Little One
by Nightwitch87
Summary: A Federation ship is attacked by an unknown enemy, there is only one survivor, a four yearold girl. During the investigation, the Titan meets conspiracy and brutality, and things turn out to be more difficult than expected.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: If I owned „Star Trek", would I be sitting here posting stories on the internet? Probably not, I'd be rich and publish stuff. Have a swimming pool. Anyway, I don't own "Star Trek:TNG", all "old" characters are property of Paramount(or so I heard). The new ones and the story are mine. Please don't sue me, there wouldn't be much money to get anyway.

Timeframe: The story begins about five months after "Nemesis".

Place: the U.S.S. Titan

Author's Note: Please review and tell me specifically, what you liked or didn't like, make suggestions in what way I could improve. Talk to me, please! Now enjoy reading.

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**Little One**

The stars were flying by quickly outside. Will was feeling dizzy at the sight of the millions of small light dots. It was a quiet night. The Titan had been assigned to do a routine flight along the neutral zone in the alpha quadrant. The area lay in a rather deserted sector, no troubles expected.

The captain had been on duty for hours and had twenty minutes left till he would be relieved by Commander Ashley Davenport, his first officer, who had just entered the light bridge. All that Riker really thought about was slipping into his warm, comfortable bed and getting a few hours of undisturbed sleep. He let a yawn slip, something that wouldn't usually happen to him. His first officer gave him a disapproving look, but didn't say anything.

Suddenly, he heard a beeping noise and the security officer's voice: "Captain, there seems to be a ship in front of us!"

"On screen!"

A shocking picture appeared before their eyes. It was a badly damaged federation ship that seemed to "float" through space. The obvious fight couldn't have been too long ago.

"Try hailing them!", Riker ordered.

"There's nobody answering.", Lieutenant Commander Cazca remarked.

"Lifesigns?", Davenport demanded.

"Indefinite", the worried voice of Commander Saunders replied. "Our scans are being distracted by the 20 percent remainder of their shields."

"What's the identity of the ship?", the captain asked.

"It's the U.S.S. Silvershot, a galaxy class ship that's mostly used on diplomatic missions.",

Saunders promptly answered.

At any other occasion, Captain Riker would have wondered how he knew that so fast, but right now, there were more important things to do.

"Whatever did this to them?", he muttered, and despite all of his Starfleet experience, he felt a wave of shock and confusion overcoming him.

"I think the proper question would be: Whoever did this to them?", Ashley Davenport mumbled.

_So, that's all I got so far. I know it sounds like the story's going to be all action, but actually, I planned on it being a lot more drama/romance, with their mission interfering a lot with the characters' private lives. I'm not all that great at inventing new species or battles, and I don't know all of the "Star Trek" engineering and technical stuff. Human interactions are way more fascinating. This is my first "Star Trek" fanfic and I hope you like it._


	2. Chapter One: The last Survivor

"Davenport to Troi", a woman's voice sounded through the darkness.

Nobody answered, but that was nothing unusual at this hour.

Deanna turned around and didn't quite now what had woken her up, there had been a sound far away.

"Counsellor, can you hear me?", she heard. Her mind still clouded from sleep she looked for the commbadge and answered. "Yes?"

"Sorry to wake you, but you are needed in Transporter Room One as quickly as possible. We're beaming over to another ship, I'll give you the details when you arrive."

"I'll be right there.", Troi answered, now fully awake. An away mission at four o'clock in the morning? It was quite unusual and had to mean that it was something serious.

"Computer, half lights.", she commanded, lifting herself up.

Deanna got dressed in a hurry and hasted down the floor.

When she arrived in the transporter room, everybody else was already there. 'Of course", she thought. The away mission was going to be led by Commander Davenport. Lieutenant Commander Cazca, the Vulcan security officer, and Lieutenant Sarah Chavelle, chief engineer, would also come.

"Commander, where exactly are we going, and more importantly why?", Deanna addressed the first officer.

"I'll explain it as soon as Doctor Jay'Cel arrives.", Ashley answered, not harshly but firmly.

She was an ambitious, determined woman who spoke her mind and tended to have a bit of a temper. Will and her had had some trouble at first, but now they really got along and he had to admit that she was a very qualified first officer. She was quite pretty, a tall, skinny woman with bright, green eyes and long, blonde hair, which she always wore up in a strict ponytail. Despite of her young age she had commanding experience and had grown up in a family full of Starfleet careers. Right now, the counsellor sensed nervousness and the urge to act from her.

That moment, the door opened and the Titan's Andorian doctor hastily entered the room.

"I'm sorry, commander.", he said out of breath. "I had to clean up the bacterial cultures from an experiment."

"Couldn't you have left that to a nurse?", came the first officer's annoyed reply. "Well, anyway, the U.S.S. Silvershot, federation flag ship was attacked. She was found a few minutes ago with most systems destroyed, life signs are undetermined. We don't know why or by whom they were attacked, but we are beaming over now."

The room was full of puzzled looks and emotions of surprise.

"Cazca, look for signs on who attacked them, Chavelle, check the logbook superficially, we're going to take it with us and do a specific analysis on the Titan."

"Doctor, Counsellor-you look for survivors."

Four "aye Sir"'s came as an instant reply.

They went up to the platform and Davenport gave the "Energy!" command.

The first thing Deanna saw after materializing was only smoke and dust. She heard the engineer coughing next to her and could hardly suppress it herself. The bridge was gloomy and smelled somewhat like burned plastic. There were unconscious bodies everywhere, the doctor had already approached the first of them.

Deanna went around checking pulses, even though she sensed that nobody was alive anymore.

"This didn't happen through the ships. Someone beamed on the Silvershot and brutally massacred them! It was a face-to-face fight, yet none of the attackers' bodies seem to be here.", Jay'Cel exclaimed, clearly shocked.

Lieutenant Commander Cazca typed something into a console and stated: "This ship has 634 people on board. It is very unlikely that the enemy killed them all by hand. What about survivors on the other stations?"

The first officer's reply came immediately. "The ship's sensors haven't picked up any. But they aren't working on decks 12 and 13. Doctor-"

"My sensors aren't picking up any either.", Jay'Cel answered before letting her finish, "But their reaching span isn't very far." Interrupting his commanding officer was rude and not a wise thing to do, but right now, they had more important things going on in their heads.

"I can't sense anyone alive.", the counsellor added sadly.

Lieutenant Chavelle had been busy typing information into the computer in order to find something. Now she frowned, got up, and went over to another console.

"Are the basic systems working on decks twelve and thirteen?", Commander Davenport asked.

"Yes, they shouldn't break down.", Chavelle said quietly.

"They SHOULDN'T?", the first officer doubted.

"They won't.", Sarah added quickly.

"Troi, Jay'Cel, look around on decks twelve and thirteen if you find any survivors, contact us immediately when you find out anything new.", Davenport ordered.

Things didn't look much better on deck twelve and, from what they had seen so far, on deck thirteen. The doctor and the counsellor had to step over several dead bodies.

"Horrible.", Deanna mumbled half to herself.

"It sure is", the Andorian confirmed.

Suddenly, she picked up on something. "I sense someone!", she exclaimed, trying to figure out the direction. The feeling was still vague, but clearly there. A great deal of fear came from-from where?

"Where?", Jay'Cel also wondered.

Deanna led him over to a room, the feeling got stronger as they entered. It had to be a machine room, only the consoles looked badly damaged, and there were six bodies lying on the floor. The doctor quickly began checking for life signs on them, but not successfully. They were dead. Counsellor Troi went over to the back wall. 'It seems to come from somewhere behind it, but how's that possible?' "Could you check over here?", she asked the Andorian. "I have picked up a life sign somewhere very close. It's weak, but steady and appears to come from BEHIND this wall." He sounded surprised. "What do you think?"

"I agree. Is there an opening somewhere?", she answered, looking around already. Jay'Cel began running his blue fingers over the metal surface. Suddenly, Deanna heard him yell. "I think I found some kind of shaft over here!" She joined him immediately and together, they removed the half-broken grating. The woman looked into the shaft, it was long, low, and narrow. At the end of it, she saw only shadows which could not clearly be identified as a person. "Is someone in there?", she asked. A quiet whimper came as an answer. The counsellor exchanged a brief look with the doctor, he had heard it, too.

She sensed a wave of great fear and resentment washing over her. "It's a girl, rather young and scared.", Troi told Jay'Cel what she had sensed.

"Don't be afraid.", she said more softly. "The attackers are gone, we are here to help you. Are you able to get out of there by yourself?"

No reply. They could see the shadow moving slightly at the back of the shaft, but apparently not to get out of there. 'Fear and confusion, she won't come out.'

"Her life signs are stabile. She isn't severely injured.", the doctor stated.

Then, he tapped his commbadge to inform the first officer of what they had found.

"Jay'Cel to Davenport, we found someone in the machine room on deck thirteen."

"A Starfleet officer? What's his medical status?", the Commander asked immediately.

"It appears to be stabile, but we're not sure yet.-Counsellor Troi says it's a young girl who's very afraid. She seems to have crawled into a long shaft, we need to get her out of it."

"I'll be right there.", Davenport replied.

In the meantime, Deanna had spoken calming words to whoever was in there. "It's alright, just stay where you are, we'll get you out of there."

Now, she directed her words at the doctor again. "Jay, she's too scared to come out, and we need to get her away from this place. I have to go in there."

"No, it's too dangerous.", he firmly replied. He knew that she would probably fit into the shaft, as opposed to himself. "It could come down any minute, just look at the condition this ship is in!"

"It looks pretty stabile to me. And what else are we supposed to do? Leave the girl in there?", she answered a little harsher than she had intended to. She knew the good-hearted Andorian only meant it well.

"How about beaming her out?"

At that moment, Commander Davenport entered the room. She came over to them and observed the situation quickly. Getting out her tricorder, she analysed the material of the wall. "Damn, they used an unusual combination of sulphates in there, causing an acid reaction with the processors of dematerialization."

"Meaning…?", the doctor asked.

"Meaning we can't beam whoever's in there out. Any suggestions?"

"I could go in there, I think it's wide and stabile enough to try.", Deanna suggested.

This time, the doctor didn't object because of the urgency of the situation, and she was glad about it.

Ashley considered it for a minute, looking at the hole in the wall, then nodded. "I agree, go in there and try to get the person out as fast as you can, but be careful. If it looks like it's going to break down, get out of there immediately."

The counsellor looked into the shaft and addressed the girl in it. "I am coming to you, don't move. There's no reason to be afraid, we only want to help you."

Carefully, she began climbing inside, hitting her head on the hard metal. Making herself as small as possible, she then started crawling forward. The shaft seemed even more narrow from the inside. A part of the walls was still shiny, the rest of it covered in greyish dust. The light was decreasing the further you advanced. Deanna swallowed, she wasn't claustrophobic, but this would certainly have been an uncomfortable situation for anyone.

There it was again, the whimpering, a little louder than before. 'Stay in contact with her, try to calm her down.', she thought. The emotions that radiated from the girl were very strong: She was terrified and didn't understand what was going on.

"I'm Counsellor Deanna Troi from the Federation flag ship Titan.", she said friendly. "We came here to see what happened to this ship, apparently you were attacked. But it's over now, whoever did this to you is gone."

There was not reaction to what she had told the other person. 'She's probably under shock and seems to be very young.'

"Counsellor, is everything alright?", commander Davenport asked from outside.

"Yes, I'm almost at the end of the shaft.", Troi called.

She was almost able to see the girl clearly now, but it was still a small figure in the dark.

Deanna tried to be even more soothing. "Don't worry, we'll get out of here together."

As she approached the end, there was one tiny light bulb in the ceiling. Now, she could identify who she had been looking for, and what he eyes found shocked her.

A little girl was sitting in the corner, her legs drawn up to her chest, trembling. Deanna estimated her to be about three or four years old. The child's face and hair was full of dirt, mostly grey dust, there were several scratches on her small hands and one on her cheek. But worst was the horrified look in her dark eyes.

"Hi.", the counsellor gave her a smile.

Suddenly, the girl moved out of her apathy and quickly tried to crawl into a side shaft to the right. Instead of hurrying after her, Deanna cried. "Wait, I'm not going to hurt you. I tell you what, how about you don't run away and I promise not to come any closer to you if you don't want me to." 'Chasing her through the ship's shaft won't do any good. I need to win her trust.'

The child stopped and turned around, giving the woman a doubtful look. Deanna didn't move an inch. When the little girl went back to the corner, she sat down in her place.

"I know you're scared.", she softly broke the silence. „That's okay, something terrible happened here. But it's alright now."

Of course it wasn't alright. It hit Deanna now that the child's family was dead, maybe she had even seen her parents being murdered. When the woman looked at the tense girl, she felt a fire of compassion inside her and the need to protect the young life.

" I came to you because we want to help you get out of the shaft, get you out of here to the flag ship I come from. You would be safe there, nobody could hurt you."

There was no reaction from the child, she seemed a little apathetic .

The counsellor pulled out a tricorder to scan her, but the little girl flinched at the sight of the instrument.

"It's okay, that's only a tricorder. I just want to see if you're hurt.", she soothingly said.

She felt the tension ease a bit. Deanna scanned her and found out that there were no severe injuries, a few superficial cuts and bruises, and an increased heart rate, which was no wonder from all the excitement. In addition to that, the child stood clearly under shock.

"You're going to be fine.", she smiled warmly. "I was trapped in a shaft similar to this one once, on Betazed, my home planet. I was ten years old and had gone to a friend's house. We were pretending to be explorers and had crawled deeper and deeper. Suddenly, we couldn't get back, we just sat behind this grating. It was pretty scary, but Shelia's mom found us after a few minutes, she just removed the grating from outside. Of course she was very angry and always kept an eye on the two of us afterwards."

"By the way, I'm Deanna. What's your name?"

The little girl didn't answer, she just kept looking at her. "Hm, you don't want to talk to me, that's a problem. How about you just nod and shake your head at my questions, okay?"

The child hesitated but gave her a small nod afterwards.

In the meantime, the rest of the away team was done with their mission. A Romulan attack could be excluded by now. Cazca and Chavelle had been beamed up with the ship's official and several private logbooks and other information. Davenport and Jay'Cel had stayed behind and were anxiously looking at the shaft. All they heard was the faint voice of Counsellor Troi.

The captain had been told about the last survivor of the "Silvershot" and knew that his wife was working on getting her(for apparently it was a young female) out of there. He trusted her skills, but couldn't help being worried.

Ashley frowned. „I wonder what she's talking about in there."

"I don't know.", Jay'Cel shrugged. "She's probably just trying to get the person to follow her out of the shaft."

"Why doesn't she just order him or her to go with her?"

"Yah right, I forgot. She could stun her with a phaser and drag her out. Of course that's going to make the victim see that we only want to help her and she's going to tell us everything about the attack afterwards.", the doctor remarked slightly amused.

"Don't be sarcastic about it.", Commander Davenport replied a little angry, because she didn't like it when other people made her sound stupid.

The Andorian didn't comment any further. He was an emotional, passionate person who loved his job. Jay'Cel had been born into a large family and always had been the one to watch his younger siblings. Those years of caring had brought him experience in dealing with different kinds of people. He had grown up on Andoria, but had lived on earth for two years. The social aspect of being a doctor was clearly what he preferred over Starfleet bureaucracy. However, his outstanding medical successes had helped him build a career on Federation's newest flag ship.

He knew that the first officer was only worried about the time their mission took because there was lots of information to evaluate. And if he was honest, the thought of an unknown enemy that might attack again wasn't appealing to him either.

The counsellor had asked the little girl some banal questions in the last few minutes, and told her some of her experiences. She was determined to stay in conversation. Just then, she heard Will's voice over her commbadge. "Riker to Troi, how are things going?"

"They're going pretty well.", she answered, "But I need a little bit more time."

"Is the shaft still stabile? Are you making any progress?", the man asked.

"The shaft looks pretty much undamaged. And yes about the progress. I'll explain the rest later, if that's okay.", the addressed one answered. She didn't think it a good idea to tell her him what she knew about the child in her presence.

He hesitated for a second, then replied. "Alright, take the time you need. And Deanna-be careful. Riker out."

His wife couldn't help but smile at the gentle concern in his voice. 'Hopefully we'll get out of here soon.'

The little girl had a questioning look on her face. Deanna knew that she was probably wondering who she had spoken to, but hoped that she would ask the question herself, that she would speak. She waited for a moment, then said. "You're wondering who I was talking to, aren't you?" The child nodded. "That was the captain of the Titan, the ship we're coming from. He's also my husband."

She paused shortly, then continued. "The Titan is a big flag ship, a nice place to live. Sometimes it's makes me sad that we can't go outside and see the sun, but I've lived in space for so long, I got used to it. And there's holodecks that we can visit, they create nature, it looks pretty amazing, but it's still not the real thing. Have you ever been to a holodeck?"

The younger one nodded, and a look of grief came over her face.

'Making her think about its destruction won't help. I better change the subject.' "Aren't you thirsty?" The sad look was washed away by one of desire and a strong nod.

"I am, too."

"I guess it's about time we got out of here. I'd like to bring you to our space ship, it's a safe, warm place, I think you will like it. There's no reason to be afraid, we will look after you there." The counsellor scrutinized the girl's features, but there was hardly any response. "But first, we need to crawl out of this shaft. Look over there", she pointed at the hole, "the exit is close. Will you come with me?"

Deanna held out her hand, and the child took it. Troi smiled, the barrier was broken.

"You go first, I'll be right behind you. Watch your head."

Suddenly, she saw a blue head sticking into the shaft. "Is everything alright in there?", Jay'Cel called.

"Yes, we are coming out now!"

The child seemed a little insecure what to think about the Andorian. "It's okay, he's the ship's doctor, a nice guy. Just keep crawling towards him.", Deanna assured her.

As they were moving forward, she kept talking to the girl to get her mind off the situation.

When they were almost at the end, Jay'Cel spoke again. "Good job, you're almost there, just keep moving."

'I'll sure be glad to get out of here.', the counsellor thought.

When the younger of the two had reached the end, the doctor got a hold on her and set her down, smiling friendly. Commander Davenport helped Deanna out of the shaft and for a second, they all looked at each other, clearly surprised.

The Andorian pulled out a tricorder to scan the girl. "Hello, I'm Jay'Cel, you can call me Jay. I just want to see if you have any bad injuries. Does it hurt anywhere?"

But the subject of his examination only stared at him.

"She doesn't feel like talking right now.", the counsellor said, as if it were the most self-evident thing in the world. "But you have to tell them if you're hurting, okay?"

Understandingly, Doctor Jay'Cel kneeled down next to his little patient. "Looks like you got a few bruises and cuts. Nothing bad." In contradiction to what he had found out a about the girl's physical condition, he looked worried. "Do you feel any pain?" She nodded and pointed at her chest and throat area. The doctor quickly did another, more specific scan to determine the cause, but didn't seem to find anything.

"I'll have to examine her on the ship.", he finally stated.

'As soon as possible.', Deanna added in her mind.

"Davenport to Riker", the first officer tapped her commbadge.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Counsellor Troi found a girl in the shaft, she appears to be very young. They're here now, nobody seems hurt, but we should beam up immediately, Sir."

"I'll give the order right away. Riker out.", the captain answered.

They waited for a short moment before being beamed up. Deanna held the girl's hand again, as they're bodies were dissolved into tiny particles.

When they had materialized again in Transporter Room One, she faintly heard the first officer giving orders to the others, when suddenly, the child collapsed.

"Doctor!" Quickly, she gathered the little girl's body in her arms.

_Still here? This is probably one of the longest chapters there's going to be. I just felt like I had to describe these events in detail. Maybe the part about not being able to beam the child out of the shaft didn't sound believable, but you know what, it's science fiction. Let's just assume it's possible. I'm going to upload a chapter about every three days, depending on its length and how much I'm uploading on fictionpress(story: "The Dust behind the Stage")Yea, sorry for not putting more of the characters' private lives in there, either, like I promised. But I am going to do that in the next few chapters, at the latest in chapter three. This background is just necessary for it.Is this still worth continuing? Please review and tell me what your thoughts are!_


	3. Chapter Two: Questions

They had brought her to sickbay and run some scans. The doctor, the counsellor, and the captain were standing by the little girl's bed. She was still unconscious.

"The scans haven't shown any negative results. There are no severe injuries, the cause of her collapsing lies in exhaustion and shock.", Jay'Cel stated.

Will saw Deanna's relief at these words.

"I could wake her up now, but I think it would be a better idea to let her rest for a while. If she didn't, I'd probably have to give her sedatives, and I don't like doing that to a child.", the doctor added.

Those present nodded. The girl must have been through a lot.

They were interrupted by a voice coming out of the highest ranked officer's commbadge. "Commander Saunders to Captain Riker, I have discovered the girl's identity." The addressed one looked up in surprise, that was fast.

"Good work, Commander. Send the information directly to sickbay.", he ordered.

"Aye, Sir.", the second officer confirmed.

William settled his gaze on the child in front of him. The cuts had been healed, but she still looked bad. What was her story?

When they heard a nearby console beeping with an incoming, internal message, he went over to it and began reading. It took him a few moments to grasp all of the displayed information. When he had finished, the captain went over to the other two, curious looking officers.

"Her name is Lily Andrews, she's four years old. Ensign Emily Carter had her on the Silvershot with her, she must have been her legal guardian. They have only been on the ship for eight weeks. Ensign Carter's body…", he paused for a second, "…was found in the machine room on deck thirteen."

Deanna gasped, while Jay'Cel had a dismayed expression on his face. The thing they had all hoped not to be true had just been confirmed. The little girl had probably seen her family getting murdered.

"There's not much more information on her.", Will continued. "I'll send a message to several departments, not only to Starfleet, but also to ground stations on earth and in the main human colonies. They might know where Lily was before her time on the Silvershot. In the end, it will be up to them what will happen to her."

Suddenly, they heard a nurse shouting. "Doctor Jay'Cel, an engineer just came in with severe burnings!" The doctor immediately hurried over to her.

The two remaining stood in silence for a few seconds, facing the child. Then, Will put a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Are you okay?", he asked softly. "Yes.", was all she replied, turning towards him. He saw an upset look in her dark eyes. This whole case was sad, but they had seen things like that before.

"I have to get back to the bridge.", he told her. "I'll stop by sickbay later."

"Okay, I'll stay here till Lily wakes up.", she answered.

Usually, public displays of affection weren't allowed while on duty, but today, Will gave her a quick kiss before he left. He didn't see her smirk after him because of the gesture.

The counsellor had changed her appointment schedule and waited for about two hours, even though Jay'Cel had offered to contact her immediately when the little girl would wake up. She just sat around when she noticed a small movement in Lily's body. Finally, she opened her brown eyes and began observing her surroundings. "Hi.", Deanna smiled friendly, "You're in sickbay on the U.S.S. Titan, the star ship I told you of. You fainted after we had beamed up, so we brought you here. Do you remember?"

The child looked confused for a second, then slightly nodded.

Deanna called the doctor, who joined them, looking energetic. "Ah, you're back, at last.", he remarked. "Did you sleep well?" No reaction came from Lily. "Well, let me check how you're doing." Jay'Cel pulled out a tricorder and scanned her briefly. "You seem much better, I'm glad to see that. But you still have to rest a little more." The child just kept staring blankly into space.

Just then, there was an announcement made. "All bridge officers, please report to the conference room in five minutes."

Deanna sighed, then turned to the doctor. "Jay, could I maybe have a glass of water?"

"Of course, I'll get you some.", he went over to the replicator.

"Thank you.", she smiled. "Would you like something to drink?", she offered the girl.

Lily didn't answer, there was no sign that she had even heard her. So the counsellor took a sip herself. 'I'll take care of that later.', she made a mental note. The child's apathy worried her, but right now she didn't have the time to do something about it. She knew that Lily would get enough fluids one way or another. But when Deanna tried o stand up and move away from her, the girl suddenly grabbed her hand and gave her a pleading look. "Sorry, I have to go now. But I'll be back in a little while. The nurses here are nice, they are going to take good care of you."

After Jay'Cel had gathered some instruments and put them away, they went to the conference room together. The main part of it was filled by a long, silver table. There was one blue chair at the end and several others along the sides. A large window took up most of one wall, and they could see the stars flying by. It was a little past seven thirty in the morning, but of course you couldn't tell by the darkness outside. Everyone took their usual places round the table.

There was no more time for private conversations, because the captain stood up immediately, straightened his uniform, and walked to a big screen behind his chair.

"As all of you know, we have evaluated the information we found on the U.S.S. Silvershot.", he raised his voice. "We are here now more to discuss our further actions, than to jump to early conclusions."

He pointed to the screen, and suddenly yellow lines appeared on it, showing the simulation of a flying space ship. "What we are looking at now is a reconstruction of what happened based on technical data. Mr. Saunders, you created this, so we are awaiting your explanation." Will sat down.

What followed was a detailed report of what had happened. Where the ship had been hit, in what order, and in what pattern the "unknown enemy" had destroyed it. Deanna listened, but thought it rather uninteresting. Finally, he was finished, but only to be followed by the next report.

"Lieutenant Chavelle, you investigated the technical damage.", the captain addressed the engineer.

"Well, taking from the traces of energy I found left on the shields, it must have been a powerful weapon that could destroy a galaxy class ship with few hits. It was partially photonic energy, but the worst damage was done through heat." She was talking very fast, almost as if she wanted to get it over with. "The heat wasn't directly produced by the weapon itself, but they must have used some kind of energetic mixture that creates a small beam which drastically increases in strength and temperature by getting in contact with some kinds of hard matter. It's an interesting concept, still experimental to Starfleet."

"Lieutenant…", Will said in a complaining, yet not angry voice. Deanna figured it was supposed to mean "get to the point". She sensed the chief engineer getting nervous.

"The use of it indicates that the attackers were not of any species known to us, unless they have suddenly discovered a new technology. But it's not just the weapon, the way in which they attacked doesn't fit any of our known enemies either."

"Thank you.", the captain stopped her. "Commander Davenport, have you found anything in the logbooks yet?"

"I looked through them, and there was nothing worth mentioning at first. It appears that they were on their way to Deep Space 8 to fix a problem with the silicon crystals. No unusual conflicts were recorded. Then, a few hours ago, they were suddenly attacked by a star ship, the captain described it as small, triangular, and blue.", she told them. "It looks like they didn't recognise the enemy either. They tried to send photonic torpedoes, but it didn't do much damage to the other ship, which indicates an advanced technology. The fight didn't take long."

"So what we're dealing with is an unknown enemy who's better equipped than we are, and attacks Federation ships who didn't do anything to harm them.", the captain summarized.

"Did the Silvershot have problems in that sector before?", Lieutenant Commander Cazca asked.

"Unlikely.", Eric Saunders took the word. "They were a star ship that was basically used on nothing other than diplomatic missions. They would have reported any difficulties to Starfleet Head Quarters immediately, who would have send another ship to investigate it."

Deanna was surprised How did he know? Was it just made up?

"Commander, how do you know so much about the U.S.S. Silvershot?", Will asked, as if he had thought the same.

"Because I used to serve on the ship, Sir.", he answered. Everyone in the room looked startled. That was news to them.

"But I didn't read that in your personnel file. I'm sure I would have remembered."

"That's because the Silvershot used to go by a different name. When I served on it three years ago, it was still called the 'Newton'. But after a major catastrophe…they changed it.", Saunders replied.

"Could this catastrophe have anything to do with the attack?", the captain wondered.

"No, Sir. I'm absolutely sure it couldn't.", the second officer sincerely stated.

Deanna knew that her husband trusted Eric Saunders and wouldn't ask any further.

"Very well. It seems then that Lily Andrews is the only link to the events we have.", Will remarked.

"Captain, I don't think we can interrogate her about it-at least not yet.", the counsellor raised her voice. "She seems to have suffered a major trauma, through which her psyche withdrew from reality. She doesn't speak, nor does she react to her surroundings anymore. It's a protective mechanism, and I don't know how long it'll take until she'll be ready to remember. A confrontation would be exactly the wrong thing to do."

"I understand. She won't be asked about it for now. But sometime, we will have to know what happened, and if she can help us find it out we'll have to confront her with it sooner or later. There's lives at stake here, we don't know if there'll be another attack. But for now, the child is to be left alone.", he demanded.

Several other points were discussed in the conference, but they didn't come to a final conclusion, so all they could do was go over the information once more, and contact Starfleet Headquarters about it.

When the officers were dismissed, Deanna waited for Will, since she knew he wanted to go to Sickbay as well. They arrived there a few minutes after the doctor, who approached them immediately .

"How is she doing?", the counsellor asked.

"She's completely apathetic, no reactions at all.", he told them. "With a few tricks I got her to drink something, but she won't eat. That's not very harmful for her, I'm giving her nurturing injections, but it would still be better if she'd want to eat herself. Physically, she's doing okay, but I'm worried about the psychological damage. From my experience I'd say all we can do is wait. What do you think, counsellor?"

"I agree.", she nodded. "Time will do its deed-hopefully."

Will and Deanna went up to the child's bed.

"Hello, Lily.", the woman greeted her. To her surprise, the little girl flinched a bit at the mentioning of her name. "This is Captain William Riker.", she introduced her husband. Lily's eyes stayed fixed on the same point at the ceiling.

"Hi.", Will said. "Don't worry, you'll be out of here soon."

"Yes.", the counsellor agreed. "Once you're doing better, I could show you the rest of the ship. There's some interesting stuff to see."

They talked to the little girl for a few minutes, until Will was needed to answer an urgent message from Starfleet Head Quarters.

Deanna stayed behind.

_So what will the message say? Can anyone guess? _

_Last chapter I told you that I'll be posting about every three days. The next chapter will probably appear even sooner cause I got it all planned out in my mind. But after that, school's starting again and I will have less time to write, so I'll post about one chapter a week. About every weekend. _

_Thank you to all of the reviewers. _

_Sorry that I jumped from the prologue to chapter three, it was not intentionally and I corrected it now._

_JD11, I did notice that mistake with the "flag ships" in retrospect. It's going to take me some time to correct it, but I will. _

_Thank you everybody for your suggestions and remarks._

_By the way, my word spelling checker uses British English, but I usually write in AE. So some words may be spelled differently from how you're used to it, but others may still be the same. Sorry about that. And if you have any suggestions on what names to give star ships, planets, etc., just tell me!_

_Hope you're still enjoying it!_


	4. Chapter Three: Chain of Command

The captain entered his ready room and sat down behind the console. He opened the confidential message by pressing a button on the computer. The face of a stern man appeared on the small screen. He had white hair and a full beard, a commanding look lay in his grey eyes. Even if his uniform hadn't identified him as an admiral, one could tell by his posture that he was of high rank. Admiral Wilson was about thirty years older than Will, who wasn't the youngest himself(although he sometimes acted like it). The strict officer had turned down many offers to retire, apparently his life really revolved around Starfleet.  
"Good morning, Captain.", he greeted now.  
"Admiral Wilson.", the addressed one nodded. He didn't really have something against his commanding officer, but this admiral usually brought bad news, and liked to show off his rank wherever he could. "How are you?", he friendly asked.  
What was that supposed to mean? They both knew he had something important to say, why did he have to dance around the subject? And small talk wasn't really the admiral's favourite thing to do. "I'm fine, Sir, thank you.", the captain politely answered. 'We don't want to give him a reason to get angry'  
"That's good to hear. William, I heard of the incident with the U.S.S. Silvershot." 'Ah, that's what this is all about. Who did he hear it from? And since when does he know me on first name basis'  
"How far are you in your investigation?", the admiral interrogated(or so it seemed to Will.  
"We haven't discovered the attacker's identity yet. The technology doesn't fit any of the Federation species, or its known enemies." Before he could mention the survivor they had found, he was interrupted by Wilson.  
"I'm sure you're doing your best. But leave it. This is out of your hands, William. The Titan has other things to do, the investigation will be continued by a special unit."  
"Why?", the lower ranked officer asked, highly surprised.  
"There are other ships that are used for just this purpose. Yours is mainly of scientific nature.", his commanding officer explained.  
"But-"  
"You will be assigned to a new mission shortly.", the admiral interrupted. "And Captain-I expect my orders to be followed."  
"Yes...Sir", the man replied through clenched teeth. "Wilson out.", the other finished.  
No further explanations, no reason, nothing. Just a short speech about purpose and command. Something seemed wrong, terribly wrong. On the other hand, Starfleet Headquarters tended to order things without explaining. Often, they had their reasons. Will still hated it. But he knew what he was supposed to do: Obey the orders and shut up. They didn't know about Lily Andrews. The captain hadn't had the chance to talk about it. Of course he should still tell them. He knew that they would want to know, they would interrogate her, it didn't matter that she was a child. Yet technically, Will hadn't gone against the Prime Directive. The investigation was out of his hands, how was he supposed to guess that they would need the girl? At that moment, the captain made a decision, which could have bad consequences for him. If the other officers didn't object, he wouldn't hand out Lily to another ship. But he would still contact the ground stations and try to figure out her identity.  
  
Deanna had stayed in Sickbay for about three more hours. She had talked to the child and helped the doctor look through files. 'There's nothing better than good old paper work.', she thought. The counsellor didn't like it, but what did it help? The work still had to be done. Now, she sat by Lily's side, who had just fallen asleep. The noise around her didn't seem to bother her at all. Deanna was lost in thought, so she didn't notice Will approaching her. "You look bad.", he observed.  
"Why thank you, everybody likes to hear that once in a while.", she sarcastically replied. "I didn't mean it like that. Come on, you know you couldn't look ugly if you tried."  
That comment got a smile out of her. He always had either a joke or something charming to say. "But you seem tired.", he continued, serious this time. "You didn't eat since last night and didn't get a whole lot of sleep either."  
"Neither did you.", she countered.  
"Yea, but I'm off duty now. Yours has only just started."  
"So what am I supposed to do?"  
"Get some sleep. I'm relieving you from duty for the next three hours."  
"Thanks. But you go first. Be a good example.", she said.  
"Maybe we should both go to bed.", he grinned. There was a sparkle in his blue eyes and Deanna picked up on a certain thing going on in his mind.  
"Captain William Riker, how can you think of something like that right now?", she exclaimed with false anger. "You can't blame me for the thoughts that are going through my underdeveloped, human brain, counsellor. They are out of my control!", her husband stated.  
"Yea, that's what I think sometimes, too.", she mumbled. "Just turn off your empathy.", he joked.  
"I might as well.", she replied, suppressing a yawn. There was a short pause.  
"No, seriously. Get some sleep, Imzadi."  
Deanna followed his request and left Sickbay with one last look at the Lily.  
  
_This chapter's kind of short. I didn't get any reviews for the last one. But thank you for the ones I got before. If I don't get any for this one either, the story won't be finished. What do you think? Is is worth continuing?_


	5. Chapter Four: Pictures

Two days had passed since their discovery of the destroyed ship. The captain had told the crew that they had not to interfere with the investigation. Some were angered by it, most did not understand, but of course they obeyed.

The doctor had thought it better for Lily to leave sickbay. She had been doing better, and responded especially well to Counsellor Troi and Jay'Cel. Yet she still didn't speak, but yelled in her sleep. Apparently the child shielded herself from the memory of what had happened, but it came through in nightmares. She currently stayed with Deanna and Will.

The Titan was still patrolling along the borders of the neutral zone, apparently there was no more important mission for them at the moment.

Deanna was just returning from her office, and glad about it. Her last patient had been a nervous, young man with severe claustrophobia(not very convenient on a star ship), who also was a hypochondriac. He had somehow reminded her of Reginald Barclay.

Lieutenant McKenzie had looked after Lily during her absence. Deanna entered the quarters and found the two of them playing on the floor with "Graphotech's", small, magnetic sticks and balls you could build all sorts of things with. When the little girl saw who had come home, her face lit up, and she proudly pointed at one of her constructions, which looked like some kind of tilted house(of course that depended on the point of view, it could have been a bear, too).

"Hello.", Deanna said. "Oh, that looks very nice."

The younger lieutenant stood up and greeted her.

"How did it go?", Deanna asked.

"Oh, everything was fine.", McKenzie replied. "Lily and I had some fun, didn't we?"

The child nodded in agreement.

Deanna smiled at the red-haired woman. "Thank you very much, Angela."

"Anytime."

The baby-sitter left and Lily seemed to lose interest for the Graphotech's. She went over to the flowers and began fingering the pink blossoms.

"They're pretty, aren't they?", the counsellor went over to her. "On Betazed, we call them Seyharo. Back there, our garden was full of them."

"Left home.", two words came out of the girl's mouth.

"What?", Deanna exclaimed in surprise.

No answer came from the child. "Lily, what do you mean?" But the addressed one was silent again, and just pointed at her.

"Did you want to say that I left home?", the brunette woman asked more gently.

The young girl nodded. Deanna was going to reply 'like you did?', but thought it better not to.

She could sense that Lily wouldn't react positively to pressure, but she had another idea.

"Okay, we still need to clean up your toys." They picked up the tiny parts and put them back into the replicator. When they were finished, the counsellor made her suggestion. "Will is going to be on duty for another four hours. How about I get us some dinner? Well, I'll have to clean up some stuff first. Do you like drawing?"

The child nodded. Deanna had the replicator produce some paper and coloring pencils and set it down on the table. Lily ran over to the dark blue couch and began drawing immediately.

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Later that night, Will was sitting in the captain's chair, blankly staring straight ahead. Duty hours could be long if no one you could talk to sat beside you. Now, even Commander Saunders had been relieved from duty, and the bridge was full of young ensigns he didn't know well. Bridge duty with Eric was fun, he was an easy going man, quick to crack a joke.

Lieutenant Commander Cazca entered the bridge.

"Captain, I have a suggestion to make.", he said in a serious voice.

"Go ahead.", Will replied, trying to sound interested.

"Since we are patrolling the borders of the neutral zone right now, with no mission specifications, we could efficiently use the time for a security check up.", the Vulcan officer remarked.

"Didn't you just do one of those? Are there any problems I should know of?", the captain asked.

"The internal safety appears to be intact. The last check up was nine weeks and three days ago. I request another one, since there seems to be nothing of higher priority that…"

"Alright.", William interrupted him. "If you have nothing else to do, go make your check up."

"Aye, Sir.", Cazca replied, and left.

'That's one eager officer.', the captain thought. Lieutenant Commander Cazca was one of these people who come early, leave late, and never get sick. When he was working, hardly anything was able to throw him off his concept. He was a strictly logical man, a quiet and serious guy.

Just as he left, another officer entered the bridge. Will smiled when Deanna approached him.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?", she asked.

"Sure.", the captain accompanied her to his ready room.

He sat down behind the console, she in front of it, crossing her legs.

"Lily talked.", his wife immediately got to the point.

"Really? That's great!" He was sincerely happy about the progress.

"But only two words that sort of slipped out. She hasn't said anything since then.", Deanna slowed down his joy.

"Oh.", he remarked. "Well, that's good, isn't it? What did she say?"

"She was looking at the flowers and I told her something about Betazoid Seyharos, remember, I had them in the garden there." Will smirked, he did recall the beautiful garden. "Suddenly, she said 'left home'."

"Left home.", he repeated.

"Me leaving Betazed must have somehow made her think of her leaving home. But that's actually not why I'm here.", the counsellor said.

"She drew a little. Children often draw pictures of themselves, their house, etc. And her pictures show this." Deanna showed him a sheet of paper she had been holding.

The captain looked at them, they almost made him shiver.

"This one shows some people running away.", his wife continued in a concerned voice.

"They are hunted by these big, black figures here. Some of the officers, the red, yellow, and blue figures are fighting them, see the blue line coming from their hands. I'm sure it's supposed to be phaser fire. And now look what's coming from some of the black shadows."

The officer's eyes wandered over the picture, and widened.

"Blue lines. They have phasers, too!"

Deanna nodded. "Only some. There's more of the black figures than of the others. And several of them appear to fight with knives, or something similar."

"They're also very big.", Will remarked.

"That's supposed to symbolize their power. Lily must have been terribly scared of them."

"But why don't they have specific faces, or bodies?"

"I'm not sure. But I've had a case of child abuse, and the little boy didn't draw the criminal a specific face, either. There can be different reasons. Maybe she doesn't want to face the attackers' identity."

The captain didn't say anything, his blue eyes were still fixed on the drawing. 'Who attacked them?', he wondered. Deanna watched him and waited for a moment.

Then, she put the next paper on the desk. It showed a person, one of the Silvershot's crew members, lying on the floor, bleeding out of the abdominal area. Above him, a dark figure stood with raised arm, a sharp object in his hand. There was one smaller body lying higher in the picture, and one tiny orange figure sitting at the very top. The whole scenery was hard to see, because everything had been over colored with grey.

"I think that this orange figure is supposed to be Lily. She's very high in the picture, that's the background. If you look closer, she drew an open mouth, so she's screaming. Just like the person getting murdered here.", the counsellor explained. "The grey color is either the smoke, or she covered up the picture because of her feelings about it. I think this is what she saw."

Apparently, Deanna had finished her analyzation. Will looked over the pictures once more, then locked eyes with her.

"The question is: Who are the black figures?", he summarized.

"Yes.", was all she replied.

"Is Lily asleep?", he asked.

"I brought her to bed half an hour ago. Jay'Cel came over to see how she was doing, and he agreed to watch her for a while so I could go talk to you."

"Thank you for telling me about the pictures immediately. I think we are going to fly along the border of the neutral zone in the alpha quadrant again, just to see if there's more trouble."

"You're planning to get into the investigation? That will cause trouble.", she remarked, not in a criticizing voice.

"I'm only looking after the special investigation ship's safety.", Will grinned.

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_So, how's everyone doing? Still interested? Thank you for the amount of reviews I got, I really do appreciate it. Keep reviewing like that!_

_Rach, you asked what was my native language. I'm German, I live in Germany. I've had English classes since 5th grade(now I'll be in 12th)._

_Wow, I have to admit this story is going a different way than I originally planned. That's because it has to be logical and more realistic, in my head, it was only personal and cheesey._

_It's probably going to be longer, too._

_One question: If I'm referring to a star ship, do I write "she", or "it"? I read it both ways._

_By the way, as you've probably noticed I finally found a good way to format the chapter. I'm going to continue like that! ----- means a change of perspective, paragraphs are double spaced._


	6. Chapter Five: Children and Course Change...

_I don't usually put the Author's Note first, but before I forget what I wanted to say...there you go._

_JD11: You're partly right with saying that I stole the bear thing from you. I was going to put "dragon" first, instead of "bear", but it just seemed too abstract. Something like that really happened(I'm not just making it up)._

_Nora, my cousin, is(or was) crazy about these "Belleville" figures(I don't know if you have them in America). Because she didn't have the Belleville houses(they're really expensive), she always built "Lego" stables for her horses. One day, she made something out of Lego and put it to her Belleville horses, so I went "nice horse", cause I automatically assumed it was one, too. Her reply: "That's a dragon!" I still have no idea why she put a dragon with her horses, but I guess it doesn't really matter. _

_So when I couldn't think of anything that looked like a house, I just wrote bear, because it was the first thing that came to mind, probably because there was this bear picture in your story. I'm sorry if you feel robbed, I just didn't think the similarities were that big. Thank you by the way for your help with my Star Trek language, the problem with the flag ship, "she", or "it", etc._

_Now enjoy reading, and please review!_

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"Will, could you maybe shut the door, please?", Deanna yelled over the music. Not that she didn't like hearing him play the trombone, but she also had to get these reports done. The music stopped for a few seconds, and her husband had the separation slide into place.

Yet it was still hard to focus. The counsellor wouldn't usually get distracted this fast, but somehow her concentration was dissolving into nothing at the moment.

Her gaze wandered over to Lily, who sat on the floor, playing with some dolls. She was deeply involved in her game, it was almost funny to watch her seriousness. The child's attention span lasted rather long. She was by far less pale than she had been four days ago, and looked healthier in general. Lily was pretty small for her age, her long, dirty blonde hair fell over her shoulders in waves, she was cute. But her dark eyes had a scared look in them, one that was too painful for a four year-old.

Deanna emptied the hot chocolate and forced herself to focus on the work again, it wouldn't get done by itself.

But after a few paragraphs, Will opened the door. Lily got up and ran towards him, she quickly slipped into the other room. The tall man followed her, and saw her looking at the trombone. The girl ran her hand over its shiny, golden surface, then tried to pick it up.

"Hold on, it's heavy.", William stopped her. He then took the instrument with both hands, and showed it to the child. "See, here's where you blow in the air, and when you move this, different tunes come out. Of course you also have to use your lips." Lily looked at him, pleading.

"No.", he smirked, "That's really too big for you."

When he saw her disappointment, he thought for a second, then added: "But I have an idea."

The man went over to the replicator, and demanded a horn similar to those on Nirienda 3. It was not something like the horns on earth, but a light instrument which had about the size and shape of a big shell. Strange symbols were engraved into its smooth, brown surface, and there was a hole on the side.

Will showed the little girl how it had to be covered with your hand in different positions, and where the air was to be blown. Then, Lily had a try herself. At first, all that came out was a loud, annoying noise, but after a few times, you could make out different tunes. Of course they weren't melodic yet, but they still were tunes. The child had a problem covering the hole with her hand, but didn't give up. She seemed to enjoy it.

"That's a good start!", Will approved. "You should practice it."

Several minutes later, Lily put the horn back into the replicator, and came running into the living room.

"I played horn!", she exclaimed proudly.

Deanna and Will both looked startled, but the woman, who had heard the child-like voice before, quickly reacted, covering up her surprise.

"I heard it!", she replied, hoping that the conversation would carry on. "Do you like it?"

"Yes! I wanna do it again and again.", Lily replied with enthusiasm.

"Well, I'm sure Will is going to help you play the horn again, if you ask him.", the pretty woman said, smiling.

"Yea.", was all her husband was able to mumble.

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Later that day, he had to return to duty. On the bright bridge with him were Commander Davenport , Counsellor Troi, Ensign La'Vel , and several officers he didn't know the names of. They had finally arrived in the right sector. But so far, there was no Federation ship to be seen.

"Lieutenant, do another scan.", he ordered.

The young man did some typing, then gave the same answer for the third time: "No other ships detected."

"How can that be?", Ashley asked impatiently.

"Perhaps they are finished with the investigation here and moved on to another area. The ship's wrack was already removed!", the counsellor suggested.

"Maybe.", the captain replied, although he didn't really believe it. But he couldn't possibly speak his suspicion aloud, it wouldn't do any good for his crew one way or the other. And he knew there were already various rumors going around. "It was a secret Starfleet experiment that killed them."-"The Cardassians attacked and the Federation is trying to cover it up to prevent another war."-"It's the same alien species that openly fired on a transportation ship six years ago."-"It was the Romulan secret service, they want to stop the movement towards peace and create a new gap."-"They knew too much." Some of them made the experienced Starfleet officer shudder, others reminded him of certain, poorly done holo novels. He tried to keep a distance for himself from all of them. It was mostly prejudiced gossip.

His thoughts were interrupted by the young Lieutenant's voice. "There's another Starfleet ship coming. We are being hailed."

"On screen.", he automatically answered.

"Hello, Captain Riker. I am Captain Marie Kanura.", the other officer introduced herself. She was a short, Asian looking woman with a friendly smile.

"Pleased to meet you, Captain.", Riker answered.

"The pleasure is mine. I have orders to warn all ships coming to this sector not to fly through it. Since there has been an attack, the source of which could not be determined yet, this area is still being examined. But I can tell you a route around it.", Kanura explained.

"That won't be necessary, thank you. But who gave the order?", Will asked.

"Admiral Wilson.", she replied.

"Alright then, we'll change our course. I hope you are successful!"

"Have a good flight. Kanura out."

The captain turned to Troi, and gave her a questioning look.

"She's being honest.", was all Deanna had to say.

"Change course to Henada 4.", Will ordered. "Commander Davenport, you have the bridge."

"Aye, Sir.", the addressed ones instantly confirmed.

Riker pulled at his uniform, turned around, and went to the turbo lift.

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When Deanna entered her quarters, she heard a soft, simple melody coming out of the living room. Whoever played it didn't have some notes the right way, and was accompanied by a man's singing voice. It took her a few seconds to realize who it was, and she had to grin. 'I don't think I've ever heard him sing.'. The melody only consisted of about five different notes, but the lyrics were funny. They were about some sheep named Julie, who was busy eating all day long.

The counsellor peeked around the corner, not wanting to interrupt anything.

There they were, sitting on the floor, a middle aged man and a small child. The child was playing the horn, while the man was singing about a crazy animal. How cute! Weird certainly, but cute. Deanna felt a wave of love float through her.

But right in the middle, they broke off because they couldn't suppress their laughter any longer. Deanna stepped inside the room and shook her head.

"Hello, I see you're having fun.", she smiled.

"Of course not.", Will replied with exaggerated seriousness.

Lily started giggling. "Yes, we are!", she yelled.

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They had eaten dinner and brought Lily to bed. She was one of the rare children Deanna knew who would do so without protesting. But she was still a little shy, and afraid to get in trouble.

Now, they were sitting on the couch, Will had put his arm around Deanna and she leaned on him. The lights were dim, it was one of these comfortable moments where one just sits without doing anything.

"Will?"

"Hm?", he answered.

"I think we should put Lily into daycare tomorrow. A babysitter is fine, but it would be good for her to be with the other children. And it's less boring there!", she said.

"Okay. I'm on duty before you tomorrow, so it would be great if you could bring her.", her husband suggested.

"Alright. By the way, do you mind her staying with us?"

"Why should I? She's a sweet, little girl. It's just that…", he paused.

"What?"

"I'm not sure if I'm all that great at dealing with children. I like them, and so far I never had a problem, but this is different. What if I…screw up?"

"You won't. But I understand, I'm worried that I might do something wrong, too.", Deanna replied.

"Are you kidding? You are so great with kids, I always sort of admired that natural talent of yours."

The woman shrugged. "It's not a question of talent. More the experience. But you really don't have to worry. You know what happened today?", she asked, turning her head so she was able to look at him. "Lily laughed for the first time here. She wasn't scared or sad, but just a child again. And you made her. It was wonderful.", she gently said. Deanna looked into his blue eyes and saw the certain spark unique to them. Her words had made him proud.

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	7. Chapter Six: Fear

_Taya7: Danke für deine zwei reviews. Schön, dass dir die Geschichte gefällt. Sag mir bitte, falls meine Charakterisierung vom Original abweicht oder schlechter wird!!_

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„Lily, this is Mrs. Parker.", Deanna introduced the educator. She was a nice woman in her forties, friendly, but also able to be strict. Her black curls were pulled back into a simple dutt, and the large, blue eyes were shining with energy. Right now, she was beaming at the new child.

"Hello, Lily. It's nice to meet you.", she greeted.

The girl spoke a barely audible "hello", and shyly held on to Deanna's hand.

"We're playing a lot here.", Mrs. Parker continued without irritation. "Today, everybody's making something out of play-doh.-Do you like play-doh?"

The girl hesitated, so Deanna bent down and talked to her. "I have to go to work. I will pick you up around twelve in my lunch break. That will be a while, but I'm sure you'll have fun here." She put her hands on Lily's shoulders, and smiled at her. "If there's something wrong, I'm always nearby. And they're all very nice here."

'Okay, time to go now, or she'll get even more insecure.', she thought.

"Come on, we'll go meet some of the other children now.", the educator suggested.

Deanna pulled away and the little girl went with Mrs. Parker, quickly waving back.

"I'll see you later.", the counsellor said. She stood there and looked after them for a second, then turned around and left.

'Don't be stupid, Deanna, she's in good hands.'

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"That is why I would like to beam onboard, talk to you in person, and see how the child is doing.", the man finished.

"I understand, and can assure you of my full cooperation. We both want to find the best solution for Lily. But we are just on our way to the beta quadrant to assist in a transport, I cannot give you anymore information than that, it's confidential."

The social worker sighed. "Alright. Your mission actually brings you closer to Risa. Since it can't be avoided, I would suggest we meet afterwards. You said it would take two days?"

"Yes. When we are finished, I will hail you and we'll figure out meeting coordinates. You are welcome to beam onboard then. I guarantee that we will do our best to take good care of Lily Andrews.", the captain agreed.

"I trust you will. Lahera out."

Will leaned back. These were certainly some interesting news.

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"Mmh, dinner tasted wonderful, thank you.", Deanna remarked smiling.

"A Riker creation.", the addressed one said almost jokingly, but still proud.

"Well, then I must admit that that I kind of like those.", the counsellor replied with an eye roll.

"Kind of?", her husband frowned.

She just shrugged and kept staring at the wall, knowing, that they were only avoiding a serious conversation. Why? It was late at night and one of the rare times they weren't occupied with work in some way.

"Lily seemed quiet when she returned.", she started.

"Yea, when I picked her up this evening, she was just sitting in the corner, playing all by herself, and was happy to leave.", he answered.

"I hope it's just a little shyness that will go away once she gets used to the situation here, she has been through a lot.", the psychologist tried to find an explanation. "I think I'll talk to Mrs. Parker about it."

Deanna picked up on his distraction.

"Will, what's going on? You're not telling me something."

He sighed, and shortly paused. "I talked to a social worker from Risa today, he claims to know about the case Lily Andrews. But I also told him about the radioactive transport we're going to help with, and she says she'll meet us when we're done in the sector, in two days."

His wife leaned forward, she knew what that meant.

"Deanna, Lily is probably leaving us in less than 48 hours.", he added. "And not that I don't care about her as a person, but-if she goes, we might never find out who attacked the Silvershot. Do you think she'll answer our questions about it if we ask her?"

The counsellor shook her head, she was convinced that it would not be a good idea. "No. It was a terrible experience for her that she is not able to consciously deal with yet. And she doesn't really understand what happened herself, it would all be told with the perception of a four year-old. I don't think she even remembers what happened, if we pushed her, she probably would, but it could cause a further trauma. It's too soon."

Will sternly looked at her. "I understand, but it might be the only chance we get. We need to find whoever massacred the crew of the Silvershot, what if they attack again? There's lives at stake here!"

'I know that.' Her inner conflict was increasing like a fire that meets a forest. 'But I also know it would be wrong to interrogate Lily. There's no other rational reason for it, I just KNOW. How do I explain this to you, Imzadi? Will you understand?'

"It is not our mission to examine the incident any further. You know they didn't want US to do the investigation!" 'Protocol, convince him with the damn protocol.', she thought.

"Well, thanks a lot, counsellor.", he spat out in an exaggerated way. "I am aware of that. Maybe it's not our mission to investigate, but it is our duty!"

"Yes, SIR!", she answered equally angry.

He took a deep breath and calmed down a little. Fighting about it wouldn't solve anything. "You know Lily is probably the only connection to these killers. And you also know that Starfleet, for whatever reason, is trying to cover it up, don't you?" There, it was out. Spoken aloud for the first time.

"Yes, I do.", she whispered dryly, crossing her arms. Now that it was verbalized, the hope that they were wrong with their suspicion dramatically decreased.

But they never got the chance to discuss this any further, because they heard screams coming out of the child's bedroom. Within a few seconds, they were at her side, looking down at a yelling, kicking girl, entangled in the sheets.

"Go away…no…don't…"

Deanna immediately sat down on the bed and tried to wake her. "Lily, you're asleep, wake up, it's just a dream!!! Lily!", she grabbed her arm.

The screams stopped and changed into whimpering. Then, the child suddenly sat up, trembling, her eyes wide open and filled with fear. There were sweat pearls on her small face, and she looked around in disorientation.

"It's okay, you're safe. You were dreaming, it was just a nightmare.", the counsellor gently explained. "You're on the Titan with us, remember?"

Deanna tried to put her arm around the little girl, but she flinched at her touch.

"But…but the smoke…", the child replied in a high pitched voice.

"It was a dream.", the woman repeated. She was overwhelmed by the girl's fear and desperation.

"But I was there! I was…", Lily broke off. Tears started streaming down her face, she was shaking with sobs now.

"I know.", Deanna said, her voice filled with sadness. She embraced the crying child and just held her tightly in her arms. "It's over now. You don't have to be afraid anymore. It's over. You're safe here."

William watched the whole scene, standing by the door. He felt helpless, it somehow made him uncomfortable. Though he very much wanted to help, he didn't know how. What was the right thing to say, or to do?

It took several minutes till Lily had calmed down a little bit. She just leaned on Deanna, and no one spoke. After a while, Will had made up his mind and sat down on the bed beside them.

"You should go back to sleep.", the brunette woman finally told the child. "It's…"

"No!", the girl interrupted emotionally. "What 'f they come back?"

"It's a nightmare, not real, they can't hurt you. And if you're not scared of them, they'll leave.", the counsellor remarked soothingly.

"What if they come here for real?", Lily asked.

"They won't.", Deanna assured her. "This ship is safe." She wasn't convinced of it at all, but wouldn't say that to a child. The little girl still didn't believe her.

"Come on, Lily, I'll show you something.", Will finally spoke. He picked her up and carried her across the living room to the entrance area. His wife didn't like the idea of taking her out of bed so she would get even more awake, but let him do it because his idea could be useful.

"See that?", he asked, pointing at a small, black square over the door to their quarters. Lily nodded, and reached out to touch it. Will quickly stopped her. "No, don't. It might send off a security alert."

"A what?", the girl wondered with a confused look.

"A sign to the people on this ship who are trying to keep us safe. If you touch this little thing, it'll probably tell them to come here immediately.", the tall man explained.

"But it's actually there for our security. If someone tried to come inside through our locked door, this thing would beep loudly and immediately tell the security team something's wrong here.", he added.

Lily didn't seem to comprehend fully, but Will knew his explanation was good enough to help a little. He carried her back into her bedroom and set her down on the bed.

"We're right over there in the other room.", he pointed out the door. "Nothing bad can happen." The child nodded half-convinced.

Deanna tucked her in, carefully striking her dirty blonde hair. "Just don't think too much about it.", she advised calmly, knowing that the little girl's thoughts were hardly under her control. Just when she was about to get up, Lily held her back.

"Don't leave yet.", she requested, her dark eyes pleading.

"We have to let you sleep sometime. Alone.", the woman explained in a soft voice. "Alright, I'll stay for a little longer, if you promise that you'll try to fall asleep."

"Promise.", the girl grinned.

All three of them said goodnight and Will left the room to sit down on the couch. There was a lot to think about.

It took a while till Deanna came out of the bedroom. She looked tired and shaken.

"We'll ask her tomorrow.", was all she said.

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_I'm back! I haven't updated in a few days, because I have lots of things going on in school, and I'm sick. So I kept adding a few lines to this chapter every day, and then going back to some of them and changing it._

_There's a lot of dialogue in this one. What do you think of the characterization? How is the story coming?_

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed!!!_


	8. Chapter Seven: The Interrogation

_My truthful reviewer JD11: Thank you for giving me consistent, helpful feedback. I can't wait for your new story to be posted!_

_I'm sorry about the sex change the social worker from the last chapter was undergoing. It had to do with going back and changing things I had already written, first, he was female, but later I decided that he should be male, and apparently I didn't change it everywhere. Sorry! To clear it up: He is a man from Risa._

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The room was crowded. At least it appeared so because of its small size. Yet it didn't have the dark atmosphere of some of the star ship's other chambers. Those present were sitting in comfortable, soft, blue chairs. The walls were as well held in a light, bluish-white color, giving the illusion of a typical terran planet side room during daytime, if it weren't for the lack of things lying around.

Sitting beside, but not around the low table were Commander Ashley Davenport, Doctor Jay'Cel(at his own request), Counsellor Deanna Troi, and civilist Lily Andrews. Despite their attempts to hide it, they still seemed somewhat tense, except for the little girl. She was nervously shifting on her chair, insecure, not knowing what was going on. The three other people, who were occasionally glancing over at her with a questioning look, confused her. Even Deanna's attempts at getting her attention away from it didn't distract her.

Finally, the captain arrived and sat down. "Hello, everybody.", he greeted, in a nonchalant manner that, only if you knew him well, seemed slightly forced.

"Lily, do you know why we're here right now?", he addressed her friendly.

"I came with Deanna.", she shyly replied, after a short pause.

"I know.", he smiled. "But we're actually here to ask you some questions. Just a few things. Is that okay?"

The child nodded and put her hands on the chair, at the sides of her swinging legs.

"How do you like it here, on the Titan?", Will asked, even though Deanna had told him not to beat around the bush because it would make the little girl impatient. But his instinct told him that this would make her feel less…threatened.

"It's nice. But the candy's bad!", Lily grimaced.

"Oh, really?", he grinned. The crew couldn't help smirking at the childish honesty. "What kind did you try?"

"Dunno. The red one.", she described.

"Hm. I'll go check on that later.", he remarked. 'Okay, time to get to the point. How do I put this?', he thought. 'How do I get the truth out of her?'

The counsellor sensed his insecurity and got involved into the conversation. "Lily, before you came here, you were on the Silvershot, right?" It was more of a comment than a question.

The girl's expression sobered, she didn't say anything.

Deanna gently laid a hand on the child's arm. "I know you don't like thinking about it. But something terrible happened there, and we have to find out who did it. You need to tell us what was going on."

Lily just looked at her feet, it was hard to tell if she had even heard the woman's remark. But of course she had.

"Somebody came on the ship. Somebody who wasn't supposed to be there. Who was it?", Deanna continued without hesitation.

"I don't know. I-I wasn't there.", the girl stuttered.

"What do you mean, 'you weren't there'? We found you in the shaft!", Ashley impatiently remarked.

"Commander!", Will said warningly. His first officer had a tendency to get too harsh.

The counsellor tried to speak more softly. But she had to put a bit of pressure on Lily. Although confrontation wasn't usually the way to deal with a childhood trauma at such a young age, it would be necessary in this case. She hoped that this would be the only time the girl would have to talk about it. "Where were you?", she asked.

"On Risa.", Lily answered.

Deanna decided to 'play the game'. "What were you doing there?"

"Playing…with Chee-Lo.", she replied.

"Who's Chee-Lo?"

"A narmero."

"I didn't know they had narmeros on Risa." 'What is she trying to tell us?', Deanna asked herself.

"Chee-Lo is the only one. He's alone.", Lily explained. She seemed to have difficulty breathing, and something cramp-like in her throat.

Deanna, who was sitting closest to her, immediately kneeled down beside the girl.

"Lily? What's wrong?", she asked, sounding scared.

The doctor pulled out his tricorder and scanned the little girl.

"It's okay, you'll be alright in just a second.", the counsellor tried to calm her down. "Try to breathe more slowly…" Deanna breathed deeply, trying to get the child to go along with her.

Will and the commander had got up to intervene if they were needed.

"I can't find anything except for an increased heart rate.", Jay'Cel said.

"Computer, four people to be beamed directly to sickbay.", he demanded, counting that Deanna and Will would come with him. Only seconds later, a transporter beam dematerialised the four of them.

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The doctor had given Lily some medication to help her and run some scans. However, they had shown no results, apparently the child was physically in good health.

"Can you tell me exactly just how you were feeling?", the Andorian asked.

"It was all closed.", Lily described. "I couldn't swallow."

"But I had to, I HAD TO.", she emphasized.

"What was closed?", Will wanted to know.

"My neck."

"You mean your throat?", Jay wondered.

The girl nodded. She had enough of all the questions. All of them kept shooting them at her, wanting to know, needing to know. She didn't understand that they only wanted to help her.

"Does it hurt now?", Deanna asked.

"Yes.", Lily replied. She pointed at her throat and chest area. "There's a big ball in there."

'A lump.', the counsellor thought. It was so simple, yet so complicated. Swallowing cramps were often a consequence of great emotional distress and fear.

"Maybe there's so much in there that wants to come out.", Deanna explained to the child on a simple basis. "If it's all kept in there, the things have to block each other."

Lily tilted her head, but didn't respond in any other way.

The doctor realised that he wasn't needed at the moment, and discretely withdrew himself. Perhaps the girl would talk when there weren't so many people encircling her.

"I have to ask you again.", Will said in an almost apologetic tone. "What happened on the Silvershot?"

Lily didn't return his gaze, but looked away. "I don't remember."

"You have to. You were attacked, and the people who did that might attack others, too. More people could get hurt!", he tried to convince her.

"No.", the girl stubbornly replied.

"Lily-", Deanna sighed. She wasn't sure if the little girl comprehended, but she still told her the facts. "we want to lock those evil people away, do you understand? We need to make the sector safe. And you're the only one that can tell us who they are."

"I don't remember!", Lily yelled desperately. She had tears in her eyes now.

"Okay. That's alright.", Deanna said in a soothing tone of voice and put an arm around the child.

Although it hurt Will, he decided to take the interrogation one step further. "What about Emily Carter?", was all he remarked. Lily looked at him with wide eyes. There was a short pause, and her lower lip began trembling. Then, she started sobbing, crying at the flood of memories. Her body was shaking. Will took the child's smaller hand in his. "Shhh." Deanna let her cry, but tried to calm her down after a little while.

It took a few minutes until the tears had stopped. After a short silence, Lily started talking.

"It was so warm, and full of smoke. Everywhere! I couldn't see, it made me cough.", she mentioned the first thing coming to mind.

"Were you asleep when it happened?", Deanna asked.

The little girl nodded. "It smelled so bad. And it was loud! And Emily was gone!"

"So you left your quarters.", the counsellor concluded.

"Emily doesn't let me leave the quarters. Not alone. But nobody was there!", Lily explained.

"What did you see when you stepped out into the hallway?", Deanna asked.

"Grey and running.", the child answered.

"Grey and running?" Will sounded confused.

"Smoke and running peoples.", Lily added. "They were all yelling. And there was…phases flying around."

"Phaser fire.", the woman threw in.

"And then a man tried to push me to another room. And then-", suddenly Lily broke off.

The girl was looking at the floor, mumbling something.

After giving her some time, Deanna decided to ask. "What happened to him?"

"He got hit by the blue light.", the interrogated one plainly expressed. She started rocking her upper body back and forth. 'Another sign of inner tension.', the counsellor noticed.

"I was looking for Emily. So I…went to the 'chine room. It's close to our quarters. You just have to count eight doors, and you're there. But Emily doesn't let me go there. She says it's no place for children. I'm no baby! I can go there." Lily was getting off the subject again, presenting memories as if they were the present.

Deanna felt sorry for her. She remembered her own father's death, and how she had kept thinking "dad doesn't allow that", or "daddy will be proud when he hears about it". Although it had happened more than thirty-five years ago, it still hurt. She hoped that Lily would be able to forget.

Meanwhile, the child had told them about bodies which had been lying on the floor.

"…more smoke in that room. And Emily.", Lily's expression became sadder. "They pushed me away, to the wall. And then, they came…"

"And they…killed everybody.", Will finished quietly.

The girl didn't react to the last remark. "They were all screaming. And running. And then I saw the hole in the wall, and they didn't see me."

There was a long silence after the girl's last sentence. Somehow, it felt worse to hear it out of a child's mouth than to read every detail in a report. But there was still one last question to be answered.

"Who were the attackers?", Deanna wanted to know.

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_So, who are the attackers? I know, I'm mean, breaking it off right in the middle._

_By the way, if sometimes the period of nothing new being posted is longer than usual, it doesn't mean I forgot. I'm just very busy with school and everything. But I will finish this story!_

_Personally, I don't like this chapter too much. I know it has its weaknesses, but I just needed it to move the story forward._


	9. Chapter Eight: What's a family?

"We finished the transfer of the last portion of re-activated anti-matter. All of our shuttles are on board again. Thank you for your help, Captain.", the young, likeable Commander Santiago said.

"You're welcome.", the addressed one replied. "Have a good flight."

"You too. Santiago out."

They had finally finished assisting the U.S.S. Hawk with their transport of the highly radioactive material. It had taken several hours longer than expected, and the Titan would be late for the previously arranged meeting with Lahera.

"Set course on Risa. Warp seven.", the captain commanded.

The ensign typed something into the console, and they changed their direction. The ship made a small jump when it began flying warp speed, something very characteristic for the Titan.

Every time that happened, Will somehow began reflecting on his time there. It occurred to him that he had been on this ship for almost half a year. A strange thought, his time on the Enterprise didn't appear that distant. But having spent almost fifteen years of his life there, five and a-half months seemed like nothing. It had taken some time to get used to being on another star ship, to get used to being CAPTAIN of a star ship. He did not dislike the new situation, but often missed the Enterprise, especially the people there. The Titan's crew got along very well, they cooperated, were a fine group of officers, and he did have some new friends(even if it was harder now, with him being their "boss"), but of course they didn't have the family-like closeness of the Enterprise's. Sometimes, he asked himself "what would the Captain do?"("the captain" to him was Captain Picard), although they had always been two very different commanding officers.

But he had Deanna, and was thankful for it. He couldn't possibly have gone without her. They sort of depended on each other, and he loved his wife very much.

And, in a way, it was good that they had left. Not only because the change had been overdue, but because the new impressions had also made it easier to forget about their last days on the Enterprise. No, not forget, they never would be able to, but they did move on.

"…Captain?", he heard the ensign's voice.

"Yes?", he replied, startled. Apparently the officer had tried to address him repeatedly.

"Is everything alright?", she asked in a concerned voice.

"Yes…yes, sorry."

"I was just saying that we are going to arrive in the orbit of Risa in two hours and thirty-five minutes.", the ensign reported.

Will acknowledged it, and tried to appear focused. "Don't be a sentimental fool, concentrate.', he thought.

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"I told you to come here, Lily!", Deanna called.

"But I have to make the picture ready!", the girl objected.

"You can finish your picture later. I want you to look nice when we meet Mr. Lahera."

"But the dress'ss ugly!", Lily whined.

"It's NOT!", the woman replied annoyed. "You'll look very cute. But we have to put it on now."

"Cute!", the child wrinkled her nose. Cute was not exactly what she wanted to be.

Deanna grabbed the fabric and went over to Lily, who ran away.

"I am not going to chase you, and you will wear that dress. Come here RIGHT AWAY!" Deanna's patience was exhausted, and Lily noticed it. She came back with an exaggerated look of suffrage on her face.

When she was finally dressed, the counsellor led her to a mirror, and the girl's face lit up. The simple, purple fabric really suited her and she was looking pretty. Of course she wouldn't admit it now.

Deanna helped her comb her hair, and finally let her return to her drawing.

While the woman was still cleaning up, she heard the door chimes. Will entered with a middle aged man, who, she assumed, was Lahera. He was rather short, of darker hair and skin, and had the typical, decorative emblem on his forehead. 'A native Risian.', the counsellor noticed.

Out of curiosity, she scanned his emotions, and found that he was at ease, but curios as well.

"Deanna, this is Mr. Lahera, from the Risian Social Network.", her husband introduced him.

"Nice to meet you.", she friendly greeted.

"The pleasure is mine.", he replied.

"Lily!", Deanna called. "Come here, please!" They heard a quiet noise that sounded like something hitting the floor, probably the pencils.

"I'll go get her.", she quickly excused herself.

"How about we take a seat?", Will offered, a little stiff. They sat down on the comfortable couch, while Deanna quickly helped Lily picking up the pencils she had knocked over.

"Be nice, okay?", the woman whispered.

The child nodded, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "No reason to be nervous.", Deanna said, noticing the gesture.

She took Lily's hand and they went to the living room.

"Hello.", Lahera smiled. "You must be Lily."

"Hi.", the little girl quietly replied. She sat down next to Will, being in between him and Deanna.

"My name is Lahera. I come from Risa. That's where you used to live, too, right?"

"Yes.", Lily answered.

"Do you miss it?", the social worker asked.

The child clearly shook her head. Deanna and Will were surprised by it.

'Either she doesn't remember very much, or she really didn't like it.', the counsellor thought.

"No? That's a pity. It is a beautiful place.", Lahera remarked. "Do you like it better here?"

"Yes!", Lily exclaimed. "It's friendly, there's many children. And we have pets in day-care!"

"Pets sound like fun. I love animals! And is everybody being nice to you?", he asked.

"Very, very nice!"

"You know you can tell me if there's something wrong, okay?", the social worker told her in his uncle-like voice.

The girl nodded hesitantly.

The conversation went on for about another five minutes, but Lahera didn't really get much more out of Lily. He noticed her becoming impatient though, and suggested to play a game. Will found it a little odd, but participated.

"The Council" was a challenging game for a four year-old, but not too difficult. Four different alien races, represented by one player each, had to either compete for a planet, or agree on how it was to be divided. The social worker watched everyone's interactions with each other, but especially the play of the child. He found that "The Council" always showed something of the players' personalities. They went through the short version of it and were soon finished.

"Captain, Counsellor, I'd like to talk to you for a moment.", he finally remarked.

"Will it take long?", Deanna asked.

"Probably a few minutes.", he shrugged.

"Day-care?", she mumbled to her husband.

"Nah, it won't take that long.", he replied.

She went down to meet Lily's eye-level. "Will and I need to speak with Mr. Lahera. But I'll ask Angela to come here, the two of you can play for a while."

Getting up again, she tapped her commbadge. "Troi to McKenzie, are you on duty right now, or busy otherwise?"

The Lieutenant seemed to hesitate for a moment. "No, I'm not. Can I help you?"

"Would you maybe watch Lily again, just for a few minutes?"

"Okay, I'm coming.", she agreed.

Angela McKenzie had been one of the counsellor's patients for a while. She had a teenage son, was very good with children, and somehow always the first to come to mind when a babysitter was needed.

When she arrived, the three others went to Troi's office, since it was the closest place to go.

"Well, I'm here to find a place for Lily Andrews to stay.", Lahera began. "But it may turn out to be more difficult than expected."

"Why?", the Captain asked.

"Let me explain the whole situation to you. She was born on Risa, although her parents were human. They are both deceased, the mother died six months after her birth, and the father never wanted to know anything about the baby, he really didn't care. But it doesn't matter, because he lost his life in an accident a year ago. A close friend of the mother took the child, and tried her best. But after eight weeks, she gave her away, because she just wasn't able to manage taking care of a baby. So Lily came into what you call an "orphanage", since no close relatives were found. It is not a horrible place to be, we have nurses and educators who get assigned to a small group of children and take good care of them. Of course we still try to find families for them, and after three months, we had a young couple. They appeared very eager to adopt her, and we still don't quite understand what happened. All we know is that they got divorced when Lily was only thirteen months old, she stayed with the man, and he…got into some trouble later on-we had to take her away from there only a few weeks later. We got more careful later with who we would let file for adoption. When she was two, she came to her first 'ranhimna'. A 'ranhimna', on Risa, is a family who take care of children for a while, but don't adopt them. Lily's ranhimna were very nice, but they had to take care of six orphans, and after two months, her time there was over, and we still hadn't found someone appropriate to adopt her. After a long time in the orphanage, she came to another ranhimna when she was three and-a half. Unfortunately-", the social worker interrupted, and pondered for a second, frowning. Deanna was able to sense shame and anger from him.

"They were…a bad example.", he tried to explain. "They only took care of the children for the support they got. And they had some problems with keiopheine."

Will and Deanna exchanged a shocked look. They knew about keiopheine, it was an addictive drug that made the senses more sensitive, and could raise the aggression potential.

"The ones taken care of by them had to go through physical abuse.", he continued. When he saw the two officers' outraged expressions, he quickly began defending himself.

"I've never seen a case like that before. It's terrible! The couple was imprisoned.-Lily just was very unlucky. When she returned to the orphanage, she was in a very bad condition. We decided not to try and bring her to another family, but to keep an eye on her there. Until a couple of months ago, when Miss Emily Carter visited us. After verifying her background closely, we decided that she was an ideal legal guardian. But she had to go serve on a star ship and wasn't sure how the situation would develop. Taking Lily with her, she decided to wait before filing for adoption. Our files tell us that last time they were visited on the star ship, the girl seemed very happy there.", Lahera finished his story.

They sat there in silence for a few seconds, thinking about what the social worker had told them. Deanna found it shocking that the so called "Pleasure Planet" appeared to have such a bad social system. It seemed paradox.

"I am personally going to look for a good and stabile home for the child. First, earth is going to be checked for living relatives. If there is no more family, no friends, then we will find someone who really does want to adopt a child. I am positive that we will discover the right solution. But the search will probably take some time, which is why I am telling you all this. Lily has been moved around a lot, and now, there has been a new traumatic experience for her. What she needs is stability. And somehow, she seems to trust you. I read the file, everything about the not-speaking and all that, and it looks like she is in good hands here. Which is why I am asking you if you would be willing to take care of her, until we find a family member to do so?"

Deanna and Will were slightly surprised by that suggestion, but it seemed plausible to them. They only had to look at each other to know that they both agreed, yet Deanna still asked: "What do you think?"

"Uh", Will appeared puzzled for a moment. "Yes.", was all he managed to say.

"We will.", she approved.

He broadly grinned and she felt joy floating through her. It would be a responsibility, an experience…and yet she was relieved. Relieved at the thought of Lily staying with them a little longer. She had been worried about what would happened to her, and knew that her husband was, too.

They would have time.

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_I'm back!!! Wow, that went fast. Uhm, I really got nothing to tell you, and there are no reviews I could respond to (yet?). But I'm not writing for them. Although it is nice to have some feedback, it helps to improve the style._

_I know it seems like Lily is the absolute center of the story and everyone's always like "poor Lily, I feel so sorry for her, let's cheer her up", but in this case, I just had to write it like that. I will get back to the other unfinished plotlines in the story. It's just more complicated than I had originally counted on, the ideas just keep jumping at me and I have no idea how to bring them in._

_So, that's all for today, I'll probably post the next chapter the coming weekend, it's hard to write during the week._

_Hope you're still enjoying it!_


	10. Chapter Nine: Mother knows Best

The social worker had left two hours previously. It was already late evening, Will and Deanna had just finished explaining the arrangement to Lily, who appeared to have mixed feelings about it.

"So I'll have to go away?"

"Not yet, but Mr. Lahera is looking for a good home for you. I bet he'll find nice people who you won't have to leave. You will stay with us until he finds them.", Will said.

"When's that?", the girl asked curiously.

"We don't know when exactly.", Deanna said. "But I'm sure it won't take too long."

"How long is too long?", Lily replied, yawning.

"How long do you think it is?", the counsellor asked back, smiling.

The child looked puzzled, and started thinking. After a few seconds, she had a serious answer. "Two days and ten-four-hundred minutes."

"Maybe.", Will shrugged. "But until then, I think it's time for someone to go to bed."

"Okay, good night.", Lily grinned, waving at him.

"Actually, I meant someone about this tall-", he gestured with his right hand, "and blonde. Have you seen her?"

The girl started giggling. "No."

"Come on, I'll tell you a story before going to sleep." He picked her up from the couch, about to leave the room.

"An exciting one?"

"If your teeth are brushed well." , he replied with a fake sigh. "But didn't you forget something?"

"Good night, Deanna!", Lily bent down and hugged her.

"Good night, sweetie.", the woman answered, beaming.

When they had left the room, she leaned back, everything felt so right. And it was the first time Will had brought Lily to bed.

She sighed, she would have to be back on duty in less than an hour, and he still had to finish the reports he was behind with. There were two blocks of data padd's on his desk.

Resisting the urge to secretly listen to her husband's story, she went over to the replicator to get some hot chocolate.

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Deanna was just returning from an exhausting shift to find Will quickly cleaning up the remains from breakfast.

"Good morning.", she greeted.

"Good morning! How was duty?", he energetically asked.

"Alright. I'm so tired.", she replied, falling onto the next best chair.

"Want something to eat?", he offered.

"Thank you, but sleep and a shower sound much better. I'll get up…in a minute."

Putting the last plate into the replicator, he came back and kissed her. Apparently he really was in a good mood.

"What was that for?", she wondered, smiling.

"Do I need a reason for kissing the ship's counsellor?", he joked. "We haven't exactly spent much time together lately."

"I know, it's just that…", she was interrupted by the familiar beeping that marked the income of a communiqué.

Deanna went over to the computer and threw a short look at it.

"It's from my mother.", she commented.

"Time for the weekly call, I forgot. Uh, I have to go do some work.", Will quickly excused himself. "I'll see you later."

"Bye." With an eye-roll, she approached the button to answer the communiqué. Somehow, Will always had to "go do something", when her mother called.

The face of an elderly(or not, that depended on the point of view) woman appeared on screen.

"Hello, Mother.", Deanna said with her usual quick smile.

"Little One! It's good to see you.", Lwaxana replied cheerfully.

'Oh God. "Little One" again.', Deanna thought. Something made her cringe inwardly every time her mother used that expression. When would she finally understand that "Little One" was hardly an appropriate nickname for a woman in her forties, but rather ridiculous?

"Nice to see you, too. How are you? How are things going on Betazed?", she asked.

"I have been doing pretty well.", the older woman answered. "Although 'things' are rather stressful here. Negotiations with the Roquians have turned out to be harder than expected, they're such stubborn people! They have a very primitive way of controlling themselves, and a huge turmoil of aggressive thoughts."

"Don't read their minds, if they distract you.", Deanna suggested.

"And how am I supposed to know if they deceive me? Oh, well, it's no problem I couldn't handle."

"You work too much.", Deanna replied seriously.

"Nonsense. Do you think I'm an old, rusty woman, who is just going to sit around in her garden, talking to her flowers?", Lwaxana said outraged.

"I really couldn't picture that.", her daughter answered, suppressing her laughter.

"I hope so. How are you, dear, by the way?"

"I'm fine.", was all she replied.

"Fine? What kind of an answer is that? How's William?", Lwaxana remarked.

"I just don't know where to start, there's so much that has happened.", her daughter said apologetically. "Will is doing well, but he's rather busy. So am I."

"You two should take more time for yourselves."

"We're okay.", Deanna uttered.

Then, she began telling her mother about the attack on another star ship, and a little girl staying with them. When she was finished at last, Lwaxana frowned. Although the younger woman hadn't told her directly about Starfleet's orders, and the suspected conspiracy, she didn't like what she had heard and drew her own conclusions.

"I should talk to Admiral Janeia about it, he's a reasonable man! Maybe he can…"

"No.", Deanna interrupted. "I don't think that would be a good idea. You're not directly involved in this affair, and if you talked to Admiral Janeia, Admiral Wilson would be alarmed at the attention all of this is getting. And you couldn't tell him what to do anyway."

"Alright.", Lwaxana resigned, which was something she didn't do often. "But if there are any more of these 'strange occurrences', I will."

The other Troi nodded hardly noticeably.

"So how did Lily describe the attackers?", her mother asked.

"Apparently, the males were rather tall and big. She described the females as medium sized. They also had very fair skin, extremely long hair, and greyish-blue eyes. Their lips are supposed to be browner than ours, and they were talking in a different language."

"I can't think of any race right now who would fit this description.", the Troi matriarch thoughtfully replied. "Although there might be several who do."

"I've already checked the files, there's no compatible data, no reports about them.", Deanna continued.

"Are you going to go back into that sector?"

"We have orders not to do so…right now. But I think we will later on.", the counsellor explained.

"You probably will find out more then.- Just be careful, Deanna, okay?", Lwaxana warned.

"As careful as I can be.", her daughter assured her, smiling.

"So that girl is staying with you and your husband?", the mother changed the subject.

"Until the Risian social worker has found a family for her, yes. We have been taking care of her for a short while, and it's easier that way."

Lwaxana sighed and took a dramatic pause. "Remember when you found that cat? You wanted to keep it very badly, but it belonged to a little boy, as we found out later."

"Well, I was nine years old!", Deanna stated slightly amused.

"Of course, but that's not the point. You WILL get attached to the child, and then you'll be incredibly sad when she has to leave.", her mother predicted.

"Probably.", the counsellor admitted. "But there's nothing I can do about that."

"If you say so."

Deanna was surprised again. It was not like her mother to be silent about what she was thinking.

"You already love her, don't you?", Lwaxana asked matter-of-factly.

"Yes."

Her mother nodded, and for a moment, her face looked old. But only a second later, it had the determined look again.

"How does William get along with her?"

"Wonderfully.", Deanna beamed. "You should see them together, it's so lovely to watch!

"I do believe that. His state of mind is very…adaptive to a child's."

"Mother!"

"That's not only a negative thing, dear!", Lwaxana added.

"He cares about Lily, too."

A bit of small talk followed this exchange of facts, but soon, the younger Troi finished the conversation, telling her mother about having her first patient in less than two hours.

It was past nine o'clock already.

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_Taya7: Danke für deine treuen Reviews! Ich hoffe, du hattest Spaß in der Toskana._

_Hey everyone, so here's another chapter. I've still no idea how long the story's going to be. Ideas that most of the time don't fit in keep popping up. So I keep changing it in my head._

_But there IS going to be an end sometime. Just not too soon._

_Thank you for all the reviews, keep 'em coming!_


	11. Chapter Ten: New Results

One week had passed, filled with a mission involving the examination of environmental circumstances on Chiorey. In a conversation with Admiral Nechejev, Will had heard that an investigation ship hadn't found out much about the Silvershot incident, supposedly. Being on her way to trade negotiations in the alpha quadrant, the Titan had decided to fly through the sector once more. After their quick banishment, they had hardly found out anything in the attack's area.

Almost the whole bridge crew were sitting in their usual chairs, awaiting what would happen, when Commander Saunders made himself heard. "We're approaching a large nebula."

"What kind of nebula?", Captain Riker asked.

The commander typed something into the computer. "It consists of billions of small, ionic matter particles."

"Fly through it.", Will ordered. It wouldn't harm them.

"Captain, what lies behind it?", Commander Davenport wanted to know.

"If my studies on the sector are correct, we are getting closer to three different planets. Two are not inhabited, and the Zifre live on the third one.", the captain informed her. "We are going to take a look at them and examine the surrounding area."

'And hopefully we'll find something.', he added in his thoughts. It was like a familiar, inner coercion forced him to explore. He noticed how tense the rest of the bridge crew were, except for Lieutenant Commander Cazca of course. The Vulcan wore the same, stern look as usual.

"The Zifre are a peaceful people. They aren't very advanced technically, have only now begun sending their first probes to space, and mostly live off of farming. It is very unlikely that they have anything to do with the attack.", the counsellor remarked.

"Very unlikely,", Will agreed. "but we have to be certain before we exclude the possibility."

"Captain, we are out of the nebula now.", a young ensign voiced.

On the large screen, they were able to see a relatively small, red planet.

"We are approaching Selprana IV. It's an uninhabited planet, there is no atmosphere that would tolerate life forms. Although there are independent studies which have claimed that there was a virus found in an unspecific kind of rock on the planet.", Cazca described. "Yet the council of 2136 clearly declared that a virus does not classify as an eukaryote because of its lack of own, organised function."

"Understood.", the captain confirmed. This was going to be harder than expected. "Commander Davenport, it's your turn to do some research on the Zifre and Keiona. Saunders, run some scans for unusual activity on the Selprana's surface, being seismic or climatic anomalies, life forms, etc."

"Aye, Captain.", Eric instantly replied, and began the assigned work..

The first officer seemed unhappy with that decision, and frowned.

"But you said yourself that Keiona was uninhabited. Our orders are to fly to the Klingon Empire for trade negotiations.", Ashley objected. "Shouldn't we concentrate on the Zifre, since we KNOW about their existence?"

"We are flying to the Klingon Empire, this lies on our way. I expect your report on the Zifre and Keiona at 1400 hours, Commander.", the captain ordered, angry at the other officer for questioning his orders.

"Aye, Sir.", the blonde woman obeyed against her own will, leaving the bridge.

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"Hurry up, Lily, we have to go now.", Deanna reminded the little girl, who came running out of the other room just a few seconds later.

Although she was dealing fairly well with the recent events, she hadn't overcome her timidity toward the other children, and daycare was still a problem. Most of the time, she was sitting around by herself, deeply involved in some game. She didn't talk much during the short, playful classes the younger ones had, even though her teacher claimed her to be at least as far as the others, despite her lack of former education.

The counsellor had decided to do something about it, Lily had to be introduced to other children. If she was shy toward a whole group, they would take it step by step.

Today, Deanna would have to do an interview with Lieutenant Cedric Thompson for the crew evaluations. He had a little daughter himself and had agreed to having the kids play together during their conversation.

"Can you make the clip stick in my hair, please?", Lily asked now.

"Sure, come here." Troi fixed the child's hair and assured her that it looked great. Finally, they left the quarters.

"You don't know Melissa yet, do you?"

Lily shook her head once again, she had already been asked that question.

"Well, I've met her once, she seems nice.", Deanna said smiling.

She rang the doorchimes, and heard a muted "come in".

Cedric was sitting at the table, but got up once they had entered. He was rather young, tall, blonde, and pretty tan, with blue eyes and a bright smile. Will would have called him a "surfer boy".

"Hello, I'm sorry, we're a little late.", Deanna apologized.

"Oh, that's fine. Hello, Counsellor.", he greeted friendly. "And you must be Lily. I'm Cedric, it's nice to meet you."

"Hi.", the girl replied carefully.

"Melissa!", Lieutenant Thompson called. A child about Lily's age entered the room, or better, came jumping.

She was short and skinny, with auburn hair and her dad's blue eyes.

"This is my daughter Melissa. Melissa, I'd like you to meet Counsellor Troi and Lily."

"Hello.", she smiled. Deanna and Lily greeted her back. Melissa cocked her head and seemed to "evaluate" the visitors for a moment, which obviously embarassed her father. The woman was friendly, and the girl seemed a little odd. A little odd, but nice. And her daddy had told her to be good to them and play with Lily, because she was new on the ship and didn't know many people yet.

The counsellor broke the silence. "How old are you, Melissa?"

"Four, but I'll be five soon.", she explained.

"Not that soon, it'll be a while.", her father laughed shortly. "Your birthday is in two months."

"My birthday is long away.", Lily told them. To Deanna's relief, she had spoken herself.

"It always seems like it.", Cedric answered. "But girls, we have to get going on some work now."

"Come on, Lily, I'll show you my room.", Melissa suggested, and the children left.

"Would you like to take a seat, Counsellor? Can I get you anything?", he asked, moving to the replicator.

"Some Yanaian tea would be nice, thank you.", she accepted the offer. "Your daughter's a sweet girl."

Cedric smiled. "So is Lily."

'Yes.', Deanna thought. 'She is.'

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The captain was still sitting in the commanding chair. The scans on Selprana IV had shown no suspicious results. Most of the senior staff had left the bridge, since there had been no new, relevant information. But hopefully, that was about to change. Commander Davenport entered, and approached him.

"I've finished my studies.", she informed him.

"Report.", Will demanded.

"It is indeed not possible for the Zifre to be behind the attack on the Silvershot, unless they have managed to keep it a secret from the Federation for years that they are fully capable of building starships and creating weapons of most powerful ability. If that's not the case, they would have had to establish technologically in about three weeks what Starfleet hasn't managed to establish in three centuries. Their cultural background also doesn't support violence and there are no reports of terroristic organisations, or renegades."

"What have you found out about Keiona?", the captain asked.

"Keiona is an uninhabited planet. It is about three times the size of Selprana IV, and has an atmosphere, which does enable the development of life. There are animals living on the planet, but the cold and lack of natural resources has prevented the development of humanoid life.", the first officer reported. "Keiona wasn't colonised because of its environment, the low temperatures and constant electrical storms make the living conditions almost unbearable-Sir, may I suggest something?"

"You may.", the captain allowed, surprised at her asking permission.

"It might be a good idea to scan Keiona, since it's the next planet on our way. It's possible that we will find more information there."

"I agree. Thank you, Commander.", Will replied. 'That's definitely some interesting information.', he thought.

"Ensign, set course on Keiona, impuls seven."

"Course set.", the ensign confirmed.

"Engage.", the captain ordered.

He saw his first officer leave the bridge, and decided to add something. "Oh, and Ashley-well done."

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"…so they got this HUGE aquarium, and her dad let Lissa name all of the fish.", Lily finished her description.

"That sounds like a fun task. I wonder how she can keep them apart though, if they all look so similar.", Deanna replied. "Do you have an idea for that?"

"I dunno.", the girl shrugged, then her face lit up. "I'd color them with oily color!"

"I'm not sure if the fish would like oil colors. Hm, but it's a good idea. Maybe I'll color you green!", the woman remarked grinning.

"No!", Lily shrieked with mock fear.

"I'm not a fish.", she seriously explained.

"I know. But if you don't like it, I don't think a fish would either." Suddenly, Deanna noticed something.

"What happened to your shoes?"

"I made it.", the child proudly beamed. "Lissa gave 'em to me."

Her shoes were covered in glittering, pink stickers. A little too many, which also clashed with her red socks.

"Now, they're princess slippers."

"They sure look like it.", Deanna assured her. "Very fancy."

"Can I wear them to daycare tomorrow?", Lily asked hopefully.

"If you like them so much, you can.", the counsellor allowed. "Are they comfortable though?"

"Yes! They're the mostest comfy shoes ever!"

Deanna could tell the girl was spreaking the truth, at least the truth she was convinced of herself. 'There's another good thing about being an empath.', it occurred to her.

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_It's me again. Thank you for your review, Taya7. You're reviewing every chapter, that's awesome!_

_I just have to tell you guys that I won't be posting anything from October 25th to October 31st, cause I'll be in the hospital that week to get my tonsils out. But I'll post more afterwards, since I don't have to go to school then, which means: freetime_


	12. Chapter Eleven: The Away Mission

"Attention all senior staff members, please report to Conference Room One immediately.", it sounded all over the ship. The ones that were needed jumped up from the computer program they were working on, stepped away from the console, or interrupted their lunch to follow the order immediately.

After a few minutes, everyone had moved to the same place and they found themselves sitting in their usual, blue chairs. The captain raised his voice, stopping their private conversations.

"We have to discuss the upcoming away mission briefly."

"Away mission?", it slipped out of Eric's mouth, his surprise audible.

"Yes. We have reached Keiona and the planet's surface clearly needs to be inspected more closely. There are no obvious anomalies, but since it's so close to the coordinates where the attack on the Silvershot took place, and there is a theoretical possibility for life on the planet, we have to do a more specific examination. You will go down there and look for any presence of a humanoid life form, and any traces of a humanoid life form ever visiting Keiona.", the captain explained. Then, he got up and approached the screen behind his chair at the head of the table. The picture of a greyish-blue, large planet appeared. There was a certain glow about it, like the cold glow of a halogen lamp, only more colorful. An impressive appearance, one could call it beautiful, but of course that was a matter of taste.

Will spent the next few minutes describing the environmental situation that would be expecting them in detail, assigning tasks, basically preparing the crew for what they would have to deal with. It was quite unusual for a commanding officer to do so himself, but this captain liked it best that way. Deanna knew that he hated not being able to go on away missions anymore, with some rare exceptions when he would still find a reason for himself to go.

They would be leaving at 1400 hours, so there was little time for more preparation.

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Finally, all six of them had found themselves in the transporter room. They were wearing thick, black suits which were supposed to protect them from the cold. They had an internal electrical source which took care of giving the clothing a consistent warmth, despite the thinner material the gloves were made of. The away team members' bodies were covered completely in the one-piece overall, including their eyes, and it looked pretty funny.

"Transporters are ready.", Chief Histra reported.

The officers stepped onto the platform, and Commander Davenport gave the order to beam them down.

The first thing they saw when materializing was- white. Just a blinding white, nothing else.

"Uh, Lieutenant Chavelle, are these arctic suits' eye pieces able to darken a little?", Commander Saunders asked. Chavelle had suggested the use of this kind of clothing.

"They are, commander, you can use the exterior control at your left wrist.", the engineer eagerly explained. Everyone on the team immediately tried to figure out the system, which was rather difficult at the blinding light surrounding them.

"Sarah, that doesn't exactly help a lot.", Eric desperately remarked. "HOW do I get it to work?" Lieutenant Chavelle showed them how it was to be done, and the suit actually worked. Yet their eyes still had to adapt to the surroundings.

"If they're made for these "arctic" purposes, how come it still feels so awefully cold here?", Jay'Cel quietly said to Deanna. "Awefully cold" was a complete understatement, it felt like freezing to them.

"The thermo suit needs some time to warm up, but once it has, it will keep a constant temperature.", the chief engineer explained. But she appeared to be stepping from one leg to the other, too, and the counsellor could feel that she wasn't comfortable either.

'Let's hope she's right.', Deanna thought. 'It's icy!'

By now, they were able to see why there was a bright light radiating from the ground: snow. The whole ground was covered with the substance, it wasn't the fluffy kind you sank into, but the crisp sort of snow you were able to walk on, the "iced" one, the "old" one.

The whole landscape appeared bleak and uninviting, wherever you turned, every horizon looked the same: snow hills. No vegetation, no huts, no animals, nothing else was there.

"Let's get started.", was all the first officer had to say, and they began setting up the equipment to run some scans.

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The big view screen was showing the large, blue planet. It seemed illuminated because of the strong color's contrast with the black space surrounding it. 'No, not black space.', Will mentally corrected himself. 'Space without color.' He couldn't help staring at Keiona, wondering what the result of the more thorough examination would be.

Suddenly, Lieutenant Alernia Dragesteo raised her voice. "Sir, our sensors show a quick increase of density on the planet. There's an ionic storm coming up, right in the area the away team is examining." That was definitely bad news. They would have to interrupt the scans, which would cost time.

"How much longer until the storm represents a possible danger to the crew members down there?", the captain asked. Alernia typed something into the computer, and frowned.

"It will be dangerous for them on Keiona in about eight minutes. But captain, I would suggest beaming them up earlier. It will get really uncomfortable down there.", she emphasized.

"Riker to Davenport", he tapped his commbadge. "there's an ionic storm coming up, pack up the equipment right away, we're going to beam you up."

There was no reply.

"Riker to Saunders." Will sounded concerned this time. "Can you hear me?"

When he received no answer from him either, the captain immediately contacted the transporter room. "Chief Histra, get the away team on board right away."

"Aye, Sir." This was not a good sign.

"Is anything interrupting communication? The building storm?", the captain asked on bridge.

"The storm should not interfere with the communication, it is, however, possible. Its intensity has almost doubled in the last two minutes!", Lieutenant Dragesteo sounded surprised.

That was both unusual, and worrying.

"Histra to Riker, I am unable to pick up on their coordinates."

"How can that be?" Will was getting angry. "Continue trying, Chief!"

"The magnetic field is interfering with our scan, distorting it. Sir, the away team can't be beamed up at the moment."

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_Do you like the story so far? A little more action now. But there's not going to be a lack of private life stuff either. Cause these are the parts I like best._

_Thanks for reviewing! I hope that there's going to be more readers though._

_Taya7: Deine Geschichte "Revelations" ist echt toll! Großes Lob an dich! Ich bin zwar noch nicht ganz durch, werde sie aber zu Ende lesen. _

_I know that it took me a while to update. I've just been really busy, school's so stressful!_


	13. Chapter Twelve: Keiona

They had tried to collect the equipment on Commander Davenport's orders, but the storm was increasing too quickly. The grey layer of clouds had thickened, and snow from the ground had risen to swirl around. The wind was strong, and it was hard to see anything at all. As a member of the away team, one had to shout to be heard by the others. On top of that, it was beginning to snow. The only good thing were their functioning thermo suits.

The first officer had constantly tried to contact the Titan, but apparently, their communicators were being disrupted by the storm. Commander Davenport seemed concerned about their position, and she was not the only one.

"We have to find shelter somewhere!", the doctor shouted. It took a great deal of effort to move through the wind and snow.

"Well, if you see 'shelter' here, then tell me!", Eric called back indignantly. The whole situation was getting on their nerves. Deanna felt her own worries mix with the ones she sensed from the rest of the crews, which was not exactly a good cocktail if you had to stay calm. Arguments wouldn't help right now.

"The storm seems to be weaker north from here.", the first officer remarked. "We'll move there, as long as we can."

She started walking with determination, and the others followed her.

"Stay together.", Cazca ordered. "When we're unable to move any further, we're going to lie down flatly on the ground, using our arms to create room in front of our face. That'll keep us isolated from the storm for a few hours." The Vulcan was repeating things everyone of them had learned at the Starfleet Academy, but he'd rather say it over and over again than to lose any of his colleagues. The effort would justify the outcome.

They fought their way through the turmoil of wind and snowflakes, sinking into the ground in places, and the storm was getting worse with every second.

The last thing Deanna noticed was a grey figure, the first officer, lying down on the ground, before she did the same.

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"At last!", Lily exclaimed in an accusing tone. "You're late!"

"I know, I'm sorry. I had to work on something very important on the bridge.", Will explained. Daycare was closing, he had just made it in time to pick the girl up. Although he would have liked to stay on duty to work on finding a solution, he had understood after a while that he wasn't really able to do anything but wait, and he might as well do that in his quarters, taking care of his responsibilities. And he knew that he would be informed immediately if any progress was made. The ionic storm had to be over sometime. He felt bad though about leaving Lily somewhere else for such a long time, as much as he was unrest about the whole situation.

After the first few meters, the child started running ahead, she knew the way to their quarters by now. It was past their usual dinner time.

"Lily!", Will called her back. "What did I tell you about running in the corridors?"

"Oops.", was all she said with a slick smile, jumping up and down in one place, waiting for him.

"Uh-huh, oops." He shook his head. Lily seemed to be a little hyper this evening, it would be hard to get her to bed. He would have to get back to work after a break. It was night, but night on a star ship, which meant that about one third of the people were awake anyway.

They had reached the quarters, and the captain's gaze met a cleaned up living room. Cleaned up-except for the dining table, which was full of coloring pencils and paper. The little girl enjoyed drawing and painting a lot, and they already had a stack of pictures. Some of them had been hung up on the wall.

"Why don't you clean up your art work, and I'll make us some dinner?", Will suggested. "And don't forget to put the pencils back." They would have simple baked potatoes this evening, with a sauce to dip them in.

Lily began hopping from one leg to the other, clearing the table, humming a made-up melody.

"Where's Deanna?", she suddenly asked.

"She's on an away mission that'll take a little longer. Hopefully, she'll be back by tomorrow." There was no need to worry the little one. It was hard for Riker to hide his concern though.

"She won't eat dinner?" Lily sounded disappointed.

"No, she won't." He swallowed, how much he hoped Deanna was alright. Now knowing what was going on was driving him crazy.

"What's she doing?"

"She's examining a new planet.", Will replied, setting the food on the table. They sat down, before he got up again to get something to drink.

"Why?"

"We want to know more about it." He didn't like talking about that at the moment. "Eat your potatoes, they'll get cold."

Lily started peeling off the skin with her fingers, mashing up the potatoes with the dip. She was stirring them, making a mess on her plate.

"Use your fork, please." The girl listened to him, however, her way of eating was still very unique.

"What if Deanna gets hungry?", she wanted to know. This was just too much.

"I don't know, okay?!", he exclaimed more harshly than he had intended to. "How am I supposed to…"

Lily was taken aback, she didn't know that side of him. Her lower lip started trembling.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you.", he immediately uttered in a friendlier voice. She was only a four-year old, this wasn't her fault. He smiled and handed her a napkin to wipe off her fingers.

She calmed down a little, and looked at him, cocking her head. "Are you angry?"

"No, I'm not. At least not at you. It was just a hard day.", the captain tried to explain. He quickly changed the subject.

"So what did you do today?" Her face lit up.

"We learned Bajoran!!", Lily told him. In the classes for the smaller children, they did a basic overview of the most important languages in the Federation. The earlier you started with foreign languages, the easier it was for the kids to learn. When the stricter classes would start, everyone was supposed to be able to have some small, basic knowledge of Klingon, Vulcan, Bajoran, Andorian, and sometimes Betazoid.

"Really? Let's hear it.", Will replied.

"Mekuhta lemara al o'ero.", she proudly said. The captain tried to remember his spare knowledge of Bajoran.

"You mean 'mekuhta lomaro el o'ero'.", he corrected her, smiling. "Nice job! That's a pretty hard sentence."

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At first, she didn't know where or even who she was. Her head and limbs were aching, and so was her back. Actually, it was hard to tell where the pain started and where it stopped. She opened her heavy eye-lids, and began scanning the surroundings. She was in a room somewhere, the light surrounding her was reddish-brown. She was lying on some kind of bed, the frame or which was made out of stone. Yet it wasn't hard, because of its rich coverage in grey animal furr. As she looked around, the memory of the storm and everything that had happened came back to her.

Deanna quickly searched the room, and was relieved when she saw five other "beds" and recognized Commander Davenport, Commander Saunders, Doctor Jay'Cel, Lieutenant Chavelle, and Lieutenant Commander Cazca lying on them. It occurred to her that they had to be in some kind of cave. The walls were lit with electrical torches, at least she assumed that they were electrical, producing a reddish glow.

She tried to sit up, and let out a small moan, because it felt as if a board was hitting her forehead.

"Counsellor?", she suddenly heard Lieutenant Chavelle ask. She saw the other woman get up.

"Yes?"

"Finally, I tried to wake everyone, but there was no reaction." Sarah sounded relieved. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.", Deanna muttered. "And you?"

"I'm alright. But I don't remember how we got here."

"Neither do I. We must have been unconscious for quite a while. Were are we anyway?"

"Looks like we are somewhere underground. There's no force field, but the door over there is locked.", the lieutenant described. "Apparently, our instruments were taken away, I don't have my tricorder to examine anything more closely. Can you sense any humanoid life forms other than us around?"

"I'm not completely sure.", Troi frowned. "I can feel a presence somewhere nearby, yet it's rather vague. Somehow, it's hard to read its emotions, but they are present." It was hard to describe precisely what she felt.

They scrutinized the room, but the two exits didn't have any opening devices, neither was there any computer console. The only other technical instrument they found looked like a frame made out of solid stone. When the engineer examined it more closely, she discovered that it had to be some kind of replicator, using a very different technology from the standard Starfleet ones. Since they didn't have any instruments, it was hard to say more about it.

Concentrated on the strange cave material, Deanna and Sarah didn't notice one of the doors opening, until they suddenly heard a warm voice.

"I see you have come back at last."

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_Sooo, this is the new chapter(duh, I know). Like it? Or not? Tell me! Although it already is the way it is. Once again, thank you Taya7, I appreciate your helpful reviews._

_This story's just getting larger and larger. But I have a plan for it, I know what's going to happen. It's not a crazy, endless story. _

_This was probably the last chapter for a while. I might post another one before monday, if I get around to it, but if I haven't posted anything new by then, it'll take me another week because of the hospital stay. Fun! _

_Well, if not before, I'll talk to you afterwards, the new me, without tonsils. Until then…enjoy whatever you're doing._


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Down here, Up there

They turned around, startled. In the open doorway, there stood a beautiful, humanoid female. She had long, black hair and tanned skin. Her big brown eyes had small, yellowish dots in them, and her full lips were curled into a smile. She was tall and wore a strange, white dress out of a material that seemed to be glowing, somewhat illuminated. At closer regard, you were able to see that the foreigner's fingers were very long and skinny, her ears small and pointy(not at the top like a Vulcan's, but at the bottom), and her skin like thin, sparkling paper, but even without that, she wouldn't have appeared quite human.

"I am Roxhia Tishaya.", she introduced herself in perfect standard English, with an indefinable accent.

"I am Counsellor Deanna Troi, and this is Lieutenant Sarah Chavelle.", Deanna replied, noticing that they hadn't spoken yet. "We are from Starfleet." It didn't seem dangerous to tell the other woman that. She didn't sense any hostility from her, but it was also hard to feel anything else radiating, so they should be polite but cautious. Apparently, the alien was familiar with Starfleet.

"Yes, you are wearing the uniforms.", Tishaya stated.

"Pardon, but what exactly did you mean by 'you have come back'?", Sarah asked curiously. She had been standing around frozen in surprise, but finally said something now.

"You were asleep. We were waiting for you to wake up.", the woman explained with her melodious, low voice. 'Who are "we"? When was this planet settled? How do you know about Starfleet? Why do you speak standard? How come no contact with your race was archived? How do you survive on this planet? Why have you brought us here?' Thousands of questions were going through Deanna's mind. But the counsellor realised that this was not the right time to ask them. They would have to go the long way to find out. Hopefully, it would prove to be effective.

"How did we get here?" A harmless question.

"A few young Hesejk found you outside in the storm. It is safer in here."

"Hesejk?" Lieutenant Chavelle was very interested, but didn't want to seem too intrusive.

"A group of my people, but we will have time to talk about all of this later, when your friends wake up."

"We are very interested in conversing with you, so we can find out more about each other", Troi assured her, "but we must get back to our ship. We haven't communicated with them ever since the storm started." She didn't want to stay inside the cave longer than necessary, the Titan would start a rescue mission.

"Of course, I understand. But the storm will last several hours longer, you should stay here over night. If you don't want to, then go ahead and leave, but it is dangerous out there. We can discuss matters over the evening meal.", Tishaya suggested.

The counsellor and the engineer exchanged a look. It would be good to find out more about this race, but their stay would have unpredictable consequences. Deanna didn't sense a lie from the other woman, apparently she was being honest about the storm. Yet she would have to find a way to talk to the captain…Will.

"Thank you for the offer, we appreciate it.", she answered friendly. "We will discuss it with our fellow officers once they get back to consciousness."

"Of course, the ranks.", Tishaya uttered.

She gave them a small nod, and left without another word. The door stayed open.

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"Captain, the storm is dissolving rapidly.", Lieutenant Mahiko, the ship's major pilot, informed him.

"Scan for life signs!", Will barked. There was a short pause.

"Ensign?", he pressured impatiently.

"No life signs detected.", Rhiko, the Klingon ensign, answered.

"Could the ionic particles still disrupt our sensors?"

"Impossible, Sir." The bridge crew was getting anxious, down on the planet were their friends, their family. Yet they managed to retain the professional façade.

"Kline, do a detailed level three scan. Lapnik, find out if there are any substances on Keiona that could interfere with our sensors.", the captain ordered, composing himself. Without waiting for confirmation, he went to his ready room, quickly "handing over" the bridge to Lieutenant Mahiko.

Will was going to research something himself, something about the way this mission was going was wrong, horribly wrong. It had to be. This couldn't be the outcome.

The captain wouldn't even let himself think about the consequences if the scan had indeed been correct. Nothing was for sure yet.

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They had just finished eating. The dishes had been very unusual, it had been some kind of meat(real meat, not replicated substitute meat) from the Benara, an animal which appeared to be very common on Keiona(the blankets and some of the other persons' clothing were made of Benara fur, too). Underground plants had been served afterward.

So far, the conversation had been very informative, Roxhia Tishaya had given them an overview about their society and explained a lot. Keiona's inhabitants had all come from a far away solar system a long time ago(anywhere between 10,000 and several hundred thousand years previously). The exact history had been forgotten, there were many legends about it. They all seemed to have adapted well to the harsh environment, living underground in a civilized manner. Technically, they appeared to be very advanced, the Titan's crew wasn't able to tell how much exactly they knew and were able to accomplish.

Tishaya was their Roxhia, the highest title possible, their leader, comparable to a queen in the old absolute monarchy. The rest of the society was divided into four groups: The few guardians, who administrated and executed the Roxhia's orders; the small number of Jesv, who were something like scientists/inventors; the Hesejk, who produced goods, treated and served; and the Epamari, the military. Tishaya had told them that which role one was to take had to be determined at his/her birth, it was supposedly decided by genetic factors.

Many questions were still open.

A male servant entered the elegant room with a small stone plate. The walls in this part of the cave sparkled slightly, it was a huge room. The roxhia was sitting at the head of the long stone table, the Titan's away team at the sides in large, fur covered seats.

The male approached Tishaya and bent down, touching the tip of her stretched out fingers with his forehead. It seemed to be a gesture of obedience, the servants were also very quiet in her presence, speaking a few words in a foreign language only if they were asked something.

Roxhia Tishaya took something from the plate, and the servant left. Only now, the others were able to see that it was some kind of insect, and still alive. Covering up their disgust, they watched the gorgeous woman swallow the bug. Although their faces didn't show any emotion, Tishaya seemed to notice her guests' surprise and smiled.

"That was a Goviz, it will survive. Goviz help with the digestion. It's a…" The roxhia was looking for the correct word. "…a symbiosis."

They nodded, "interesting", Eric remarked.

"Roxhia", Commander Davenport started, "there have been other missions from Starfleet to this planet. Keiona, however, was reported to be uninhabited."

"We did not contact the people who came here, Commander.", Tishaya explained.

"So you did know about our attempts to colonize this planet.", the counsellor stated. "But you are not interested in connecting with other races." She wasn't speaking in an accusive tone of voice.

"We were not."

"You do, however, Roxhia, know our language and culture rather well."

Tishaya only kept smiling, and ignored the comment. A gesture which she always used at the unpleasant questions. Deanna sensed her unwillingness to explain anything else, it was frustrating, but over the years, she had learned patience.

"Have you ever made contact with humans before?", Ashley asked.

"Yes.", the leader replied. "But why have you come here?"

"We were in the middle of an environmental examination, when the ionic storm began.", Davenport told her.

"An environmental examination.", Tishaya repeated. At that moment, Deanna believed to feel a mixture of suspicion and relief float through the roxhia.

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"Captain, I have finished the scan.", Lieutenant Kline said.

"Report.", Will demanded.

"There are no life signs on the planet." No life signs. The crew was shocked, even if they didn't express it. There was a moment of silence on the bridge, all you could hear was the beeping of the instruments.

The captain coughed shortly, and tried to appear confident. But the façade was at the edge of breaking down. "Lapnik?", was all he had to say, and the lieutenant answered him. "There are no known disruption factors for our sensors." It sounded finite, but Will wouldn't let it be. He was shielding himself from the unavoidable conclusion. As long as there was one chance, the slightest bit of a doubt, they would keep searching.

"Keep scanning frequently. Lieutenant Mahiko, I want you to calculate the way the team down there could have gone, give me a radius. We might go on another away mission."

He tried to keep his thoughts rational, there were two more things to do: contact the Klingon Empire and inform them about the further delay. They wouldn't be pleased, but there was no other possibility. And contact his superior, asking him to send another ship to Klingon. Telling Starfleet what had happened. Let's hope it would not be Wilson.

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He entered the dark quarters. "Light.", he asked from the computer. Without looking around, Will went directly to the replicator, he somehow felt dehydrated.

"Water."

"Incomplete order. What temperature would you like?", a mechanical, female voice replied.

"Damn it, I don't care.", he murmured through clenched teeth. "8C." The glass cup materialized, the captain grabbed it, emptied it immediately and sat down on the couch. The room seemed so empty. His eyes fell on a picture on the small sideboard. It showed Deanna and him on shore leave two years previously. That day seemed so close, yet so distant at the same time. He remembered everything about it, the smell of the sea, her pink lipstick, how she had lost her blue scarf and they had kept looking for it,…

Suddenly, Will was very convinced that if she was dead, he would know somehow. Maybe it had to do with that imzadi thing which seemed to be so meaningful on Betazed and still was to them, too. Yes, he would know if Deanna were dead. It was the only hope left.

At that moment, he couldn't stand the quarters anymore. Their fillings were full of associations, causing pain.

Quickly, Will left and went down the corridor to "New World", the ship's pub/bar/restaurant.

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_I'm back!!! Ouch, everything hurts so much though. Ah! Oh well, it'll get better._

_I apologize if you think that this chapter is too sentimental and I got carried away, but I'm not apologizing for what I wrote. It is as it is. In this case, the large amount of emotion was justified, at least in my opinion. I mean Will and Deanna have known each other for like twenty years, they're the complicated couple, he would feel pretty strongly about the possibility of her death._

_Thank you for the reviews!!!_


	15. Chapter Fourteen: A rescue mission

"Roxhia Tishaya is hiding things from us, and she has a malevolent plan for actions towards us. We need to leave."

"I agree, but we don't know for sure how exactly this place is guarded. She seems eager to keep us here.", Commander Davenport uttered in a dim voice. "We won't be able to simply walk out of this place unnoticed."

"And we don't know which way to go.", the doctor added. "This appears to be a complex underground cave system."

"We should concentrate on an option to have the Titan notice us. Any suggestions?", the first officer asked.

"They have not done so yet, therefore the two likely options are that this stone contains a material which either blocks the ship's scan, or disrupts the dematerialization beam.", Cazca stated.

"A positronic signal would most likely get past the obstacle.", Eric said.

"Theoretically speaking it would.", Lieutenant Commander Cazca confirmed. "But we do not have any sources for anti-matter."

Lieutenant Chavelle had kept completely out of the conversation so far, she had wandered off to the corner of the room, lost in thought.

"Lieutenant Chavelle", the first officer called, slightly annoyed. "would you care to take part in finding a way to contact the Titan?" 'Like a teacher.', Deanna thought.

"Oh, of course.", she replied a little nervous. She had been caught off guard. "In fact, I am right now." A surprising answer, especially for Sarah Chavelle. She was a reserved type, who usually didn't doubt orders or voice complaint. A little shy, but a perfectionist at work. The counsellor had talked to her a few times, and thought Sarah to have an inferiority complex. But it had improved over the last few months.

"Uh, this replicator is linked to a central network.", she quickly added. "It is using electricity in an unusual way, sending the electrons through at an incredible speed, something a Starfleet ship would not be capable of. The Trihydrochloride is reducing the friction. If we could somehow reverse the direction at one moment, we should be able to create anti-matter, and a short, yet extremely strong positronic signal. The speed at the confrontation would be high enough to cause an impulse. It would not be stabile, but repeating the process would send a periodic sign to the Titan."

The other officers just stared at her for a moment, thinking about what she had said.

"Unfortunately, we don't have our instruments.", Commander Davenport remarked. "To reverse the direction, we would have to create an enormously high, negative voltage."

"A simple tricorder, if it is programmed the right way, would be enough to do that. The only problem would be to get one."

Eric grinned. "How about the old 'playing ill' game?"

"Would they REALLY fall to that?", Jay'Cel mumbled, half to himself.

"They would; if we executed it in a believable way, they would have no choice but react because they can't afford to take a chance.", Troi assured him. "The roxhia wants to preserve our lives- at least for now."

"We are going to do it.", Davenport agreed.

"Now the only question is: Who's the best actor?", Commander Saunders said "sloppy".

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The captain kept staring at the blue planet on the viewscreen in front of him. It seemed so calm, so peaceful, a paradox. And it was there, eternally there, in front of his eyes.

The waiting was worst. He hated his helplessness, he wanted to act, had to. This was his fault, he was responsible for his crew, he had sent them down there, and he'd get them back up, no matter how. What role did it play how bad the odds were? It was only a statistic, everything was possible.

Of course he had verified the risk of sending another away team under his lead(no matter how much the other officers would object to that) down there, but it seemed reasonable. It would be worth the certainty.

"Captain" He was pulled out of his thoughts by Lieutenant Dragesteo's surprised voice. "I'm receiving a positronic signal, down on Keiona. At first, I just thought it to be a computer anomaly here, a wrong scan result, but it's repeating periodically."

"How's that possible? Positronic existence down THERE?!"

"I don't know, Sir. But it can't be a natural phenomenon."

"There's a pattern.", Mahiko added with excitement. "A rhythm in its occurrence."

Positrons didn't just develop by themselves…and then, there was the "pattern".

"Lieutenant, this could be a sort of 'help signal'. Something like that happened on the Enterprise a few years ago on a rescue mission-can you get the exact coordinates?"

"Signal at coordinates 5538.4."

"Lieutenant Mahiko, you have the bridge.", he commanded. This was something he had to verify himself.

He went down to the transporter room quickly, but not to beam on the planet. Chief Histra appeared surprised and straightened his posture immediately, when he entered. "Captain."

"Chief, are there any humanoid structures, any structures at all around the coordinates 5538.4?"

Histra typed something into the computer. "No, Sir, at least nothing I can pick up on."

"Let me take a look at it." The chief stepped aside.

Riker tried to get a finer scan by reducing the fluctuation, an academy manoeuvre he scarcely remembered. But there were no different results. He stepped to the other console, allowing the chief to get back to his place. Then, he did something quite suspicious to Histra: He created a security power field around the transporters.

"Captain, what exactly are you looking for?"

"I'll tell you in just a moment.", Riker mumbled. "Riker to Bray, transfer part of the emergency power to Transporter Room One."

"Captain?"

"Just do it, no time for explanations."

"Aye, Sir." This had to work.

"Dragesteo, are the positronic signals continuing?"

"They are."

The console beeped, indicating the transfer of power.

"Chief, now beam up EVERY humanoid life form around coordinates 5538.4 in a radius of five meters." The dematerialization beam would be able to differ what the sensors weren't able to catch. At least he hoped so.

Blue particles were moving through the air inside the power field, taking longer to fully materialize than usual. But the captain and the chief were able to make out six body forms in them. And there they were, complete, standing erect, looking around in short confusion.

Captain Riker let out a small sigh. "Welcome back.", he managed to say.

Only now, relief overcame the returned away team and showed on their exhausted faces.

Will didn't hold it back any longer, this would be an exception. He went towards his wife, who hugged him immediately. "It's over.", she whispered, barely audible. The rest of the crew had the discretion to look away, although Jay'Cel was clearly smirking at this.

"Any injuries?", the captain asked.

"No, everyone's alright.", the doctor informed him.

"Good. Uh, I'm glad everyone returned safely.", Will shortly remarked. "And I expect a detailed report on what happened down there from all of you."

Their reaction to that wasn't quite so joyful. "Tomorrow.", he added.

"Commander Davenport, you will inform me about the basics in ten minutes in my ready room. After that, you'll get a few hours of sleep, that's an order."

"Aye, Sir.", she replied.

"The rest of you- you're off duty. Get some rest."

Everyone left the ready room, except for Will and Deanna.

"You're stressed and exhausted yourself.", she remarked with concern..

"Not too exhausted. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.", she smiled. "Just a little tired."

"Then go follow my orders.", he smirked. "We'll talk later."

"Aye, Sir."

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_Hey you guys, I'm back at last. But you have no idea how much this time sucked. When I got home from the hospital after six days, the wound started bleeding again, and I had to go back to get it cauterized. When I got home from that time last Friday, the same thing happened again at night, and I had to go back again. Very painful and scary. Everything was messed up, and they had to do surgery again, the whole healing process started all over again. Now, I just got home today. The pain still isn't getting any better. I had this chapter finished almost a week ago, but that was exactly the moment when I started bleeding. Now, I hope that won't happen again!!!_

_Thank you for all of the reviews though. It was a pleasant surprise!_


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Talk about it

The bridge crew was sitting around the long table, talking chaotically, hardly giving anyone the chance to lead an organized discussion.

"I know you're all eager to exchange your theories", the captain spoke up, "but let's first establish a picture of the Keionians…Keiona's inhabitants." The voices quieted down.

"I read all of your reports, but there are still many unanswered questions."

'And an unsolved problem.', Deanna thought.

"Captain, I just found something very interesting.", Cazca uttered. He was clearly the calmest of those present, but that wasn't a surprise.

"Go ahead."

"An ionic storm at this season and at these specific coordinates is impossible to appear naturally."

"Mr. Cazca, we should be careful to call it IMPOSSIBLE.", Will objected. "There are so many variables we are unable to calculate, nearly everything could happen. Are you absolutely sure that the storm couldn't occur as an exceptional phenomenon?"

"Positive, Sir. Keiona's climate simply does not allow an ionic composure like that."

He started to give a detailed technical report on environmental systems that was hard to follow.

"Are you assuming that a foreign force created the storm? That would need immense, technical advancement, and even then, it would not guarantee stability."

"I'm not assuming a foreign influence, I know about it.", the lieutenant commander corrected. "There was a strong force field radiating around the coordinates of the storm, creating an ionic reaction. You could say someone 'built the storm'."

"Someone tried to keep us away from this planet.", Will stated.

"I found something else leading us to that conclusion.", the Andorian doctor spoke up. "The medical check up I did on the away team after our return showed a small amount of a sedative in everyone's cells. It must have been infused 12-18 hours previously."

"Of course", Commander Davenport exclaimed. "That's why we were unconscious for a while. They didn't want us to see where they brought us." A part of the puzzle was fitting together, and it was satisfying to a crew who had been confronted with inexplicable events ever since the attack on the USS Silvershot. Every time a solution had appeared close to them, they had figuratively run against a wall.

"There might be another reason for that." The captain tried to prevent them and himself from jumping to early conclusions. "But it's clear that they're hiding something from us."

"Their social structure is very complex.", the counsellor now explained. "It is hard to say anything about Roxhia Tishaya's exact intentions, but the servants, members of the Hesejk group I assume, were afraid of us."

"Well, isn't it possible that that was just a natural reaction to contact with foreigners?", Saunders asked.

"Part of it, yes. But there was more to it. It's hard to explain…the closest analogy would probably be a burned child's fear of fire, mixed with a great deal of suspicion."

"So we can suppose that they had contact to Starfleet, or at least humans before, but none of it was reported.", the captain summarized. "We also know that they're hiding something from us and didn't want us on Keiona. There's a number of hints which indicate that they had something to do with the attack on the Silvershot, but a clear connection is missing. We have no evidence." At this point, he was right. There still was a lack of facts.

"We also shouldn't forget that there is no clear motive for them to attack a Federation star ship. They could have killed us down there, but they didn't. They were very interested in getting information from us.", Deanna remarked. This was starting to become unnerving.

Jay'Cel frowned, his hand kept rubbing the back of his blue neck, an unconscious gesture which he usually tried to avoid. "What if they fought the Silvershot BECAUSE she was too close to their planet, about to discover what they were hiding?"

"That would have been an unjustified, pre-emptive strike. And it wasn't just an attack, it was a massacre.", Will angrily responded. "But by that logic, there should have been more fights. After all, we were close, too."

"But at first, we did not place a severe danger to them. We were searching without a plan. The Silvershot's crew might have discovered more. There aren't a lot of ships flying through this sector and maybe after this attack, which drew a lot of attention to it, they became more careful. There could be lots of reasons." The counsellor's comment didn't exactly move them forward. All they were doing was establishing theories with the few evidence they had.

The captain thought about it shortly. "It does surprise me that the Keionians did not fit Lily's description of the attackers, physically."

"The girl is four years old.", his second officer objected. "With all of these horrible things happening, she might just have confused something. The situation would have been too much for any child."

"Well, the roles in Keiona's society are discovered genetically.", Sarah finally contributed something. "Isn't it possible that biological members of the military- whatever they are called- just look differently?"

"Race-internal genetic diversions are not reported for any of the known races.", Cazca, the chief of security said.

"But hypothetically, it would be possible that the Epamari have another body structure. It might be of advantage for them.", the doctor stated. "The Hesejk looked slightly different from Tishaya."

"Another one of many possibilities.", Eric sighed. He was verbalizing what the others were thinking.

They talked about their plans for the following few days, instead of continuing with further speculations. This was a long conference.

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Deanna caught Will in the hallway, after he had exited the room.

"Did you tell Starfleet Headquarters what happened?", she asked.

"I did. This contact is not going to stay unreported." He sounded sarcastic, his mood wasn't all too great.

"Good. What did they say?"

"Well, guess who I got to speak with? Admiral Wilson, supposedly no other person was available. They never seem to be. He told me to go on with our missions as planned. They'll 'take care of it'."

"And we are continuing with other missions." It was not like him to give up this fast.

"Deanna, what am I supposed to do? There is no evidence showing any connection between the Keionians and the attack. They did not commit any crime. We have no further material to examine. For now, we'll go on with our other missions as planned. But I swear, as long as I'm captain on this ship, we won't give up on the investigation. We WILL prove the truth."

"You're angry.", she stated.

"Why not? Starfleet doesn't even seem to understand it the slightest bit. They just want to cover it up. The away team almost died." Deanna laid a hand on his arm.

"Nobody died, the mission is over. You did everything in your power, and no one could have done it better. It's not all your responsibility, Will, but you're taking it."

There was a short pause, they had stopped walking, and were standing in the light, grey hallway, with other officers passing by. Finally, he smiled a little.

"Would you please stop analyzing me, just for now?"

"It's my job."

"I know.", he sighed. "I was scared when you were down there." Deanna felt his sincerity, and knew that talking about that wasn't easy for him. She took his hand.

"We knew the risks. We always did."

"And we've been in tons of these situations.", he added. "But it wasn't the same this time." He squeezed her hand shortly and his smile was returned. "I guess that's why they don't like couples serving on the same ship."

"Exactly. But I think the good aspects of it justify the bad."

"Definitely."

"Six months.", she suddenly said. It sounded sort of random.

"The day after tomorrow." He understood. It was a non-verbal communication that functions between people who know each other very well. It touched her though that he remembered immediately.

Unfortunately, the moment was interrupted by an announcement, asking the captain to receive a communiqué in his ready room.

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_Alrighty, here's another one. I know the conference is sort of long and chaotic, sorry._

_Hey Lenni, thanks for your get-well wish, but my leg is fine. The problem is my throat. Thanks for all of the get well wishes._

_Gee, I should try to keep these author notes shorter._


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Watch Dog

Deanna was sitting on the couch with Lily, who was having a counselling session. Troi wasn't in favor of strict sessions for small children, it was more of a loose meeting, and Lily didn't recognize the counselling as such, they were mostly playing. Mainly, Deanna just wanted to be sure that the girl was getting over post-traumatic symptoms.

They had just finished re-acting a scene with figures, when Will entered the counsellor's office.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were still working, it wasn't on your day schedule.", he apologized.

"It's alright, we were just finishing up.", Deanna replied.

"Hi.", the child smiled.

"Hi, Lily. Did Mrs. Parker like your story?" The children had been making up short stories, and Will had helped her program hers into a data padd."

"Uh-huh, she said it has a lot of fancy.", Lily exclaimed. Deanna smirked, it was just too cute.

"You have a lot of fantasy."

"Do want to play with us?", the girl asked.

"Uh, not right now. We'll play later, okay?"

" 'kay. Can I go to Melissa's now, Deanna?"

"Sure. I'll bring you there." Her quarters were just one deck up.

"I can find the way all by myself.", Lily claimed. It wasn't offensive against the grown up woman, but the girl loved emphasizing her sovereignty.

"I know you can, I just feel better bringing you there for now." The child shrugged and put her hand into the counsellor's, moving towards the exit with determination.

"If you could wait a few minutes…"

"Of course, I'll be in our quarters.", Will answered.

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Deanna entered the room, which was, to her surprise, empty. She looked around the corner find him sitting at a small working console, looking over something.

"Will?"

"Hm? Oh yes, I'll be done in just a second."

She shrugged, went back to the living area and started watering the flowers. Her husband joined her a minute later and sat down on the couch.

"I'd like the three of us to do something together.", Deanna started, looking at him over her shoulder. "We could all use a little break from the routine. You have night shift the day after tomorrow, and I could shift around some of my appointments, get a lot of work done tomorrow. We'd have at least a few hours off. Most of all, it's "bring a parent" day in daycare, and Lily seemed pretty bothered by it. She said she didn't want to go, and I think she really means it. It wouldn't do any good."

"Sounds like a good idea to go do something fun.", he agreed, a little absent-minded. "So do you have a plan?"

She sat down next to him. "I thought we could go have a picknick on the holodeck."

"Am I allowed to bring my own, little basket?"

"No, I'm sorry, you can't."

"Aw, and I was so looking forward to that part."

"Oh well, an exception might be possible."

"Alright then." He smiled, but Deanna knew that something was bothering him, the reason why he had come to her office.

"Will, what's going on?", she asked seriously.

"You can look forward to meeting Commander Byron Jenkins, from the central investigation office. He's going to supervise our actions in detail and write a report about it."

"Does that m-…"

"Yes, it does. Starfleet's Head Command is sending a watch dog to 'ensure the legitimacy of our actions'."

They both knew what that meant, and there was no way of getting out of it.

"Just be careful, okay?", the counsellor warned. "They're trying to find a reason to…they may be trying to find a reason to take the command from you. They're looking for mistakes, especially officers who openly object them"

"We got in their way." He was staring ahead blankly. "I just want to know where."

"You know that.", she said quietly.

"Yes, but what's the connection, what do they have to do with the whole issue?"

"We may be able to find that out from the person who wants to tell us least, Commander Jenkins."

"That'll be a piece of work."

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Three bridge officers were present in Transporter Room One, when Commander Byron Jenkins was beamed onboard the USS Titan. He was well prepared to do his job, prepared to being mistrusted and plotted against. This was an important task.

The officers saw the blue light, and when the commander had materialized, they recognized a young, blonde man around thirty in a new, blue uniform. He had green eyes and very white teeth, his smile seemed a little too artificial.

"Welcome onboard of the Titan.", the captain greeted him.

He nodded, looking around not too impressed. "Nice little ship you have." "Little" was a highly inappropriate word to describe one of the newest ships Starfleet had.

"Thank you.", Riker responded nevertheless. "I am Ca-…"

"Captain Riker, I know." Apparently, the commander wanted to get the introduction over with as quickly as possible. Will had disliked the man immediately. He was cocky and arrogant, one of these young officers who had come to Starfleet Headquarters fresh out of the academy and had been promoted too fast.

"My first officer, Commander Ashley Davenport, and ship's counsellor Deanna Troi.", Will introduced the other two.

Jenkins gave them a short nod, then picked up his bag. "I would appreciate if you could show me to my quarters right away, I'd like to start working as soon as possible."

"Commander Davenport is going to bring you there." The first officer's smile appeared to fade for just a small part of a second, but otherwise, she remained perfectly composed.

"If you have a question, you can ask me anytime.", she offered, accompanying him out.

"I've seldom seen anyone so convinced of himself.", Deanna stated, after they were out of hearing range.

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_Hey, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't worry, most things that don't make sense right now will start coming together in the next few chapters. As I already said, long story!_


	18. Chapter Seventeen: What's all this about...

„That is completely irrelevant. You disregarded an order." Byron Jenkins had proven to be stubborn. He did listen, protocol demanded that of him, but he would not hear the captain's arguments.

"The ship was on its way to the Klingon Empire, there would have been enough time left for a short expedition to Keiona.", Riker tried to explain one more time, running out of patience. "If everything had gone as planned, we would have been there for the negotiations in time."

"But you were not, Captain, that's the point." The commander got up and slowly started pacing around in the ready room. It made him appear taller, emphasized the position of the "interrogator". Will was extremely bothered by his arrogant behavior, but due to several warnings, he still attempted to remain calm. He was sitting straight up in his chair, his hands folded on the desk, yet it was not an aggressive, or an "on guard" position. In fact, he enjoyed seeing the investigator's nervous excitement when he wasn't getting anywhere.

"No one could foresee the complications of this mission. There were no signs of a sudden climate change, or an unknown species living on the planet. But I'm sure you already read that in the report."

Jenkins raised his voice. "You didn't only miss important negotiations you were assigned to, you told Starfleet two hours before they started that you couldn't attend because there were some 'planetary interferences' you had no time to specifically explain to us!" Us. He regarded himself as a part of the Head Command. How ridiculous.

"An away team was trapped on an environmentally problematic planet, it was an unpredictable emergency situation. Was I supposed to leave them down there, COMMANDER?" Riker was boiling inside. He was tired of trying to explain everything to an idiot who was only looking for an excuse to kick him out, when he had better things to do. The ties Byron Jenkins put the ship in were unnerving for most of the crew, he just had to comment everything, know everything better. Everyone had hoped for a quick leave, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen.

"Of course not. But the whole situation could have been avoided. Were you assigned to send an away team to examine Keiona?" What a stupid question, the way he asked it was supposed to provoke him.

"No, I wasn't.", the captain answered through clenched teeth. "But I wasn't aware that it is forbidden to set foot on that planet, either." This wasn't getting them anywhere.

Commander Jenkins put his hands on the desk, supporting his upper body's weight with them. He leaned forward, looking directly at the captain. Will didn't look away. Jenkins' voice was almost down to a whisper. "Three weeks ago, you were ordered not to fly through that sector. You can say what you'd like to, give all of your false pretexts, but you and I know that you were just starting some 'private investigation' there, trying to play the hero. But you're only getting in the way of things, because you have no idea of Inugia, or what the situation's really like." Jenkins knew something. Whatever it was, he was fully in it, Riker realized. Inugia? He stood up, too, and looked down at the younger man, the advantage of being tall.

"Then why don't you tell me what it's like?"

"Because it's none of your concern. You're supposed to follow orders, that's the system."

"There used to be a time when Starfleet was about more than that!" 'You're making this way too easy on yourself.', he thought.

"I'm warning you, if I witness one illegitimate action…"

"Fortunately, 'illegitimate' is still defined by the Prime Directive, not by some officers. If you would excuse me now, I have other matters to attend to." He turned around, not awaiting an answer.

"Of course. By the way, Captain, I have the right to go through your logbooks, and I think it necessary to make use of it."

The captain stopped in front of the door and turned around once more, replying an icy "help yourself."

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"Commander Jenkins to Counsellor Troi." Oh no. Annoyed, Deanna tapped her commbadge. Whoever had given that person a communicator?

"Troi here." What did he want this time? Her extra-long shift was just over, and the next day would be off for her. She really could think of something better than having a conversation with Commander Byron Jenkins at the moment.

"If you have time right now, I'd like to talk to you in the conference room."

"Actually, I'm preparing for my next patient at the moment, he'll be here soon." That wasn't a lie, Betazoids never lied. Not even half-human Betazoids did. It was only an exaggeration, the counsellor told herself. Her last patient for the day would be there in half an hour, there still was a little time left.

And Jenkins answered as if he knew that. "It won't take long, I'd just like to go over some things."

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute."

When she entered the room, he was already there, going over some files in the computer that somehow caused him distress. She sat down on the next chair, the one across from him.

He didn't beat around the bush. "The crew is being uncooperative, I'm sure you've noticed that.", he remarked, still looking at the small screen in front of him.

"They are only being careful. It's an intuitive reaction, they don't know why exactly you are here." He looked at her with a hint of surprise. He had expected her to deny it.

"They aren't responding to my questions."

"They aren't saying what you want to hear.", she stated sincerely. "Did you answer their questions?" Jenkins wasn't comfortable with the conversation turning on him.

"That doesn't matter, I'm not obliged to. They, however, are."

"And they fulfilled their obligation." She uncrossed her legs. "You can't ask more of them, if it's not a mutual deed. I can't help you there." He wasn't satisfied with that statement, although he knew there was a true core to it. "What are you looking for here?"

"I can only tell you that orders were not being followed. Is the captain hiding something?"

"No.", she emphasized, directly looking at him. But she knew that it didn't matter what she said as long as it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"I read in your file that you and the captain are married." 'Don't even go there.', she thought.

"That's correct."

"Could it be that that affects your objectivity, or your sense of loyalty?"

"I can assure you that my objectivity, as well as my sense of loyalty are intact." She was still smiling at him, but it wasn't genuine.

"I'm not naïve." He relaxed more and more. "How long have you been serving on this ship?"

"A little more than five months." The counsellor knew that it wasn't new information to him, but decided to join the question game to see where it was headed.

"Not a very long time. But the crew seems to trust each other."

"They got used to the new situation rather quickly."

"I heard that the last captain of this ship left after only eight months."

"She did." Enough small talk.

"You served on your last ship for nearly fifteen years. I imagine it difficult to leave after such a long time." Deanna didn't reply anything to that, she decided to wait for a real question instead, carefully considering her choice of words.

"And after serving with Captain Riker all this time, your trust in him is surely justified. But your first obligation still belongs to Starfleet. It's hard though, isn't it?"

"Mr. Jenkins" She addressed him without his title, just the name. "I'm fulfilling my duty at the best of my ability, and I don't know anyone on this ship who isn't. If there's anything I can help you with, then I suggest you tell me know. And I would prefer not to talk about my private life any more, since it's not relevant for the investigation." A clear statement.

"Alright. At stardate 4382.6, the Titan was assigned to fly to Starbase Seven in the alpha system for a security check up. The time was set, but suddenly, a conflict with the Ferengi occurred. An internal check up…"

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When Deanna entered the quarters, finally done with work, a smell she didn't recognize immediately, hit her. Screaming and laughter came out of the other room, and when she went there, the first thing she noticed was a giant mess.

The cooking area was full of bowls, electrical cutters and stirring utensils, covered in a white powder and splashes of some kind of dough. The floor was even worse, full of what she now recognized to be flour. But both could not be compared to the two figures who had flour on their clothes and in their hair. Someone was having a little too much fun here. A handful of the white powder was just landing on the floor, and Deanna couldn't help thinking of the waste this meant, when she remembered that it was replicated food. At least she hoped so.

But her first shock soon turned into a milder feeling, when she noticed that the room primarily wasn't filled with dirt, but with laughter, and emotions of pure joy hit her. Will and Lily were occupied with some kind of "flour fight" and hadn't seen her yet.

"…you can't get me…"-"…don't be too sure of that…"

It was when Deanna sighed that they took notice of her standing there. Lily, who had just been tickled, was set down, and they both seemed to freeze for just a second, nobody said anything. Troi crossed her arms and looked at them expectantly, hiding her amusement at the look of the two, flour covered figures in the middle of the cooking area.

It was Will who found words first. "We were just…preparing a dessert."

"I can see that.", she replied dryly. "It better be a good one."

"It's chocolate mousse with biscuits.", Lily explained hesitantly.

"We're going to clean all of this up, of course." He was speaking the key sentence.

"Sure."

Deanna burst out in laughter, and the atmosphere relaxed visibly. "You should see yourselves- Computer, take a picture, left hand cooking area, for personal logs Troi-Riker."

"Hold on a moment, computer.", Will interrupted the order. "We don't want to take the picture without YOU." Suddenly, he pulled her towards him, the contact was enough to leave white traces on her clothes.

"Will!"

"Computer, take picture now." And with that, the moment was caught in their personal files, to be looked up whenever they wanted to.

"Are you already done with the dessert, or can I help you with something?"

"Sure. Wait- since when do you enjoy cooking, or baking?"

"William T. Riker, that I usually leave the cooking to you doesn't mean that I'm not capable of it."

"I never said that." He raised his hands in defense.

"We're done with the biscuits, but the creamy chocolate stuff isn't ready yet.", Lily informed her.

"Then we should get going on that, Lily. And just so you know," She turned to her husband once more. "cooking is your hobby and you're pretty good at it, but I have a unique cookie recipe from the captain- Captain Picard."

"Captain Picard is baking cookies in his freetime?" Will sounded half surprised, half amused. He had thought his former superior to be more of an intellectual type. Much more of an intellectual type.

"Apparently. The recipe works. But let's get back to that chocolate mousse."

"It's great to have you help us."

"But the chocolate and biscuits was supposed to be a surprise!", Lily told her in an honesty that could only come from a child. "For the picknick."

"That's so sweet.", Deanna smiled. "You two tried to prepare it secretly?"

"It didn't work." The girl was unable to hide her disappointment.

"That doesn't matter." She put an arm around her shoulders. "It was a very nice idea. And chocolate is always good!"

"One of the great lessons of life.", Will smirked.

They got started on the dessert, and later, Deanna helped to clean up the flour, too. Suddenly, Riker started laughing again.

"So Jean-Luc Picard is baking cookies?!"

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"You know what you're expected to do.",the commander remarked.

"I can't promise anything. What about the captain's authorization?" The man was getting nervous. He was a human from a colony on Utrep, and had just come on the ship a few weeks earlier. This could be a chance, but in the worst case, it could destroy his whole career, or even worse. But what other choice did he have? He didn't want to go back to his home planet, no, everything but that.

"That's why you're supposed to change the code during the 'security check-up'. Don't worry, there won't be any trace back to you, I'll take care of that. Just use the authorization I gave you. Set all files that include the word 'Inugia' on top secret."

He swallowed. "Is that really necessary?"

"He WILL do research about it, I know him. You won't lose your nerves and disappoint us, will you?"

"No-no, I won't. I'll do my job."

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_Sorry it took me so long to upload, but this is a really long chapter. I've been really busy with school work, yep, normal life has come back and hit me. And I got sick again. There'll be more soon!_


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Overload

„Are you done taking the readings?" He flinched, not having noticed Lieutenant Chavelle approaching him. Her voice behind his back had just come out of nowhere.

"Almost." Quickly typing something into the console, he handed a data padd to the engineer without looking up. "I just have to check on quantum flux two and three."

She quickly overread the report, nodding briefly. "Looks like the plasma indicators are all functioning properly."

"Well, if they didn't, we'd probably be dead by now anyway.", Commander Saunders commented dryly as he passed by. The machine room was crowded with engineers and ensigns who were running computer tests. A lot of work was to be done, but the second officer took it easy, although he didn't enjoy supervising engineering and the plasma transport at the same time, since he had to run back and forth between the two rooms.

"Finish it up then, Ensign Bicami, and report to me afterward." She hurried on without waiting for his acknowledgement, a load of tons was just being placed right next to the warp core, where it did not belong at all.

Bicami released the breath he'd been holding and stared at the soothing, blue impulse in the tube in front of him.

"Are you alright?", Ensign Kepok, who was working to his left, asked him.

"I'm fine." He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.

"If you are not feeling well, you should go to Sickbay. I could take over the last two verifications."

"No, thank you, that won't be necessary.", Emilio quickly rejected her offer. "It's just the stress." He forced himself to continue, there wasn't any time to waste.

His Vulcan colleague had already gone back to work. Humans seemed so sensitive to her, almost fragile. When they had a lot of work ahead of them, they started developing negative feelings about it, which distracted them from the work itself. A highly ineffective way of getting things done.

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"Kiara wants to know where we are picnicking."

Will only smiled mysteriously. "She'll see." Kiara was Lily's new stuffed animal, a Valaran terlora. Since Lily had no toys that belonged to her, Deanna and Will had given her Kiara as a present. And of course, the terlora now had to accompany her everywhere.

"You already said that.", the girl complained.

"I'll say it as often as you ask me." Only Will knew where they were going to have the picknick, he had created the holodeck program.

The adults were, as well as the little girl, looking forward to a few light-hearted hours. It felt good to get out of the uniforms for a while.

"Computer, upload program Riker Beta 07."

When they entered, a beautiful landscape showed up. There was a long meadow with red and white flowers on it and green hills with short, soft grass to the left, and a flat area to the right that was lined by trees, which were a little too exotic to come from earth. But the most remarkable image was a lake about five-hundred meters ahead of them. If you had watched it from a closer distance, you would have been able to see that it was bluish-green and absolutely clear, since the ground was not made up of mud, but of smooth, white stones you were able to make out from the surface. Soft waves, which developed through the Southern winds, curled up, only to dissolve on the grassy "beach". There were a few clouds up in the sky, but mainly, it was a sunny day. A sunny day in late summer/early autumn with a weak, warm breeze coming from the lake. It had to be early fall, because there were small, white particles in the air that almost looked like feathers, but really were the remainings of the falling blossoms from the Azieka trees. The sweet scent also resulted from them. Everything appeared peaceful, yet not surreal, not artificial.

Deanna gasped. "Will, that's…"

"…as good as I could remember it." The computer had replicated an area that was all too familiar to her. She had shown him the lake many years ago, on Betazed, it was close to the university. Often times, they had just sat there and talked.

"It's soo pretty!", Lily exclaimed, trying to catch the white "feathers" out of the air.

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"What do you mean, 'someone overwrote the authorization codes'?!", Commander Davenport snapped.

The young girl shrunk about two centimeters. She could see that the first officer was furious, and that was not a good thing to be for a strict perfectionist. What if this got into her personal file? It wouldn't be fair, she had just finished with her education at the academy. And she was only the messenger of the bad news, had been put on the spot. 'Stupid Chavelle, I hate her!'

"The codes have been changed, M'am. The old authorization doesn't work…"

"I understood you, but that's impossible! Head authorization can only be changed by members of the Head Command, and no such change was planned." This was just what Ashley had needed. An inexplicable problem occurring on a routine security check-up under her command, with an inexperienced ensign telling her that her own authorization had been overwritten, and, on top of that, a supervisor on board who was just looking for a mistake like that.

She sighed deeply. "Davenport to Chavelle, I need to talk to you in the captain's ready room, RIGHT AWAY." The engineer quietly confirmed the order.

"Commander Cazca, you had better come along, too."

"Aye, Sir."

Davenport tugged at her shirt in a nervous gesture, she was determined to solve this problem professionally, when she noticed that the apprehensive ensign was still standing there.

"Dismissed, Liriel."

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"Isn't there a security check-up today?", Deanna asked.

"Yeah, just a routine. Davenport is supervising it. I bet Jenkins keeps questioning every single one of her orders, I just hope he doesn't get into the way."

"I feel sorry for Ashley."

Will laughed shortly. "She knows how to deal with him. But let's not talk about work now."

His wife's gaze wandered off to Lily, who was jumping around on the meadow, a little distant from the grass spot where they were sitting. Being so close to the lake was nice, but it also made Deanna slightly nervous. Ever since she had heard about her deceased sister Kestra, she didn't like the combination of children and deep water. This brought bad memories back up, which weren't actually hers.

"She's not even close to it. And we can easily have an eye on her from here." Will had noticed her worried looks to Lily and the lake, and had distantly remembered the old issue.

"You're right.", she shrugged.

"So what's the newest gossip on the ship?", he asked, half joking.

"Nadja Kuchanrov is pregnant." Deanna smiled warmly. Things like that were almost always good news.

"Really? Who's the father?"

"Alceste."

"Who's he?"

"A biologist, has something to do with the experimental genetics program. Nice man."

"Good. Hey, I think I'm getting kind of hungry. Isn't it time for lunch?"

"I guess so." They began pulling out a few bowls with food, and Deanna called Lily.

The girl came running, holding a bunch of flowers she had picked. "Here.", she stretched out her hand. Troi took the flowers, and put them into an empty cup, placing them in the centre of the blue blanket they were sitting on. They knew that the flowers wouldn't be able to leave the holodeck, but that was no reason not to enjoy them there.

"What would you like to eat?", Deanna asked.

The little girl's face lit up. "Chocolate mousse and biscuits!"

The woman had almost expected that answer. "That's for later, for dessert. But we have lots of good food, sandwiches, those balls made out of meat, Javeia, that's a Betazoid dish, and Kratt, a Klingon dish."

Lily wrinkled her nose. "No Klingon food."

"I can relate to that.", Will remarked. He wasn't very fond of Kratt, either.

"Okay, so you'll miss out on that. That means more for me."

"Can I have a bit of that colorful stuff, please?" She pointed at one bowl, and sat down on the blanket. "And Kiara wants a sandwich."

Deanna cut a sandwich in half, and put it on a plate, together with a spoon full of Javeia, or the "colorful stuff". "I guess you and Kiara are eating from the same plate.", she said.

"We're friends."

They kept eating and eating, until they were too full and Lily claimed her tummy would blow up. She had just lay down in the grass and fallen asleep, when Riker's communicator startled them.

"Davenport to Riker." Will exchanged an annoyed look with Deanna, when he answered.

"Is this an emergency?"

"Sorry to disturb you, Sir, but there was a problem with the authorization codes. They were changed for a while during the check-up. An unplanned change, as far as I know. We…we're not sure why, but now, everything is functioning properly again, the codes are the same as before. There's no sign of any anomaly in the computer, all systems are working. An influence from a ship external source can be excluded. Lieutenant Chavelle assumes that the difficulties result from the short turn-off of the main control. It may have caused an overload in the temporal processor, so it couldn't accept any security codes. We're still working on finding out how it happened."

The captain frowned. "Turning off the main control is supposed to cause an overload in the temporal processor?! I know all of us have learned about that possibility once, but that was pure theory. It never happens." By never, he meant that he had never seen it happen. But one way or another it seemed highly unlikely that such a great weakness would occur in a rather new computer system. His instinct told him that there was something fowl about it. But it might just be an unjustified suspicion of his.

"Looks like it did happen this time. It's the only explanation we have. Right now, all I can say is that the evidence points into that direction. And we're working on the verification."

"Do you need me there?" He avoided Deanna's gaze deliberately, although he knew she was looking at him. She wouldn't be very happy about him leaving again, it had happened so often in their rare freetime together. But he knew she would understand if he had to go.

Ashley seemed to hesitate for a moment. "No, we have everything under control. Lieutenant Chavelle is already working on the matter, and all systems are functioning. It's just that Commander Jenkins wanted to speak with you later…"

"Understood. We won't know anything new very quickly. Tell him I'll talk to him at the beginning of my shift."

"Aye, Sir."

"Riker out."

Deanna sensed his discomfort. "What is it, Will?"

"I don't know, it's just that…I have a bad feeling about this."

"What do YOU think caused the code change?"

"I have no idea, really. Oh well, they'll figure it out." He felt responsible for the Titan, but the problem was in good hands, he had no doubt that his first officer and chief engineer were very competent, they had proved it at various occasions. Will forced himself to push the negative emotion aside. He, too, lay down on the grass, blinking from the sunlight.

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"I-I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to…"

"Didn't mean to, didn't mean to…!!", he mocked him, furiously. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I didn't have enough time to download them. I had to speed up the process."

"Great idea! And while 'speeding it up', you didn't even consider for once that it MIGHT cause a systemic overload? Did you even learn something at the academy?!"

The blonde man was pacing around the room, it was not just an immense anger that had got its grip on him, it was also fear. That man had messed up, but in the end, it would all fall back on him, it would be his mistake.

"They think the overload was caused by turning off the main system, just a random malfunction. They'll never find out that I…"

He turned around, his eyes sparkling, his voice down to a hissing sound. "You better pray they won't, because if they do, it was the last program you downloaded…"

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The sun was standing lower at the horizon, it would soon set directly over the lake. Deanna had convinced Will and Lily to learn a traditional dance she knew, but it had somehow developed into random movements and ridiculous jokes. Yet they had had fun, which was the main thing. At the moment, the couple was walking along the "beach", while Lily was stirring the water with a stick, since she believed to have seen a few tiny fish she wanted to catch.

Suddenly, another voice sounded out of a communicator, Troi's this time.

"Deanna, when was I supposed to pick up Lily?" It was Doctor Jay'Cel.

"Around seven. What time is it?"

"Ten minutes after."

"Oh. Well, it would be good if you could pick her up now." The child seemed to get bored of her game.

"Okay, I'll be right there."

"Thank you."

Will raised an eyebrow. "What was that all about?"

"Jay agreed to watch Lily this evening. She already knows, it won't be an issue."

"Okay." He still didn't get the context, the babysitting was news to him. She just smiled at him.

"I thought the two of us might have a nice evening. I know six months is not an actual anniversary, but I still count it." There, it clicked inside his brain. He had almost forgotten about their six months wedding anniversary. It was a joyful memory, of course, but also sad, because it was overshadowed with memories of the other things that had happened around that time. He hadn't been sure how Deanna would have reacted, had he addressed it.

She called Lily, who threw her stick away.

"Jay is going to pick you up now, okay?"

" 'kay.", she said. Will was surprised at first that she didn't make a fuss, but then he noticed how tired she looked.

"You think he's gonna play 'Tschika' with me and Kiara?"

"He might play a round with you, if you ask him nicely. But don't stay up too late!"

Just then, the doctor entered the holodeck and approached them.

"Hello! Gorgeous landscape.", he commented. "Are you ready to go play, Lily?"

"Yes!!"

Will picked the girl up and talked to her. "We'll be back later, when you will HOPEFULLY be asleep, little lady. I know you'll be good!"

"Uh-huh."

"Good night."

"Good night, Will."

Deanna gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Good night, sweetheart." She patted the stuffed animal's fur. "Good night, Kiara."

" 'night."

When the doctor and Lily had left, they turned toward the lake again, just to see the beautiful sunset. The stars showed up in the clear sky, and the two Betazoid moons, one milky white, one bluish, were reflected in the water, a very romantic setting.

For a while, they simply sat there, arm in arm, not saying anything, for there was a deep understanding between them that was past words.

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_I know, I know. Long chapter, a lot of jumping around between different settings, and a cheesey ending. The ideas for specific scenes just kept popping up and mixing like "oh, I want that scene-and that one-and that sentence, but then I need a scene like that-oh, and that one…". I'll admit it, it might be a little random. Oh well, deal with it!_


	20. Chapter Nineteen: To do what's right

The captain strode out of his ready room onto the bridge, and sat down in his chair for the last twenty minutes of his shift. To his surprise, he found Commander Davenport sitting at his left side. It didn't happen all too often that someone was early for the alpha shift. She seemed to be working on something at the computer.

"Good morning, Commander.", he greeted joyfully. "How are you?"

She looked at him in disbelief for a moment. The short, usual nod would have done it, too.

"I'm fine, thanks." He shook his head a little, amused by his first officer's reaction to a simple question. It had startled her as if he had suddenly pulled out a phaser.

"Captain, were there any unusual occurrences during the last shift?" Something had to have happened.

"No, it was pretty quiet. We're still on course for our reparations. We are going to enter the orbit of Nirienda IV in- how long, Ensign?"

"Three hours and forty minutes, Sir.", a dark haired man answered.

"How long if we go to warp two?"

The ensign quickly had the computer calculate it. "Two hours and eight minutes."

"Engage!", Riker ordered. Going on warp speed, the Titan made a little "jump", like it always did. The stars appeared to blur outside.

"And I regret to inform you that Commander Jenkins has decided to leave the ship there.", he told Commander Davenport.

"What a pity.", she replied with a face showing no emotion.

"I knew it would upset you.", he sarcastically remarked.

They sat quietly for several minutes, staring out into space, when Will suddenly stood up again. He had forgotten to do something important. But it would only take a few minutes until delta shift would be over anyway. His first officer might as well take over now.

"Commander, you have the bridge." He went back into his ready room and sat down.

"Computer, show all documents including the word 'Inugia'." Will had remembered a comment made by Jenkins. He leaned back, prepared for a large number of long, boring reports to show up. And so they did, but it was a disappointment. All that he found was "Inugia- Andorian word for 'relief'", "Inugia- a massage technique relaxing the whole body, not only part of the muscles", " 'The Dream of Inugia'- a novel by Karim Osnydir", etc.

The captain changed his request. "Reduce to political information."

The female, mechanical voice objected. "Your request cannot be executed."

"Why?"

"Access to information requires Head Command authorization." Head Command authorization? He was only asking for political information on Inugia which was, he supposed, a planet.

Even though he knew it wouldn't work if the information was really classified, he tried again. "Computer, give me access to the political documents, authorization Riker Beta Alpha 351 Q."

"Denied. Access requires-"

"Head Command authorization, I know." He slammed his fist on the desk. All of this "top secret", meeting his own borders, made him furious.

Yet suddenly, an idea awoke in his mind. He had no idea what problem there could be with Inugia, but maybe someone else did. Riker could immediately think of someone who might know more, or might at least be able to find out more. He would contact him at the moment of their arrival at the space station by Nirienda IV.

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Was now the chance to tell her? Perhaps it wasn't a good moment right before she'd leave for her office, but maybe it would be the only one he would get.

"I checked our messages.", he started. She was busy walking around their quarters, collecting some data padds. He wished she'd stop for a few seconds.

"Anything important?"

"There was one by Mr. Lahera." Deanna's posture seemed to stiffen for a moment, she stopped in her steps. "It was just a short note, no real information incorporated, he says he wants to speak with us in person. He'll come onboard the Titan tomorrow at 1900 hours."

She turned around, and smiled a natural smile. "Well, that's good then. There will finally be clarity about Lily's future." Nothing about her body language betrayed her real feelings, maybe she was just a little too composed. Will knew that it was a mask. Somehow, he always did. She was good at feigning that sort of thing, yet he still wouldn't be fooled by it. Sometimes, her fake-happiness got him really mad. It wasn't easy for him either. These were the times he wanted to yell at her to drop the "I'm-the-calm-and-superior-counsellor" pretense and say what went on in her mind, not what she thought to be the right thing to say.

"She'll be leaving." He had straight out verbalized it, and it hurt. Too big was the temptation to push the thought aside.

"Yes."

"Damn it, just say something!" Deanna only shrugged sadly.

"What do you want me to say? We knew this day would come, and it's good that it didn't take even longer because it would have made everything harder for her. I just hope that Mr. Lahera found a nice family." She fought back the tears which threatened to well up. "I hope they'll be good to her."

Will's impression changed. He wanted to walk up to his wife and embrace her. But he didn't. Instead, he remained seated at the table, and tried to say something positive, something rational. "We'll have an eye on it. They won't be able to bring her into a bad home, not with all of the attention this got. She'll be fine." For some reason, however, that wouldn't make him feel any better. He had come to care deeply about the little girl. But this was not about him. Was he being egotistic?

Deanna came up behind him and put her arms around his shoulders. "So will we. We've always been."

It was somewhat consoling, but it wasn't enough. He took one of her hands. "When are we going to tell her?"

"Tomorrow."

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The Titan had arrived at the space station to get a few minor reparations. It was the first time this had to be done since Riker was in command. A large part of the crew used their time there to visit the space station, but the captain had stayed on the ship.

Ever since he had heard that the Enterprise was, by coincidence, in the same sector, he had waited for a bit of time to contact them. Now, after a few hours of sleep, he was about to open a private channel from his ready room.

Will felt a short rush of joy, when he saw the familiar bridge of the Enterprise show up on his screen. Everything still looked the same, except for the people of course. There were several unknown faces sitting in the chairs that used to belong to others…

Picard was certainly surprised to see his former first officer.

"Now if that is not Captain Riker."

"Hello, Captain." Will smiled broadly.

"How have you been?"

"I've been doing great. The usual meeting of unknown species every once in a while…How about you?"

"Things are going rather well here…As to the meeting of unknown species, I would advise you to get a good ship's counsellor."

"I'll try."

"How is she, by the way?"

"She's also doing well."

"Good. So what is the occasion?"

Will told him as much as necessary, as few as possible. It was basically a short summary from Commander Jenkins' appearing on, nothing about the attack on the Silvershot or his personal conspiracy theories. He asked Captain Picard what he knew about Inugia.

"Ah, yes, the Inugia incident. It happened two years ago on Fepris II. A newly established Andorian settlement called Inugia was attacked, no one survived. There were more than 300 casualties, if I remember it right." Will wondered how it was possible that he hadn't heard about it.

"Who attacked the settlement?"

"It was never fully proved. The Andorians had been warned about the risks of establishing a settlement so close to the neutral zone. Going by the technology of the weapons, the Romulans were most likely behind the attack…But Will, this is not classified information."

"It appears to be now."

"This is certainly strange.", he muttered. Captain Picard was an intelligent man, he was able to see that there was more to the issue than Riker had told him. "There are some things I would like to discuss with you. Are you able to come onboard the Enterprise with a small staff tomorrow?"

Will thought for a moment, then agreed. It couldn't hurt.

"At 1000 hours?", Picard asked.

"Yes. I will meet you at the coordinates 334.78-18.2 ." He would have to use a shuttle to get there, the Enterprise was too far away to simply beam them up, but it would not be too complicated.

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Mrs. Parker had contacted Deanna because she was worried about Lily's behavior. The educator had described it as "changing from minute to minute". One moment, the girl would be playing with other kids, the next, she wouldn't let anyone near her and completely withdraw into her own world. Sometimes, she even got very aggressive. Today, she had started beating a doll and not stopped when Mrs. Parker had told her to.

Deanna had picked her up, Lily had been a little quieter than usual, but besides that, there was nothing strange about her behavior. The counsellor was concerned. She had noticed that the child did sometimes have outbursts of anger or fear, but it hadn't been anything out of the ordinary, considering the circumstances. Usually, Lily was a cute little girl who didn't cause much trouble.

Deanna had decided to give her some time to calm down before attempting a conversation. She tried to focus on some formal work that was due, but had difficulties concentrating. Crew evaluations lay ahead, and she would have to prepare for it sooner or later.

The counsellor picked up the next data padd. "Lieutenant Ezrael Mahiko, Psychological profile: …high sense of justice…extraordinarily strong compassion for other humanoid individuals…possibly problematic in distress situation…"

She stood up, putting the personnel file aside. Lily was feeling frustrated, a mixture of anger and sadness. Deanna decided to go check on her, and entered the other room.

The girl was lying on the bed on her stomach, picking the pink stickers from her shoes.

"You don't want those anymore?", Deanna asked, sitting down on the bed.

"No. I don't wanna be a princess."

"Why not?"

"Princesses are stupid, and they marry boys. Yuck! I wanna be a pirate."

"It would be pretty interesting to live on a ship that's out on the sea.", the Betazoid agreed. "But you'd have to eat rusk all the time."

"What's that?"

"Something that doesn't taste very good, in my opinion." Lily just kept ripping off the stickers, throwing them on the floor.

"Did you have a fight with someone?" She shook her head. "You don't want to tell me?"

There was no reply for a moment, until the child angrily threw her shoe away from her. It hit the wall and fell down on the floor.

"Lily…"

The girl looked away and curled up on her blanket. " 'Lissa's daddy went to parents' day. He brought cookies for everyone. Her mommy lives far, far away, but she talks to her every night. 'Lissa asks why nobody wa- wants to be my mommy or daddy." So that was the problem.

Deanna softly stroked the girl's dirty blonde hair. Then, she starting talking to her gently. "Lily, it has nothing to do with your behavior. I know you were in a lot of different families, and that some of them were really mean to you. That wasn't your fault, it was theirs."

Lily had started crying, mumbling words that weren't understandable. Deanna held her in her arms and gave her a little time, before she tried to calm her down.

"Shh, it's okay. You know what? Mr. Lahera send a message last night. He's going to come visit us tomorrow evening and tell us where you are going to stay. I'm sure he found a nice family for you, perhaps people who were related to your real mom and dad. There's no need to be afraid."

Their conversation went on, but in spite of Deanna's attempts at consoling Lily, she could not answer all of the girl's questions satisfactorily.

"Did you beat the doll because you were sad about what Melissa said?", the counsellor suddenly asked.

"No."

"Why did you do it then?"

" 'Cause I wanted to."

The adult looked at Lily thoughtfully, trying to figure out what was going on.

"She was being bad.", the girl explained. Deanna was just going to ask her what the doll had done in her game, when it clicked in her mind. This was not about dealing with aggression, it was simply learned behavior from empiric experiences. Most concerning was the lack of empathy for other beings the Betazoid sensed from Lily in this situation. The development of this child had been affected more strongly by the terrible experiences than Deanna had assumed at first.

Suddenly, Lily's face lit up. "It's good that I'm leaving. Nothing bad will happen to- to no one."

The counsellor had a bad suspicion when she heard this. "What would have happened?" No answer.

Deanna went down to meet the little girl's eye level. "Do you remember the day the ship was attacked?" Lily nodded, but deliberately avoided looking directly at the woman.

"What happened before that?"

"Dunno."

"Yes, you do." If she became too inquisitive, the girl would shut down.

"Milli told me to stay in the quarters. But I went and followed her, and the guy with the funny hair was with her, and then Milli saw me and got really mad because I sneaked out. And if I do that, something bad can happen." The tears had started falling again.

"Did Emily say that?"

Lily nodded. "And later, soon, everything shaked and she had to go." Deanna began to understand the context. The child had drawn the conclusion of having caused, or at least having contributed to the attack on the ship. An obscure idea of guilt which would be difficult to get rid of.

"When Milli mentioned that something bad could happen if you sneaked out, she meant that something could happen to YOU. You could have got lost, or gone somewhere you were not supposed to go… It's important that you listen to me now, Lily. The attack on the ship, when everything was shaking, had nothing to do with you. You can't make things like that happen."

"But when I do something really bad, something worse happens. Always!"

"What happened when you broke the vase?"

"Uh, nothing."

"When Will had brought you to bed and you got up again to play with those little figures?"

"Nothin'."

"How about when you didn't want to take a bath last night?"

"You made me!"

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"Captain" Will jumped a little, he had been staring out the window in the conference room. He turned around when his first officer addressed him. How long had he been standing there?

"Sorry if I'm…"

"It's alright, you're not interrupting anything. What is it?"

"Lieutenant Chavelle found something you might find interesting. I- I gave her the order not to talk to anyone else about it yet." When Will saw the Commander's hesitation, he gestured her to sit down at the table with him.

"When we were done with the examination after the check-up, and had come to the conclusion that there had been a systemic overload, I had a smaller staff do another level three scan."

"You didn't tell me about that."

"I merely wanted to be sure that the results of the first scan were correct."

"Did you have any reason to assume that they weren't?"

"It was a strange occurrence, and I just had a bad feeling about it."

"Then you should have discussed it with me!"

"You wouldn't have ordered another scan because of an officer's intuition."

"You didn't know that!" Will was angry, his first officer had acted on her own feeling and kept it a secret from him. Yet he knew that he, in her situation, would probably have done the same thing. He'd let her get away with it this time. "It was not your decision to make, Commander! That won't happen again. I expect you to discuss these things with me in the future."

"Yes, Sir."

He sighed and folded his hands on the table. "So what did you find?"

Ashley handed him a data padd showing a table of energy fluctuations. "The authorization was temporarily overridden by the main computer, a ship internal order. Lieutenant Chavelle located the source. We don't know how the authorization codes got into the person's hands, but it was programmed from the machine room."

The captain needed a moment to digest this information. He immediately thought of the arrogant investigator. "Where was Commander Jenkins when the incidence took place?"

"He was on the bridge, annoyi- pardon me, supervising Cazca's actions. I already checked, he didn't enter the machine room until the plasma transport was done, which was around 1820 hours." Will drew the inevitable conclusion.

"An officer…" Commander Davenport nodded in agreement.

It was unbelievable. Apparently, he had a "spy" working on his ship.

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"… 'Goodbye, little wolf.', Johnny said. 'Don't cry, I'll come back next summer.'- 'But next summer, I'll be grown-up. People hunt grown-up wolves.'- 'You're my friend. I promise that I'll never hunt, not anyone, not anything.' And as Johnny left, little wolf had a big smile on his face."

Lily shifted on Deanna's lap. "Read it again."

"I'll read it again tonight, when it's bedtime."

"Read it now, plea-ease." She loved the story, mainly because it was a real book with pictures in it.

"No, I'll have to go to the office soon. But first, we'll take a look at the pictures again."

"But…" Deanna quickly turned the page.

"What's that?"

"A bear! And he lives in a cave." They were looking through the book again, when the counsellor was contacted through her communicator.

"Shriver to Troi."

She tapped her commbadge. "Yes?"

"Counsellor, my mom said that you wanted me to come along with her today. Well, mom suddenly had to take over somebody else's shift and can't come."

"Why don't you come by yourself then?"

"I can't, we have a school project." Clearly a lie.

"Okay, how about tomorrow afternoon then?"

"Tomorrow? I'm not sure…"

"Karen, it's just a simple conversation. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, okay?"

"Yeah."

"At 1530 hours tomorrow?"

"I'll try."

"Good. Troi out." She hoped that the girl would come. Her mother had come to her because she didn't know what to do. Ms. Shriver's 15-year old daughter was involved with an ensign who was nine years older than her. She had forbidden Karen any further contact with the young man, but of course that didn't work.

Lily pulled Deanna out of her thoughts. "Who's Karen?"

"A girl who has problems with her mom."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure, I haven't talked to her in person yet."

The counsellor put the book aside, and they just sat for a moment, while the little girl started playing with her hair.

"I wish you were my mommy.", Lily suddenly said.

For the first time in a while, Deanna was speechless. There was no answer she could possibly think of, and her own feelings confused her. So she just kissed the top of Lily's head, and said nothing, until the door chimes broke the silence.

"Come in."

A little boy almost stormed the quarters, it was only his mother who held him back.

"Lily! C'mon, did you forget about the space station?" The little girl jumped up immediately.

"Hello, Mrs. Kishon.", Deanna greeted. "Hi, Jacob!"

"Can I go now?", Lily interrupted impatiently.

"Yes, you may. But be back in time for dinner!"

"I'll drop her off around 1800.", Mrs. Kishon said, trying to keep her son from touching all of the sculptures in the corner of the room.

"Thank you. Have fun!"

When the the others had left, Deanna slumped back down on the couch. She still had about an hour left till her gamma bridge shift would start, but no thought was wasted on work now. Her hand slid over the old book she had put aside, while her mind was still on the events of the day. "I wish you were my mommy." The sentence seemed to resonate. Had it just been a quickly spoken form in a comfortable situation? But it didn't matter, Lily would be leaving tomorrow, and everything would be normal again. Perfectly normal.

And it occurred to Deanna that she would never have a child. She had missed that point somewhere along the Starfleet career. Sure, Will and her had talked about it a few times, and they had both wanted children. It had been a faint wish, delayed for a better time in the future. But she knew that the right time would never come if it hadn't already been there.

Struck by this truth, all composure, all duty didn't matter. Deanna started sobbing, filled with an immense bitterness against Starfleet, Will, and most of all herself.

Who could even guarantee that Lily would be adopted by someone nice? She did not want the child to grow up in an orphanage…

The door slid open, and Will entered. Deanna hadn't noticed him approaching because she had been too occupied with herself. Now, she could hear his steps in the other room, which was only separated from the living area by a short wall on the side.

"Deanna?", he called. She was probably at her office, yet he felt an urge to tell her about Commander Davenport's discovery and the meeting scheduled for the next day as soon as possible.

Will hated crying. Deanna raised her hands to wipe the tears away, but decided otherwise instantly. It would be useless anyway.

"Computer, loca-"

"I'm here."

The tall man went to the living area. "I thought you'd still have to- what's wrong?" Concerned, he approached the couch.

"I've been thinking a lot in the past few days, about us, Lily, the future…and I noticed that a lot of 'what if's appeared." She paused shortly, trying to find the right words to continue. "Perhaps it's time to stop hanging on to dreams and start acting."

He had no idea where this would get them. "Deanna, what's the problem?"

"I don't want Lily to leave."

"I'll miss her, too.", he quietly admitted. "And I can't say I haven't thought about-well, keeping her here. But that wouldn't be fair if this was just some kind of panic about missing the boat."

"'Missing the boat'?"

"If the decision were only made out of fear of never having children. We could still have a baby."

She shook her head sadly. "Of course, theoretically. At some hypothetical time in the future…isn't waiting our favorite thing to do?"

"Don't turn this into a conversation about the past again." His hands rubbed over his face for a moment in a tired gesture.

"Then don't use it as an excuse. This is not about 'missing the boat'. I don't want Lily as a replacement for a baby! She's happy here, and I think that's something precious. We could give her good home. I am sure that I love her, and", she hesitated for a moment, "that I would like to adopt her. The question is: what do you want?"

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_At last, I'm done with this chapter!! It took me so long, everytime I started writing I typed about three sentences before having to leave and study for a semester exam, go to school, etc. The next time I read what I had written before, I didn't like it anymore and kept changing it around. There were so many versions of this chapter, I just couldn't decide. I also did some research on attachment problems, but didn't really find anything apart from what I had already known. So I apologize for any possible factual mistake occurring in this chapter. This was definitely the hardest to write, although it probably doesn't look like it._

_Okay, no more excuses , author notes are not to be considered while judging a piece of writing. Hope you still enjoyed reading this! If not, that sucks for you because it means that you really wasted a lot of your time on reading this. _


	21. Chapter Twenty: Decisions

He felt completely overrun. "So you've basically decided already?"

"I've decided for myself, but my solution can only work if you decide the same. And you have to do so regardless of my opinion, because this is something you have to stand behind, something we can't compromise on. We're not talking about buying a new bed." There was a short pause, and contrary to his usual behavior, Will didn't say anything at all. He had to let this sink in for a moment.

"And if you don't want the adoption, then I will- accept that.", she added more gently.

'Liar.', he thought. Maybe Deanna wouldn't argue with him about it, but it would be something that would stand between them forever. William didn't want such a disappointment to ruin everything they had just established, but it would be wrong to adopt an innocent child to save his marriage.

On the other hand, the thought of Lily being their daughter became more and more appealing to him. THEIR child. He would be a father. Was he even qualified for that? With aversion, he remembered his own father. How much of Kyle Riker was in him? Will had pondered about it many times, but this time was different, it was concrete. Lily was not the abstract baby somewhere up in his head, but a real person. His heart went out to the little girl.

He turned towards his wife, who had been looking at him all the time, trying to read his mind.

"It's a huge commitment, especially if it doesn't go well."

"Yes. And of course it wouldn't be perfect.", she replied. "It's a great responsibility."

"Sure." But in Will's imagination, he had already fallen prey to romantic illusions. Playing with Lily, laughter, shore leave on Pacifica, the touch of a smaller hand in his, teaching her Ka-Chi-va, cooking, showing her Alaska some day,… A bunch of possible situations, like school problems and curfew fights with a teenager welled up in his mind. Its charm was devastating.

Deanna smiled, squeezed his arm lightly, and stood up to leave the room, giving him time to think. But he held her back by grabbing her hand, and got up himself. "Looks like we're gonna have to get a new bed for the little one after all. The provisional one won't do."

"Are you sure?", she forced herself to ask, holding back her excitement.

"As sure as I'll ever be.", he grinned. "We'll make it work." His joy couldn't have been stronger.

And Will didn't need to be an empath to see that she felt the same way, too. Still, it almost caught him off guard when she gave him a passionate kiss.

Yet the computer voice disrupted the perfect moment once again. "This is the ten minute reminder."

"Perfect timing, as usual.", Deanna sighed. She seemed to have been interrupted a lot in the past few hours.

"The ten minute reminder for what?"

"My shift."

"Are you serious?"

"Does the captain of a star ship not know the time the shifts start?", she teased.

"The captain doesn't need to know. That's what the other officers are for."

Suddenly, he turned serious. "Wait a moment."

« What's wrong ? »

« There's something I have to discuss with you, Counsellor. »

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The Enterprise's conference room was filled with a small staff of officers. Captain Riker had decided for his first officer, the chief engineer, and the counsellor to come along. Picard, on the other hand, had Commander McGillen and Worf take part in the conversation. Apparently, he had not been promoted any further, but stayed the Enterprise's security officer. Instead, they had gotten an outside officer as a "replacement" for Data, as Will thought bitterly.

Kate McGillen was an attractive, self-confident woman in her early thirties. She had emerald eyes which showed liveliness and enthusiasm, and her light brown curls barely touched her shoulders. The pale skin was set through with a few, faint freckles that only seemed to underline her vivaciousness.

'The exact opposite of Data.', Riker stated mentally.

'She sure had a hard time at first, taking over this job.', Deanna thought.

But the mixed feelings about their return to the Enterprise soon became secondary, when certain obscure events were discussed.

"The great destruction and display of brutality was devastating.", Captain Picard informed them.

Worf's grim face was filled with anger, as he spoke through clenched teeth. "It was the most dishonorable kind of warfare. A typically Romulan act of…"

"Mr. Worf", his captain interrupted him calmly. "there was hardly any evidence suggesting that the Romulans were the attackers." He had well known that the Inugia incident would stir up his security officer's deep hate against them.

"Is the cowardice this murder was committed with not an evident proof?"

"It's enough, Worf.", Picard threw him a short, stern look. "We understood you." The Klingon was silenced, although his abhorrence was still obvious. Will had always admired Captain Picard's skill to remain calm in any situation and still be respected, even though he had thought him to be too stiff, especially in the early years of his command.

"It would be very helpful if you could give me access to the technical information about the weapons that were used on the Inugia settlement, Sir.", Lieutenant Chavelle remarked.

The Enterprise's captain nodded in Commander McGillen's direction. "The main part of the village was shot from some kind of star ship, using a weapon which functions through the heat-contact concept. Traces of trilithium were found on the ruins, so the weapon was probably of photonic nature. Getting in contact with hard matter, an immensely strong heat was produced, which led to explosions in many cases. But I'm not an engineer, maybe Commander LaForge could explain this better." The four officers from the Titan listened in surprise.

"That won't be necessary.", Riker replied. "We are familiar with the concept. It's the very same one that was used on the attack on the Silvershot a few weeks ago."

"Which attack?" Jean-Luc Picard frowned, this was news to him.

"You weren't informed about it?"

Will started telling a short version of the previous events. When he had finished, there was a repressing silence in the long room, until McGillen broke it.

"The people who attacked the settlement were also the attackers of this ship, and Starfleet's trying to cover it up for some reason." This woman was certainly direct.

"It would be pre-eminent to say so.", the captain of the Enterprise objected.

"There is enough evidence leading to that conclusion." Deanna had listened quietly up to this moment, but could not do so any longer. "Our assumption is justified, regarding the classification of the information, and the ship internal betrayal."

"Yet it is still an assumption." Picard folded his hands in a thoughtful gesture. "I do believe you, but if there is anything to be done against the-still unknown-enemy, we need more evidence."

"Captain, there's an urgent need of action, the Federation is endangered!", Worf exclaimed.

"You're right, but we can't go around shooting at every possible enemy who might target us.", Will stated.

"So we're just going to sit around and wait until they'll shoot us?" The Enterprise's second officer was glaring at him. 'She has to be one damn good officer if she got this far in Starfleet in spite of her big mouth.'

"No, Commander. I've already started the search for the person who overrode the authorization, and there will be several interrogations on the Titan.", Davenport informed her. "There's also a number of suspects who we suppose to be involved in the…conspiracy."

Worf and McGillen looked disbelieving and unsatisfied, Chavelle apprehensive, Troi and Picard merely thoughtful. In the end, they still weren't one step further than they had been at the beginning of the conference.

"The reason…", Deanna mumbled suddenly. Noticing the other officers staring at her, she extended her statement. "We have spent the past hour going over every tiny detail of the numerous murders on Fepris II. Most facts did not appear relevant so far, yet the two attacks have a lot of things in common. Therefore, there wouldn't have been any reason to classify information on the Inugia settlement, unless there was an important discovery made there which would replenish what we already know. Maybe an additional information on the attacker, a political crisis or something like that… I suggest we list the things present in the Inugia incident which were not obvious in the Silvershot investigation."

"Like the trilithium.", Chavelle added.

"Unfortunately, trilithium is used to build the majority of all weapons, it is found on a large number of planets…there's nothing unique about it." Ashley didn't see any obvious evidence.

"Some personal documents survived the attack. We should examine them closely, and start right away." Captain Picard stood up to give a clear sign that the conference was ended. "Mr. Worf, if you would transfer the files to the Titan's board computer."

"Aye, Sir."

As the officers were about to leave the room, Kate McGillen approached Will. "Captain Riker, I have heard much about you in the past few months. I'm glad to have made your acquaintance, finally." The superior officer didn't quite know what to think of that comment, it came as a surprise.

"My pleasure.", he answered. Watching her walk away, he had to admit that she was sort of nice after all. Will traded a wondrous look with his wife and ship's counsellor, who simply shrugged and turned away, smiling.

"You are welcome to stay on the Enterprise as long as you'd like to.", Captain Picard offered friendly, out in the hallway.

"Thank you, but the Titan should be fixed up by now. We have to get back." It was hard to withstand the temptation urging him to stay at his old home for just a little longer. He especially regretted not having greeted Geordi. But duty called once more…

His former superior nodded understandingly. "Those ships don't wait. How is it, by the way, having your first command?"

"It took some kind to get used to it, but it's great now. The Titan is a wonderful ship."

"Of course she is, nothing ever exceeds being a captain for the first time. I still remember my first ship as if it was yesterday…" His face took on a soft, exceptional expression.

"How did the new officers integrate into the old crew?", Deanna asked curiously, changing the subject.

The old man sighed. "It was quite a problem, as we had expected. They weren't exactly welcomed warmly. To be honest, I was probably the worst at giving them a hard time. But we accustomed to the situation, and they are accepted crewmembers. Although none of them will ever replace the former ones even closely."

"Don't expect too much of them.", Troi requested. "They have to find their own way of becoming good officers."

Picard smirked. "I knew you were going to say that. Always the counsellor."

They had reached the end of the corridor. "I would like to accompany you to the shuttle bay, but we are already behind on our schedule. If you'll excuse me now…I have a bridge to attend to. I will contact you if we find out anything else on the Inugia incident."

He took Will's hand into a firm handshake. "Thank you.", Riker uttered gratefully.

"There is nothing to thank me for. Good luck, num- Captain."

Deanna kissed Picard's cheek lightly. "Goodbye.", she said warmly.

"Until we meet again."

As he disappeared into the turbo lift, the remaining two officers went into the opposite direction towards the shuttle bay, where Davenport and Chavelle would await them. Perhaps they hadn't found out much new information, but an instinctive feeling told them that this stay on the Enterprise had been an important step. Yet they had no idea just how important this day would become.

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_Hope all of you had a merry Christmas!! And just in case I won't have uploaded anything new by then: A Happy New Year to all of you!!!_

_Thank you for the helpful reviews._


	22. Chapter TwentyOne: Slow Approaches

The office seemed to become warmer and cozier with each minute that passed, dulling her senses more and more. Deanna took a sip of her coffee, which, as opposed to the replicated beverage, contained caffeine. She wasn't a big fan of the bitter liquid, but it really seemed to help blow the fatigue away. Still, no progress worth mentioning had been made.

The counsellor was reading through a deceased Starfleet Commander's personal logs, he appeared to have been quite regular at keeping track of his life. It was about the only document which had been preserved entirely. But apart from a very difficult relationship to his ex-wife and a delicate affair, Troi hadn't found much information. Tired of reading about the bartenders attractivity over and over again, Deanna skipped forward a few days. Her alarm bells immediately went on when she saw an entry titled "Stealing our land".

_"April 14th, 2379. I thought we had got rid of them, I was really naïve enough to assume that they wouldn't return again. Apparently, I was wrong, the last trade didn't satisfy them. Well, I wonder if those bastards will ever be satisfied. This morning, we noticed a ship in the outer stratosphere and only a few seconds later, five persons beamed down(at least I assume they were beaming them). Without permission._

_They introduced themselves as Hajak, Gonsu, Lewkita, Rinfe, and Karpo(it's a miracle I remember their names, I'm not sure about the spelling though). Lewkita is a guardian, the other four of them are clearly Epamari, you can tell by their looks. She demanded(oh yes, demanded, not asked) to speak with Mr. Celon. I told her that I was the Starfleet representative on this planet, and that she'd first have to approach me. The tall one, whose name I believe to be Rinfe, told me to back off in a rude manner and said that the guardian would only talk to our "leader". That led us into a discussion about them respecting our rules, until Mr. Celon came outside because someone had informed him of the incident. Being friendly as usual, he invited them inside. _

_At least I was allowed to attend the conference. And I was not surprised at all when they revealed their historical claim on this planet once again. Supposedly, they have finally found a way to prove that they originally came from here. To me, the scientific facts looked pretty fake and didn't show enough evidence that their home ever was Fepris II. And even if it was, they abandoned this planet thousands of years ago! There are no ties binding them here. We, however, have just accomplished stabilizing this settlement, have managed to become independent from Starfleet's transport flights of goods. It is not only the first Andorian settlement out here, it's our home(not that I want to stay here forever). You know, I understand that the Keionians are trying to find their roots, but they can't claim this land based on a few vague evolutionary facts which lead them here!_

_I know Celon is thinking about offering them a bit of land way up North from here. But I'm pretty sure that once they get that, they'll want more, so I advised him not to do so right away. I don't like the thought of not being able to solve this alone, but we informed Starfleet, and they can be here in two days. Hopefully, the Federation will find a way to settle this."_

Deanna gaped at the text in front of her. A quick glance to the date confirmed her worst suspicion: The entry had been made on April 14th, the day before the devastating attack.

* * *

"It's not like they're gonna look under the couch for dirt.", Will remarked with amusement.

"The living environment is important to form a first impression.", she said emphatically. "And since most of this mess belongs to you, I'd suggest you help me a bit more." Joking was his way of covering up nervousness, but she knew that he felt the same anxiety she did. What if this conversation went the wrong way?

"Dee, we really should leave now. Don't you think being late will leave a worse impression?" He let his gaze wander across the room. This was not what he considered a "mess".

"We aren't going to be late, since we have precisely eight minutes left."

"Six minutes."

She sighed and pushed him into the direction of the door. "Okay, let's go."

They left their quarters to pick up the social worker from the transporter room. Chief Histra turned around. "Mr. Lahera just informed us that he's ready to beam up, Sir."

"See?", Will muttered. He nodded to Histra. "Do it, Chief."

Particles of blue light showed up on the pod, when a rather short man materialized. His outward appearance was not intimidating in any way, yet he had a determined, insistent look on his face. Perhaps this was a way to compensate his size. He stepped down, and approached them. Having exchanged a polite greeting, they went into a currently unused room to talk.

"Unfortunately, my news is not exactly pleasant.", Lahera started directly. "We did an extensive research, but without success. Lily Andrews does not have any living relatives, both grandparents are deceased, and so is her only uncle. Apparently, there are no family friends who are willing to give her a home either."

Deanna let out the breath she'd been holding. Contrary to the social worker's belief, this was good news to her. It was sad for Lily of course not to have any blood relatives, since she would probably never get much information on her biological parents. But at that moment, Deanna made a promise to herself that Lily would have good parents, a good family. At least she'd do the best she could for it.

Mr. Lahera didn't quite know how to interpret his two opposite's quietness. "For now, I will take Lily back to the Kahana City orphanage, where she'll be in good hands. I'm positive that we will find a family who are willing to adopt her, a lot of young couples come to Risa just for that purpose."

"…or she'll continue going from one bad foster home to the next!", Will snorted angrily.

"I assure you that that will not be the case, I am personally going to take the responsibility for it."

"Mr. Lahera, we appreciate the effort you're making to ensure her a good home, but there never is a guarantee for that. If there are going to be more abusive scenarios, more abandonment, Lily is on her way to develop a severe attachment problem.", Counsellor Troi tried to explain.

"I understand your concern, but I can't do more than I just offered. There is no other solution."

"Actually, we were going to suggest one." Will exchanged a look with his wife, who confirmed it with a small nod. "We would like to adopt Lily."

The other man raised his eyebrows in surprise. It had been clear to him that it would become hard to get the girl away from them, but he hadn't known that they would have the will to take that step. "Have you fully considered this?"

"Yes, we have.", Deanna uttered. Lahera was able to tell that they were serious. There was nothing else to do for him but to ask them the questions he would ask everyone. He leant back in the midnight blue, cushioned chair.

"Adopting a child is a decision made for life. You cannot withdraw of the responsibility when problems occur, and there will be severe problems. Taking on parental accountability is a hard job, it will change your whole life. Why do both of you want to do it?"

* * *

"Cadet Linton?", a demanding, female voice sounded through the machine room. "Linton!" Patrick jumped, he had identified the voice as a superior officer's…what was her name again?

"Yes, Lieutenant?" He got back up from the ground and showed himself. His neck and back muscles hurt awefully, sitting on the floor in a bent posture was not exactly comfortable.

"Are you done with that?" The young woman, to his surprise only about five years older than himself, gave him a scrutinizing look, noticing the pearls of sweat on his flushed face. A short feeling of pity welled up inside her, she could well remember her own time as a cadet.

"Yes, Sir, but I still have to send electric signals down the left, inferior side wire to stabilize the connection for later impulses."

"That's alright, we'll wait with the test until console four is alternated.", the lieutenant ordered. "But I need you to bring this report to Commander Davenport, tell her these are all the officers possible for the specific time span." The cadet threw a glance at the data padd, but it didn't show anything without authorization. "Oh, and Linton, I want you to assist Lieutenant Mahiko in the upcoming chemical plasma analysis." With these words, they parted, Partick embarking on his way. The analysis would certainly be interesting. Perhaps, they would let him pursue his own scientific projects if he did well at it.

He was rapidly pulled out of these thoughts by two of his crewmates bumping into him in the hallway.

"Hey, Pat!", Sergej Zeiler, a fellow cadet, greeted him. "We were just on our way to 'New World'. Do you want to join us?"

"I can't, I'm still on duty. Got extra hours today."

"What are you working on?", Ensign Bicami asked with interest.

"Nothing special, just playing the messenger again.", he laughed. "Dropping off a report for Davenport."

"Why aren't they just sending it up there?"

"I have no idea, maybe it's some top secret thing! I just got this padd with names to deliver."

"Names?" At that, Emilio pricked up his ears.

"Forget about it, it's not promotion time yet.", the young Ukranian smirked.

'What a nervous guy.', it occurred to Patrick. But on the other hand, the ensign had already accomplished what they were still working for: being stationed on one of the best ships. "Do you have any idea were I can find the first officer?"

"I think she just left the bridge to have a little talk with the doc.", Sergej grimaced. "Have fun."

"Why?", he frowned.

"You'll see…"

"Well, I'll see you later." Patrick moved on, slightly confused. His friend had been on this ship for a little longer, since he had arrived three days late for the internship-a great start, of course.

On his way to sickbay, he met two female officers, one a tall woman with a blonde ponytail, the other-an ebony skinned, shorter person-recognizable as the chief engineer. Approaching them, he noticed the three pips on the blonde officer's neckline, and concluded that this had to be Commander Ashley Davenport.

"-from the _Estrella di mare_. It reached us only yesterday, and to say that they were not pleased about our delay would be euphemistic. Is there any way we can speed up the process?"

"Not without risking an overcharge of the anti-matter complex, Commander."

Linton didn't quite know what to do, he could hardly interrupt the conversation of two senior officers. For a moment, he was merely standing indecisively in the middle of the corridor, until the first officer turned her head, realizing that they were being observed. "Yes?"

"Commander Davenport?"

"I would think so." She threw the man a questioning look. Actually, he seemed more of a boy than a man, a boy of approximately 19 years of age, who appeared slightly intimidated.

"Cadet Patrick Linton, Sir. I was ordered to deliver this report from the machine room."

She took the data padd from his hand. "And what is this that you're meant to 'deliver'?"

"A list of names from Lieutenant…Grmek, Sir, naming all officers worthy of consideration for the specific time span." The commander immediately grew more interested. "I don't know what exactly…"

"That's fine, there's no need to tell me what you don't know. Dismissed."

* * *

They were standing right in front of the educational facility. Lahera had proceeded with his standard questions for another two and-a half hours, analyzing their living circumstances, social background, plans for the future and more, some details they had had to tell him appearing rather intimate. The Risian had expressed concern about their job and working hours, he did not like the thought of giving a child into a Starfleet family. Yet this seemed to be the only obstacle that could prevent him from giving his consent to the adoption. Now, he had finally thought it best to talk to Lily herself.

The three adults entered the children's area, feeling like giants at once. It was a lit, friendly place, radiating warmth and comfort. This was the daycare center for the younger children, who had settled down on the floor, playing with toys, or were sitting at the computers or at the tables, working on something. Some of them were running around, involved in some wilder game which only they were able to understand.

"Are you coming to pick up Lily?", Mrs. Parker asked.

"Mildred, this is Mr. Lahera, a social worker. Mr. Lahera-Mrs. Parker.", Deanna introduced them. She was looking around for the little girl, and was finally able to make her out sitting on the floor, playing with Melissa and a boy-Alejandro, she believed to be his name.

"Mrs. Parker, would you have a few minutes for me later on? I would like to ask you some questions.", the Risian requested.

"Of course, I will be finished here in an hour and twenty minutes."

"Thank you." He scanned the room with his eyes. "Where is the girl, by the way?"

"Lily!", Will called. "Please finish up, it's time to go!" The addressed one finally took notice of them, waved, and turned back to her friends.

"How long has she been attending this kindergarten?", Lahera asked.

"I think it has been around five weeks."

"Is she enoying it?"

"She is, much more than at first. Excuse me." Mrs. Parker turned to two boys who were audibly fighting over a mini star ship.

Deanna went a few steps farther past the painted, see-through wall which came after an entrance area. "Come on now, we really have to go. Clean up your toys, please."

Yet it took another couple of minutes until Lily said something to her two playmates, and ran towards Deanna. "Panumi says that on earth, there's sharks that have 3,000 too-I mean teeth. Is that right?"

"I don't know about that, it sounds a lot. Who is Panumi?"

"It's a GAME. You press the 'decide plate', and then it tells you things and you have to know if they're right…There are trees that grow 120 metres high, did you know that?"

"I saw some of them in North America a few years ago."

"Wow. Is 120 metres really high?"

"Oh yes, very high! You can hardly see what's at the top of those trees, they are very impressive. But we'll talk about that later, okay?"

It was only then that the girl took notice of the two men standing in the background. She beamed at Will, but remained where she was standing for a moment. Deanna put a hand on her back and approached them. "Lily, you remember Mr. Lahera, don't you?"

"Hi."

"Hello, it's nice to see you again.", the social worker greeted friendly.

At last, they left the daycare center. The taller of the two men, who had been untypically quiet, went ahead, having a lively conversation with the child.

"How many orphanages do you work with?", the counsellor asked Lahera.

"Three, but I am mostly responsible for the one in Kahana City.", he explained. "By the way, I still need an outside contact. That person cannot be a relative or someone under your command, and I would advise you to choose someone who knows you well."

"Yes." She did not know who would become their "contact" at the moment, but assumed that they would have a few hours at least to think about it.

They stopped in front of yet another small, unused room. "Lily, I would like to talk to you a little more. I won't take long."

The girl looked up at them, slightly sceptical. "It's alright, honey.", Will smiled. "We'll wait here for you."

* * *

Ashley was typing numbers into the console, she had been doing so for nearly an hour, trying to calculate the most effective course to get to Nibba III with as few delay as possible. Of course she could have let an ensign do it, but it made her feel better to solve this herself. Frowning, she leaned back in the command chair. With an estimated ten hour stay at Fepris II, they would still loose about two hours.

The truth was that she did not agree with the captain's decision to fly to the planet, even if their previous position had been conveniently close to it. To her, it appeared like a waste of time. She knew, however, that her superior officer had gained additional knowledge, which had changed his mind. Her loyalty and trust were out of question, but still…it was disturbing that he didn't tell her what was going on, didn't confide in her. Had not she earned a higher estimation than this?

"Ensign, approximate arrival time in standard date!"

"Tomorrow at 0723 hours."

Something else was bothering her more than their trip to Fepris II though: the list. There was no way getting around it, she would have to set up interrogations without creating a big stirr-knowing that this was virtually impossible. There was no way of keeping a secret from 843-no, 840 people. They did not know anything official of course, but the wildest rumors would be spreading soon. 'It's gonna be fun.'

* * *

She was sitting in the clean, lit room. Had she ever been here before? Everything looked so alike on this ship. The cushioned chair was midnight blue. Why didn't they have anything in a different color? Red would have been pretty. Or pink. Or orange.

Her eyes wandered back to the strange, but friendly man with the funny emblem on his forehead. He was staring at her, and she hated it. Maybe he'd stop if she just continued looking at her brown shoes.

Lahera opened his mouth. "I will get some Vipfk for myself, are you thirsty? How about an orange juice?"

"No, thank you.", she answered politely. Deanna always told her not to be rude.

The weird man moved over to the replicator and got a cup full of dark green stuff.

"You have been staying here for almost five weeks now. How do you like it?"

"A lot.", Lily replied quietly.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. You know, I used to live on a star ship for a while, and I didn't enjoy it at all. There's no sun, no trees, and no houses. Everything is so small."

"But I saw trees, many trees, and the sun!"

"Really?", he frowned for a moment. "Oh, you probably mean one of these 'holodecks', don't you? We didn't have those back then. We didn't have that many children on the ship either…I see you went to kindergarten here. How did you like that?"

"It's fun, Melissa and Aly go there, too."

"Are they your friends?" Lily nodded. "Overall, were people nice to you here?"

A hesitant "yes" was uttered as a confirmation.

There was a short pause. "You know, it's important that you are being honest here. If there's a problem, you need to tell me, so we can find a way to solve it, alright?"

"Sure." She started playing with her hair nervously. For some reason, the man started smiling. It was strange. He looked nicer when he did that though. The girl smiled back, just a little.

"How do you like Deanna Troi and William Riker?"

"They're really nice."

"Could you tell me some more about what makes them so nice?"

Lily thought about it for a moment. "Uh, they don't say mean things. Deanna reads good books and Will tells good stories, and he's funny. And they bring me to bed-but they make me sleep when I'm not tired."

Lahera laughed. "Most adults do that, Lily. You need to go to bed early enough or you will be tired the next day…where do you stay when they are working?"

"At daycare or with Melissa. Or with Jay'Cel, sometimes."

"Who is he?"

"The doctor. He has good games." She watched the Risian write down something, shifting around in her chair impatiently. "Can I go now?"

"Not quite. I want you to tell me some more about a normal day. You get up, and then…?"

* * *

"Davenport to Riker", a clear, female voice disrupted the silence, making Will jump.

"Go ahead."

"We just received a priority one communiqué from Nibba III, Sir. The environmental situation has drastically worsened over the past few hours, they need the aggrocalvis bacterium as soon as possible."

His expression changed from apathy to concern in merely a second. "Is the Titan the ship closest to the planet?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Has Doctor Jay'Cel finished the genetic transformation of the bacterium?"

"Not quite, the hybrid plasmides have been produced, but the clonation will take another four hours."

"How soon can we be at Nibba?"

"In three hours and thirty eight minutes at warp eight."

"Set course on Nibba III, Commander. Warp nine."

* * *

_I apologize for not posting anything in two months, but I have been really busy. Starting stupid excuses here now would be pointless, but let me just name the words "exams", "drama", and "choir"._

_The next chapter will be posted WAY sooner(I hope)._


	23. Chapter TwentyTwo: Delayed

After one final, sad wave, the two individuals vanished into a mere sea of blue particles. Chief Histra decently left the room, mumbling something about an ineffective plasma indicator.

Deanna was still struggling to keep herself from bursting out in tears, and her husband looked quite shaken, too. For a moment, they were just standing there, looking rather helpless. Still, they had handled the situation pretty well, she had to admit. Only that this was nothing to be glad about, was it?

It was all about the formalities, stupid, useless formalities. No requests, no logical argumentation had helped. Mr. Lahera had been obliged to take Lily with him until the final decision would be made. This was Risa's law, and it was there to protect the children. Rationally, she knew all of that, yet it had seemed heartless in this case. If they became her legal guardians, it would only be for a while(how long "a while" was, the social worker had not been able to tell them). But what if not? What if this had been a goodbye forever? She did not even want to think about that possibility. After all, Lahera had told them that he, personally, was in favor of the adoption. So they did have good chances. Unfortunately, he was not the only one making the decision.

Deanna could not erase the previous scene from her mind, the crying, the useless attempts to calm down the four year-old. They had tried to explain the situation to Lily, and of course it hadn't worked. The counsellor could not help feeling guilty about it. She had attempted to appear calm and re-assuring in front of Lily, but that hadn't made it any easier-besides the fact that she had lost against the burning at the back of her eyes.

Now, there was a bizarre silence in the transporter room, except for the regular, quiet beeping of the computer.

Will put his arm around her. "She'll come back."

His wife was going to reply "or not", but let it be, remembering that this situation was equally hard for him. It would not help to be pessimistic about it. So she simply embraced him, saying nothing.

After a few seconds, he broke away from her, taking hold of her hand. "Come on, let's go."

They left the transporter room, walking through the grey corridors, automatically towards the bridge.

She suddenly broke the silence. "What if she doesn't?"

"We'll fight for it, get a second opinion, do whatever is necessary."

"But what if-"

"I don't know, Deanna." His expression sobered. "I just don't know." She had not seen him this resigning in a while.

They entered the turbo lift, each taking a few seconds to regain professional composure.

Davenport got up and started giving a report right away. "Captain, we are currently flying through the Anthix nebula, no interferences so far. Our arrival time at Nibba III has been estimated at 2103 hours, so we have less than 140 minutes left. The bacterium, however, will take another three hours to be synthesized, that's as far as the doctor could speed up the process. The ambassador of Nibba III has sent us a notification to inform us once again of the urgency of the situation. The oil field on the planet is covering around 60 of the ocean now, more than two thirds of the sea life may die if _we_ do not arrive in time." She handed Riker a data padd. "I have set up the…discussion for 0900 hours tomorrow morning. Here's the list."

"Good." He only threw a quick glance at the four names. "Dismissed."

"But Sir…my shift is going to end in fifteen minutes anyway."

"I know, I'll take over now though. Get a few hours of sleep, Ashley."

"What about the transfer of the safety containers? I have to supervise the bacterial…"

He looked at her sharply. "Commander, get-some-rest! That's an order." Deanna couldn't help smirking at the first officer's confused facial expression. Will was right with his decision though, Ashley really did look completely exhausted.

"Aye, Captain."

* * *

"Nice job, Jhevel." He leaned back in his chair comfortably, the anxiety finally washed off of him.

"Thank you, Sir." The young man was looking very pleased with himself.

God, how he hated those ambitious boys who kept sucking up to their superiors in hope for a promotion. They were weak, cringing worms that could be smashed with a wave of his hand. Entirely dependant on him, they did not know anything of real life. Coming here full of enthusiasm and thoughts about honor and duty, a shining career which would get them respect, they soon realized that this was not as easy as they had thought it to be. And then-then, after a few times of speaking up, they comprehended that this was not the way things worked. Instead, they started adapting, shutting off their own brains, following the head at the helm blindly. Stupid, they were, ridiculous, they were, not even knowing that he was able to see right through them and use them as he pleased. His "servants" were not to expect any gratitude, life had shown no fairness to him either. It was not about a small individual like Jhevel, but about the system. They were like young dogs snapping for a sausage in the hands of their master, unaware that he would raise it the higher they tried to jump. He was the one in power. This was the only thought to curl up his lips again and push aside the annoyance about the young man standing in front of him.

"He won't talk, will he?"

"Who?"

"The prime minister, of course. And please don't say you offered him goods, I don't want him as a future oppressor."

"Well", the redhead shifted uncomfortably, "I did give him the license for free use of the trilithium deposits on the Omega 3 moon."

"You did what!", he shouted.

"I- This was the only way to convince him, Sir. He will not dare to raise more demands now. As soon as they do so, we will 'discover' them mining the natural resources, which is a violation of the Federation's alliance with Nibba III."

"Good plan in theory, but you should have consulted me before the execution, idiot!", he hissed. "Of course Starfleet ships are going to patrol the Omega 3 moon regularly, they will find out about the new mining activity right away!"

"Then we'll just give them the plans, Admiral! It doesn't matter…this exchange solved two problems at once for us. The Keionians have become too aggressive lately, they're an unnecessary nuisance, the trade is not worth it anymore. Now, with Nibba III controlling additional sources of trilithium, they are going to contact them. Our territorial and informational profit has not been too great lately anyway."

"Jhevel, do you even have any idea what this means? The Keionians will be forming an alliance with Nibba III! And we'll have nothing, not even the tiniest damn economic advantage to control them." His fingers kept twitching nervously.

"The Federation…"

"Ignorant boy!", he laughed dryly. "The Federation isn't even aware of the Keionians' existence, except for Riker, who we will have to watch out for."

Jhevel's face was shining with sweat while the old man kept scolding him. "Sir…"

"Oh, shut up." His head fell forward into his hands, while he was taking a minute to think, breathing heavily.

Just when the younger one was about to leave because he supposed the admiral had forgotten about his presence, the former spoke up again, much calmer. "Did this at least give the Keionians enough time?"

"Yes, Admiral. It will give them at least twelve hours, which is more than enough."

He sighed. "Keep me informed, Jhevel."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

"Commander Saunders, what's the state of the transport?"

"Completed by 82, Captain."

"Riker to McKay"

"McKay here"

"How are you doing down there?"

"We're doing our best. The transport from the basis to the ocean is working, however, a bit more cooperation from the population would help us greatly."

"Are they blocking the shuttles?"

"Not exactly, but they're not helping either."

"Please be more specific, Lieutenant." This didn't sound good.

"Well, frankly Sir, the people are messing up more than they are doing right, but that's not the real problem. The government is not allowing us to cross military territory, meaning we have to take a way around the mountains. This increases the distance by about 900 kilometres."

"I'm going to talk to the prime minister about it. Just keep going with your work. Riker out."

This was a strange way to welcome helpers in an emergency situation, Will thought. But from his experience with political leaders, he was used to much worse. "Cazca, open a canal to the government building- try to get through to Prime Minister Palerzo's office directly."

After a few seconds, the wrinkled face of a middle-aged man showed up on screen. His eyes were grey and positioned higher than a human's would have been. The big, round nose somewhat resembled an okapi's smelling organ, only that the end of it was directly grown to the mouth, with nostrils creating holes on the inside of his upper lip(which was why he had to curl it up if he intended to recognize a scent). He had no hair, and his head and teint were yellowish.

"Hello, Captain.", he greeted in a strong, foreign accent. "I hear the mission is going well. In our planet's name, I want to thank you."

"It is still too early for that now, Prime Minister. Let's hope everything will work out as planned. Have you received our environmental aid protocol to prevent future catastrophes?"

"Yes, and we have read it with big interest. But I do not think these regulations would be good for our world's…our world's…"

"Economy?"

"No, our world's…scientific progress. All experiments would be delayed."

"I understand that, Sir, but it would be very advisable to take on stricter environmental policies.", Riker emphasized. "The next accident may not end as lucky as this one. Are not the lives of Nibba III's citizens more important than quick scientific progress?"

"As I said, I am going to discuss a resolution with the five government representatives, Captain. We appreciate your support."

"I'm glad to hear that you will consider it." He knew that Palerzo wasn't going to change the law, but what else were they to do? They could not force him to pass restrictions to protect the environment.

"Is that all?", the man from Nibba asked.

"Not quite, Prime Minister. Our away team tells me that you are not allowing them to cross military territory. We respect that wish, but we are not here to observe your military technology. The aggrocalvis bacterium needs to reach the place of action quickly, or the oil is going to spread even more. The rescue mission would progress much faster if you let my people take the shortest way."

It was obvious that Palerzo was about to object, when a woman entered the room for long distance communication and said something in a foreign language. He only replied a few brief words, dismissed her with a signal of his hand, and turned back to the Titan on his screen. "I am giving you access to all lands, you have permission to fly across. I will have my guards told right away."

"Thank you."

The prime minister tapped and bowed his head shortly with his left hand in a traditional gesture of approvement, and cut the connection.

"He sure is a tough one.", Will remarked half to himself, before tapping his commbadge to inform McKay of the positive development.

Having done so, he noticed Deanna's absent, discontent impression. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not quite sure, it's hard to express in words. Something about this situation is not the way it appears to be, it's…disproportionate."

"In what way?"

"Well, seeing the danger their planet is in, you would expect people to be afraid, concerned, or angry-to have at least some kind of emotional reaction to the crisis. Some do show concern, but not as if this is a severe problem.", she explained. "They are almost like actors. The only one to feel fear is, strangely, Minister Palerzo. Yet instead of hoping the help will succeed, his emotions towards us are hostile, and he is hiding something."

"Yes, I did notice his strange behavior, he might have a lot of secret, military technology he doesn't want to share with his allies. But couldn't it be that the population of Nibba III just has a different attitude towards the environment than we do, or that they are misinformed of the situation? Maybe their set of emotions are different, too, which would explain their peculiar reaction."

The counsellor did not look convinced at all. "Maybe, but…there's more to it. Their feelings are not that different from human ones. They do have the same potential, and their instinctive reactions are very similar to ours."

"I believe you, but- no offense, a few strange feelings a Betazoid sensed do not count as evidence. It will give us no means to put pressure on them, for now. We'll keep a close, sceptical watch on them though. Something about this situation IS not right." He got up from his chair, tucked at his shirt, and took a close look at the green, blue, and currently black planet on screen. "I just wish I knew what he is up to."

* * *

Deanna entered their quarters, more than willing to lie down and fall asleep right away. It had been a long day, but now, finally, it was coming to an end. She was not needed on the bridge anymore, the transport of the bacterium had been completed. All they could do now was wait and see if their plan would work.

With a heavy sigh, she let herself drop on the couch, noticing that the dishes from dinner had not been cleaned up yet. All she had to do was put them into the automatic cleaner, yet it took her about another two minutes to get up again. Three plates, she realized, smiling. Lahera had given them the opportunity to have a quiet dinner together before leaving.

What would she be doing now if Lily were still here? Probably just checking on her, because she would be in bed already, as hard as it was to make her stay there.

Thinking of the girl, she suddenly remembered something else she still had to get done: finding a contact for the social worker. Who would be the right one for that? Not that she did have that large a variety to choose from anyway. The first person coming to mind, for some reason though, was Beverly. She would probably say something positive about them without turning her judgement into a forced compliment. The honest woman was rather outspoken.

Yet Deanna had not talked to her friend in weeks, which was negligence on her behalf. The rapid chances that had been happening lately would sure be a surprise. On the other hand, she had already missed the old conversations with Beverly, and there was so much to tell. Was it too late to send her a communiqué now?

"Computer, time."

"Starda-"

"No, standard time."

"2208 hours and 34 seconds."

Going by common courtesy, it was quite late, but Beverly had never been the kind of person to go to bed early. Deanna walked over to the console and sat down. "Establish connection to earth, San Francisco, Crusher, Beverly, recipient Gamma C-43…try to find all starting with C-43."

"There are 2174 possibilities with C-43."

"How many named Crusher?"

"14"

"Never mind that, try private communicator of Beverly Crusher, M.D., Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco, authorization Troi Alpha-04."

"Authorization acknowledged, please wait a moment." She leaned back in her chair, taking the time to throw a quick glance at the data padds stapling on the table.

Suddenly, the Starfleet symbol disappeared, and the screen lit up, showing a middle aged woman with auburn hair and blonde streaks. "Deanna! To what occasion do I owe this pleasant surprise?", she asked slightly cynical.

The addressed woman cringed a little. "I was supposed to call you back a few weeks ago when I didn't have time to talk, wasn't I?" The doctor nodded slowly. "And…I didn't."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh Beverly, I'm so sorry. It was just that something always kept coming between it, and then-I don't know how-I forgot."

"Don't worry about it.", the redhead laughed. "I've also been quite busy myself. It's okay, really."

"No, it's not, I should have…sorry."

"Well, I think I can generously forgive you this one time."

"I'm glad. So how have you been doing?"

"Pretty well, actually. This job is really keeping me busy, but that's okay. It's just the amount of paperwork that I don't think I'll ever get used to. Sitting behind a desk is simply not my thing. On the other hand, I feel like…I can really accomplish something here. There are serious reforms going on in the medical system, and most every one is for the better, in my opinion."

"That's good. Are you feeling at home there?"

"Well…of course I miss our years of flying through space.", she smiled. "That's always going to be an important part of my life. But it was time for a change, and overall, I think I made the right decision. It's been years since I have walked down a real beach, or seen a sunset. I like San Francisco, and I have some very nice colleagues here, too."

"VERY nice?" Deanna listened up, smirking.

"Not the way you think! What I meant was that I have met a few friendly people here. Platonic friends, you know. Except for that Baker… But anyway, how are you doing there?"

"Great. There's so much that has happened here, so much that I've wanted to talk to you about for a while. But tell me more about that Baker first."

Beverly sighed in annoyance. "There's not much to tell about him. We're working together on some matters, and he is just the most arrogant, self-absorbed man I have ever met! One of these days, I'll…"

"You'll what?"

"…change the subject. I'm curious, there's something that you've been wanting to tell me. What's going on?"

Deanna started to inform her of the whole series of events that had occurred since their last conversation, finishing with the planned adoption. Her friend looked surprised, perhaps even slightly shocked.

"Now that is a lot of news. But great news, I'm so excited for you!"

"Don't be, it's too early to exclaim joy about it because nothing's certain yet."

"I'm sure you'll get the adoption rights, there's no reason why you shouldn't." Not an official one, she thought. But there were reasons for doubt, severe doubt.

"Yet you look so worried. Is there something else?"

"No, nothing." A wave of remembrance rushed through her as she smiled sadly. "I was just thinking…it would have been Ian's 15th birthday six days ago."

Beverly grew serious. "In a way it was. He exists as a different life form, and you said yourself that he still remembered everything in that state…but you miss him, don't you?"

"I hardly knew him. I wonder how he would have turned out." There was a short pause. "Well, I felt that the social worker was agreeing with Will and I adopting Lily. Let's hope no higher instance will deny it."

"The legal situation is looking good for you. And just in case you happen to stop by earth-per chance with child-…"

"Then you'll be the first to be visited."

"I would sure hope so!"

"There's one more thing…it may seem a little early, but we were advised to settle this beforehand. Risa, for administrative purposes, advises the parents or parent to name a 'Zerebi', another person to look out for the child, who would take on parental responsibilities in case the parents die. In Lily's case, this didn't really work out the first time because her Zerebi felt he wasn't ready to take care of a baby, which she was back then. He gave up his position. Well, Will and I have been thinking…if Lily becomes our daughter, would you be willing to be the Zerebi? You would be something like her godmother then."

Beverly beamed, her blue eyes sparkling with joy. "Oh Deanna, that's wonderful…I would feel very honored. Of course I'd do it."

"Thank you. Nothing's certain yet though." She sighed. "We'll see."

* * *

Bleep…bleep…There was a faint sound…somewhere…what was going on?

"Captain!" He sat up, suddenly remembering. His second officer's voice-Nibba III-Fepris II-the Titan-here he was.

"Go ahead." Will's voice sounded dry, perhaps even a little hoarse.

"Sorry to wake you up, Sir, but we have arrived-everything looks calm down there. Are we supposed to do a level 3 scan?"

"Yeah…yes, Commander, get started with the scan, please. I'll be right there. Riker out."

Will moaned, his head hurt awfully. "Computer, time?", he asked very quietly.

"0449 hours."

Not even five yet? Gee, they really had arrived on time. Four hours of sleep weren't nearly enough. He got up, careful not to hit anything, and grabbed his hygiene kit out of a drawer.

"What's going on?", a drowsy voice asked from the bed. Deanna shifted and opened her black eyes a small gap.

"Shh, just go back to sleep." Her first appointment would be at seven. "I'll be on duty."

"Have fun.", she muttered, dropping her head back on the pillow.

He whispered a sarcastic "I will" and moved to the bathroom. There was no time to take a sonic shower, as much as he would have wanted to. Oh well, he would make up for it later. These were the times when he appreciated his beard because he didn't need to groom constantly.

After getting dressed in a hurry and drinking a cup of coffee without even sitting down, he quickly walked up to the bridge.

"Any results yet?"

Saunders turned towards him. "No definite ones, Captain, but everything looks clear on the planet. No humanoid life forms were localized so far."

Riker was looking sceptical. "We'll send an away team down there at 0600 hours, Eric. Prepare Cazca, Chavelle, and Jay'Cel for it."

"Aye, Sir."

"Computer, localize Commander Davenport."

"Commander Davenport's current position is at the gym."

"Riker to Davenport"

"Yes?"

"An away team under your command will be sent down to Fepris II at 0600 hours. You are going to take Lieutenant Commander Cazca, Lieutenant Chavelle and Doctor Jay'Cel with you."

"Jay'Cel, Sir?", she wondered.

"Yes, Commander, for the purpose of scientific examination."

"Aye, Sir." Will knew that she had understood the meaning of "scientific examination".

* * *

_There seems to be only one person who has read the story this far-either that, or you forgot to review, pretty depressing. But thank you for all of the old reviews, they're helpful! In case there are some other people out there: Kachina79 has posted a lovely story which has Lily in it, called "A Higher Love"._


	24. Chapter TwentyThree: Who did it?

A cool wind was blowing across the colorful landscape. There was a sharp edge to it which made the air appear icy, even though the outside temperature lay at a moderate 9°C. In spite of her warmer uniform, Sarah was freezing and hoped to get it over with soon. A jacket would have been nice now.

Yet everyone else seemed to have forgotten the cold because of their fascinating findings: There was a settlement on Fepris II. Not only the devastated ruins of the Inugia houses, but an established, functioning settlement, as much as they could judge that. Most of the buildings were high, white, scientific centers, but there also were some flat, brown houses at the center of the "village". It was obvious that the former had been built primitively, using mud and wood, yet were stabile enough to withstand storms. The scientific buildings, however, displayed a great deal of expertise, consisting of a chemically synthesized substance which, so she had found out, was able to prevent harmful radiation from diffusing the walls.

The most alarming thing about the apparently inhabited settlement though was that it was bereft. Going by the traces of nutrition and machines, they could be nearly one hundred percent sure that this area had been left in a hurry. Nevertheless, there was no ship in the orbit of Fepris II.

But at the moment, it was not Sarah's responsibility to look through the new houses. The engineer had been assigned to scan the Inugia ruins carefully. Most of the chunks had been cleaned up, along with the corpses and what had been left of their personal ownership, and except for the gravel, everything had an awkward sterile look. The houses were entirely burned out, only the basic frames were still showing. This must have been a brutal massacre, she thought.

Stepping over a broken barren of wood, she felt an uncomfortable feeling creep up her spine. It reminded her of her childhood on earth, when she had once entered a negatively impressive place all by herself at nightfall, as a test of courage. "La campagne morte", they had called it, which described a mass cemetery for casualties of war. Strange, that this intense memory should come back to her right this moment, while she had never thought of it on other occasions.

Pulling out her tricorder, Sarah analyzed the chemistry of the ruins, and what she had already supposed now became a fact, traces of trilithium were indeed present. It did fit the picture, but lead to a conclusion which she did not like at all…

"Commander Davenport, over here!" Interrupted by Eric's distant calling, for he had urged to accompany them, she put the scanner away and met with the rest of the group. Cazca was pointing his phaser at something, while the doctor knelt at its side. Commander Saunders was simply standing there, appearing a little irritated.

"Is he dead?", the first officer asked.

"No, but severely injured, multiple broken bones, inner bleeding, burns,…you don't need to point that at him, he couldn't attack anyone if he tried.", Jay'Cel told the security officer.

"I do not intend to shoot at him for no reason, but we are safer if he is under control.", the latter answered calmly.

Finally, Sarah was close enough to get a look at the unconscious body, gasping. It was a male, apparently a warrior, going by his heavy, black clothes which were partly torn. He was rather big, with broad shoulders, large hands and a massive frontal bone. The only colorful spot in his white face were the brown lips. They formed a strange contrast to his long, thick, black hair. However strong he may have seemed, it became obvious that he was in a horrible state. The remaining fabric covering his body was soaked with dark, crimson blood. Cuts and haematomas spread over his abdomen and limbs, while his right leg was in an awfully crooked position. The edgy face had been wounded as well, a large bruise on the cheek caused it to swell to the size of a small mandarin.

The young woman would have felt sorry for him, had she not recognized him to be Keionian.

"We need to beam him up to sickbay right away.", the doctor stated.

"No!", Ashley objected. "He would be a safety risk. We cannot take one of the Keionians on board of the Titan."

"Commander, if we don't take this man with us, he is going to die!"

"And if we took him with us, it would be suicide!", Saunders exclaimed angrily. "There's more than 800 people on the ship up there, how can we possibly consider risking their lives for an aggressor who was left behind by his own people?"

"Providing medical treatment is not the same thing as taking a captive, besides the fact that the Prime Directive won't let us refuse medical aid in this situation. This one diplomatic act of saving 'one of them' might save us a war with Keiona!"

"The war began when they attacked an Andorian settlement!"

"There never was an official proclama-", Cazca threw in.

"Stop it!", the first officer intervened sternly. "Now, I agree with the doctor that we can't refuse medical aid here, and this is a good opportunity to communicate with an individual Keionian, away from his group. Davenport to Titan…"

"Go ahead.", Riker's voice sounded through the communicator.

"We have found a badly injured Keionian. He is unconscious, and in urging need of immediate medical treatment. Permission to beam him up, Sir?"

"A Keionian!" They could hear the captain talking to other crewmembers, getting advice, giving orders. "I will have him beamed up here when preparations are finished. I'll keep the commlink open."

Meanwhile, Jay'Cel approached the foreigner's neck with a hypospray, trying to stabilize the unconscious man. Sarah did some final scans on the surrounding houses. She was rather glad to leave this planet.

"Are you finally done?", Ashley snapped, still angered from the previous disagreement.

"Well, yes…almost, Sir. I did analyze the ruins, but the structural aspects of the new settlement I wasn't able to catch entirely." What had the commander meant by her question? Was she really supposed to get finished with the scans this quickly? Perhaps she had wasted too much time on the statue of Pok, but her work there had been important. Or hadn't it? The first officer thought her too indecisive, she was certain. She would have preferred Strecker to become chief engineer. If it hadn't been for Sarah's technological achievements, she never would have been promoted. They didn't like her, although she was one of them. But she'd show them, one day. But not today, no, never today.

"Hum. Well, I suppose that will be sufficient for now."

She tucked a stray of black hair behind her ear. "Yes, Sir." What they did not know was that she did despise them, Davenport and the rest. They were commanding, yes, heroic, ambitious, communicative types, but she was not inferior to them. Admiration and hate could be so close to each other. Or was it jealousy?

"Ready to beam?", the baritone voice asked at last.

"Yes, Captain." Without a sound, the away team disappeared from the surface as quickly as they had arrived.

* * *

The captain entered sickbay, followed by the counsellor and a nurse. Doctor Jay'Cel did not look up due to his current task of stopping a strong bleeding through artificial cell regeneration. His torso was bent over a grey biobed which was illuminated by several lights. Nurses were rushing around all over the place, fetching instruments and taking care of other patients.

The visitors approached the Andorian medical officer. "What state is he in?", Riker asked with a head movement towards the man on the biobed.

"I managed to stop the worst exterior bleeding, but his state is severe, with weak life signs…"

"Life threatening?"

"Critical, I'll do my best."

"When will he be ready for questioning?"

The nervous doctor threw him a disbelieving glance. "Not too soon. Even after having received medical treatment, I would like to keep him unconscious for a while to ensure a healing process without…obstacles. I have to do an emergency operation now to stop his interior bleeding, excuse me, Sir."

Riker looked at the body briefly before leaving sickbay. So this was a Keionian, one of the people who had most likely intended to kill his away team, or at least to hold them captives. One of the people who were responsible for at least 1000 deaths. He didn't know what he had expected him to look like, just not like…that. So ordinary, strong, and yet so vulnerable. What had he done to be injured like this? 'No, I don't really care.', the captain reminded himself. A strong wrath welled up inside him, they were the murderers. And he'd get the reason for it out of this guy.

"Will", Deanna addressed him. "we won't reach anything by making this man pay for everything. You know that, don't you?"

He felt caught in the act. "No, we won't. But don't expect me to be nice to him."

"This is our chance to learn about the truth."

"Let's hope so."

* * *

"Very well, Ensign Kepok. That would be all. Dismissed." The Vulcan woman nodded, got up and left the room.

Will sighed audibly and rested his still aching head in his hands for a moment. "What impression did you get?"

"She was being honest, no lies, as far as I can judge that.", the counsellor remarked.

"Factually speaking, what she told us was accurate.", Cazca added. "Her tasks as well as the time when she left the machine room."

"What surprised me was her remark about Bicami's behavior."

"Yes, but that may just be a misjudgement.", his wife doubted. "We shouldn't weigh a nervous officer more highly than what he has to tell us himself."

"Let's hear him then. The next one!", Will ordered.

A medium sized human in a light uniform, with black, curly hair and brown eyes entered the grey room. He recognized the three senior officers sitting at the long table in the back. The captain was sitting in the middle, the counsellor to his left and the security officer to his right. They looked very serious.

"Sit down, please." Riker indicated a chair with his hand. "Your name and rank?"

"Junior Ensign Emilio Bicami, Sir."

"How long have you been serving on the Titan?"

"For about a year."

"Could you speak up a little?" He was hard to understand.

"For approximately one year, Captain."

"And you are currently advancing your engineering skills, is that correct?"

"I am." He was trying to appear calm and open, but they noticed how he kept kneading his hands.

"Do you know what you are here for?"

"Well, I believe…there was some systemic overload a few days ago, wasn't there?"

"That's right."

"We are trying to reconstruct what happened, which is why we have to question everyone who was in the machine room around the time.", Deanna explained with a friendly smile. That poor man was so anxious.

"Did you notice anything unusual that day? Were you able to take any strange readings?"

"No…no, there was nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, the concentration of heminine was sort of out of the ordinary that morning."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It was higher than ever, my console showed a fraction of 13 percent in the starboard anterior tubus."

"Why didn't you report that to a superior officer?", Lieutenant Commander Cazca threw in.

"I thought it would only be temporally because of the plasma exchange, Sir."

"Ensign, you know that every abnormality of that sort has to be reported to a senior officer.", Will corrected him.

"I wasn't sure, we learned at the academy that high heminine levels often occur during technological reparations."

"This is not the academy, and you were not qualified to exclude the possibility of other causes.", Cazca remarked.

"I'm sorry, I…it was only my third day in engineering."

"But you should know that you are obliged to consult a superior officer in case of doubt. Your behavior was unacceptable."

The man merely nodded and looked at them desperately.

"We are going to interrupt this questioning for an hour, it will continue at 1230 hours. I expect you to be here then, Ensign.", Riker proclaimed.

"Yes, Sir." Bicami could not get out of the room quickly enough.

"I'll go verify his statement about the heminine levels.", Cazca said, leaving after him.

Will gave Deanna questioning look. "He lied.", she stated quietly.

"Are you sure? At what point?"

She nodded slowly. "I'm certain, he didn't tell the truth throughout the whole interrogation. There was no high concentration of heminine in the tubus, and he knows more than he is telling us. I can't tell if he has something to do with the overload, but he is hiding a lot from us and scared that we are going to find out more."

"He is the only person who could have done it. There was not outside intruder, and all other officers present in the machine room at the time either were not in the position to do it or didn't have a moment alone."

"There is no reason for him personally to cause a systemic overload though to conceal information."

"No…no, I suppose there isn't." His mind started drifting away, his eyes fixed on the opposite wall without seeing anything.

Deanna got up and touched his shoulder in passing him. "We'll find out more later, I'll get some lunch now. Are you coming?"

"No, I think I'll just stay here and go over the questions we have to ask him."

"Want me to help you?"

"No, that's okay, really. I just need some time to think about this.", he replied honestly. Apparently, he really wanted to be alone. William Riker was one of the people to ponder about problems in silence.

"Okay, I'll see you later then." A few metres before the door, she stopped and turned around once more. "You might want to speak with Lieutenant Chavelle though. Her report seemed important."

* * *

"Interesting…"

"What is it, Fred?" Sarah took a look over his shoulder at the screen he was studying so intensely. "Oh yes, I noticed that, too. The weapons functioned through trilithium. Since there are no natural resources on Keiona, they must have found a way to synthesize it."

"That's not everything. Look at this, the Maloney test showed that they used unpolar trilithium. There are only three natural sources of that, and all of them are under the administration of the Federation of Planets."

"But that's impossible!" She double checked the graph on screen. "There is no chemical catalyser that would enable an oxidative reaction with trilithium, no matter what oxidant they may possess."

"Neither organic nor inorganic substances can work in a milieu this acidic.", Lieutenant Lennix confirmed.

"They must have gained access to natural resources some way."

"Could they have discovered new planets?"

"Possible, but we'd have to know more about their space travel technology for that."

"Computer, show map of the two solar systems containing the planets Keiona and Fepris II." A stellar cartography showed up on screen.

"That distance is hardly manageable without a warp core.", Fred remarked. "But Fepris II is close to the border of the Neutral Zone, they couldn't risk flying through there, it would lead them close to Romulan space."

"So to reach unexplored space they would have to fly the opposite direction, all the way to the border of the Beta Zone."

"That means millions of kilometres through Federation space- and that without being discovered?"

"Very unlikely. The transport of trilithium wouldn't be worth that risk."

"Unless…what if the risk factor were very small for them? They might have cloaking ability."

"Yes, they might…" She shook her head, taking a deep breath. "That leaves us where we started."

* * *

Will was at the verge of loosing his last bit of patience. This shouldn't happen to him, he was a professional. Well, in theory it shouldn't, but he was well aware that he lost against his anger all too often.

"Mr. Bicami", he articulated coolly. "we **know** that there was no high concentration of heminine. There is absolutely no computer record indicating abnormally high levels of anything that morning."

"I don't know why!", he called out desperately. "There **was** such a notification on my screen. I can still picture it right now, it was there!"

"Emilio, it's no use lying about it, you are only making the situation worse for yourself.", the counsellor stated. "If the overload was an accident you tried to conceal, it will most likely not even come to a trial."

There was a short pause, the young man was obviously at war with himself. "Alright, it…it was me. I wanted to get done with my work earlier-a stupid mistake-so I tested the plasma filters all at the same time, instead of turning them on one by one."

"Do you even realize", Riker said through clenched teeth. "that such a mistake out in space could kill all of us? We were lucky to be at a space station! And all that because of shier laziness!" Bicami didn't look at him, his gaze went past the captain. He passively endured the scolding.

"Well, Ensign, that's it. We will discuss the consequences this is going to have for you. Dismissed."

Emilio got up and hurried to leave the room once more, when Lieutenant Commander Cazca spoke up suddenly. "Strange, isn't it, that the systemic overload was caused by a digital block from console four, not by the filters, as it is most of the time."

The young man seemed to freeze for a moment, while Will's head snapped to the right. This was news to him.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I thought it appropriate not to share that newly gained information before the questioning. It was certain that everyone would assume a mistake in the filters, whereas the one who caused the systemic overload would know where the real mistake lay. Apparently, I was wrong, the perpetrator used the common assumption as an excuse."

"You did it deliberately, didn't you?", Deanna, recovering from the surprise, asked the ensign.

Bicami turned around. "Yes, m'am, I did."

"But why?"

"I was ordered to do so."

"Ordered by whom?"

"By a higher instance." For the first time during the interrogation, Emilio was calm. He left a disillusioned impression on Will, that man had nothing to lose.

"I'm giving you one last chance to tell me the truth.", the captain uttered sternly. "Who, in verbal or written form, gave you the order to cause a systemic overload?"

"Commander Jenkins."

* * *


	25. Chapter TwentyFour: Up's and Down's

„Will!", she shouted with excitement. "We got a letter!" Finally, after two weeks of hoping and doubting, they had received word. She got up and nearly collided with her husband in the open doorway.

"Well…?", he uttered as a question. Deanna simply smiled for a moment, she had to let this news sink in herself.

"In case you missed that, I'm not a telepath."

She laughed, shaking her head. "It's the adoption papers."

Whatever reaction she may have expected, it didn't come. Will merely stood frozen into place, wearing a bemused expression. "That…that means they accepted us?"

"Yes! They're going to drop Lily off tomorrow afternoon, when they will also file the adoption."

"Oh my God, that's wonderful! That…Deanna!" Out of a sudden urge, he took her into his arms, swirling her around.

"Stop it!", she laughed once again. When he had set her down, there were thousands of thoughts shooting through her mind at the same time. "Ready to be a dad?"

* * *

With a brief nod to Jeffrey, a security officer, she had the force field lowered and entered their captive's space. The invisible wall popped back in place, as the young man jerked up from his bed in the corner. He had been lying there, staring at the ceiling.

There he stood, she thought, a tall, big man with an immense strength in his muscles and trained to kill, yet so unaware of his own doings. His mind was at the level of a little child's. The counsellor had talked to him twice now, but due to a sudden occurrence of high fever, the upcoming conversation had been delayed.

Nevertheless, she had a good feeling about their past meetings. It had taken more than a universal translator to actually have a conversation with him, but she had found an approach. Undoubtedly, part of it could be blamed on his affinity for her as a woman, but any connection was better than none.

"Hello, Manhari.", she smiled. "Are you feeling better today?"

"Yes. The doctor made me heal."

"That's good." He scrutinized her, looking up and down, his grey-blue eyes open, hands tucking at the new, plain, blue clothes. She stepped over to the table. "I see they finally brought you games. Have you tried any of them yet?"

"Yes. This-", he held one of them up. "and this." His play drive was extraordinarily high, which was one of the first things she had noticed about him. That and the fact that it was nearly impossible for her to read his emotions.

"Musicman-that's a good game, isn't it?"

"I like it."

"Do you have games at your home?"

"No." His expression sobered. "Wemrak says they're bad. Bad waste of time."

"But if you enjoy them…"

"No, Wemrak says they're bad!" As if he had suddenly grown aware of something, he swiped "Musicman" off the table with his left arm. The security officer jumped up from his chair, ready to intervene if the unpredictable man should turn aggressive.

"It's alright, Jeffrey.", she assured him quickly. "So Wemrak is someone who commands you."

"He's very smart, yes, he tells us what to do." Manhari's eyes were sparkling with admiration, as he took a seat on his bed again.

"All of the other Epamari?"

"Yes, all of us. I will never ever do something against him."

"Did you ever?" The warrior's face clouded, he clenched his fists.

Deanna crouched down to meet his eye level. "Manhari, I know it's hard for you to talk about it, but was that the reason why you were hurt? That you disobeyed Wemrak?"

"No, no, they didn't hurt me! They didn't! Wemrak is always right…they didn't hurt me!" His body was rocking back and forth, while he withdrew completely, muttering something the universal translator was unable to catch.

She took his arms without holding them too tightly. "It's okay, Manhari, no one can hurt you here. You're safe."

The counsellor began to feel terribly sorry for him, in spite of professional distance. He was a murderer, but also a victim. But if he had been used, hadn't all of them been? Weren't all of them, in a way, victims?

The Keionian seemed to trigger off into his own world. This was definitely enough for today. "I'm going to leave you now, but I'll come back tomorrow. Will you be okay?"

"Stay!", he pleaded. "Will you…will you play this with me?" He went over to the table and picked up another squared box.

She hesitated for a moment. "Well, I suppose I could stay for **one** round."

Manhari was beaming at her, and eagerly began unpacking the tiny figures of the game. They started playing by rules which were slightly altered, and Deanna let him win. "Nice job!"

He smiled at her. "You're very pretty."

"Oh…well, thank you.", she replied. "But it's really time for me to go now." She got up and scooted the chair back into place, he followed her.

"No, not yet!"

"I have to, there's work for me to do. But I promise I'll come back tomorrow."

"No!", he yelled, suddenly thrusting her against the wall. An immediate lightning of pain shot through her head and back, barely letting her notice Jeffrey knocking the Epamari unconscious with a phaser.

* * *

Will hurried into sickbay. What the hell was going on? "Deanna!" He discovered her, sitting on a biobed.

She took word before he was able to say anything. "Don't worry, I'm alright."

"What happened? They couldn't tell me much about the attack. Are you okay?"

"As I just said, Will, it's nothing. **Really**." She looked a little pale, but not any abnormal besides that. He looked at the doctor expectantly.

"A laceration and a light concussion…not nothing, but she's going to be just fine.", Jay'Cel explained with an assuring smile. "There, that would be it." He lowered the cell regenerator. "Are you feeling any dizzy?"

"Just a little."

"Headache?"

"Oh yes.", she grimaced.

The doctor grabbed a hypospray. "This will help."

"Thank you."

"You're free to go then. Take it easy for another couple of hours, no work."

"Thanks, Jay'Cel."

Deanna tried to tidy her brown hair, and hopped off the biobed. "Weren't you right in the middle of a conversation with the admiral?"

"That's okay, there's still time for that later." He trivialized it with a movement of his hand. "I'll come with you."

"That's very sweet of you, but you don't have to."

"But I want to."

"Please, don't make such a fuss!"

"Don't pretend nothing happened!"

"Will…!"

* * *

"Hello, Captain Riker from the U.S.S. Titan.", he greeted the secretary politely. "Are Admiral Nechejev or Admiral Janeia by chance available right now?"

"Have you made an appointment?"

"No, but I have to talk to one of them about a matter of high importance."

"I'm afraid they're very busy.", the elderly woman replied coolly. "I could set up an appointment for you though."

"Please, it's very urgent. Couldn't you ask them if they have five minutes?"

"Mr…"

"Riker."

"Every communiqué arriving here is 'urgent'. That doesn't mean I can go bother them with everything while they do not want to be disturbed, can I now?"

"Of course not, m'am." Who did they employ down there? "Listen, technically, I shouldn't be telling you that, but it's about an issue of interior security."

The secretary looked at him sternly, not amused at all. "I am not dumb. Good day, Mr. Ri-"

"Miss…"

"Chambers, Mrs."

"Mrs. Chambers, couldn't you **please** just look at the schedule lying right in front of you, if, by coincidence, one of the admirals does have time at the moment?"

The old woman sighed, throwing a quick glance on the data padd. "Admiral Wilson would be free right now."

Great, that was his typical luck. "I'm sorry, but I really have to speak with Admiral Janeia or Nechejev." Mrs. Chambers got angry now, apparently thinking it a waste of time to converse with him any further.

"Would you give me an appointment?", the captain asked with resignation.

"Fine." The secretary's features softened, this was her job. "How about tomorrow at 1330 hours with Admiral Janeia?"

That would be half an hour before Lily arrived, but he didn't want to press his luck. "That would be great. Thank you."

"Good day, Mr. Riker."

* * *

"…so I'm going to discuss it with him later." Deanna nodded, listening with half an ear while they were preparing Lily's room.

"Would you hand me the blanket?" He looked around for a few seconds, before spotting it in the corner behind him.

"So what did you find out about the Keionian?"

"Well, it's hard to receive any information on the reasons for the attacks from Manhari. I don't think he knows anything, but he appears to have high respect for a person called Wemrak, who must be his superior. The Epamari are following his orders, 'blindly', you could say because any disobedience is punished horribly. Manhari was trained not to question anything, once he recognizes authority, he follows it. When we were talking about the attack on the Inugia settlement, he didn't seem to comprehend the seriousness, or the immorality of it."

"Didn't comprehend or didn't **want** to comprehend?"

"No, Will, at his current state, he cannot understand it. He received very specific education, but wasn't taught common sense. The way he was treated, even the way he was raised, which seems pretty close to 'mass breeding', caused an underdevelopment of his character. See it this way: He knows how to repair a phaser, but is illiterate at the same time. Manhari is not…deliberately 'evil'."

Her husband turned away with an annoyed eye-roll. "I still don't get why he had to hit you though, while you said that the meetings with him were going well."

"It was a spontaneous overreaction. He did that because he can't control his emotions. He's very much like a child…unfortunately, a child with muscles and weapons."

"Will leaned against the wall, trying to pull his thoughts together. "Okay, but even if he's partly unguilty of his actions, that doesn't change the fact that he'll do more harm if we release him. He's a dangerous man."

"That's true.", she shrugged. "I don't know…I need a little more time with him."

"You should leave the force field up though. Who knows what he'll do next."

"I can't, that would destroy every fragile amount of trust I got so far. But I'm sure going to watch out better next time."

"Take another officer with you, at least."

"There was another officer there…"

"Outside of the force field, standing somewhere out of hearing range!"

"I can hardly take him with me, that would only make things much worse! Manhari would feel threatened…"

"Well, that's just too bad then!" He was mad, this whole issue about that Keionian bothered him. Why did she have to defend him like that? He was a killer, maybe an abused one, but still a killer! But no, she had to be stubborn again and talk to him by herself because there had to be some way of fixing him so everything would fit into her view of the universe.

"Will, I can't go in there with another officer because he won't tell me anything then. There would be no point in-"

"I can make it an order.", he interrupted.

"Don't you dare…He's my patient! Besides, I could override your command by releasing a medical order." He could tell that she was much more angry than himself. If looks could have killed…

"Not in this case, you don't have sufficient arguments for it. Like it or not, I still am your superior officer."

"You can be such an arrogant jerk!", she shouted. "You wouldn't even listen to my arguments…could you try to leave personal issues out of here?"

That was way too much of an accusation. "I would have ordered **anyone** to take another officer with them while entering that man's space, and you know that, because it's simply a matter of safety!"

"Great, that's settled then. Permission to leave, Captain?" Without waiting for any further answer, she stormed out of their quarters, furiously.

Will exhaled deeply and sank onto the next best chair. What had that been all about? He hated fighting with Deanna, but why couldn't she understand that he only wanted what was best? They seemed to get into heated arguments a lot lately. Okay, he wasn't unguilty of it, but…he didn't exactly enjoy it either.

* * *

"So you just did all of that without getting any permission for it?", Janeia wondered, frowning.

"The systemic overload was a ship internal problem, which we were able to solve by ourselves."

"It's not the overload I'm talking about, Riker."

"I know.", he sighed. "Admiral, I'm aware that we didn't have orders to fly to Fepris II, but neither did we have orders not to do so, and our other missions were fulfilled. We found the Silvershot, there was a connection between that attack and the Inugia incident, so I felt it would be our duty to investigate those offenses against Starfleet."

The admiral smirked. "Do you jump off a roof just because I didn't tell you not to do so? I appreciate your sense of duty, but don't try to impress me with noble talk about Starfleet's codex of honor. You were curious and mad about the attacks, so you decided to take justice into your own hands, that's understandable, but incorrect. You were not assigned to investigate the attacks because of your personal involvement, we felt it might affect your objectivity. But instead of following orders, you discovered a new race, which you didn't tell anyone about, examined another planet, and took a captive! What do you expect me to do?"

"With all due respect, Sir, the authorized investigation didn't seem very eager to find the perpetrators."

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing, but I'm saying that Commander Jenkins was sent to the Titan to 'supervise our actions'…and that he did."

It was hard to see the Trill's honest opinion on the situation because his face showed no direct reaction. His years as a diplomat had taught him not to show emotions too openly. "Captain, Jenkins had no orders to do what he did."

"Maybe **you** didn't order him to hold back information from us, but someone did." Will could not accuse the man he had in mind directly. Even in his current situation, it would have appeared as a bold, unjustified judgement. And as important as the truth was to him, he didn't want to end up in a court. "By the way, I'm surprised to hear that you never received information about the humanoids on Keiona before, since I told Admiral Wilson about it several days after our-unauthorized as it may be-away mission. He reminded me of the Federation's principle not to interfere with the development of a foreign culture and told me to stay away from them."

Janeia scratched the blue spots at the side of his face thoughtfully. "That better be true, Riker."

"Check the communicative logs if you like, Admiral." He tried not to look too triumphant, but it was a hard task.

"You can be sure of that. The Phoenix is going to meet with you tomorrow to pick up Ensign Bicami, you have to get the time and coordinates settled with them.

"Thank you, Admiral."

The Trill nodded and cut the connection. He would take the right steps, Will was certain of it. That man could be trusted.

* * *

Deanna was standing in transporter room 3, nervously waiting for her daughter's arrival. 'My daughter'; she liked that thought. Her husband wasn't there yet, which actually surprised her. It wasn't like him to be unpunctual, not on a day like this at least.

"Anxious to see your little girl?", Chief Histra asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"And how!", she smiled.

"I can imagine…"

"How are Jonah and Michelle doing, by the way?"

"Jonah's fine, though he has developed a fanatic interest in Starfleet."

"Well, he's taking after his father."

"I guess so. Although I'd prefer him to go out and play with the other kids some more. Michelle is…a teenager. Of course she thinks I'm terribly old fashioned."

"She's 13, right?"

"14."

"And trying to find her own way…"

"Yeah. Which her parents have to survive somehow.", he grinned. "But, you know…they're worth it. The kids I mean."

"Good to know."

"Oh, they're ready for transport.", Histra informed her.

Quickly, a molecular structure began to form on the transport platform, soon to be distinguishable as an exotic looking man, and a young girl with two ponytails of curly, dirty blonde hair and dark brown eyes. The latter was beaming from ear to ear and ran to Deanna immediately.

"Lily!" The Betazoid picked up the child and hugged it. "I've missed you so much."

"Missed you, too.", she mumbled somewhere into her hair.

"Have you been a good girl?" Lily nodded and raised her head, looking at the woman holding her.

"Is it true that I never have to leave here again? Never?"

"Yes, that's true, you're staying here…supposing you want to stay!"

"Yes!" Deanna was close to tears again, how foolish of her. Everything was fine now.

"Are you crying?", Lily wondered confusedly.

"Just a little, because I'm so happy."

"But…but that's no reason to cry! Don't cry!" The girl stroked her cheek.

"I'll try, sweetie.", she laughed.

The social worker, who had decently remained in the background so far, uttered a quiet cough. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Lahera, I was-"

"That's okay, I understand completely.", he smiled. "It's just that I need to leave very quickly for an appointment, so if you have any questions, you might want to discuss them now."

"I can't think of anything at the moment."

"Well, if any problems should occur, feel free to send me a communiqué. If not, I'll get back to you in a month to see how Lily got settled in. Unfortunately, there was an error in the papers-your name was misspelled, to be exact-so that they will only be ready in few hours. I will send them to you though, and it would be great if you could sign them and send them back as soon as possible."

"We will."

"Well then, I'm glad that we got to this solution, give my regards to your husband, and good luck!"

"Thank you…for everything.", Deanna replied warmly.

"You're welcome. Take good care of them, Lily!", he winked. The child nodded and waved shyly.

Lahera stepped back onto the platform, gave his confirmation to beam down, and disappeared after a last goodbye.

"Where's Will?", the little girl asked.

"He really, really wanted to be here, but he has to talk to an admiral, a very important man. You'll see him later though."

"Oh." She seemed very disappointed.

"Hey, what do you think about just the two of us girls getting some ice cream right now?"

"Awesome! Chocolate ice cream?", Lily grinned.

"You know me too well.", Deanna sighed dramatically.

When they were right about ready to leave, a tall, bearded man entered the transporter room, exclaiming "Sorry I'm late!" before even seeing anyone in particular.

"Will!" The Betazoid set the child down, who ran towards the man right away, hugging his legs.

"Whoa, hey there!"

Will crouched down to meet the girl's eye level. "Is that possible? I think you grew during those two weeks."

"It's very much possible.", Lily explained with serious conviction. He smirked and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"We're gonna go eat ice cream! But it's just for girls."

"Well, I'm afraid I can't keep up with that."

Deanna walked up to them. "You think we could make an exception for him?" Her daughter nodded emphatically.

"I'll be glad to come along then."

Lily took their hands and pulled the two adults through the door out into the hallway. What she didn't see was the apologetic glance her new father threw his wife, which remained without a response.

_

* * *

_

_Well, I wrote the last part of this chapter very quickly and didn't edit it a lot because I wasn't sure if I would have time to post this during the next few says. There might be some mistakes in the paragraphing, hope you don't mind it!_


	26. Chapter TwentyFive: Deeper Wounds

_No, the story is not over yet. But it will be eventually(promise). You'll notice when it is. Warning: This is a long chapter, I'm using Spring Break to write a lot. There might be a couple of mistakes in the end, like the use of the verb "to tow", I didn't know a synonyme. Hope it doesn't bother you too much._

* * *

„And how did that make you feel, Miss Teddy?" The child appeared to wait for an answer, then nodded seriously. "I understand, it must have been really sad. Don't think about it so much. Go and play more, and have fun!"

"Well, of course it's hard, but you can do it!"

Will had to bite his lip in order not to burst out into laughter. He should have concentrated on a report about anti-matter maintenance, but this was way better. So he simply sat behind the console and watched the scene before him-an odd scene, it might have seemed to an outstanding person. There was a little girl sitting on the floor, in a circle with her stuffed animals. Talking and listening to them, she seemed to have serious conversations.

"No, Kiara, it's not your turn yet! Let Miss Teddy finish." They were interrupted by Deanna entering the room, without Lily even taking notice of her.

"Shh!" Will raised a finger to his mouth. "Look…"

"What is that?", she whispered.

"Group therapy!", he laughed quietly.

"Excuse me", Lily turned around. "we're having a session here."

The real counsellor approached the toys, smirking. "Something tells me that you were listening at the door this afternoon."

The four year-old covered her mouth with her hands, unsuccessfully attempting to hide a guilty smile. "Just a little…"

"And I also think it's time for your patients to go home into their box and try out your advice now."

"No, not yet!", she objected in a whiny voice.

"Yes, now, because it's time for you to go to bed."

"But I'm not tired at all!"

"You will be once you're in bed. Come on, it's getting late."

"But Kiara was just about to have a…a break-through!"

"Kiara can have her break-through tomorrow.", Will threw in from the back of the room. "All children have to go to bed now, there's no use arguing about it!" Lily got up very slowly and uttered some obviously discontent noises.

"Go clean up your toys, I'll be right there. When you're all ready for bed, I'll teach you a great goodnight song." That improved the little girl's mood a lot, and she was very quick at picking up her stuffed animals and bringing them back into her room.

"Uh, Deanna, about this morning…" He scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry if I came across too controlling, I was just really worried about this Manhari's behavior…and maybe a little mad because you were so much on his side. Even after all of the severe medical emergencies we've been through, it felt scary to get a message from sickbay without knowing what had happened. So I may have overreacted to your request for free access."

"But you were right with that." That was not the answer he would have expected. Was she actually agreeing with him? "I did underestimate the danger resulting from his uncontrollable behavior. Your precaution was justified, even if you really wouldn't listen to my arguments. However, I said some awful things to you that I didn't mean. They just slipped out somehow, I'm so sorry."

"Apology accepted.", he smiled. The reconciliation was a welcome relief after an argument, but something about the way his imzadi was looking at him told him that not everything was fine now. She appeared somewhat tense, with a troubled expression in her eyes.

"Is there something else, Dea?"

"No…no, there isn't."

"Are you sure? You're the one who always wants to talk about everything."

"I was just thinking…what got me mad this morning was not your order, primarily, it wasn't a question of you invading my area of competence either. But ever since you're captain, things have changed so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy on this ship, and with Lily now, everything should be so perfect. I'm grateful for having her, and feel fulfilled in many ways."

"But?"

"But things have changed so much, and sometimes, just in one of those little moments when you're sitting somewhere by yourself, it's still hard for me to adjust to this situation."

"It's the same for me. Every once in a while, thoughts of the past occur and, in spite of you, I feel lonely. We've lost many friends, Deanna. I'm not an expert on this area, but I guess it's normal to feel like that. Why did you never tell me about it?"

"It just doesn't seem like one of the things to be talked about.", she shrugged. "And it's not just the loneliness…Do you notice the difference from our life on the Enterprise? Everything used to be so exciting, full of passion and life. Honestly, I wanted our relationship to move to the next level so badly, it couldn't stay fun and games forever, I wanted us to move on, but I hadn't expected grey routine to catch up with us this quickly."

"You know, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. But it's true, I have noticed how…we each got very occupied with our jobs that have become an everyday duty."

"My only concern is that in a few years, we may well be living side by side, but not together, without even knowing how this distance came about. That we will fall back to being friends, no, not friends like we were, but less than that."

Now, he finally understood her point. "That won't happen if we don't let it! It's in our hands, and I have no intention of messing this up. You can object that I ruined everything in the past, you can accuse me of spending too much time on the bridge, Deanna, but I won't take the blame for everything!"

"I wasn't trying to blame you! I want to save this, don't you see? I want us to be family, and damn it, I want things to work this time!"

Her emotional exclamation was not hitting deaf ears, Will reached for her hand. "Now that's something we can agree on."

His wife took the hand, and squeezed it. "I'm sorry, I know it's terrible of me to talk like that on a day like this."

"Hey, I asked for it.", he grinned, merely glad that everything was out.

Suddenly, there was a hissing sound of a door opening which made them turn around.

"Oh, you got ready all by yourself?"

Lily nodded proudly. "Can we sing now?"

Deanna went with her. "Sure, honey."

* * *

"Byron, Byron…what am I supposed to do with you? I trusted you with everything, you knew the deal, but you messed up." He simply looked at the younger man, a mixture of pity and spite reflecting in his grey eyes. Jenkins decided not to give any answer, because he simply knew the admiral too well to be daring.

"Give me one reason, just **one** good reason not to sack you right away!" Alas, there was the mood swing, the lightning of wrath he had already expected to hit him sometime.

"I did my best, Sir, it was all I could do."

"Did I not make myself clear? Did you **not** know what was expected of you? Was it too much I demanded?"

The commander bit his cheek, trying hard not to blow up on the higher ranked officer. How he hated his melodramatic monologues! He was so pathetic, a bitter, old man, bipolar and what not, attempting to give his awful life sense. And this was exactly what kept Byron smiling on the inside, and calm on the outside. He knew that Wilson was about to fall.

"You were supposed to limit Riker's knowledge, keep him from crossing the line, and make it clear to him that it wouldn't be…advisable to raise his voice again against one of his admirable superiors. Now why didn't you do that?" The volume of his voice had increased drastically near the ending.

"I made myself very clear to him! I could hardly have threatened him for his life now, could I?", Byron snapped angrily. "He did hear about the Inugia incident eventually, but that wasn't my fault! And you know he would never have been able to get any evidence just by that. How was I supposed to know that the coward would talk?"

"Common sense, Jenkins, common sense! He's an ensign who followed a commander's orders though he knew they were sort of wrong. Now that commander suddenly left and he's alone on this ship and finds himself in the middle of an interrogation, with senior officers promising him whatever if he tells them the names of the thinkers, because he was just a poor, mislead young officer following orders who had no idea of the huge, evil conspiracy.", he described cynically. "Is it that hard to predict what he's going to do?"

The named commander ran a hand through his sun blonde hair. "Alright, I underestimated the situation a little. That still doesn't change that they have no proof whatsoever of our plans, not even an idea. Bicami shouldn't be a problem, he's not exactly credible. Don't worry, Admiral, no one can afford to make a direct accusation at the current state of the evidence."

"Still…I have a feeling we've overlooked something.", Wilson said thoughtfully. 'That would be paranoia.', Jenkins commented mentally. "Have you deleted **all** records of communication with the Keionians?"

"I got that done days ago."

"Then take care that Riker doesn't get anything else to hold against us. We can't get him kicked out now because he has already drawn too much attention on himself."

"I'd have a different suggestion to make.", he smirked.

"Well?"

"The Keionian Inji is a well armed ship…"

"No!"

"But why not? The alliance with the Keionians went downhill anyway…there would be no way to trace it back to us, and I'm sure the Iniji would be willing to assist us on that matter."

"I'm certain of that!", Wilson spat out sarcastically. "But there's more than 800 people up there!"

"Oh, so now you're getting scrupulous? Now, after all that has ha-"

"Some of which was never intended! Besides that, this is not some insignificant little Andorian settlement. Another attack would finally wake the sleeping dogs. Find another way to dispose of the accusation."

"Yes, Sir.", he replied annoyed, before turning around to leave.

"Oh, and Byron-do me a favor and try to wash that arrogant grin off your face."

"I'll do my best.", he muttered through clenched teeth. What a fool!

* * *

"Remind me again what we're doing here." Isabella jumped at the sudden voice behind her back.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

She laughed. "You couldn't scare me if you tried! And just for your information, **I** was just calculating the perfect angle which will hide us from the view of another ship while enabling us to watch them so we can set a trap on the Danado moon. I don't know what **you** were doing though, Commander."

"Oh, so now we're at 'Commander' again? What's the matter, Lieutenant Parandecho? Do you regret last night?"

"You're asking me that? After you slipped out of my quarters without a word and pretended nothing happened this morning?" She looked undeniably sexy when she was mad, Eric had to admit. Her accent even strengthened that impression.

"Hold on, that was in front of the others. I thought you didn't want them to know about us?"

"I wanted us to remain professional on duty, but that was before our shift, Eric. You really didn't have to act like a block of ice around me!"

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to give you that impression." He smiled apologetically and put his hand on her arm, but she moved away from him. "Will you let me make up for it? Say…at dinner tonight, 2000 hours? We could go to my quarters, and it will be your turn to walk out on me." Apparently, she really enjoyed to keep him waiting for an answer.

They entered the turbo lift together, and gave a brief nod to the Quinx who was already in it. Eric could hardly say anything in front of him.

"Bridge!"

"Deck 9!"

Finally, Isabella raised her voice with a coquettish smile. "I think that would be acceptable, Commander."

* * *

"Everything's still clear."

"No ships?"

"Absolutely no one."

"How long have we been waiting here?", Deanna asked, since her bridge watch had only begun an hour previously.

"Six hours and twenty-four minutes, Sir.", Ensign Bates answered promptly.

"May I suggest something, Commander?", Mahiko remarked politely.

"Sure, go ahead."

"We have received orders to fly to the Omega 3 moon after six hours. Apparently, there is really nothing going on here apart from the regular transports. We should move on."

"We are going to move on in precisely five minutes. The Omega 3 moon will still be there then."

"But there's no point in staying here any longer. Shouldn't we rather follow our orders…Sir?"

"I heard your request, Commander.", she replied friendly, but firmly. "We are waiting for the last transport flight." Something was holding her back here. It seemed hard to accept that there was nothing fowl going on down on the surface of the Danado moon. This was the largest of the three natural resources of unpolar trilithium, and after all that they had found out, it didn't make sense that no Keionians were present. Had they been warned? Or was it just her own, suspicious mind playing tricks on her? Watching the grey star ship leave on screen, her heart was filled with sorrow, as two other possibilities came to mind. Their suspicion might be entirely mislead, or, even worse, they might never find out.

"Is the connection to the sonde working?"

"Yes, we'll receive ten data updates in two minutes." This was the only way they were able to have a look on Danado while observing the other planets.

"Commander Mahiko, set course on the Omega 3 moon, full impulse." The named moon was lying in the same solar system, not far from the other one, so they would be there within minutes.

"Aye, Sir."

The counsellor leaned back in the commanding chair, hands folded on her lap. This was going to be a long day. What exactly did they expect to find there? A Keionian team, drilling resources of trilithium, or stealing them from Federation transport flights? Perhaps even a Federation ship trading trilithium with the Keionians against- yes, against what? For each answer they had found, three more questions seemed to arise. At least the enemy had a shaped face now. It only appeared tragic that it should be Manhari's.

Commander Saunders entered the bridge, trading places with Mahiko after a short, quiet exchange of information. Lieutenant Cantonwine kept his post, Cazca would not arrive until 1300 hours. It had to be around 1245 now, Deanna thought. Will would pick up Lily from daycare later, her shift would end at 1900 hours. She'd have to contact Mr. Greene first thing after that to set up a new appointment, because of the one he had missed this morning. His depression was not getting any better, which worried her. Maybe he would really need to be treated with medication, although she had rather hoped to be able to avoid that since he suffered from no organic disorder. She would have to coordinate a new treatment with Doctor Jay'Cel. Discussion therapy as the only method was simply not sufficient in this case.

Commander Troi was pulled out of these thoughts rapidly by Saunders' voice. "We are approaching the orbit of Omega 3, Sir."

"Any other ships around?"

"No."

"On screen." A red and black, vulcanic moon showed up before them. The surface looked anything but calm, the environment being lethal to any form of life.

"Vital signs, Ensign?"

"None." Just as expected. Yes, everything felt dead down there, or rather: not present. Now, all they could do was wait.

"Lieutenant Cantonwine, try to get the schedule for any planned drilling or flights to this planet today."

"Aye, Sir." There was a short pause, merely the quiet tapping of fingers on buttons could be heard. "None are planned today. The next ship arriving here is going to be the Nelson, and that won't be until the day after tomorrow."

Deanna frowned. "How long are the usual gaps between patrol flights along this sector?"

"It should be about four days.", Eric replied. "I can find it out for you, if you want me to."

"That would be good." Four days would be enough to do a lot around here, when no one was looking.

The second officer left his seat to a lieutenant and moved to the central computer at the back of the dark grey bridge, which was close to Cantonwine's position, behind the five leather chairs in the middle.

"Commander, there's a ship right in front of us!", Ensign Gwendolyn Bates shouted, obvisouly shocked.

"On screen!"

It was hard for the Betazoid to believe, but there really was a comparatively small, triangular ship right in front of them. It was entirely black except for the red sides, which appeared to be shielded by some kind of force field. The counsellor had never seen that kind of ship, and, what concerned her more, was only able to sense faint life forms on it without receiving anything specific. It felt like trying to grab something in the darkness, knowing it was there.

"Try hailing them on all open channels, every frequency." She pushed herself up from the chair, stepping closer toward the screen.

"They're not responding…no wonder, they have their shields up!"

"Red alert! Keep trying though…"

"Sir, they are **not** responding!" Some of the lights in the ceiling had changed colors, turning red, they started to blink. A howling noise resonated regularly through the whole ship.

"Put our shields up!" She didn't feel comfortable at all with racing into a battle like that, but her order had barely come in time. In a matter of seconds, a red beam of light hit them as an unknown weapon. The Titan shook, with several officers losing their balance.

"Prepare photone torpedo! Shields?"

"At 78 percent. The backboa-" Before Cantonwine was able to finish, they were hit by another shot, much harder than the first one. People stumbled into each other, the bridge a mere chaos.

"Shields down to 43! Life support on decks 18, 19, and 20 has failed."

"Evacuate…", Deanna gasped. "fire photone torpedo, now!" The blue torpedo hit the other ship, but they appeared to absorb a part of its energy somehow.

"Their shields are down to 68…no, 75…recovering quickly…82!"

The doors of the turbo lift opened, and the captain ran onto the bridge. Regardless of it, the counsellor ordered "Escape maneuvre, 80 degrees down!". Even the few officers who had managed to remain standing before fell down now, some of them hitting the consoles painfully.

"What did you do that for?", Will yelled, holding onto a wooden barrier.

"They're absorbing the energy of our weapons! It's useless to fight them." For a short moment, they had free space in front of them.

"Warp Nine!"

"They're keeping up with us…no, wait, they're getting hit by a torpedo!" Suddenly, the Titan slowed down and flew a sharp curve, turning by 180 degrees. This had to be one of Commander Saunders' brighter moments at the helm, but no one had the time to praise it. "It's the Klingon Kreth'Har! They're attacking...the other ship's shields are down to 65!"

"Start photone torpedo, now!", the captain ordered.

With weapons from two sources hitting the red ship, it was unable to drain energy quickly enough to recover. At the third torpedo the Titan launched, it exploded into millions of pieces. For a moment, everyone simply stared out into the black space, shocked, shattered, unable to perceive what had just happened. The red alert had stopped somewhere during the last minutes, a damaged mechanism keeping it from working. The lights were fluttering, filling the bridge with a humming sound.

Deanna's first action was to look around for injured crewmates, but one by one, most got up from the floor, helped by their colleagues. Her sense of Will was strong, he seemed okay except for a bleeding cut on the side of his forehead, which relieved her a lot.

He was the first to break the silence. "Damage?"

"Unknown, there are reports coming in from all decks.", Lieutenant Cantonwine answered, his voice a little shaky. "Countless injuries, backboard impulse damaged, life support has broken down on six decks…the warp core is intact."

"Deaths?", the captain muttered silently.

"Unknown. The Kreth'Har is hailing us."

"On screen." He tucked at his shirt, attempting to look half in order.

"I am Captain Rotk from the Kreth'Har.", a big, male Klingon introduced himself. "Is your ship in need of aid?"

"Captain Riker from the Titan. You have already helped us a great deal, Captain Rotk, I don't know how this would have ended for us without you…"

"You would have died."

"Yes. Thanks to the Kreth'Har, we didn't."

"An old proverb says 'Watch your friend die, and you are not worthy of life. Die for your friend, and he will keep you in honor.'"

"Your service will not be forgotten."

The Klingon nodded. "Who were these people on the other ship?"

"We are not sure, they never communicated with us, but simply attacked. Our ship has been damaged badly, I doubt that we are able to reach the next star base. It would be a great help, Captain, if you could tow us."

Rotk was obviously displeased with what they were asking for, but did not object, to Deanna's surprise. "That would be arrangable."

"Thank you." The Klingon nodded and cut the connection.

Will stepped back and sat down in his chair, finally noticing the blood running down his cheek. "Any new information on the number of injuries?"

"38 severe, 251 minor reported injuries. 4 casualties."

The captain swallowed, this was the part of the job that never got any easier. "Who?"

"Ensign Andrew Cunningham, Ociara, Lieutenant Isabella Parandecho, and Martina Welker." A stab of pain seemed to cut the bridge. Some of the people present had known their deceased crewmates.

'Two civilists.', was all that Deanna could think of. Not that the death of an officer was less terrible, but at least he or she had known the risk, they had picked this as their job.

Will took a deep breath before speaking again. "Announcement to everyone…"

* * *


	27. Chapter TwentySix: The Heavy Load of Gui...

The tired woman looked down at Lily, who had finally fallen asleep on her lap. Carefully, she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, away from the tear-stained face. At least nothing had happened to her, nothing visible. That girl seemed to have an amazing amount of luck.

Deanna wanted her so much to grow up in a safe world, in a place where they wouldn't have to be afraid. But the truth was that no such place existed, she had come to realize. This universe was not safe, or fair for that matter. The best she could do was prepare her daughter for it. But was that enough?

She looked at her husband, whose blue eyes were staring blankly into space and decided to break the companionable silence. "It wasn't your fault."

"Who said it was?"

"No one, but you're blaming yourself."

"No, I'm just thinking. I know what you're going to tell me, Deanna, how there's nothing that I could have done to prevent it from happening, how no one could have predicted this would happen...but that's all just great catchphrases. I know them, okay? I know."

"I'm not so sure of that. You don't know how much of them is true."

"Stop telling me what I do and do not know about myself.", Will replied monotonously. "Something bad has happened, but it was way worse for other people on this ship. It was under my command, but it wasn't the first time this has happened."

"You used to be a much better actor.", she simply stated matter of factly.

"Maybe, but isn't it obvious that there's no use in talking this over? No one can change what happened. If I feel like having a good cry about it, I'll let you know."

"Okay." She stopped pushing him, trying to pick up her green cup of tea from the table without waking Lily.

Will handed it to her. "What about you? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

There was a long pause, only the stirring of the spoon and barely audible breathing could be heard. The silence felt good, in a way, it had a calming, soothing effect. A mild smell of dried fruit emanated from the steaming tea.

"I should never have lead us onto this mission.", Will suddenly admitted. "This whole idea of setting a trap was irresponsible and not thought through, we'd have been lost if that Klingon ship hadn't come to our help. I knew what had happened to the Silvershot, and I should have known that this was what would also happen to us if we found a Keionian ship. But no, instead I started that heroic trip again, 'let's just fly there and solve this by ourselves'. I told the people on this ship to disobey orders from the Headquarters to track down some criminals, no, not just some criminals, but an offensive people."

She studied his face with a gentle, but too neutral expression on her own. He was so angry at everyone right now that there was hardly anything to be said that could change his mind. "Well, what do you think?"

"I think", the counsellor and wife(borders were melting here) started, "that you are being pretty egocentrical. The people on this ship do have a mind of their own, and they never would have chosen to follow you if they didn't trust you."

"That's my point, I misused their trust!"

"No, but you still have their trust, a trust which was earned. The officers working here could have decided not to obey your orders anytime, because they knew that they weren't quite…legitimate. You never lied to them at any point. As far as I recall, most everyone was in favor of this plan. We're all responsible for what happened."

"Like that makes it any better for the families of the people who died!"

She shook her head sadly. "It doesn't, but you don't carry the sole guilt for it, whether this mission was justified or not. You didn't kill them, the Keionians did."

"It doesn't **matter**!", he objected vehemently. His gaze shifted to the girl on Deanna's lap. "Let's not talk about this now. I'll bring her to bed." With that, her husband scooped up Lily, careful not to wake her. The child stirred, but her eyes remained closed.

Deanna looked after them. Everything would be alright in time, or so she hoped.

* * *

"Captain's log, Stardate 37649.4. I've spoken with Admiral Janeia again this morning, he claims that there are no records of my conversation with Admiral Wilson." He got up from his chair, strolling around the ready room for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts.

"I have no idea how that's possible. I talked to him…I know I did…I remember sitting here, telling him about how we couldn't get to the Klingon Empire in time because our away team was trapped down on Keiona. The next day, I told him that they were all safe on board again, and reported their contact with the Keionians. But somehow, the records are not there anymore. I suppose Admiral Wilson would be able to find some way to delete them. But why would he be protecting the Keionians like this? I know he's involved in this, the moment I talk to him, I just **know** that something's wrong, that Wilson- no, Computer, delete last sentence."

"Sentence deleted.", a monotone voice confirmed.

Will sat back down and rubbed his eyes. "I told Admiral Janeia about yesterday's attack. He believes that it was the Keionians, but I'm not sure in how far I still have his trust. I'm supposed to 'keep it down', he is going to set up a conference with the other admirals. I don't know…I guess he thinks I lied. Sometimes, I don't even know what to believe anymore myself. For now, we're just hoping to get everything fixed at the star base. After that, we will simply follow our usual assignments because there's nothing else we can do. Computer, end log."

* * *

"Come in.", she muttered. She had already heard someone's steps approaching on the old stone tiles. This historical building surely had its advantages.

The heavy, dark wooden door opened, and a brunette woman in her late twenties entered the room with a hesitant smile.

"Admiral", she addressed her. "A confidential communiqué for you has just come in. It seems to be urgent."

"Who is it?", Janeway asked with a sigh, looking up from her work.

"It's Mr. Palerzo, the Nibba III's Prime Minister. He appears to be rather…outraged." How she loved that typical Starfleet euphemism!

"Fine, transmit the conversation to my office. Thank you, Caroline."

The secretary nodded and left the room, quick steps descending in the hallway. What could Palerzo want? She had only talked to him once, briefly, and had no idea what to expect.

After about two minutes, the small view screen on her desk flickered, with the yellowish face of a middle aged man showing up.

"Prime Minister Palerzo", Janeway greeted with a feigned smile, "what can I do for you?"

"Admiral, we have to talk about our arrangement. Did you really think we would let you get away with…fooling us like this?"

"It would be helpful if you could tell me what arrangement you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I mean! We were granted free administration over the Omega 3 moon. Our part of the contract was fulfilled, yours is still due! Apparently, our definition of 'free administration' is very different. Two of our transports were attacked in flying to the moon. There were no livers."

"No…livers?"

"People who still lived after the attack." Survivors! "We cannot go there again. Your trade was worthless for us!"

"I still don't know what 'trade' you are talking about. The Omega 3 moon in the beta sector is under the administration of the Federation of Planets. What did you want there and who attacked you?"

"I do not know who attacked our ships, but they were destroyed! You do not need to know what we were looking for there…You sold us a moon that we cannot reach!"

"Mr. Palerzo, I have no records of such a trade." Was this a trick? And if, what did he hope to reach by his complaint?

"I do, Admiral. See this?" He held up a data padd and skipped down to the end of the text, which, as she was barely able to make out, was signed with a virtual fingerprint above a name.

"I can't confirm the authenticity of this from here. But supposing this is in fact a contract, what exactly was arranged in it and who signed?"

"You really don't know about this?" Palerzo had a doubting look on his face.

"No, Prime Minister, I don't." This conversation was starting to annoy her.

"As I said, this treaty granted us free administration over the Omega 3 moon, in exchange for a little…disaster."

"Could you specify the term 'disaster'?"

"Pardon me?"

"What did you mean by 'disaster'?"

"Well, we arranged a little crisis of the environment here. Fuel polluted most of our ocean, we really took a risk, and called a Federation ship for help."

"Which ship?"

"The name was…Titan, I think."

"Let me get this straight: You deliberately caused an environmental crisis on your planet just to call one of our star ships for help?" The admiral was quite shocked, out of all the strange situations she had come to face during her career, this was one of the least understandable because it seemed so…idiotic, in a way. There was no obvious purpose in endangering your planet this way. "But why?"

The man from Nibba raised his upper lip, which he always did while he was pondering about a question. "We didn't ask. You see, the trade seemed profitable for us, it was done very quickly."

"Who offered you this exchange?"

"That was a Commander Jhevel. He also signed everything." Jhevel-didn't sound familiar to her.

"I will do my best to find him, Prime Minister. Meanwhile, I'm going to send a scientific team to your planet to verify the authenticity of that contract."

"Good.", Palerzo answered, smiling slyly. "Everything will be settled then?"

"Yes, you can count on that. I'm not promising you the Omega 3 moon though. Even if the contract should prove to be true, no commander had the authorization to set it up. It will be invalid."

* * *

Troi was sitting at a table in "New World" by herself. She liked this warm, social place because it distracted her from everyday worries. It was always full of people, yet you could still remain by yourself. Not bothered, but not alone either.

The unusual ceiling, which consisted of some indefinable, crystal-like material reflected the bright colors of civil clothes as well as the less intense ones of the uniforms. A large observation window provided free sight on the star base, and silver vases were centered on the white and blue tables, each carrying a unique exotic flower. The matching chairs were plain, but comfortable, safely standing on the white floor.

A short bar lined the left side of the room, which was smaller than the old "Ten Forward", but had an aesthetic interior design. The lively conversations and laughing from groups of friends or couples at other tables created an informal, familiar atmosphere.

Deanna, however, remained silent, picking at her tomatoes without actually taking notice of them. The salad she had ordered was nearly untouched because her mind had wandered off.

This passiveness was interrupted by the first officer approaching her table. "Counsellor?"

She looked up at the blonde woman. Should she ask her to sit down? If the counsellor was being honest, she just wanted to be left alone at the moment.

"I just wanted to give you the new duty schedule." Ashley handed her a data padd. "It looks like the reparations are going to be finished in less than twelve hours from now. You will have bridge watch in two days, alpha shift."

"That soon? After what happened, I got a lot of additional patients. My schedule is full in the next few days, would it be possible for me to switch bridge watch?"

The commander frowned, of course she didn't like the idea of having to change everything again. "I'm sorry, but some of us just have to squeeze in an extra shift.", she explained in her British accent. "Commander Saunders is supervising the reparations, I gave him a day off after that because he seems to be unwell, all engineers are occupied…"

"I understand.", she nodded. Why did the thought of taking command of the bridge again seem so terrifying?

Davenport's expression grew milder. "Well, I…I suppose I could switch shifts with you. It doesn't really matter at what time I do mine."

"Are you sure? I don't want to-"

"I'm positive.", Ashley interrupted. "But you'll have bridge watch on Friday then, gamma shift." She seemed to have something else to say, but didn't get it out.

"Okay, I will, thank you." She smiled gratefully. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"I read the report.", the first officer told her suddenly. "There was no tactical mistake. You acted correctly."

With these words, Ashley turned around, leaving the other woman to her thoughts.

* * *


	28. Chapter TwentySeven: Finding Home

"So how does it feel?", he asked, making the bed.

"How does what feel?" Deanna was standing in front of the mirror, applying discreet, reddish lipstick.

"Turning one year older."

"One year farther from youth, but not any different.", she shrugged. He had it coming, it was time for the short, annual negative remark about aging again. Getting older didn't really bother her though, she simply enjoyed complaining about it.

"42 is not **that** old."

"Try not to be too uplifting.", she laughed.

"So when are you going to retire?"

His wife glared at him. "Careful, you're walking on thin ice. You're not 20 anymore yourself, and not exactly the right person to tease me about it."

"Are you calling me old?"

"No, because an old man wouldn't be this childish." Smart answer, he had to admit.

"You know that I love you, right?"

"You mean there's a heart beneath this shell of pride and jokes?"

"I'm afraid so.", he sighed dramatically, approaching her. "Attempts to remove it remained unsuccessful."

Deanna smiled affectionately and fixed a part of his hair, which had been sticking up. "I know it. I love you too, imzadi." She kissed him, when suddenly, the doors hissed open and someone else rushed in.

"Yuck!" Kissing did not find the girl's approval very often.

"Good morning, sweetheart.", the Betazoid said, ignoring the previous comment.

"'morning. Oh…oh, happy birthday!" Lily ran towards her and gave her a hug, suddenly remembering why she had come initially.

"Thank you. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, but you have to come open your presents now!"

"Not before you're all dressed."

"But I **am** dressed!", she exclaimed.

Will couldn't hide a grin when he looked at her styling. Her red shirt did not match the blue shorts at all, besides the fact that she could never have worn these beach clothes here. She was barefoot and her uncombed hair fell on her shoulders loosely. "We can see that, but it's not time for shore leave yet, honey. Let's go get you ready for daycare."

* * *

Farrech entered the room and kneeled down, within a safe distance from her leader. "Rinfe is asking for an audience, Roxhia Tishaya."

"I will give him one in time.", she replied full of dignity, allowing her servant to look up at her.

"Dorosa", she addressed the roxhia formally, "he has been waiting outside for two menkets. It is a cold day, his information seems important."

"I will give him an audience when I think it the right time.", Tishaya answered friendly, but making clear that she was not willing to discuss the matter any further.

"Yes, Roxhia." Farrech crossed her hands over her thighs in an obedient gesture and bowed her head, before standing up to carry the message outside to the guardian.

* * *

"Happy birthday!", Lily proclaimed festively, handing over her gift. It was wrapped in a very fancy way, colorful, with a large ribbon on it.

"Aw, I hardly want to destroy that."

"But you **have** to to get to the inside." She started playing with her braid impatiently, a proud smile on her lips.

Deanna unwrapped the present quickly, discovering a medium sized wooden box inside. It was decorated with shells and glittering stones, which had a slightly uneven distribution, but to the person who had been gifted with it, the box was gorgeous. "Oh Lily, it's so beautiful! Did you make that?"

"I didn't make the box, but I glued the shells on it. You can put pictures into it, or hair stuff."

"I will definitely use it well, thank you!" She bent down and kissed the little girl on the cheek, stroking her hair lovingly.

"Nice job.", Will remarked, observing the decorated wood more closely. "I think there's something inside of it."

Deanna opened the box and found a simple piece of paper, neatly folded. Her daughter, however, seemed quite uncomfortable. She ran to her bedroom for no obvious reason. What was that all about?

The surprised woman opened the sheet of paper, while Will had gone after the child. When her eyes hit the paper, there was a long, blank moment before she began to understand. She was holding a drawing of three people, one of which was supposed to be her husband, one herself, and the short one in the middle Lily. They were holding hands, a cute picture it may have been, but Deanna's eyes were fixed on the child-like, capital letters. Since when was her daughter able to write? _HAPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY_, it said.

She repeated the words in her mind, and slowly, very slowly, realized the impact. But there was no time for her to be moved because the other two were coming back.

Deanna approached Lily slowly and went down to meet her eye-level. "That's a wonderful picture. Did you leave because of this?"

Lily nodded, not looking at her. "Why?"

"I thought…everyone has a mommy or daddy. I don't remember them. And I thought…are you like my real mom and dad now forever? Because I want you to be."

Deanna put her hands on the girl's shoulders. "An adoption is forever, I thought we explained that to you."

"I just wanted to be sure.", she shrugged, her voice decreasing in volume with each word. "Because then…is it okay if I call you mommy and daddy?"

Will looked startled, apparently, this question had really caught him off guard. After a few seconds though, an amazed smile curled up the corners of his lips. He was clearly too surprised for words.

"I'd be very happy about that.", Deanna replied.

"Really?", she asked, her face lighting up.

"Yes, really."

"Me too.", Will finally got out. "If that's what you want."

"Of course I do, daddy."

* * *

"Doctor, when can I go home?", Manhari wondered. "I'm so alone here."

"I know, my friend.", Jay sighed. "Look, I'll ask the captain about it today." 'Once again!', he thought. The Keionian was not only becoming less and less cooperative, he also seemed to grow depressed in this captivity, which did not surprise Jay'Cel at all. More than one lonely month behind a forcefield would have upset anyone.

The doctor saw no obvious reason to keep him here any longer. They had hardly been able to get any significant information from him, all that they knew was that he was an uneducated epamari, who had been oppressed and trained to follow orders to kill. The warrior knew of no greater mission, plan, or alliances.

There were no charges to be held against him because he hadn't been involved in the Inugia incident or the attack on the Silvershot, although his protective job around the settlement on Fepris II had been a direct consequence of the former.

His own people didn't seem very interested in him, the last month had actually been pretty quiet. To Jay'Cel, it seemed inhumane to keep him a prisoner here any longer than necessary. But what were they supposed to do with him? Approaching Keiona seemed too risky, and they could not just have left him somewhere else.

"Will he let me go home?"

"I don't know. Do you miss your comrades?"

"Yes. I'm alone here." Manhari's mood dropped, he kept fingering one of his old medals.

"Ah, we'll find a way to solve this, you'll see." He patted the epamari's shoulder. "Until then, I'll be here, so you're not really alone."

"Do you think Thalia and Crester are waiting for me?"

"Who are they?"

"My mates.", he smiled.

"You have two girlfriends?" The medical officer smirked, one more polygamist society.

"Yes."

"Well, it depends, do they love you?"

"They say I'm good at sex." This was certainly very direct, a little too direct for Jay'Cel's taste. The Andorian was intimidated and didn't quite know what to answer. Frankly, he didn't have the slightest interest in Manhari's sex life.

"If they care about you a whole lot, they will wait."

Their conversation was interrupted by an announcement. "Attention all senior officers, please report to conference room one right away."

* * *

"We cannot keep him here forever!"

"Releasing him would be a safety risk not just to this ship, but also to the Federation.", Cazca stuck to his opinion.

The doctor stared at him with what would have been amusement on a less serious matter. "Lieutenant, did you ever talk to this man? I assure you that he is not a spy collecting secret information here. And even if he were, our security cell did not really provide a whole lot of inside into our technology."

"He may be much more intelligent than we think. His naivety could be feigned."

"It isn't.", Deanna threw in. "I agree with Doctor Jay'Cel, Manhari is not a spy because he wouldn't be capable of creating a profile of Starfleet, or humans from the empiric flood of information he receives."

The first officer frowned. "On another note, the Keionians seem to assume him dead, and our ships are supervising Fepris II. Who knows how they are going to react to finding out that he has been our captive for so long…it could provoke another aggressive strike."

Riker nodded, looking at the map of planets on the screen behind his chair. "We have to consider that the Federation has finally succeeded in setting up negotiations with Keiona's political figureheads for next week. They will do their best to find a peaceful solution, but any provocation could rush us into a war at the moment."

"It would be more fatal for us if they found out about Manhari in a few months or years. Releasing a prisoner at this point is a large concession from our side, regarding the deaths they have caused.", the counsellor explained. "This symbolic value for the negotiations would be lost later."

Eric, who had been staring at the table quietly, rubbing his knuckles, looked up, at the verge of losing control. "We don't need to make a concession." His gaze was filled with pure hate. "**They** attacked two of our ships, an outpost and the Andorian settlement, **they** killed more than 2.000 people, many of them civilians, and **they** did all that simply for territorial profit. They're lucky if we don't start a war!"

The other six officers present looked at him silently, taken aback. The conference room was filled with an awkward pause, before the captain spoke again. He understood Saunders completely, could relate to his desire for revenge. "It's not a matter of what treatment they deserve, or what would be justified. The Federation has no interest in another war, and with an opponent this strong, there could be millions of casualties on both sides. The battles would take years, or even decades, and in the end, both sides would lose." Will heard the words that were coming out of his own mouth, but at the same time, had a hard time believing that he was actually saying this. "However, the diplomacy is not in our hands. We need to decide what to do with the epamari now."

Jay'Cel leaned forward. „We can't keep him locked up here fore-"

"And why the hell not!", the African-American commander shouted. "He didn't have to help build a secret settlement on Federation territory!"

"Commander!", Riker admonished him. "Restrain yourself, please."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…sorry, doc." Slightly confused by his own outburst, he looked at the Andorian officer apologetically.

"That's okay."

"I also think that we should release the Keionian, since it could be helpful to the negotiations.", the captain concluded. "Lieutenant Chavelle, do you have any suggestions?"

Sarah turned her head quickly. "Well, in order not to get too close to the planet, it would probably be best to beam Manhari down on a neighboring planet, and since contact with the Zifre would be counter-productive, Selprana IV is the best choice. Keiona's sensors should be able to detect a fluctuation on ionic basis. I suggest we program a fluctuating pattern into a simple kation emitter. The free radicals can be located easily if Manhari carries the emitter with him."

"Prepare everything for it.", the captain ordered. "Commander Davenport, set course on Selprana IV. Mr. Saunders, I'd like to have a word with you."

* * *


	29. Chapter TwentyEight: The Perfect Order

„Private Log, Deanna Troi, Stardate 37682.", she said even before sitting down in the armchair. "Let's see, our Keionian guest was transported to Selprana IV five days ago. Our sensors show that he was picked up from there by someone…some ship. We stayed within a safe distance from the planet to avoid contact, but the impulses show that the kation emitter was transported back to Keiona. I can only hope that Manhari is doing better there than he was here." She crossed her legs, leaning back to study the ceiling with mild interest.

"As an officer, I know that it was the right decision to bring him back there…I just have a bad feeling about sending someone to a world where he'll be facing mistreatment, and indirectly supporting that society by doing them a favor. Well, he wanted to go back."

Deanna shrugged as if the computer could see it, taking a moment to think. "The question is how he is going to re-integrate into the epamari structures now, after his time here. Everything that used to be self-evident to him started to crumble because of the pressure from our side. His personality changed, not so much out of conviction but out of confusion. I wonder how his comrades are going to react to that…"

"We aren't receiving any progress reports about the negotiations on Liphew territory, they're keeping us uninformed. Maybe there is no progress to be reported…but I prefer to think of it otherwise." She sighed, bowing her head. "Well, they got the best diplomats we have for the conference, and the team from the U.S.S. Babylon are very qualified, too."

Her glance hit the big box sitting on the living room table, which inevitably wiped the frown away and replaced it with a smirk. "The great Ambassador Troi has decided that I must change the way I dress, and sent me two expensive looking gowns for my birthday, along with a painting by the still unknown Baaht Kerell-beautiful Betazoid artwork. The clothes are rather…flamboyant, attention catching- well, you know mother, there's no taste like hers."

"Lily loves them!", she laughed. "She keeps strutting in front of the mirror in the matching shoes."

"Mother keeps asking about her, she's so excited about having a grandchild…I suppose she'll render us a visit soon. That's going to be the one and only occasion to wear one of these gowns…"

Deanna was interrupted by a short, bleeping noise coming from the door. "Computer, end log…come in!"

She smiled at the blue-eyed woman entering her office. "Hello, Aminia, you're a little early, but-"

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting?"

"No, that's fine, I was just taking a break…good timing, actually. Take a seat."

* * *

"Captain, there's a communiqué from Starfleet Head Quarters coming in."

Will pushed himself up from the chair, pulling down his uniform shirt. "On screen."

"They're requesting a private connection."

"Transfer it to my ready room, then. Commander, you have the bridge."

"Aye, Sir."

After a brief nod to Mahiko, he left the bridge. Sitting down behind his desk, he opened the commlink, causing the face of Admiral Janeway to show up on screen.

"Captain Riker, it's a pleasure." She smirked as if aware of something…and he wasn't quite sure if that was a good or a bad thing. However, it was a genuine expression.

"The pleasure is mine, Admiral."

"I have some important information for you, and ask you beforehand not to share it with more people than a small staff, and only if it is absolutely necessary, because we would like to treat the subject-how should I say this-'discreetly'." Was he mistaken or was there actually a sarcastic undertone in her voice?

"Understood, Admiral."

"We are currently examining the environmental crisis on Nibba III and its **potential** connections to the Inugia incident." The captain was speechless, this was the exact opposite of what he would have expected. There was no reason for them to change their opinion about what he had said…unless the situation had changed, unless there was new evidence.

Janeway scrutinized him with a doubtful look, waiting for a response. When it didn't come, she simply continued. "A hearing will take place on June 26th, 1100 hours. We need you to be here by then to make your statement."

"That's in four days!"

"Is that a problem for you?"

"It's just that…we're currently at the far end of the beta sector, on our way to witness the collapsing of a supernova."

"Well, I'm sorry that you're going to miss this phenomenon.", she replied with a hint of compassion. "I know this is at a very short notice, Captain, but we expect you to be on earth by thursday."

Will gave up and nodded. "I'll be there, Sir."

"Good." A smirk came over her lips. "Just place your first officer in command. I'm sure that they're going to survive for a while without you."

"I guess so." He returned the smile.

"I'll see you in a few days then. Janeway out." The connection was cut, the screen black again except for the white and blue Starfleet emblem.

* * *

Will sighed, this seemed like a pure test of patience. "Lily, you don't have to color the apples, just put them into groups."

"But daddy, they don't look like apples!", she objected vehemently. "Mr. Winter says 'draw bags around the apples, five apples to- into each bag'."

Her father chuckled, just shaking his head at the child's special way of learning mathematics. He leaned back, still watching his little girl draw bags around smaller circles on the paper, as he had been doing for the past ten minutes. If the only way she would do her Alpha-1 level pre-math assignment was by coloring the apples yellow and red, with a short stem and green leaves, he would let her. If he was being completely honest with himself, he had to admit that he sort of enjoyed watching her draw fruits with such seriousness.

"Ready!", she beamed, holding up the sheet.

"Okay, let's see…" He took the paper and saw that all bags were carrying the right amount of fruit. "Good job, now do you remember how many apples were there at first?"

"Uhm…thirty?"

"Yes, and how many did you put into each basket?"

"Five, I already told you!"

"I know, and how many baskets are there now?"

Lily counted them, pointing at each with her index finger. "One…two…three…four…five…six. Six!"

"Right, so if you put five apples into one basket, and you have six baskets, you have a total of thirty apples." It was important to him that she understood this, because it would set the basics for later techniques of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.

Lily was getting bored of the game though and had already jumped up from the couch. "Can you please learn me the song now?"

"You mean if I can **teach** you the song? Yes, go get the horn."

"Yess!" She ran to the drawers immediately and opened each one, looking for the small, Niriendan instrument. "It's not there!"

"Well, did you put it in there last time?"

"Uh…"

"Lily, you know you need to clean up your stuff.", he scolded. "If you take something out, put it back where it belongs."

"It just disappeared." She shrugged helplessly, when the door of the quarters slid open and her head turned. "Mommy!"

"Hi, you two." She set the data padds on the table, and dropped onto the sofa next to her husband, looking exhausted.

"Hard day?"

"Crew evaluations.", was all that came as an answer.

Will smiled perceptively, remembering the times when they had been sitting together for hours, talking about personality profiles and practical accomplishments. "Did you get it done?"

"No, we're finished with about two thirds of them, but the rest is left for tomorrow." Her daughter walked up to her, tugging at a few loose locks of her hair.

"What are you doing there?"

"Your hair is unstraight.", she stated with a serious expression on her face.

"That doesn't matter at the moment." Deanna gestured Lily to sit down next to her. "So how was your day?"

"Boring.", she replied, starting to kick against the couch with her heels.

"Why?"

"Melissa and Felie weren't there, and Alejandro wanted to play death battle with Ker."

"Death battle?"

Her daughter nodded. "And Felie is on shore leave. Can we go on shore leave, too?"

"Not at the moment, I'm afraid. We can go to the holodeck, but all three of us leaving the ship is impossible right now, because mommy and I have to work.", Will explained.

Lily looked disappointed at this. "Will we **ever** go on vacation?"

"Sure we will, but I can't tell you when." That answer was hardly satisfactory to her, but she didn't dare to interrogate any further.

Her father noticed Deanna glancing at him with a questioning look. Had he said something? Maybe it was his emphasis on "all three of us"…but that couldn't have been enough to catch her attention, could it?

"Hey, I still have to teach you that song I promised, and I'm pretty sure the horn is lying around somewhere in your room. Why don't you go look for it?"

Lily went to go get it, a little less enthusiastic than before. His wife went to the replicator, asking him if he wanted anything. When he refused, she got a mug of hot chocolate for herself and sat back down in the corner of the couch, pulling her legs up to her body. Her black eyes still rested on him, even if it was much less noticeable, as she was obviously waiting for him to say something.

Will spoke up to break the awkward silence. "So how are the evaluations going? Who do you have in mind for a promotion?"

"Lieutenant Carmichael, definitely, and Lieutenant Commander Gregory. As for the ensigns…Lacroix and Svensson, but Commander Davenport thinks that Zulu would be the better choice. We debated that for nearly half an hour, and delayed the decision."

"Zulu is very competent.", he implied his preference.

"They're both competent, Svensson graduated with distinction, he published an exceptional study on anti-matter reproduction."

"True, but technological knowledge isn't everything. Zulu has proven to be a good leader, while Svensson seems a little too…indecisive sometimes."

"He does have a tendency to 'lean on someone'.", she admitted. "But was he ever given a command, or any chance to excel?"

"No, which is another point: he's inexperienced. Out here, you can't always go strictly by the book."

"No one gave him the opportunity to gather leadership experience yet. He is being overlooked, and simply because he's one of the more quiet officers."

"Yeah, maybe…but what do you have against Zulu?"

"I have nothing against him, he's rather a good ensign. But his ambition sometimes appears to dominate him, and he's very impulsive."

Will scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully. "I won't interfere with your decision, but waiting another three months to see how Svensson actually handles a **real** command sure wouldn't hurt."

"If he is given a 'real' command. I'll discuss it with Ashley." She took a sip of her beverage.

The faint sound of a few notes, or at least some kind of tune, reached their ears. They smiled without a comment, apparently, Lily had found the instrument. A few moments passed, silent except for the implied melody from behind the door. Will shifted, he didn't know how to bring up the subject he actually wanted to talk about.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

Deanna opened her mouth to reply something, but thought better of it. Instead, she started collecting the coloring pencils which were spread out across the long couch-table. "Don't always let her run away from her things to start something else before she has cleaned up her stuff."

"Yeah, I know…won't happen again." She put the pencils into a small, black holder.

"Deanna, I have to leave for earth."

She nodded, it was hard to tell by her reaction if she had speculated on something like that. "What for?"

"Something caused the Head Command to set up a hearing to investigate the 'environmental crisis' on Nibba III and its connections to the Inugia incident."

She raised an eyebrow, surprised and even a little cynical. "I didn't know they recognized the fact that there are such connections."

"New evidence, I suppose. Whatever their reasons are, they want me to make a statement on the Nibba crisis…and probably the Titan's activities in the past few months."

This was enough to interrupt Deanna's cleaning, there was deep concern in her eyes. "They're going to inquire about that again?"

"I don't know, probably."

"Well, what did-whoever it was who told you-say?"

"Admiral Janeway didn't exactly say a whole lot. Only that I'm supposed to 'treat the matter discreetly'." He was still debating with himself what would be defined as "indiscreet". Commander Davenport knew the truth, he had placed her in command an hour previously, but she was the only one aware of the hearing-except for Deanna. With a bad conscience, he had decided against telling the rest of the senior staff.

"If you…should you realize that they're trying to get you for something, request a delay. Article 15 grants you the right to delay the hearing for the gathering of further evidence for up to three days."

"When did you turn into a judicial expert, Counsellor?"

"Will, I'm serious!" She crossed her arms, looking more worried than angry. "Request a later date, okay? It will give all of us time to find a solution."

"Alright, **should** anything happen, I will request a delay. But don't talk to anyone about the hearing if you don't have to."

"I won't. So when do you have to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow! And you just heard about it today?"

"That's very sudden, but…" He raised his hands in a speechless, defensive manner. "it's a fifty-two hour journey."

Deanna sighed, sitting back down. He understood her discomfort, but it wasn't his fault that he had been ordered to earth on such short notice. There was no choice. "So did you prepare everything?"

"It's all settled."

"Good…that's good." She leaned back and forced a smile, and Will couldn't help noticing that it never reached her eyes.

* * *

_Hey everyone! For some reason, it has been difficult for me to write this chapter. I'm never sure how exactly they would talk in the future(I've never seen the TV-show in English), and, most of all, there was a thin line in the last scene between writing a natural dialogue, with accurate characterization, and drifting off into cliché._

_Since this story has been going for so long, I just want to ask you a general question now: Are Deanna and Will in character? Honest answer, please._


	30. Chapter TwentyNine: Shadows of the Past

He had the doors slide open slowly, in order not to cause too much noise. Carefully, he took a few steps forward into the quarters. This was a small room with a big window, which was currently hidden behind a materialized, greenish optical screen. Yet a weak, dim, area-restricted illumination was produced by a strip of computer generated "night light" at the opposite side of the room. The grey walls were partly covered in colorful, child-like drawings, which gave the quarters a personal touch.

But he did not notice any of these details, for he was only looking at her. She was lying in her bed in a strange looking, curled up position, while her tangled hair was covering half of her face, fast asleep.

Will was standing there, just watching her for a while, he didn't know for how long. She was looking so peaceful, compared to a lot of the previous nights. He had come here with the resolution to say goodbye to Lily before leaving, but now he didn't want to wake her. It was around five o'clock in the morning. Would it be easier for him just to go without a word? Certainly. Would she be upset later if he did? Probably.

But instead of waking Lily, he merely pulled the covers up a bit more. "I love you.", he whispered, turning to leave.

She stirred, opening her eyes. "Daddy?" It took her a moment to grasp the situation, only half awake.

He smiled. " 'morning, sleepyhead."

Lily set Kiara aside and kicked the blanket aside to stand up. "You don't have to get up yet, it's still very early. But remember the trip I told you about yesterday?" She nodded, rubbing her left eye sleepily without really listening. "It's time for me to go now."

"No!"

"Yes, it is, but I'll come back as soon as possible."

"Don't go! Plea-ease…" He sighed and sat down on the bed. This was a bad time to argue, she was tired and in an awkward mood.

"I have to go, Lily, you know why, I explained it to you yesterday. There are people who want me to tell them what happened on a planet. It's important for them to know." And he didn't want to part in an argument either.

"Can't they just come here then?"

"No, honey, they can't."

"But why?"

"Because there are other people coming, too, and we're meeting on earth. So I have to go now."

"No...", she whined. "Not yet…you don't even wanna leave!"

"People often have to do things they don't like, but that makes the pleasant things even more enjoyable. Listen, you're a big girl, you-"

"And you'll come back for sure?"

"Yes, I will."

"When?"

"I don't know, but I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."

Her look told him that she couldn't make too much of that information. She slipped her arms around his back and cuddled up against him. "Daddy, is earth a-" The rest of the sentence was swallowed by a yawn.

"A what?"

"A nice planet?"

"Oh, beautiful. It's very diverse, that means that there are lots of different looking places." He kissed the top of her head. "Be a good girl for mommy."

Realizing that she would fall back asleep sooner or later, Will broke from the embrace reluctantly. "I'll see you later, little one."

* * *

"Yes! What is it?", he snapped unnerved.

A short, reddish skinned Deukrot entered the room hesitantly. He hated being able to recognize her by her steps. The rubbing of the scale-like skin between her thighs-or whatever these extremities were called-was an unbearable sound to him, it literally hurt. Fortunately, she stopped several metres away from his desk. He looked at her, but she didn't say anything. "Well…? How did he react, Lieutenant?"

"He…I didn't talk to him, Sir. The prime minister refuses to have a conversation with any of the-and I am merely quoting this-of the traitors." Xentithi kept kneading her six, pointy fingers, as if not knowing what to do with her hands.

"What!" Wilson glared at her furiously. "Don't these fools realize that it won't get them anything to negotiate with the other side?"

"I- I don't know, Sir. I didn't even get to converse with one of Mr. Palerzo's ministers." If possible, the Deukrot became even smaller under his questions. "I'm sorry…"

"Sorry!", he snorted. "Now that helps…like I care!" He rubbed his bearded chin with his right hand, a subconscious mechanism of concentration. "Send a communiqué to Tishaya, I don't care how you do it, just do it!"

"But Admiral-"

"Dismissed!"

* * *

Will was walking down Lightbrit alley. He had felt the urge to leave his Starfleet visitor quarters for a while to take a look around the "real world". Not much had changed out here, the houses were still high and mostly circular shaped, the crowds of people still the same. Only the fashion had been slightly altered. A pity, it occurred to him, that he wouldn't be able to visit Valdez. He sure would have liked to see if things had changed there. On the other hand, he probably would have avoided seeing his former home if he had been able to. A tight grasp seemed to reach around his chest when he thought of Alaska. There were the mountains, the hiking, the fishing trips, the hours he had spent outside trying his own borders…the inexpressible claritiy it used to give him. Yet he had sworn to himself that he would not return to this place, his father's house. A teenager's oath it was, but he could not abandon it. An invisible force kept him from getting over it. It was the force of memories, the force of pain, the force of pride. On days like this, Will cursed himself for not being able to leave the past behind. 'It doesn't matter now.', he thought. 'My life is good.' Noticing that his one hour away from military ground was already coming to an end, he embarked on his way back.

The captain had spontaneously decided not to use his break to visit the center of the city, but to go the other direction, where the more ordinary, inhabited buildings lay. No special attraction had pulled him here, he merely wanted to take a walk around the smaller shops and enjoy the warm, yet cloudy day. Passing quiet houses and trees with rustling leaves gave him a better atmosphere to think than gray, sterile rooms. After all, he rarely got to visit earth. San Francisco was a reminder of his days at the academy.

The first part of the hearing had been easy. They had talked about formalities, and asked him to reiterate in detail what the Titan had been confronted with. But when he had just been about to get to the environmental crisis on Nibba III, a lunch break had interrupted him. He didn't quite know how to estimate his own credibility. The presence of four admirals had made him realize once more how serious the matter was. Nechayev and Sharraf had mostly worn neutral expressions, Janeia seemed to believe him, if he interpreted the sound of his remarks correctly, and Wilson…he had been cold as stone, not giving anyone a reason to suppose his emotional involvement in the case. It came to Riker's mind that this would have been much easier if Deanna had witnessed the hearing. He was so used to being aware of other people's feelings that he tended to forget that it was not granted. It actually gave him an unfair advantage from time to time.

" 'xcuse me, Sir…hey, Mister! Excuse me…" Will only noticed that the boy had addressed him when he came running towards the gray, solid wall that reached about waist high. He belonged to a group of kids around the age of 15 practicing some kind of sport on the lawn.

"Would you give me the ball, please?"

"Sure…" He looked around for the utensil, but didn't see anything. "So what's that you're playing there?"

"Oh, it's an old game called baseball." The boy pointed at one of the trees that lined the alley, and Will bent down, noticing a small, brown ball among the roots. "My uncle found records of real matches, some of our ancestors must have played it."

"Interesting." He handed him the ball.

"Thanks." The kid ran back to the group, and they started playing again. Will watched them for few seconds before a transport vehicle hovering a few metres above his head reminded him that he had to get back to the Headquarters. The sun crept out between the clouds and painted circles of light on the ground. Yes, it really was a shame that he hardly got to visit earth for pure enjoyment…

Another Starfleet officer passed him, and he turned his head slightly. There was something vaguely familiar about her, but he couldn't tell why since he had only been able to see her face for about two seconds. Could it just have been an illusion? There were lots of brunette women in blue uniforms.

When he was just about to push the thought aside, Riker noticed a young cadet hurrying after her. "Commander Cox!" When she started and turned around, something snapped inside Will's head. "You forgot this."

"Oh, thank you, Mr. Lewis, how nice of you to give it back right away." She smiled pleasantly and "Mr. Lewis" blushed, apparently a little intimidated, not giving an answer. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

The cadet left and Will took his chance to approach her. "Jeannie?"

She gave him a puzzled look which clearly showed that she had no idea who the "stranger" was. He grinned, she hadn't changed all that much through the years. "Wha-" Her mouth remained agape for a moment, her bright blue eyes increasing in size. "Will Riker!"

"Yep, that would be me."

"Will!" His old comrade laughed in disbelief, and hugged him impulsively. "What are you doing here? Sorry I didn't recognize you right away, it's been so long! You changed a lot…you…you have a beard." He chuckled at the chaotic swell of words. Her outward appearance had remained surprisingly similar to what she had looked like many years earlier. Only the straight, brown hair, which she wore tied back loosely, was longer now than it had used to be. There also were a few more lines around her eyes, but overall, time had been pretty gracious to her. "Aren't you supposed to be up there somewhere?" She pointed at the sky above them.

"Oh, I would be, but I had to get here for ship's business." Not exactly the right topic for small talk. Jeannie nodded perceptively and didn't inquire any further. She noticed where he had been headed and decided to accompany him. He placed his hand on her upper back. "What about you?"

"I'm currently teaching at Starfleet Academy."

"Sounds interesting…what's your subject?"

"Intermediate Cryptography, mainly."

He couldn't help laughing. "Cryptography, out of all courses! You **hated** cryptography."

"Well, I found out that it might have been interesting if I had tried harder back then…and who did not hate Superintendent Bishop's seminars?"

"True…" He grimaced.

"So I see you've made it to captain, that's great! Last thing I heard about you was that you were serving on the Enterprise."

"Yeah, but I figured it was time for a change, and a promotion wasn't really quite unwelcome.", he grinned. "And you're a commander now, and working here…"

"Yeah, I like the atmosphere at the academy. Eager, bright young heads…stubborn and immature, I might add."

"I doubt that we were better than them."

"We were worse.", she laughed. After a brief verification of their identity, they both entered Starfleet ground. The garden was extremely tidy, there were several trees of the same kind on the lawn-he had forgotten their name-that were surrounded by circular shaped fields of flowers. Neat, white paths merged around a modern, edgy fountain.

"I have to go now, Jeannie. But I'd love to know what you've been doing during the past…22 years." The sound of the number hit him, it was incredible that he had met her at nearly the same place again after more than two decades.

"So do I.", she nodded, smiling happily. "When are you free today?"

"I should be out by six/six thirty. We could go grab some dinner, if you have time. If they still have good restaurants here, that is."

"There definitely are some. Why not make it seven then? Here?"

"Sounds good, I'll see you then." He was in a hurry to get back to Room 1-358-C.

"Bye, Will!"

* * *

"Davenport to Saunders", the first officer transmitted through a ship internal commlink, with a fair amount of anger in her voice. "Commander, you were supposed to be on the bridge seven minutes ago. Are you alright?"

There was no reply. Ashley exchanged a concerned look with Deanna, before speaking again. "Commander, can you hear me?"

"Hm? Oh…Oh, Commander Davenport! What…I…" His voice sounded hoarse and confused, quite shocked in fact. It was unavoidable to overhear that he had just woken up.

"You're late for your shift. Is there a problem?"

"I'm sorry, Sir-no, there's no problem. I-"

"Then I expect you to be here within two minutes. Davenport out." She snorted and leaned back in the commanding chair.

Deanna didn't say anything, but she was worried. It was not the act of an officer being late that concerned her, but Eric's behavior in general. He had changed so much, and refused to talk about it. All that she had received as an answer from him in the past weeks was a polite "I'm fine". His reaction to the loss of a friend-or lover, as far as she was aware of it-was not uncommon, but he was getting worse with time. It was not just grief, there was something more to it. He was bitter, she thought, very bitter. But most of all, he didn't care about anything. And she doubted that time alone would be able to improve this.

Only a couple of minutes later, Commander Saunders hastened onto the bridge. His uniform and hair were as tidy as they could be, but if one took a closer look at him, one was able to make out a few poorly shaved spots around his jaw line, and swollen lower lids under his dark eyes. "Commander" He reported for duty without giving an excuse for his delay, taking over his position at Ops.

The first officer appeared to pierce him with her green eyes. "Commander Saunders, arriving late for your shift is an infringement which I can and will not tolerate. I trust that it won't happen again. Have I made myself clear?"

"Absolutely, Sir." His voice had an unnerved side tone to it, not openly disrespectful, but barely enough to let her feel his indifference to the criticism.

* * *

"Captain", Alynna Nechayev objected calmly, but slightly impatient, "the absence of opposing evidence does not prove anything. I advise you to get to the point soon."

"My **point** is that there are only three planets with natural resources of unpolar trilithium, the Omega 3 moon, the Danado moon, and Lima. Lima is close to Starbase 14, deep inside Federation space, just like the other two. Yet the starbase's sensors didn't pick up any Keionian signals, until Stardate…until two days after the crisis on Nibba III."

"Stardate 37659.0", Sharraff nodded, "you already stated that in your report."

"Yes. Obviously, our sensors are able to recognize Keionian starships, but they never did before. It's impossible for them to fly through billions of kilometers of Federation space without being discovered, yet they somehow managed to possess a large amount of unpolar trilithium. The only way they could have gained that is by trade. And the only potential trading partners would be Federation members who mine enough of the natural resources-mainly Earth and Vulcan."

Wilson's eyebrows furrowed. "Are you saying that the Keionians got their trilithium to build the weapons to attack us from Vulcans…or humans? That there is one big conspiracy?", he spat out the words in a ridiculing way. His apparent surprise was like a slap in the face for the captain. He knew that it was feigned, and his superior's unknowing, yet suspicious behavior angered him more than anything. It was exactly the reaction he would have predicted, but that didn't make it any more acceptable for him. Will's jaw muscles flexed, and he had to pull himself together not to stand up and accuse Wilson directly. The admiral, however, looked perfectly nonchalant, in complete control of himself.

"From Starfleet, to be exact, Sir. Along with the phasers they used to kill the settlers on Fepris II and the crew of the Silvershot." He continued quickly, in order not to get interrupted again. "The weapons' system is the most vulnerable part of a Keionian ship since it is impossible for them to absorb energy there. In the process of the fight, which, unfortunately, we were unable to reconstruct fully, the Silvershot's shields must have failed, which is why they could not hinder the Keionians from beaming onboard."

Janeia looked back at him with a sceptical frown, and lifted one hand from the table vertically in order to stop his flow of words. "If their ships are armed so well, why would they beam over to kill the crew mechanically?"

He had expected that question to come up sooner or later, and there was no way to avoid it. "I don't know, Sir." The taste of the words rested heavily on his tongue. "The brutality of the mass murder suggests an act of revenge, or a warning."

"That's a lot of speculation there." The Trill sighed and leaned forward. "The problem is that we need facts. What you have given us so far is a theory that doesn't seem quite plausible-yet."

"Please, Admiral…" If only they let him finish…

"Yes…?" Janeia was starting to get impatient, just like the others.

"Permission to speak freely?"

"Don't be silly, Riker, why would we want you to attend a hearing if not to receive sincere answers?", the only female admiral present threw in. In spite of her own, very militarist attitude, she was unnerved at seeing him follow a strict code of conduct. She knew him too well to buy this as a natural behavior. Their last encounter and his personnel file had shown her a different officer. He was simply being evasive, and it irritated her.

There was no way of going back now. Ignoring Nechayev's energetic reprimand, Will continued. "When we discovered the entirely damaged Silvershot, we were not permitted to examine the wreck too closely, or to transport the remains to a starbase with a tractor beam. I asked Admiral Wilson for a reason, and he told me that other ships would lead the investigation." He glanced at Wilson briefly. "When we came back to the sector, we were…kindly advised not to fly through it. A short while later, Commander Jenkins was sent on board of the Titan to 'supervise our actions'. He mentioned the Inugia incident, but, miraculously, all access to the information was denied by the ship's computer, because the matter was classified for some reason and my authorization code didn't work. At the same time, a major system failure occurred, caused by Ensign Emilio Bicami who admitted his guilt during an interrogation. He also claimed that Commander Jenkins had given him senior command codes and ordered him to change them. The manipulation of the vocal authorization caused an unplanned systemic overload, which we had to fix, while it took several reparations to restore the old codes. And all of this effort was taken simply to hide information about the Inugia attack, that was executed by the Keionians. Is it really implausible then that I have come to the conclusion that some officers in Starfleet are trying to conceal their connection to them?" The volume of his voice had gradually increased. Nechayev and Sharraff looked rather displeased, the latter also a little perplex.

Janeia sighed, "I understand your anger at not being informed about certain things"-was it just him, or did he actually look surprised?-"but we are currently investigating if Commander Jenkins really gave the order and what he meant to achieve by it. It is no more of your concern, Captain."

A suitable answer was on Will's lips…but he didn't verbalize it. He had the strong feeling that Admiral Janeia was not involved with Jenkins or anything of it. Janeia was on their side. But as with every intuitive feeling, a hint of doubt came up in the captain's mind. He was biased against Wilson, but what if he had done so too quickly? "As long as my ship is concerned, it is, Sir. And as long as there is an aggressive enemy who is willing to attack civilians, all of us have to worry about it."

"Well, that's enough for today.", Nechayev ended the discussion. She turned to the other admirals. That woman always conveyed the impression of being in charge of everything, even among officers of the same rank. "We are going to hear Commander Jenkins tomorrow morning at 0900 hours. Captain Riker, since we are not quite finished, you will be heard again at 1600." It seemed illogical that they would interrupt questioning him and "squeeze it back in" later. Perhaps there was a problem with Jenkins' schedule, he thought bitterly.

"The hearing is closed."

* * *

He was gazing past her, looking at the single orchid standing on the table. It was white, with a violet pattern giving the blossom a certain gracefulness. Eric knew that the woman sitting in the other chair was looking at him, but what was there to be done? The silence was awkward. He didn't need to be here, there was nothing to be said. It was embarrassing, simply embarrassing. He coughed, "So…things are going well, I suppose. Nothing out of the ordinary anyway. Everything's alright."

"Really?"

An exceptionally dull question, he thought. He would have expected something more…tricky. "Yeah." Eric kept rubbing the palms of his hands against each other and studied them with an immense interest. "I was late for my shift today, this is the first time something like that happened. I overslept, but I don't understand why everyone's making such a big deal out of it. Do you have a word with everyone making a tiny mistake like that?"

"No.", she simply replied. "You disobeyed orders, shouted at cadets, and humiliated Ensign Precvlavsk in front of other officers."

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Did she complain about that?"

"No. But if things are going so well, why did you do it?"

"Because they were too caught up in their militarist enthusiasm to see the truth, because they…were so full of themselves with their honor and duty and their **great**, wonderful loyalty to see that it won't give them a damn thing…that…" He broke off, his full lips forming a thin line. "It doesn't matter."

"What's the truth, Eric?"

He let out a deep breath. "I don't know. Just not this chauvinistic ideal of honor and sacrifice, this 'I'm dying for my world'-logic. When it comes down to it, all of that is nothing but empty talking, and no ideal whatsoever will help you." He let out a grim laugh. "Wow, that sounds pathetic." Eric looked up at her, she had a gentle, calm facial expression. He detested that pseudo-perceptive, cool look, whatever she might have been thinking of him, she did **not** understand, no one did. She was pretty nice, at least she could be. But she couldn't help him, and he didn't even want her to try.

Eric decided to speed the conversation up a little. "What do you really want me to talk about, Counsellor?"

"Whatever you want to. Chauvinism, honor, the attack by the Keionians…Isabella…"

His head snapped up. "What if I don't have anything to say?"

The brunette woman sighed. "Then you're free to go."

He was perplex, never having expected the counsellor to tell him to leave. After a brief moment of hesitation, he got up. "Alright, well…thank you anyway."

"But", she added with concern, "I think that you do have a lot to say, and I just want you to be aware that if you continue fulfilling your duty hours the way you have, the consequences will be severe for you. You may not lose your position today or tomorrow, no one wants you to go, but even the longest patience doesn't last forever."

"It's only a career, nothing more."

"A career you have been working hard to accomplish. Still it doesn't seem to be important to you now."

"Not anymore! It hasn't been for quite a while in fact." He sat back down, but only on the edge of the chair. "This didn't start with the attack. I thought that working on this ship would be enough…that it would make up for a lot of other things…but I was wrong! As wrong as I could possibly be. I'm getting up every day, knowing that it will be another one full of Starfleet missions, with an important one every once in a while like a planet in need of aid. And for some time, this was enough, it really was because it mattered. **We** helped them, we were the good ones…"

There was a short pause. "But?"

"But…it's like a ton with a hole in it. Things never get better, no matter what effort you put into them. History repeats itself. People subscribe their lives to an ideal, and for what? For a bit of flying through space? I think what has still kept me here was the sense of belonging somewhere. Is it really worth it though? An ideal that can't be reached? Is it worth people dying for it?" The words kept gurgling out, sweat pearls forming on his forehead. He took a deep breath.

The counsellor looked at him thoughtfully. "People like Isabella."

"Isabella!", he spat out the name with a bitterness that did not suggest positive feelings for her. A turmoil of pain and anger rushed through him. "Isabella and her sense of professionalism! We were too busy hiding our relationship to have one. And it wasn't serious…no, nothing ever was except for Starfleet. It was all fun and games, a little flirt. I never told her the truth..." He clenched his teeth to fight back the tears that threatened to form in his eyes. "And I can't even say it now."

* * *

"I would like the Panzerotti alla diavola, please."

"Excellent choice, m'am." The very enthusiastic waitor pressed a button on his note padd and smiled at Will. "And for you, Sir?"

"Tagliolini con frutti di mare, please."

"Ah, our cook's favorite!" Pushing another button, the young man left.

"I've never been here before.", Will noticed. The restaurant seemed pretty fancy to him.

"It's a good place, you'll like it."

"Yeah." There was a short pause during which both of them were looking for something to tell the other one. There were plenty of things to say, but somehow, it was hard to find a beginning.

Jeannie broke the silence. "So how have things been going for you- you know, besides the job?"

"Well…I'm married, and I have a daughter."

Her mouth fell agape. "You-" Will nodded, smirking at his friend's obvious surprise. "Sorry, you just never seemed like the family-type."

He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head downward. "What exactly are you trying to tell me by that?"

"Nothing", she laughed, slightly embarrassed. "It's only that I always remembered you as a very spontaneous, fun-loving person. But I guess time changes people…never mind."

"I suppose it does.", he shrugged.

"That's wonderful though! How old is your daughter?"

"She's four, four-and-a half she'd claim." Jeannie smiled genuinely, which caused her eyes to sparkle like saphires. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'm…" She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I've always been very focused on my career, you know." Will understood, perhaps more than she could imagine. "The subject of having a baby just never came up. I actually was married once-for about 14 months."

She shrugged and took a sip of her chianti. "We were both too young." How easily she managed to conceal the shadow overcoming her features, he thought. There still was a remarkable determination about her, a strong component which made her personality so radiant, even though the "fire" had toned down to a more settled, vivacious charm.

* * *

She was standing beside the open window, breathing the cool, fresh air of the night. Few stars were sparkling above the illuminated city, but Captain Terrace was looking up at them in fascination. She liked to think of them as a deep mystery, as dots of light moving on crystal spheres like some of the old peoples on earth had assumed. A passionate student of ancient rituals, it was no miracle that her furniture was old-fashioned, just as her whole small vacation home on Risa. Some people called Maja an "anachronistic maniac", but she didn't mind.

A knock on the door interrupted her quiet observation. "Come in, Commander Sanchez." She turned around, wrapping her crimson night cape tighter around her petite body.

A man in his late thirties entered the room, surprised that she had guessed his identity. His skin looked bluish in the moonlight and he squinted, trying to make his eyes adapt to the darkness. "Mission accomplished, Captain."

"The kilions worked?"

"As they should have."

"And the _Prifde-Amak_?"

"Destroyed, no survivors."

Captain Terrace smiled, turning her back on the commander. "Good. He will be pleased."

* * *

"What do you know about Admiral Wilson?" They had spent two hours dwelling on old times, completely at ease. Now, Will thought, he could finally ask her. It was worth a try.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Just because…he seems very uptight about protocol."

Jeannie shook her head playfully, she didn't believe his easy reply. "Alright, well, I can't tell you too much, sorry. It's just that he has given some strange orders lately and I've been wondering if he's…trustworthy."

She looked at him thoughtfully, unsure of what to say, noticing his troubled expression. "I don't know him all too well to be honest, and what I know about him is mainly second-hand information."

He nodded, encouraging her to go on. "There has been a discussion going on for a while whether he should be 'advised to retire'. They can't deprive him of his rights though and causing him to leave would be pretty undemocratic. They're afraid of a public uproar, or of political intervention, I don't know. Apparently, his opinion differs very strongly from the other admirals' on some matters."

"How so?"

"He's against any negotiation with Romulus and tries to block every bit of communication between the Romulans and the Federation."

"He's against peace?"

Jeannie shrugged, but started nodding at the same time. "Definitely, but I can't blame him for it."

He snorted grimly. "I think most of us are having a hard time picturing the Romulans as our friends, but-"

"It's not just that, Will, with his personal experience, I think his position is quite defensible."

"What happened?"

She hesitated for a moment, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. "About twenty years ago, Wilson got his position as captain of the _Nautilus_. His family went to visit him, but the ship that transported them was attacked." 'The _Orion_', he remembered. He had been a cadet back then. "His son, still a child I believe, was captured by the Romulans. They brought him to a prison camp on Dequo 3. He was rescued a few weeks later, but died of his injuries."

A Romulan prison camp. Will knew what that meant, but he didn't even want to imagine it.

* * *

_I'm back! Sorry that it has taken me so long, but this turned out to be a huge chapter. I kept writing bits of it, but never got finished. Meanwhile, I spent a week in Denmark with choir and another week in England with school, so the writing was interrupted for long periods in between._

_I also have another announcement to make: I will keep posting the last few chapters of this story as soon as each of them is finished(which won't take me as long as this one, hopefully), but I have decided to re-edit the whole story and change some things. My first reason for this is that I have noticed several errors of terminology and spelling(like "Nechejev", which was supposed to be "Nechayev"). The second argument for a new version is that I don't want the author's notes to be in the final story. The most important reason, however, is about the plot and style. I won't change any major storyline, but there are some details which, in retrospect, I do not like, particularly in the past few chapters._

_So you can read this version chapter by chapter, or wait for the new edited version with replaced content, recognizable by the note "FINISHED" in the summary. _

_Thank you!_


	31. Chapter Thirty: From a Distance

Something was not right; the Starfleet officer had known it upon setting foot into his quarters. He saw a shadow moving in the darkness, and felt his heart pounding in his upper chest. Something…someone was there. "Li-"

A hand covered his mouth immediately and he felt a hypospray being pressed against the left side of his neck in a violent manner. A muted scream escaped his throat and Will tried to bring the attacker down, but he-or she for that matter-had a strong grip on him. All attempts to throw him over his shoulder sideways were futile. "Shhh", I don't intend to hurt you!", a baritone voice uttered quietly. "Stop it! I just want to talk, you hear?"

Will continued struggling against the arms that held him, but it was useless. This angered him, and only caused him to try harder. A tall, muscular man like him, a well trained Starfleet officer, should be able to beat an attacker easily. And then, he noticed a burning sensation trickling down his blood vessels. It was a strange feeling, a feeling which he knew all too well… 'Great.' A nervous sedative was beginning to anaesthetize his body. Already, his hands were starting to feel numb. 'The computer, you have to make it to the computer, call security…'

His arms were immobile in the strong grip. Fighting the effects of the hypospray, the captain focused all of his strength on his legs and attempted to cause the intruder's fall by shoving his own foot backward. "Easy now, I didn't come here to fight, I just want you to shut up and listen for a moment. I'm going to remove my hand from your mouth now, but don't you dare to give any commands to the computer! No security, no lights, got that?"

Will nodded as much as he was able to before collapsing because his legs were unable to support his weight anymore. He had no control over his muscles. Letting out a silent curse, the attacker dragged him over to his bed and withdrew from the illuminated area close to the window quickly. The moonlight was creating a bluish rectangle on the floor, with no artificial light reaching the window in the back because the guest quarters were rather far away from the center.

Will was barely able to hold his head up, although his facial muscles appeared unaffected by the anaesthetic. "If your intentions are so noble", he gasped in a voice filled with rage, "why did you paralyze me?"

"We both know that if I hadn't done so, Riker, you would have tried to play some cheap trick on me at the next opportunity. Now that could have turned out to be pretty interesting, but I'm not in the mood for games. Besides, your body is going to recover within an hour or so."

"Who are you?"

"Someone who is on your side." How he disliked people who were trying to sound all mystical instead of just giving forward answers…

"That means?"

The foreigner chuckled, "Well, I'm not out to murder you, abduct you, or ruin your career, that's something, isn't it?" Will was getting impatient, he wasn't feeling particularly playful and he was unable to make out a face in the darkness. "Just call me Tag."

"What do you want?"

"I have some interesting information for you, concerning Section 31." Tag tossed a padd over to the captain, it landed on the bed. Section 31? Will had only heard rumors of the Federation's secret intelligence organization being involved in politics. To that day, he hadn't even been sure if he believed in its existence.

"Wha-"

"I want you to listen to me closely, and don't interrupt."

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"Mommy?"

The addressed one jumped, she had been too caught up in her thoughts to sense the little girl approaching her. Lily had wrapped herself in her blanket and dragged it out of her room, a part of it sweeping the floor behind her. Her brown eyes were big and filled with fear. Deanna smiled at her wanly, this was the second time her daughter had left her bed that night. She already knew the reason.

"Yes?"

"I can't sleep. I can _hear_ them! I don't wanna stay in there alone."

Deanna crouched down to meet her eye level. "Lily, we searched the room, you know that there's nothing there."

"I know. I know there are no nightbirds, but they're there! Really! They're there…" The little girl broke off, dissatisfied with her own statement. It was impossible for her to express what she was feeling. Deanna knew that, intellectually, the four year-old had understood that monsters didn't exist, yet she was still afraid of them. It wouldn't help to name rational arguments against it, just like it didn't help to tell a person with claustrophobia that there was nothing dangerous about turbo lifts.

"It's okay. I know that it must be a scary thought that there are nightbirds in your room. You know, I used to think that there were swamp monsters under my bed. My dad checked every night. I know it's hard to sleep when you're scared."

"What's a swamp monster?" Deanna took her hand and led her back to her room.

"There are no real swamp monsters, but I always imagined them to be small, brown things that looked like branches with bright red eyes. What do the nightbirds look like?"

"They're big and black, and they have a crooked beak and yellow, glowing eyes. Their claws are yellow, too, and pointy."

"Half lights", her mother commanded upon entering the room. They sat down on the bed and she put an arm around Lily. "So what do they do?"

"They sit in the closet and flap their wings. Then, when you're asleep, they come out and take you away."

"That's pretty frightening. Where would they take you?"

"I don't know.", the child shrugged. "But you can't come back from there."

"We'd never let anyone take you away from here, Lily.", Deanna said softly, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her daughter's face affectionately. "I'm just in the next room, nothing can happen. And you have Kiara here with you." She picked up the terlora, stroking its brown fur. "Birds are afraid of cats."

"The nightbirds don't care, mommy."

"Why would they want to take you away from here?"

"'Cuz they're evil. And they always come when you don't think they'll come."

Deanna remained silent for a moment, carefully choosing her words. "I know that some scary things have happened lately, like moving up to Alpha-2 level, the ship getting attacked and daddy going away, but everything's going to be alright. Your father will be back soon, and you said yourself that some people in your new class are really nice. You invited Anne over for tomorrow, after all."

"Yeah, but…but I don't want things to change. They _always_ do.", Lily emphasized.

For a moment, her mother was at the verge of starting a monologue about the importance of transformation, the positive aspects of change. She decided against it. "You mean like before you came here?" The girl nodded.

"It wasn't your fault what happened back then, and no one can change the past. I can only tell you that things are going to be better now." Deanna was careful about promising things that could not come true, but she was certain that things were definitely going better for Lily at this time than they had used to. She had practically flourished from a distraught little girl to an increasingly joyful child. And yet- she lacked a sense of security. One which her mother was starting to doubt they could ever provide.

Lily was still staring at her without saying a word, so Deanna tucked her in and gave her (another) good-night kiss. She approached the closet, had it open with a light tap of her hand, and scrutinized the inside. "No nightbirds."

"Of course you can't see them when the light is on!", the child objected as if she were explaining the most self-evident fact in the world.

"Alright, let's make a deal then."

"Okay." Lily grew serious, she liked having an agreement with an adult. Naturally, it made her feel very grown-up.

"You close your eyes now and try to sleep, and I'll come back and check on you in a few minutes."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

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"Good morning, Admiral." The young woman looked up from her console, which also functioned as a desk. She had just started her job as a personal assistant five weeks previously, and was very eager to please her superior and work hard for it. This would have made her a perfect aid, if only she had not always been so serious, taking things too verbatim. Kathryn knew that her nervousness resulted from insecurity as to what her duties were. Wendy Timmons was only 22 years old and did not exactly have a lot of experience as an assistant. However, she had grown up devouring every bit of information she could get on Starfleet, and the admiral had to admit that she was an intelligent, nice girl…woman.

"Good morning, Wendy.", she replied energetically. Her good mood was obvious. It was a warm day, nevertheless refreshing because of a mild breeze coming in through the open window. The formal dinner with the Ferengii was finally over, and Kathryn felt as if she had suddenly been washed clean of the previous weeks' anxiety and stress. Everything seemed so much easier now.

She stopped in front of the console. "What have we got there?"

Wendy handed her a neat stack of data padds, and the requested information started gurgling out of her. "Kinyapo sent a formal communiqué to thank you for the reception. The _Odyssey_ has returned from her mission to Nervala IV. Captain Mackintosh finally sent you the report about the supermassive black hole in U-" She frowned, looking back down at the note on her computer. "Uliteasa-"

Janeway complemented the sentence. "Ulitreasapkfeegh space, don't worry, it took me years to learn how to pronounce that correctly."

Her assistant simply nodded and continued. "Captain Kim asked to speak with you, seems like he is having trouble with the new crew assignments."

"What a surprise.", she commented sarcastically. "When does he **_not_** complain about the crew assigned to his ship?"

That remark actually caused Wendy to smile timidly. "I gave him an appointment at 1100 hours, if that's alright, Admiral."

"That works."

"There also was another incident in the Neutral Zone. The third one this year, or so I am told."

Kathryn listened up. "What kind of incident?"

"Oh, no attack or something like that, ma'am. A Romulan warbird destroyed itself under mysterious circumstances. The Romulans haven't contacted us so far, they must have some kind of technical problem with their ships. Strange, isn't it?"

"It certainly is. Well, as long as they're not blaming us for it…it's their problem."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All of the officers had observed the scene playing on the large screen more or less baffled. When the recording was finished, four pairs of eyes focused on Admiral John Daniel Wilson. In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Will found their facial expressions rather amusing. While the named admiral was receiving piercing glances, he himself appeared at a loss of words, even if only for a brief moment. 'Good.', the accuser thought. 'This caught him off-guard.'

"This…is a lie!", Wilson stammered, trying to gather his wits for a smart answer. "A forgery!" 'More like a treachery from your own people.'

"Are you saying that the scene just displayed never happened like that? That it's all a mystery to you? I think you owe us a better explanation than that.", Nechayev stated coolly.

"There is none, because I'm telling you the truth.", he replied simply. "I don't even know that woman I supposedly had a conversation with…that Roxhia so-and-so and I haven't dealt with trilithium trade in the last couple of years either!"

"John, we are certainly going to verify the authenticity of this document. But if this recording just showed us something that actually happened, you had better told us now.", Sharraff urged him more gently, yet firmly. "It would be better to be honest in that case, regarding the consequences for yourself…" The renowned admiral and Wilson shared a close friendship, Will was able to tell by the disappointed look in Mustafa's eyes. One more problem to be faced: loyalty. He was pretty sure that John Wilson still had friends in Starfleet, influential friends who would not turn from him unless he was proven guilty beyond doubt.

The quiet, professional atmosphere in the metallic gray room with the simple furniture seemed to change. There was an almost tangible tension in the air, feelings of anger, confusion and…embarrassment? They manifested themselves in the words and gestures of the five colleagues. The captain had decided that it was probably best for him at the moment to remain silent and refrain from commenting on the piece of evidence that he had brought forward against one of his superiors. It was rather self-explicatory, and so William T. Riker came to play the quiet observer.

"That's precisely what I'm doing! _This_"-he pointed at the screen now merely displaying the blue Starfleet emblem-"never happened! I don't know where Captain Riker got this data. Aren't you surprised that there is no official record of that conversation?"

"You could have deleted it.", the Trill remarked calmly. No emotions were being displayed on his face, not even scepticism, but he was watching Wilson closely.

"Janeia, Janeia…", he shook his head in a sort of tired amusement, "do you honestly think that I would have been able to erase the safety file, overriding the security lock, without anyone noticing?"

The named admiral did not answer. His features appeared to soften for a split second, but his sharp gaze remained fixed on his colleague, immobile. It was difficult for Will to understand why Janeia, an accomplished diplomat, experienced in dealing with more than two-hundred different races, did not see through Wilson's pathetic attempt at sounding casual. Or did he?

Sharraff shifted uncomfortably. "It's not just that…regarding Commander Jenkins' accusation this morning, you will have to explain some things."

"Let's not race to judgements before having verified the evidence.", Nechajev concluded, sounding reasonable enough. "It is true that we have a suspicious recording at hand-a recording which, should it be authentic, answers quite a few open questions. However, we neither know if it is indeed authentic, nor where it came from. That makes it rather vague."

Will decided that it was time for him to speak up again. "Well, Admiral, the first question could be answered with a simple examination…"

"I am aware of that, thank you, Captain. And so it will be done. Anything else?" All four of the admirals were clearly ready to leave, they had heard enough. Nechajev was at the verge of leaving, she had considered her question to be rhetorical.

"Yes, actually. The man who called himself Tag also claimed to know the reason for the recent incidents in the Neutral Zone."

"But hat does that have to do with this record?", Janeia asked, puzzled.

"I don't know, Sir, but he claims that the Romulan warbirds were not destroyed by accident or technological failure. According to him, Section 31 is working to undermine a non-aggression treaty between the Federation and Romulus. He also said that they came into possesion of a new weapon through Admiral Wilson."

Riker heard a muttered "nonsense" and saw that it had come from Sharraff. The Trill shot him a disapproving glance and gestured Will to continue. He hesitated for a moment since the next part of what he was supposed to tell them sounded very absurd, even to him. "Supposedly, it is the _U.S.S. Genesis _who destroyed the ships."

Janeia looked almost sympathetic at this. "Captain, I talked to Admiral Janeway this morning, who had a conversation with Commander Sekat. The ships exploded because of a warp core breach."

Will nodded, "The plasma injectors forged a frequency that was too high, Sir. This happened because the _Genesis_ introduced kathalant to their ship-"

"And what on earth is this kathalant supposed to be?", Wilson interrupted him.

"Kathalant, Admiral, is an undetectable computer virus."

The addressed admiral appeared close to bursting out in laughter. "In case it escaped your notice, Will, computer viruses haven't been used for centuries. Exactly what kind of scenario are you picturing? One of our starships sends a destructive computer program through space, this 'virus' enters a Romulan warbird through its cloaked hull and causes a malfunction in their plasma injectors?"

"**Sir**", Riker replied sharply, "I was informed that the Tal Shiar is not interested in negotiations with Starfleet and that they are working with Section 31 for that purpose. The Tal Shiar introduced the computer virus to their own ships, using time sensors."

Sharraff gave him a look that seemed to express "you're crazy, you know that, right?". The others appeared puzzled at this, too, it seemed as if he had lost all of his credibility in one moment. "All three of the warbirds were new models, practically fresh from the starbase.", Will continued forcefully. "The Tal Shiar have computer program designers, they have engineers and more. They can be extremely convincing if you don't want to lose your life!"

Wilson kept itching his cheek, while shaking his head slightly. The room was so silent for a moment that Will could hear the soft humming of the main computer in the background. The captain felt more and more desperation welling up inside him. How could he make them believe what he had a hard time accepting himself? However, this was so important, and all that they did was react with stoic apathy. He fought down the urge to lunge himself at them and shake them awake, but that hardly would have caused them to trust him more. Hell, this seemed surreal to him, too! Section 31 had always been something showing up in bad holo-novels, not a real opponent. The thing that kept nagging at him though was that at least one of his superiors was involved, and that the others were too by-the-book to see it. He was experienced at dealing with unconventional situations, but at the moment, he felt naked. Bare naked.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure you're alright?" This was the second time she was asking him that and for a moment, it seemed amusing to Will how he had seen the question coming. He tried to react with a relaxed, superior smile, but wasn't all too sure if she would buy it. Of course she didn't, her expression remained concerned.

"Would I be sitting here if I weren't?"

"That's not an answer." Naturally, Deanna would keep asking until she thought he was being open. That was simply her way. But to be honest, he was not particularly in the mood to discuss his feelings about anything. Fatigue had finally caught up with him, and he merely wanted to talk…just talk. He missed her incredibly, which was probably a result of seeing her almost every day during the past fourteen years.

"I am absolutely, one-hundred percent positive that I'm fine, alright?", Will sighed, rubbing the sore back of his neck. Of course the thought of an intruder being able to enter his quarters on the ground of Starfleet Headquarters was not exactly one that would let him go to sleep comfortably that night, but there were guards posted around the house now. As much as this lack of privacy annoyed him, he was also thankful for it.

"I've told you just about every detail of my stay here, we've gone over what people said or didn't say…now what I really want to know is how things have been going up there!" It gave him an uneasy feeling to leave his crew, even if he knew that the ship was in good hands.

"Well, Commander Davenport is certainly making sure that everyone's doing their job."

"I thought so.", he grinned.

"She really is a capable commander. She'll be leading the negotiations with the Kreet, starting tomorrow, about the argument with the Virgili- well, you know what it's all about." So he did. The Virgili were a group of renegades who had split from the Kreet a few centuries earlier to live on another planet of the class M. After many generations, the volcanic activity on the planet had grown so bad that living there was virtually impossible. The Virgili wanted to put old conflicts aside and return to the Kreet world, but the Kreet were not exactly yearning to welcome them back. Although they were actually one race, cultural customs had developed apart and they were two different-fortunately rather peaceful-people.

Deanna sighed heavily and yet, to Will's surprise, a smirk was obviously tugging at her lips. "Both leading councils are willing to cooperate, even though a certain amount of defiance is obvious, starting with the Kreets' refusal to wear clothes for the negotiations, because they consider it ridiculously prude, or as their head representative put it: 'Covering our bodies in garments would only mean excess baggage'."

"That is indeed a severe problem.", he replied with mock seriousness. "So they'll just appear naked in our conference room?"

"That is the plan. I can only hope the joining parties and diplomats won't be too distracted by it."

"I'm sure they'll get used to it eventually."

She raised her eyebrows. "If I remember your first Betazed wedding correctly, it took you quite some time to get used to it…"

"Because I was unprepared for people randomly stripping.", he answered dryly. "I simply wasn't familiar with your weird customs."

They shared a moment of laughter, and it was one of those wonderful, untroubled times that seemed to be so rare lately. Negotiations were a serious business, but small inside jokes like this one seemed to ease everyone's anxiety and relax the tension, even if it was only for a brief moment. Will felt that they were vital for good cooperation among the crew. A fair amount of humor had definitely helped him through all of these years.

He couldn't help noticing that Deanna looked gorgeous when she was amused. Her smile was so radiant when it was sincere, so full of life. He spotted a few lines around her eyes that would show up only in such situations. They were no flaws, but traces of everytime she had been laughing. His thoughts were about to be carried into a wholly different direction, one that was not unpleasant at all…when he suddenly noticed her eyes clouding with sorrow. She definitely had some bad news and was waiting for the right moment to bring them up. He decided to speed up the process. "What's wrong?"

His wife seemed to study him for a moment before opening her mouth. "Will, the crew trusts you. They're very loyal, but-" She paused for a moment, carefully choosing her words. "you haven't been captain here for a long time. They're growing concerned about the way things have been going recently, the investigator, the attack, and now the hearing…rumors are running high, and the fact that the nature of your trip is top secret doesn't exactly make it easy to hold up the morale."

Will rubbed his face with his hands, if only he weren't feeling so damn tired. One of the after-effects of licophine, a strong, fast acting nervous sedative, was increased fatigue- along with nausea and dizziness. He really didn't want to deal with this right now, all he wanted to do was to go home and lie down in his own bed, on his own ship. "What do you suggest?"

"Giving them a chance to form their own opinions by telling them about the situation with the Keionians."

He looked back up and frowned at her in surprise. "How much exactly?"

"Everything. Everything but the suspicions about Admiral Wilson."

Will considered it for a moment. Now that he came to think of it, he really had nothing to lose. In fact, he felt quite guilty about keeping everything from the majority of the crew. After everything that had happened, they deserved answers. "I see your point. Have you talked to Commander Davenport about it?"

"She agreed with me, but she also said that she wouldn't pass information about something that you had classified as top secret."

He shook his head, "No more top secrets."

Deanna seemed quite relieved and gave him a friendly smile. "I'll take care of it. Speaking of the crew's morale…Commander Saunders is intending to leave Starfleet."

"What?" He jerked into an upright position.

"He is planning to resign from his post as soon as you're back aboard."

"He never seemed unhappy with his position! When did this come up?"

"To be honest with you, it doesn't surprise me. You know how he has been acting lately. He's…in a crisis at the moment, and he doesn't see any sense in his duty on the Titan."

"He'll have a hard time finding a job with more sense!" Will sighed, shaking his head in frustration. "Did you talk to him?"

"I've been trying to get through to him for weeks, but he only told me about his plans a few days ago. We talked about his decision, and it doesn't seem to me like he is going to change his mind."

This was as bad a time to lose a senior officer as there could possibly be. Not that Saunders' departure would have been welcome at any time. He was a very competent officer, although Will had to admit that there had been some disciplinary problems lately. Nevertheless, he was a good man, a man to sit with in the "New World", one he had always been able to have casual conversations with. They had played a few rounds of poker, and socially speaking, Erik had never been one of the "problem people", as Riker liked to call it much to his wife's regret, he was easy to get along with. The Keionian attack had hit him hard, Will knew that something had been going on between Erik and Lieutenant Parandecho, but leaving? What the hell was up with that?

"What do you think about it?"

Deanna shrugged, "Personally, I don't want him to leave, and the decision seemed to be made very quickly. On the other hand, he is seriously questioning his life style, and the concerns appear to be persistent. He didn't just wake up one day and decided to throw away his career, if that's what you are thinking. I think he needs some time to figure out what he really wants in life." Her expression saddened. "He's unhappy, Will, very unhappy. We need to let him go, I'm just not sure if he is going to find his peace elsewhere. I'm worried about what will become of him. He needs help and he won't go looking for it."

This did not exactly ease Will's worries, but he was determined to find a solution to the problem. After all, that was the way things were meant to go, there had to be some way to fix this. "I'm going to offer him some shore leave." His wife nodded approvingly, but he knew her well enough to see that she didn't have much faith in his plan. This subject was getting way too depressing.

"But enough talk about ship's business- how have you been doing? And how's Lily?"

"I'm covered in work, as always, but good. Lily keeps asking about you every day. She really misses you."

He smiled warmly, and for some reason, it made him feel proud that she wanted him to be back. It was something to draw strength from, something that pushed things back into proportion. And there, right at that moment, sitting in front of a modern screen in one of the guest quarters in San Francisco, something snapped inside his head. _These_ were the things that really mattered. His family, the sound of Lily's lively talking when she told him what they had been doing in daycare, the proud smile on her face when she did something correctly, her laughter when he tickled her, even the fighting about bedtime and clothes….and Deanna, always Deanna.

"Will?" He realized that she had been talking to him all the time, only that he had stopped listening a while ago. Somehow, he had the weird feeling that his thoughts had drifted off, leaving his face empty with a sheepish smile. He quickly changed it into a serious nod.

She laughed, "What did I just say?"

"Lily…she did something funny…" He was merely guessing by her facial expression.

"Uh-huh." She was surprised at his accuracy.

"I'm sorry, my brain switched itself off there for a moment, what did she do?"

Deanna was about to open her mouth, when there was a hissing noise in the background and she turned her head, grinning at whoever had just entered the room…and Will had a clear hunch who it would be. "Hi, honey! Did you and Anne have fun?"

"Yup", he heard a child's voice gasping, "we…went…to see…her dog." He heard a bunch of things dropping to the floor.

"Oh mommy, can we…please…get a puppy?"

"No, really not, they're very hard to take care of, they chew on everything, and you have to go for long walks with them three times a day. We don't have the time to do that. Besides, puppies aren't very happy on starships, they belong somewhere where they can run outside."

"But Anne-"

"We'll discuss that later.", Deanna cut her off. Will couldn't see his daughter, but he could well imagine how she would start whining. The idea of a puppy probably wouldn't leave her head for a while. "Guess who I'm talking to right now?"

"Daddy?" He could her the hope and excitement in her voice, and saw her running into the picture only a split second later. She touched the screen with her small hand.

"Hi, da'y!" He put a hand on his screen on the other side, and for a moment, it looked as if they were actually touching.

"Hello, Mexican girl!" For some reason, she was wearing a sombrero.

Lily laughed and her mother helped her onto her lap. "We painted the hats for the-what's it called?" She had turned and whispered the question into Deanna's ear, but he had still heard it. A whispered "fiesta" returned as an answer.

"We're having a fiesta in pre-school!", she explained. "Everyone's coming, Mrs. Parker, Miss Reed, Miss Imashyu, Anne and 'Lissa, Alejandro, Felie and Grawnt,…" Lily continued listing people and he didn't want to interrupt her enthusiasm, although he had no idea who they were. All he could do was wonder about the strange names some parents gave their kids. She told him some more about her friends, and he patiently waited for her to finish. "…and what're you doing?"

"Nothing very interesting, still talking to admirals."

"When will you be back?"

"I don't know yet, I'm sorry. Soon, I hope."

"Oh." Her shoulders seemed to drop a little. He knew that his "soon" was slowly losing its credibility. But what else was he supposed to say?

Deanna spoke up gently. "We have to leave in about half an hour, Lily. You should finish your artwork for tomorrow change for the fiesta." The girl slid off her lap.

"I love you.", Will brought himself to say. It always seemed to be hard to get the sentence over his lips.

"Love you, too.", she replied sweetly.

"Have fun at the party, kiddo."

"Thanks. Bye, daddy!" He waited for his daughter to leave the room.

"How has Lily been doing, besides in pre-school?"

"Pretty well during the day, but she's hard to get to bed. You should probably know that there are night-time monsters that she's afraid of, she calls them the nightbirds and claims that they're waiting in her closet to take her away when it's dark. Hardly anything helps, I've talked to her about it many times, we've done role playing involving monsters and so on. She's still afraid, I have to check on her about four times a night, but she'll fall asleep eventually. I just hope that it will stop."

"Do you think it's something like teratrophobia?"

"No, there's no reason to dramatize it like that. It would only be a phobia if it had lasted for months already. It's just a phase, it will pass."

"Are you sure? Given everything that she's been through, I'm surprised that you're taking it as such a trivial thing." When it came to his daughter, he was more worried about these things than he ever would have thought possible.

"I'm not saying it's trivial, Will, it means that there are some larger fears she is dealing with, but it's common in children. She's projecting all of her fears into other creatures." Her voice sounded a bit edgier and slightly annoyed. "I'm doing my best to make her feel safe and get her to sleep at night, it's an unnerving situation, but it's not a severe issue."

"Okay…" He raised his hands in defense, backing off. It was not like he had been doubting her skills as a mother. "I just want her to be alright."

She smiled conciliatorily. "I know. It's a phase, just like the nightmares, trust me."

"Good. What about you? I mean this really sounds nerve straining…"

"I'm fine. My mother send me a twenty minute communiqué explaining the Kreen psyche, for the negotiations tomorrow."

"Whoa. Uhm, so I guess you're well prepared."

"You could say so. She also said she wants to visit soon."

His grin froze for a moment, but he was trying hard to keep it up. "How nice."

Deanna rolled her eyes. "Oh please, don't be so melodramatic…I know she can be hard to get along with, but you're acting like she's a disease. Plus, she likes you."

His mouth fell open. "Since when? She hated me back then on Betazed!"

"That was decades ago, Will! When I was with Worf, she practically tried to push me into your arms."

He smirked, poor Worf. He could not imagine Betazed and Klingon culture to blend well, and Lwaxana and Worf were conservative stereotypes in showing off their heritage. But he thought it better not to mention that to her. "Computer, terran time."

"1738 hours."

She raised her eyebrows. "Have any plans for tonight?"

"Actually, Jeannie and I are going to try out a new restaurant."

"Again?"

"Sure." This was the third time he was going out with his friend this week, but he was surprised at Deanna's reaction. Usually, she would not inquire about these things, but his instinct told him to sound as casual as possible. "When I'm in San Francisco for once, I might as well use the stay to spend time with old friends."

"Friend_s_?"

"Well, she's the only one I've met." Will realized what she was up to, but…could it really be that? It was so silly, and she was not the type for it at all. "Are you jealous or something?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Why would I-"

"You're jealous.", he grinned teasingly. "Why, I thought you'd be above such primitive, _human_ emotions."

"Stop it, will you? I'm just surprised that you are spending a lot of time with a friend you never mentioned before."

This was unbelievable. "I'm sure you had friends back on Betazed who I've never heard of!"

"Of course, but I would tell you about them if you asked me." This was obviously female logic, Will had no idea what she meant and it was starting to annoy him.

"Fine.", he replied as calmly as he was still able to. "At the academy, Jeannie was in the same year I was and we took some classes together for two years. After that, we lost touch until I ran into her about a week ago. Why does it bother you that much?"

"Because you're attracted to her.", she stated bluntly. Deanna's voice was strangely quiet, so it took him a moment to grasp what she had just said. He was puzzled.

"What?" She could not just point out something like that and present it as a fact, much less without her empathic senses, which were not working over such a long distance. "No! She's an old friend, nothing more."

"Okay." He felt like yelling at her for a moment, but the sad look on her face made it impossible for him.

"Really."

"Okay." Somehow, he had liked the angry Betazoid more than the apathetic one.

"Would you stop being so…so equivocal?"

"_I _am beingequivocal? You're the one saying one thing and meaning another!" There was no reasoning with her. Will hated it when she was acting like that. She could not seriously think that he desired an intimate relationship with Jeannie. Cheating on his wife was something he would never consider, not for one moment. Still, the thought was not that far-fetched, was it? It would have been wrong to say that he had not thought of his previous encounters with Jeannie at all. Deanna could not know these things though.

"It doesn't matter what I say right now because you don't believe it anyway!", he shouted angrily. The Betazoid shook her head, out of words for a reply. Her eyes were filled with fury, but also something else that he could not quite place. Disappointment? Helplessness? This argument was pointless, he did not want to fight with her, not when there were light-years between them.

He sighed heavily. "Deanna, listen to me please. There's nothing going on between Jeannie and me. We were…more than friends at a time, but that was over even before we left the academy. You can't seriously think that I'd do that to you, that I'd endanger the life we've just started to build." Will was content with his wording, and he hoped that it would be enough to convince her.

She was silent for a moment, but her gaze was intently fixed on him. "I don't think you'd want that. But you're far away from here, by yourself, and you just met your first love again, who you _are_ still attracted to. A late evening under the influence of wine…these things happen so easily."

"That's my point: I won't let it happen. You need to trust me, imzadi."

"I do.", Deanna sighed. "It's just…"

"I know."

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	32. Chapter 31: Through the Scarred Eye

Will dried his face with a fresh towel and put the grooming utensils back into the top drawer. He leaned closer toward the mirror, studying his reflection intently. The light blue eyes staring back at him looked the same as always, yet there was definitely a bit more gray hair in his beard. Not a striking amount, but noticeable if he was looking for it. A soft beeping sound startled him, and he turned around angrily. When exactly had he become so jumpy? 'Around the same time you started getting old.', a mischievous voice inside his head answered.

The usually black, polished square that was discreetly constructed into the wall was flashing with information: "Incoming Transmission".

Will quickly finished dressing by grabbing a black shirt. "Computer, open a channel."

He didn't know whose face he had expected to show up on screen, but it was definitely not Admiral Janeway's. "Good morning, Captain. Sorry, I know that this ungodly hour of the day is an inconvenient time for messages concerning Starfleet business."

"Not at all, admiral.", he answered politely. Will never called female superior officers "sir" or "ma'am". Starfleet protocol dictated them to use "sir" out of respect for asexual races, however, it still sounded strange in his ears to call a woman "sir". Generally, it was treated as a matter of personal preference and since he didn't know hers, he would simply stick with "admiral".

"However, I think you are going to be interested in knowing this. I heard about your suspicions concerning the Tal Shiar, and I talked to Senator Gesud- yes, a Romulan.", she said in response to his surprised look. "Of course I didn't inform her of anything, at least I haven't done so yet, but she told me that there have in fact been disputes between the government and the Tal Shiar. They have had several sabotages of transport vessels, and there's something else…"

She sighed, shaking her head as she did. Will thought it better not to interrupt her, so he simply waited. "I just don't understand why they didn't tell us about this…" Janeway seemed to be half talking to herself, sorting out her own thoughts.

"Senator Ratk was assassinated about a month ago. They caught the murderer, a poor, young merchant, but the military suspects that he was just used as a scapegoat by the Tal Shiar. Nothing is proven, of course, and you know how the military and the Tal Shiar always blame each other for just about anything. But maybe you've heard of Ratk before…"

"The senator who helped enact the non-aggression treaty for the Gamma Zed system.", Will nodded. The puzzle pieces were starting to fall into place.

"Your informant may be right, although we should definitely wait if the documents he gave you are authentic."

"With all due respect, admiral…how do we know that Senator Gesud was telling the truth?"

"Senator Gesud was one of the people pushing towards an alliance during the Dominion War. He was the praetor's assistant back then, but as a matter of fact, he was the one who pulled all of the right strings." She seemed to muse about something for a moment, and her lips curled into a knowing smile. "And let's just say that Gesud owes me a favor or two."

"The thing I still don't understand about this though is how the Keionians fit into the picture."

"Yes, I've been wondering about that myself.", she frowned. "They have a motif for the attacks, but there seems to be no connection. And we haven't managed to figure out this Tag's true identity so far, although we're still working on it."

"What about the authenticity test?"

"They should be done with that one in another three to four hours. By the way, Will, I don't need to mention that this conversation is unofficial, do I?"

"You mean the private little chat we're having here?", he replied innocently.

Janeway leaned back in her chair, a smile tugging at her lips. "The very same one."

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Miria slammed her hands flatly on the table. "I'm not _paying_ you to have us back!"

Cemre looked at her calmly, his hands still folded. He was an eerie sight to watch in that state, since neither the Kreet nor the Virgili ever blinked. His cold, lavender eyes always remained fixed on his partner in conversation and Deanna had to force herself to do the same. The white pupils took some time to get used to. "Then I am sorry to say that I cannot acquiesce to your request."

"_Kathzan!_", the Virgili leader cursed, or at least the Betazoid was pretty sure that it was a curse. "It's our planet, too!"

"You gave up your claim on it when you departed, Chief."

"Chancellor", Deanna reacted immediately because she felt a strong flash of rage from Miria and saw that an ugly reply was on her lips. "what do you intend to use the credits for?"

He turned his head and answered without hesitation. "Accepting them back would be a vast atavism. The process of economic integration was estimated to take approximately fifty years and there will most likely be certain…disputes between the Virgili and my people."

"You are one people. You do have a common foundation, you just took different paths."

Cemre frowned, he obviously didn't like the thought of being compared to the Virgili. "Very different paths indeed, Counsellor. The United Federation of Planets was going to consider our request for membership in three karu- I beg your pardon, next year. A divided planet, which will undoubtedly still be in the process of establishing a new government, is not going to make a good impression on them. They will be disinclined to accept us." It was hard to argue with that.

Deanna was surprised to find that two peoples who used to be one had developed into such different directions in mere centuries. One could obviously tell that Miria and Cemre belonged to the same race: both were about two metres tall and had pale, purplish skin, deep voices, no ears but simple membranes, small, wrinkled noses, high cheekbones, a dominant, pointed chin, large eyes, and purple spots on their disproportionately small hands. Cemre was older and slightly taller and thinner than Miria, his long, white hair was tied back in a ponytail at the back of his neck and, well-he was nude. Miria's eyes were deep purple and her short hair shone in a bright violet color. She wore a neon-colored, tight gown that went from her neck to just above her knees, but they could have been relatives-judging by their looks. Their personalities were an entirely different matter. The counsellor was glad that they were easy to read, at least she could be sure that they were being sincere this way. She had even been able to pick up on some of their thoughts.

"I can assure you, Chancellor, that the Federation will not disregard the fact that your people just united.", Commander Davenport said. "It's true that we need stable governments, but sharing your planet with the Virgili would show a great degree of diplomacy, and diplomatic abilities are the most basic criteria for Federation membership."

"Nevertheless, we would still have to alter our whole system."

Miria laughed, "We're not some underdeveloped primates! We can take care of ourselves, but I won't grant you the credits."

"And why not, if I may ask?" Cemre's voice sounded polite as always, but Deanna sensed that he was growing impatient. They would have to find a solution soon. She enjoyed working as a diplomat, but would have preferred a member of the professional diplomatic corps to be present at these negotiations.

"You may.", the Virgili woman replied mockingly. "We don't have any credits, alright? We don't use that system."

"Oh. I assume you usually trade goods then?"

"Exactly. We would share our ships with you."

The hint of a smile crossed the chancellor's features. "I am rather certain that our own ships are sufficient. We are not interested."

"What? You can't just turn us away like that, not from our own home world…where are we supposed to go now?"

"That is none of our concern."

"Let's not be rash.", the Titan's first officer intervened. "Yours is the only Class-M planet in the sector. The Virgili may have left it 250 years ago, but it's still their native planet. In a civilized society, especially one that is intending to join the Federation, there should be other motifs than profit to share land."

"They can't provide 5 billion credits, but that doesn't mean that they cannot contribute something valuable to your society.", Deanna added. "They bring all of their knowledge with them, their customs, their merchandise, their science…and their technology."

"That is to be considered, of course.", Cemre replied stiffly. "If they want to live on Kree, however, they would have to adapt to our customs to a certain degree. And I do not think that they are very eager to do so." Suddenly, the ship jumped to warp speed, which startled Davenport and Troi.

"We wo-" Miria was interrupted by a man's voice. "Saunders to Davenport" She looked around in confusion, but it only took her a moment to grasp that the voice was coming out of the thing they called "commbadge".

"Excuse me.", Davenport said apologetically, tapping the small triangle. "Commander, what-"

"The _Resistance_ sent us an emergency message, they're under attack! Sounds like the ship's in a pretty bad state; we're approaching their position, but-"

"Understood, we're on our way. Davenport out." The commander jumped up from her seat. "I'm sorry, but we'll have to continue this at another time."

The two guests nodded in understanding, but neither one of the Starfleet officers saw it because they were already out the door. They ran through the corridors without speaking a word. Images and words were flashing through Deanna's mind chaotically. Eric had sounded frantic, and other officers had been shouting orders in the background. How far away from the _Resistance_ were they? Who were the attackers? They had to get there in time, had to help them. Another attack…perhaps one too much, what did this mean? The Dominion War had done enough to hurt them. 'Not another war, please…'

Without thinking about it, her feet had automatically carried her up to the bridge, although the Betazoid couldn't remember entering the turbo lift.

"How far?", Davenport gasped.

"Eight minutes at warp eight point five.", Commander Saunders answered quickly, without bothering to use formal titles or look at her. He was busy trying to find out the state the _Resistance _was in, and she had more important things to care about.

"Warp nine! Prepare phasers, Cazca. We don't know how their position is going to change, and we need to be prepared for everything."

"Aye, Sir."

"Try hailing the _Resistance._."

"Their shields are up, the connection broke down last-"

"I don't care, try again!", she ordered fiercely.

"Aye, Sir." The first officer sat down in the command chair. Her expression was hard and focused, revealing no emotions.

"What state is the _Resistance_ in?"

"Unknown, Commander, but they're still firing on the other ship.", Saunders answered. "The other ship is using energy weapons…there's no telling who they are though."

"Instable audio connection available, Sir.'', the security officer informed her.

"Open channel." A lot of what they heard was merely static, but through the constant buzzing, the howling of a red alert, loud yelling and indefinable crashing noises could be distinguished.

"Captain, this is Commander Davenport from the _U.S.S. Titan_, we are on our way. What condition is your ship in?"

"…need…p…they…draining…ergy…shields…ling…no en…esc…aren't…ing…" Deanna was firmly clinging to the armrests of her chair. There was so much panic in that woman's voice.

"Can you stabilize it?"

"I am doing my best."

"Their shields are down to 48 percent!", Eric informed them. He was able to scan them at last. "45…" They lost the connection with the _Resistance_. "40…38…"

"We get the idea! Transporter Room, can you beam some of them out?"

"Not yet", Chief Histra replied through the commlink. "we're too far away."

"Keep trying. What about a photon torpedo?"

"Impossible to aim from here.", Cazca replied immediately. "We would be more likely to hit the _Resistance _than the other ship."

Suddenly, the static was back, only that there was much less of it and they could clearly hear the crackling of fire and the hissing of smoke leaking from conduits. "Captain? Captain!"

No one answered, but there was a man screaming in the background and another one barking orders. "Now!-It didn't…em!-Transfer all energy to the shields!"

Something exploded, and another exclamation of pain became audible. "Shields down to 21 percent! I can't…"

"Yellow alert!", Davenport commanded. Her face was still stern, only the slight twitching around her mouth revealed the tense emotions she was fighting against. They would get there, but too late. They weren't doing a bloody thing, and it was driving her crazy.

There was another, much louder explosion, and then-nothing. Silence, absolute silence was all that they could hear. "Did we lose the connection again?", she managed to ask. She knew the answer, but didn't want to hear it.

"No, Commander. The _Resistance_ was destroyed." Somehow, it was even worse to hear the answer from a Vulcan, so calmly, so matter-of-factly as if he were talking about the weather.

"Any escape pods, Commander Saunders?"

He typed something into his console and stared down at it in disbelief. After a moment, he typed something else. Seconds felt like minutes. "Commander?"

"No, Sir. There are no survivors."

"What about the other ship?"

"They left at warp nine. They're headed for…" He shook his head. "I can't detect them anymore, Commander."

"Cease yellow alert." The first officer straightened her posture, she avoided looking at anyone, and it wasn't necessary. She knew what was on their minds, and didn't like handling situations like that. There was nothing encouraging she could have said, but she had to be the leader. Ashley Daveport was a woman of action, not one of the skilled orators, who would keep talking about things in a glorifying manner.

"Commander, we've reached the…position.", Saunders uttered.

"On screen." The bridge fell quiet, no one dared to move or say anything. They were taken in by the sight of titanium pieces and other debris floating outside in space. A huge piece of metal went past them, it had black color from a letter on it. How many people had been on that ship? Officers, civilians, whole families who had died completely unprepared, just on an ordinary day. 'It isn't fair.', was all that Deanna was able to think. The word "fair" didn't seem to do it justice, but it was all that came to mind. 'It's just not fair.' She could not really be angry or sad at that point, the surprise was still too fresh. A great feeling of helplessness threatened to overwhelm her as she stood there, arms crossed.

"Too late…", Commander Davenport muttered quietly. Then, she simply turned around, approaching the captain's ready room in large, determined steps. "Carry on with your work, everyone. I'll contact Starfleet. Saunders, you have the bridge." Eric nodded in quiet acknowledgement, fighting back the cunning rage that threatened to overwhelm him.

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"Hey, Will!", a light, female voice addressed him from behind.

"Hi!" He turned around, but Jeannie was walking right beside him in a matter of seconds. There was something jovial in her quick step, youthful and energetic.

"Where are you headed?"

"Building C."

"Do you ever wonder how they managed to come up with such imaginative names?"

Will smirked, "Must have taken them a long time to make that one up."

They passed a neat lawn that seemed to be used as a meeting place by students. Some of them were sitting in groups, chatting eagerly, laughing or studying, while others remained by themselves, occasionally reciting information from data padds to memorize it. Two young cadets were playing "hover", throwing a fast, electronic disk back and forth. Will recognized the building at the top of the slope, it was the technological faculty.

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing, really.", she sighed. "Just taking my lunch break."

He scrutinized her discreetly, not paying much attention to her words. Jeannie Cox was certainly an _attractive_ woman, but that didn't mean that he was _attracted_ to her, did it? The answer was on his mind in an instant: It did, in this case. Perhaps he did care a little too much for her. In his opinion, it was hard for a man not to find her appealing. She was self-confident, charming, and had a good sense of humor. Yet there were many other women like that. She was not any other woman, though. He used to feel a passionate infatuation for her, but that had been many years ago. The young Will Riker had been very different from who he was now, or so he liked to think. And after all, she had not been his first love because he hadn't really loved her.

Why was he even thinking about all of this, then? Since he had met Jeannie again, there hadn't been one moment when he had considered celebrating an intimate reunion, so there was nothing to worry about. The only reason why these things even came to mind was Deanna's jealousy. It was still incomprehensible to him how she could assume that he would actually cheat on her after all of the effort it had taken to rekindle their relationship. In more than fifteen years, he had never seen her jealous, it was just not like her. It made him feel guilty, and he had absolutely no reason to feel that way, dammit! What did it matter what he would have done if he had met Jeannie again five years earlier?

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Will didn't look away, although he realized he had been staring. "How _am _I looking at you?"

"As if you were scanning me for something…what's wrong?"

"Nothing.", he laughed. "What is it with women and overanalyzation?"

"Maybe you're just an especially secretive man. I see you have some experience in the area."

"You could say so."

For a while, they walked side by side silently, until she stopped, pointing to her left. "I need to get back to my faculty."

"Alright. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Will."

He turned right , leaving the path to move towards Building C, a gray, cylinder shaped complex with few windows. He didn't know what exactly would expect him there, neither had he heard the result of the authenticity test. It was a mere guess that brought him there again. He knew that if any new information had come up, they would probably set up another hearing, and he didn't want to miss it. There were too many questions on his mind, questions that he felt could not be left unanswered.

Pulling down his uniform shirt in a quick motion and straightening his jacket, he entered the building. From the inside, it simply looked like most modern Starfleet buildings-pale, sterile, and meticulously clean. In the past decades, they had constantly been trying to "create a more comfortable living environment on starships", realizing that it was not good for the human psyche to be cast away from its home for years, without sunlight or plants around. This had led to Starfleet personnel having more wellness programs and "technological toys", as Deanna called them, than any other person, which certainly did lessen their sense of claustrophobia. Will noticed that this "beautification" had apparently stretched out to the ground stations and headquarters, which was a nice attempt, although he wasn't too sure if the pieces of modern art, hung up in a straight line on the walls were really an improvement. To him, the Talanian neon-color-paintings looked creepy and out of place.

After walking through a seemingly endless number of corridors, he arrived on the third floor. The room he was looking for was right next to the turbo lift. The doors slid open for him, and unsure what to expect, he entered. At the long table at the back wall, four admirals were seated. The stout officer on the left, Mustafa Sharraff, looked grim and disinclined to talk to anyone, gradually sipping his water. Seated to his right were Janeia and Janeway, involved in a conversation that looked rather serious, as far as Will could judge it from their stern facial expressions and absence of gesture. Next to them, Admiral Nechayev was silently looking over some data padds. The captain was surprised to see Kathryn Janeway, but even more so by the number of people present. The benches were filled with approximately fifty men and women, all of them Starfleet officers of different ranks. How did they know of this hearing? A group of cadets looked like they were taking notes, he supposed that they were students of law enforcement, since they had already been present when he had been questioned.

Will walked up to the front and took a seat in the third row, in between a Bajoran lieutenant commander and a human medical officer. Neither of them really seemed to notice his presence, they looked as if they were caught up in their own thoughts. Muffled voices could be heard all through the room, and most of them clearly belonged to the cadets, who were involved in whispering discussions. He wondered why they had even made this hearing a public issue at all. Information would certainly be carried out of this building.

Finally, Admiral Nechayev raised her voice above the crowd. "The hearing is officially opened. Captain Elliot C.Warren, please step forward."

A tall, big man with broad shoulders, who had been sitting in the row in front of Riker, stood up. Will could not see his face, but for a brief instant, he thought he recognized the red hair. Carrying himself with the upright countenance of a high-ranked officer, he approached the table in front of the admirals. Maybe Will had seen the man at a formal reception or some place like that a few years back, but he couldn't quite place him.

"Take a seat, Captain." Warren did as told, facing his superiors. A tall, blond woman in a black security suit ran a quick scan on him as if to check his vital signs. It was the usual procedure to confirm a person's identity in a Priority Two investigation. With a short nod, she retreated back to the door.

Admiral Nechayev carried on. "I assume you know that you have to speak the truth here."

"Of course." His sonorous, low voice could easily be heard from anywhere in the room.

Nechayev scrutinized him closely, before looking back at the padd she was holding. "Do you know why you are here?"

"Yes, admiral."

"At stardate 53604.05, your ship received fifty tons of trilithium in its compressed molecular state. Is that correct, captain?"

"I don't know, sir. If it said so in the ship's log, then that's right. I've done many transport flights over the past few years and don't remember every one of them. Where did I get this trilithium?"

"On the Omega 3 moon. You were supposed to bring it to a depositing station on Earth, but it never arrived there. There was no entry in your ship's logbook about the transport from day three on. That was in October last year, if it helps your memory."

"Oh yes, I remember that!" Warren sounded quite surprised. "It was pretty odd. We had almost reached earth, when I received a confidential message from Admiral Wilson. He told me to change the course and sent us to a sector that was many light years off, I think it was in sector 130, 132 or something like that. When we got there, we only saw a small station planetside and beamed the trilithium down to them."

"What was the name of the planet?", Janeia asked.

"Selprana IV, sir." Somehow, this did not surprise Will. It was just where he had expected this conversation to go all along. A ruffle went through the rows of people, as they shifted in their seats to discuss the new information with their neighbor.

"If you would remain silent, please!", Nechayev admonished them. One indignant glance from her was enough to cause the conversations to cease right away. She was a very serious person, poignant and not without sarcasm-at least that was the impression he had acquired from their few conversations. Most of the people present at this hearing probably did not even know her, yet she still possessed a good deal of authority over them that could not simply be explained through rank.

Having ensured that everyone was silent again, she turned back to Warren. "Now, captain, what exactly could possibly be the purpose of bringing fifty tons of trilithium to an uninhabited desert planet?"

"Well, I certainly was more than a little surprised, admiral, but we had our orders." Will could only see the man's back, but he was able to hear the confusion in his voice. "The people who received it seemed informed of everything. Is there someth-"

"Who received it?"

"I never saw them, only talked to them via audio connection. I forgot the chief administrator's name, and I never inquired any further. Some of my officers met them when they accompanied the transport to make sure that everything was clear between them and the technicians. But admiral, what did you mean by 'the transport never arrived on Earth'? You _changed_ the location where we were supposed to bring it."

"No, captain, in fact, no official order was given to change the course. And there are no records of Admiral Wilson telling you to set course on Selprana IV."

"What? I mean…sir, that's impossible. I was ordered to change the course, and not just that, I was ordered to do it quickly."

Sharraff frowned, "And you didn't think it necessary to inform the depositing station on Earth of it?"

"I was told that they already knew about it, and since I was in a hurry, I didn't double check it. But if this wasn't an official order, didn't the depositing station report that the trilithium never arrived?"

"No", the middle-aged admiral answered simply, "not until shortly." Apparently, he did not think it necessary to explain anything. His body language clearly conveyed that, and Warren wasn't in the position to ask any more questions. The evidence did not exactly show him in a positive light. Will drew his own conclusions out of the short reply, to him, it was clear that Wilson had manipulated the personnel working at the depositing station-how, he did not know, but he was certain that it had been the admiral. As much as he despised the other captain's "don't think-obey blindly" attitude, he believed every word of what he was saying. The way he described the conversation he had had with Wilson sounded too familiar.

"Captain Warren", Janeia addressed him, "did this order not seem peculiar to you?"

"Of course it did, sir. But so do many others."

"Which you usually express towards your superiors." He glanced back down at the data padd on the table. "Three official reprimands were recorded in your personnel file, all for disobedience. Two years ago, you tried everything to get Commander Finch back onboard after he had transferred. You are not charged with anything here, captain, it just seems strange that you simply executed an order that made no sense to you without asking another admiral about it. Another aspect we have been wondering about is why you did not record any of the transport in the ship's log."

Warren sighed, scratching his forehead for a moment. "I was told not to do so…I was simply following orders."

"Captain, would you stop repeating that, please?", Janeway through in. She sounded angry and fed up with the interrogation. "Besides the obvious authority, why did you really not report anything?"

"Because Admiral Wilson ordered me not to do so, and I was sure then as I am now that he had his reasons for it!", he exclaimed desperately. "He is a very capable and reasonable officer, and although his methods are sometimes a little unusual, they always work. I served under his command for six years and I'm proud of it…admiral."

Janeway didn't look very moved by this expression of old loyalty. "He must have told you a reason, though, explained it some way."

"No, sir, he didn't." 'He's lying.', Will thought. He recognized a bad actor when he saw one.

"So you are saying that shortly before you were supposed to arrive on Earth, Admiral Wilson contacted you, in a conversation we have no records of, told you to switch courses and fly to a solar system that was more than two weeks away from your position and to leave fifty tons of trilithium with people you didn't know. Meanwhile, you were supposed to treat this as a confidential matter and have no official records of it. And you claim that you did that, without asking any questions about the reasons for it?"

There was a long pause, during which the room fell silent. Someone was coughing, but quickly suppressed it. "Captain?"

"Let me put it this way, sir, if Admiral Wilson gives an order like that and says that it will be for…the greater good, you do it. I'd prefer not to say anything more about it."

"You do realize that refusal to answer our questions could lead to your dishonorable discharge?", Nechayev asked firmly.

Warren paused for a moment, and without turning around, uttered: "I'm sorry, John, but I think they have a right to know." Will's eyes started scanning the room for Wilson, but he couldn't spot him.

It seemed to be difficult for the captain who was being questioned to continue. "All of these years ago, we went through some tough times. It was long before the Dominion War, when the Romulans were still definitive enemies. We saw outposts getting attacked, people dying before our eyes without us being able to do anything about it. It's hard to forget these things, you see, even after decades, even if your enemies have become allies in a different war…" He broke off, clearing his throat.

"Selprana IV is close to the Neutral Zone, it has its own strategic importance. What Admiral Wilson told me was that the trilithium would be used to build weapons there, weapons that would be able to convert the energy from anti-matter fusion entirely into kinetic energy and heat, without wasting anything on photonic energy. The impact of one shot, especially the friction of one that is not directly aimed at the ship would have the power to damage all systems right away, the shields in particular. This would make their energy sources accessible to the other ship, making them virtually unbeatable."

"Such a weapon is entirely futuristic, for us at least.", Sharraff replied, although he seemed quite interested. "We do not have the technological methods yet to prevent kinetic energy that is this immense from releasing some of its power through photons."

"But research is being done in the field. Such a weapon was supposed to be built on Selprana IV, I was told, and it was to remain there to mark our border and prevent the Romulans from entering Federation space. It would have made us invulnerable to any attacks!" Warren sounded as if he was describing his own, perfect utopia.

"Captain", Janeway said calmly, but not without a certain degree of horror showing on her face, "the war is over."

"And we are not here to discuss domestic policies.", the Trill admiral reminded them rationally. "So you brought the trilithium there because you thought it would be used for establishing an armed outpost against a race we are just negotiating peace treaties with. Did you know that it would be delivered to the Keionians?"

"No, sir, I had no idea. But I'm sure there is a logical explanation for it."

"Oh, there certainly is.", Nechayev commented with cynicism in her voice. Her pale blue eyes had remained fixed on the captain through all of the other admirals' questions and remarks. "Very well then, captain. This will have consequences for you, of what kind is still to be decided. You did not know the true reason for the transport, but you were aware that this 'project' could not have been an official one, and thus did not keep any record of it. You essentially participated in the proliferation of raw material that would be used for weapons, which would be used against us, thinking that you were participating in the unauthorized production of weapons. Neither one of the two alternatives is better than the other. I think we've heard enough."

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"Tom? Tom!"

"Yes, Mr. President?" The voice was coming out of the tiny speaker standing on President Marius Nuolivaara's well-organized desk.

"Could you come in here for a moment? It's very important."

"Of course."

A few seconds later, a middle-aged, medium sized, man with light blond hair entered the room. He appeared distressed, as if he had been on the run, or at least in a severe hurry. To his surprise, he found the president sitting calmly in his chair, sombrely looking at an old-fashioned, two-dimensional framed picture of his family.

"Tom, how long have you been working with me now?", the elderly man asked warmly.

"Why, since you've been in office for the second time, sir. It must be seven years soon."

"Oh, is it?" Tom was starting to grow concerned at the disillusioned tone of his voice, which was usually filled with so much enthusiasm. Now, it almost sounded hopeless. "Well, I can tell you something then which won't be carried out of this room, can't I?"

"Of course, Mr. President."

"Stop that", Nuolivaara smiled mildly. "I know who I am."

"Yes, Mr. Pre-sir."

"Oh Tom, I have failed."

"How so?"

"During my first term, we had the Dominion War. A war which, as much as I hate to admit it, was partly this government's fault."

"No, sir.", Tom replied firmly. "The Breen were an aggressive race, no one could have stopped them. The Dominion wanted to enlarge its territory, they didn't care about the price for it."

"Yes, we've been through that, but it doesn't matter now-a war did start while I was in office. And it looks like we're going to have another one."

The assistant looked at Nuolivaara in a way he had never looked at him. The president had always been a sort of idol to him, a mighty, intelligent man, but a distant father figure all the same. Now, this idol was starting to crumble in front of him, and he didn't quite know how to react. He simply wasn't prepared to handle situations like this. Naulivaara was the man who found a solution to every problem, and, most importantly, who believed that there was a solution for every problem.

"It's the Keionians, isn't it?"

The president nodded quietly. "Yes, they still refuse to communicate with us. This last attack was simply too much. We can't just keep ignoring the danger they pose to us."

"So it's definitely war?"

"There will be a vote on it, but since there are no diplomatic negotiations at all…yes, my boy, we are going to be at war." Tom fell quiet for a moment, studying the data padds stacked on the table, waiting for orders. When he looked up at the president again, he saw that Nuolivaara's eyes had started to grow moist. He wasn't crying, but definitely struggling to contain his sadness. His assistant gave him a moment to regain control over himself. They needed a strong leader now, one that was able to convey the expression of stability, not one that seemed helpless at handling the new situation. After a mere minute, however, the president stood up in a surprisingly quick motion for a man of his age and straightened his posture. His look had changed to the familiar one of determination again.

"Tom, call the parliament together. I want every representative to be there, I don't care if they're on vacation or sick, just make sure that they are all present. The meeting is going to start at six o'clock tonight. I will be ready by then."

"Yes, sir." With a friendly bow of his head, Nuolivaara dismissed the younger man, leaving him with a hard task to be done.

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Many more officers had been interrogated, and Will was starting to grow weary of it. Some had denied their participation in any secret act, others could show evidence that they had been tricked, while some had actually admitted to standing side by side with Keiona in their war against the Romulans. Undoubtedly, his question about the presence of so many people was solved-all of them would be questioned. But why now? Where had they gathered this information all of a sudden? How had they known who was involved? Was there some list of people who were suspected to work with Section 31? Had some records shown up, after all, or was it that the people were suddenly starting to talk? And if they did, was it just because they had a scapegoat now? The sentence "I was just following orders" in all of its countless variations seemed to turn up too often. If anything was clear, it was Admiral Wilson's conviction. Trilithium and the promise of territorial gains on Fepris II had undoubtedly been traded-but why? What conviction could be powerful enough to make them bear the attacks on Starfleet's own ships?

The questions kept nagging at Will, while the Bajoran officer who had been sitting next to him was just getting dismissed. Conversations started again, when the admirals retreated to another room for a moment to discuss the answers and who would be questioned next. He figured it would take them more than five minutes, so he got up and retreated to the cafeteria. Apparently, he wasn't the only man who had that idea and when he got there, the tables were already occupied.

He walked up to the bar, where a friendly, young woman welcomed him. "Hi! What can I get for you?"

"A cup of coffee, please."

"Would you like something in it? Milk, cream, sugar, amaretto, whiskey, brandy, cinnamon, flambéed rintia, or some Bolian syrup? We have twelve different flavors…"

"No, thank you. Just black coffee." He was amazed by the speed in which she had recited the list.

"Alright." The waitress walked over to a round machine, which had just been filled with real coffee beans by a young man. She was obviously in a hurry.

"Coffee, black." While the coffee was pouring out of the cylinder, Will looked around a little. This was a nice cafeteria, with painted walls and holographic pictures that blended in well. A few plants were standing in the corners, but he could barely see them since the place was crammed with people. It seemed a bit like a shuttle bay on a space station shortly before the departure of a whole crew.

When he had received his beverage, he moved over to the end of the bar, sitting down on a stool. He was just about to review the hearing mentally, taking slow sips of his hot coffee, when he overheard the lieutenant sitting next to him talking to the young man who had filled the machine with coffee beans.

"…terrible, I know. The whole crew is dead! Must be horrific for their families. Just imagine, they were on their way to watch the implosion of a supernova, doing nothing aggressive, when all of a sudden, they get attacked."

"Yeah, and we don't even know who the bastards are."

"C'mon, just think about it. The news didn't say anything about it, but it _can_ only be these Keionians."

"Excuse me", Will interrupted them, "what attack are you talking about?" The two men stared at him as if he were the member of an alien race they had never seen before.

"Didn't you hear it on the news information service?"

"No. What was I supposed to hear?"

"The _U.S.S. Resistance_ was destroyed today. It seems like they walked into a trap, and there were no survivors.", the waitor explained. "Some terrorists are firing on our ships! They're fighting the Federation and won't even admit to it, damn cowards!"

The lieutenant's cheeks were flushed. "Well, sir, we don't know for sure who the attackers are yet. We'll have to wait for the results of the investigation."

"That's horrible! But where did this happen? In the Ganza system, close to Keiona?"

"No, and that's the strange part, captain. It took place in the Epileilion system."

Will thought he felt his heart skip a beat, as a wave of shock and déjà-vu hit him. _"It's a pity that they can't seem to find a way to share Kree. It's the only Class-M planet not just in the Epileilion system, but in the whole sector." _

His mouth felt dry when he spoke again. "Were there any other ships involved, too?"

The waitor shrugged. "Not that I've heard of. The news said that 'all help came too late', or something like that."

Will released the breath he had been holding, relieved, but concerned at the same time. This complicated matters a lot. Perhaps this new attack was just the drop that would cause the barrel to overflow. He shook his head. "Terrible."

"It is." The lieutenant emptied his cup and got up, leaving without a further word, while the waitor turned back to his work.

Will noticed that more and more people were leaving. Not wanting to be late, he stood up, too, and went back to the room where the hearing was taking place. He hadn't taken more than a couple of sips of his coffee. The stream of people pushed him along, apparently, everyone had had the same idea.

He reached his seat just in time to see the admirals come back into the room. They sat down for a moment, organizing their belongings, until Admiral Janeia raised his voice. "Admiral John D. Wilson, please come forward."

A broad-shouldered figure in the front row stood up and approached the modest chair in front of the table, albeit with a possibly self-aware slowness. The same security procedure as earlier was executed on him, which he bore indifferently.

"Admiral, of course you know that you have to speak the truth here…"

"Yes."

"And you heard the charges brought forward against you?"

"It was impossible not to."

Janeia seemed to be unsure for a moment where to start, a chance which Admiral Nechayev took to get involved. "Did you trade trilithium for technological knowledge?"

"I think it better not to say anything on the matter."

"Admiral Wilson, the evidence leads directly to you.", Janeway remarked icily. "There won't _be_ a better opportunity for you to explain yourself, unless you prefer to do so in a court, which I can assure you you'll get a chance to do. I think we are far more eager to listen to your elaborations."

"I doubt that elaborating anything would improve the situation. The plan has already failed catastrophically."

"What plan?" Wilson just shook his head at the question, not diverting his gaze the slightest bit from the people who were questioning him.

"Do you not see how it is important for Starfleet to know what alliance you proposed? What the reasons for the attacks are? How there might be a way to solve this diplomatically?", the Trill asked wondrously.

"I do see it."

Janeway looked furious, even though she was trying to keep her voice low, which gave it a cunning edge. "Very well, then. There are many lives at stake at the moment, and it seems like we are wasting our time. You will be put under arrest, Admiral Wilson."

"Of course.", he replied calmly.

"You owe us an explanation, John, that's the least you can do." It was the first time that Sharraff was saying anything at all. Until that point, he had merely been sitting in his chair stiffly. "I just want to understand your reasons for doing that. How could you?"

The admiral remained silent and immobile, frozen like a block of ice.

"It's all about the Romulans, right? The Keionians were just a means of gaining power against them-until they couldn't be controlled anymore. What happened?" Sharraff was speaking in a low, understanding tone and Will realized that if anyone could get through to Wilson, it would be him. "It wasn't supposed to end like this, was it?"

After a moment of consideration, Admiral John D. Wilson opened his mouth and talked quietly. "It was never planned that Starfleet officers should loose their lives. We gave them trilithium, they gave us the kathalant-a little unorthodox, but it was a fair deal. Then, the Guardians claimed that their Jesv had found a way to detect Romulan ships in spite of their cloaking device. What they wanted for it was a whole planet, Fepris II. I had some concerns about it because I remembered the Inugia attack and some suspicions came up, but the Romulan Empire is a much more dangerous enemy than Keiona by itself. They seem to have no alliances, but unfortunately, they were able to advance their weapons through the trilithium. Since Fepris II was uninhabited at that point, I agreed to make sure that no Starfleet ships would be patrolling there. After ten days of settling in on the planet, they were supposed to give us the codes for breaking through the Romulan cloaking device." He paused shortly, his straight posture slumping a little.

"Did you get them?"

"No. On day seven, the _Silvershot_ passed through the system, although they weren't supposed to. Apparently, the captain thought it would be a shortcut to Deep Space 8 and changed their course. I have no idea why their sensors were on alert, but they registered humanoid activity on Fepris II and decided to beam down. Before entering the orbit, they were attacked…"

"And we know the rest. Why did you continue trading with them afterwards?"

Wilson sighed, shaking his head. "It was a mistake. In their eyes, we tried to backstab them, the deal was broken. A treachery like that is even worse in Keionian society than it is here. Deceiving an ally is punished with the death penalty there. That is why they murdered the crew so…brutally. They threatened to attack the Federation if we stopped the transports of trilithium and…"

"And to reveal who traded with them?", Nechayev asked.

"Yes."

"If they were going to receive the trilithium, however, they would be an outpost against the Romulans at the border of the Neutral Zone. Then, the _Titan_ happened to come across them and the roxhia got suspicious. I sent Commander Jenkins to the _Titan_ to keep them under control, but it didn't quite work out."

"What was the reason for the attack on the _Kreth'Har_?"

"I was unable to provide trilithium at a regular basis, because of the danger of it being discovered. The _Kreth'Har _was transporting trilithium to one of the Klingon outposts." Will was surprised by the admiral's willingness to explain everything, to elaborate details that would incriminate him even more. All through the conversation, he had been so cool, as if the events did not weigh on his mind at all. He sounded almost as if there was nothing at stake for him. And perhaps there really wasn't. The absence of guilt, remorse, or anger and defense hinted that he actually didn't care what would happen anymore. He was disillusioned and had given up. This infuriated the captain, you didn't just give up when you were partly responsible for the deaths of more than a thousand people. You fought or you regretted it, but you didn't show an attitude of nonchalance, no matter what your personal fate had been. He wanted to grab Wilson by the shoulders and shake him, make him realize what he had done.

"I can't name the exact point when everything got out of control. Maybe it was after we barely managed to prevent their discovery on Fepris II, or much earlier, after the first attack. I broke off the contact to Keiona sometime after the feigned crisis on Nibba III. There were no more transports of trilithium after that and frankly, I don't see a way of solving this conflict diplomatically. They won't be satisfied with anything now, they _want _to go to war."

There was a short pause, no one dared to break the silence since they seemed unsure of what to say. The clicking noise of someone recording things on a data padd could be discerned, but when all heads turned in his direction, the young man stopped, looking embarassed. Sharraff opened his mouth once, at the verge of saying something,but decided against it. Long seconds passed until Admiral Nechayev spoke up. "As urgent as the crisis with Keiona may be, another concern is to be put first-our fragile peace with Romulus. The introduction of the kathalant and the successive destruction of their ships was an action planned neither by the Federation, nor by Earth's government. It was an offensive decided and executed by single Starfleet officers, who will declare their guilt. You won't be handed over to Romulan authorities, but you _will _be punished by our government."

As a reply, Wilson mumbled something that Will could not understand, but Nechayev's sharp answer came right away. "Yes, admiral, partly to their satisfaction but much more importantly because of the people who lost their lives."

"What about the millions of people who lost their lives because of the Romulan Empire? Were they simply forgotten when our _wonderful_ government needed allies against the Dominion? The countless war crimes…what about them? All forgotten and forgiven for the sake of our new friendship!" The admiral seemed at the edge of something, his voice was filled with more emotion than he had shown since the beginning of the interrogations, in fact, probably more than he had shown in years. All traces of coolness, of indifference were gone, evaporated into thin air. His words told of more than perceived injustice, they conveyed raw hate.

"You can't blame the entire Romulan race for what happened", Sharraff objected gently, "it was so many years ago, the circumstances were different-"

"The circumstances were different? The circumstances…tell me, what _circumstances_ do you need for torturing people, for taking civilians as prisoners of war and tormenting them as long as it's fun, shooting them when it gets boring? What act provoked killing children in masses? What circumstances could possibly justify taking kids to prison camps, forcing them to work in the manual production of armor, depriving them of food, raping them…" Wilson couldn't go on because his voice was starting to crack. Rage and grief that had been bottled up for years was breaking through.

"Nothing, Admiral Wilson, there is no justification for it, but it happened.", Janeway said sadly. "These events took place nearly thirty years ago, we have to move on. Things have changed so much since then. I think everyone here understands your abhorrence for the Romulans, but this didn't give you the right to form an inofficial alliance with the Keionians and retain it while they were attacking us."

"I don't care if I had 'the right'! You don't understand this because you didn't have to look down at your thirteen-year-old son's injured face and realize that he doesn't recognize you anymore, that he has completely withdrawn from the world outside, you didn't have to watch him die without-without a word."

"Your loss was terrible, no doubt of it, but so was the fate of the families who were living in the Inugia settlement, on the _Silvershot_ and on the _Resistance_. Their friends and relatives had to pay the price for your planned revenge on the Romulans."

Wilson shook his head, "I feel sorry for them, but don't ask me to regret what I did. If this killed a single Romulan, it was worth it."

Janeia scowled at the expression. "We are not getting anywhere with this moral discussion. Admiral John D. Wilson, you are under arrest."

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_It has been a while, but this is the longest chapter so far, I think. The story is coming to an end, and as there are only two more chapters to go, I decided to take a break here and review and edit the preceding chapters. I skipped through them a while ago and the styles of the first few and these last few are too different. I can't say I like the early chapters, especially since they are full of mistakes and not very well-written. One day, when I'll be reading this story again, I will probably not like the changed version anymore, either, but I'll have to live with it then. There are quite a lot of details that I can't leave like this. So I will first replace the contents of the other chapters, before writing the last chapter and the epilogue. The changes will be major, in some cases._

_Thank you so much for your helpful reviews! They make it much easier to improve. Special thanks to Shadowkat(and don't worry, Lily will have a large part in the last two chapters)!_


	33. Chapter 32: Through the Blindfolded Eye

"Annika, would you run over to Mr. Mosqueira and ask him if he could spare half a litre of milk, please?"

"Hm." 'Left. Left, right, left. Use the tree as a shield! Duck and now…fire! Come on! No!'

"Haha! Loser!", Benjamin shouted with delight. She hated when he did that, spiteful little brat!

"You're such a cheater, you took my munitions and you know it! Otherwise, I would've-"

"Nuh-uh! I'm just better!"

"Would you come here, please? Annika!" The call seemed far away.

"Liar! How come I only had three shots left when I got back from the bathroom! You're-"

"Annika Mirjam Hönisch!", her mother interrupted her, coming out of the kitchen. "Did you hear what I just asked you to do for me?" She didn't look like she was in a good mood, after all, she had used Annika's full name and that was never a good thing.

"Mama, why can't _he _do something for once? You'd think he'd be able to walk at the age of _seven_." She spat it out as if she were mentioning the most disgusting number on the planet-no, in the universe, and liked the way that sounded.

"Benny is going to set the table, now stop acting like a two-year-old and run over to Mr. Mosqueira!"

"Why can't you just replicate some milk?", the girl asked whiningly.

"Because it doesn't taste the same, now go or you won't see that violent computer game for the rest of the weekend! In fact, I'll talk to your father about whether we should give it away."

"But papa gave it to us!"

"Yes, but it always makes you two so aggressive."

"What's 'aggressive'?", Benny asked in his annoying, stupid voice.

"Just shut up…", Annika muttered, leaving the house quickly enough not to hear her mother's reply. Great. That probably meant no playing with any of the holo games for the rest of the day at least, and that on a day with no school!

Having left their garden, she noticed what a beautiful day it was. The rain had stopped and although the ground was still soaked and the leaves of the trees were dripping, the sharp wind had stopped and the meadow looked as if it were filled with millions of small diamonds that were glittering in the light of the sun. She would be able to go over to Irina's house and they might spend the day working on their secret cave!

Annika felt a sudden urge to jump and shout, but instead, having checked carefully that nobody was watching her first, she started spinning around until she didn't know where the sky ended and the ground started. Her brown ringlets and the red skirt seemed to fly and blend in with everything when at last, she dropped onto the wet earth, laughing with pleasure.

Looking up at the sky, she suddenly noticed something strange, though. There was a flash of green that looked like a big, shaking wave and after that, a flash of violet. The colors were gone in an instant and at first, Annika thought her eyes had just made it up because of her dizziness, but another wave of violet followed and the next one after that.

The girl frowned, she had once seen something like that before, on a picture. Yes, she was sure of it now, her papa had mentioned how hard it was to take pictures of it and what had he called it again? Some kind of light…a Northern light, that was it! But didn't these usually show up at night? Weird. Then again, he had also told her that there were no Northern lights on Ging-Jon. How pretty they were, though!

"Mama! Look at this, it's so strange! Mama!"

"Wait a moment… », her mother sighed.

"Hurry, you have to see this!"

Her mother came out of the house, followed by her curious brother. Annika paid no attention to her obvious annoyance.

"Look!" She pointed up at another one of the flashes.

"_Wow_!", Benny exclaimed in pure amazement, his hazel eyes wide. "That is so polished!"

Usually, his parent would have remarked something at the fashionable misuse of the word, but she was staring up at the sky herself and looked as if she were a bit unsure what to think of it.

"That _is _odd. I wonder…" She squinted, shading her eyes against the sun with one hand and, with some concern, told her children to stay inside while she would contact the security service and ask them about the matter. Annika didn't understand that at all. What was so bad about a bunch of pretty-colored lights?

Nevertheless, she didn't dare to contradict her mother now and had almost arrived at the house, when a huge, dark machine appeared out of nowhere and started firing large beams of light. There was a painfully loud, hissing and humming noise everywhere, the machine, whatever it was, was racing at an immense speed; and suddenly, there were others, too, racing around chaotically.

After a mere nanosecond of worry, Mrs. Hönisch started running towards their home, screaming and gesturing wildly to her children, who were ahead of her. "Get into the house! _Now_!"

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The room was warm and a lighter shade than most others on the ship, he noticed. Its atmosphere was lively, filled with the vivid voices of children. He had noticed that somehow, coming here lulled him in a sweet sense of comfort. Although sometimes, the sense was bittersweet, as if everything were surreal, too good to be true, or even as if he wanted more.

At this moment, however, these feelings did not penetrate his mind as conscious thoughts, since he was too busy looking for someone. His eyes skimmed the room and found her after a few seconds. She was sitting on the floor, designing a holo-picture.

Instead of calling her, though, he remained standing by the door, just watching her. A smile curled up his lips when he saw how engaged she was in the game. Her focus was pretty good for her age. She was disciplined at concentrating on something-when she wanted to. Holo-pictures required a lot of focus because the player had to arrange small puzzle pieces that kept floating in from all sides to form a picture. In addition to that, they could only be directed somewhere as long as they were moving by pushing the right buttons. What they formed in the end, if everything went right, were colorful pictures or famous pieces of art, in the advanced versions.

Will had no idea what her picture was supposed to portray, since the game was obviously to difficult for her. Yet the stubborn look on her face told him that she refused to believe it. She was chewing on her lip, her cheeks flushed, trying to press the right buttons at the right time. All games had an age recommendation, and although he was not too informed when it came to toys and such, he knew that this puzzle was inappropriate for her. He chuckled quietly, she looked adorable when she was trying to hide that she was fed up with something. This was a trait he had to tell her about when she would be older.

"Are you coming to pick up Lily?" Will hadn't noticed Mrs. Parker approaching him.

"Yes…"

The woman followed his gaze and smiled. "She's some determined child, isn't she?"

"Definitely. And stubborn."

"And such a sweetheart…do you want me to go get her?"

"No, thank you, that's okay. I'll wait a moment."

"Alright. Excuse me, I have to get back to the kids."

She went across the room to a shelf and picked up some data padds. "Okay, children, it's story time. Put your toys away and grab a pillow!"

Most of the audience hurried, gathering around a large, comfortable looking chair once they were finished. "Lazrael, what did I just say?"

"Story time!", a very young boy with a lisp replied enthusiastically.

"Yes, but before that, we have to clean up our toys. Put the spaceships away, please."

Will didn't see the child's reaction because he heard a joyful squeal at the same time. "Daddy!"

Lily ran up to her father, hugging what she could reach of him. He liften her up and embraced her. All that he managed to say for a moment was "hi", but more wouldn't have been necessary.

"Mommy didn't say you're coming!"

"That's because she didn't know, it's a surprise."

"But you said it's only for a short time! You were gone for _so long_!"

"It took longer than I thought it would take. But I'm back now, and I'm not leaving so soon again."

"That's good, 'cause you know what's next week?"

"Hmmm, I wonder what that might be…"

"It's my birthday! And I'll be five and then I can go to _real_ school soon!"

"Yeah, you're my big girl." He set her back down. "And maybe you'll get a present from Earth…"

"Really?"

"Who knows?", Will shrugged, trying to conceal his grin.

"Do I get one? What is it?"

"I couldn't tell you that, then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore."

"Please, daddy. I won't tell."

"No, honey. You _might_ get a present from Earth, that's all I'll say. Do you want to go home, or listen to Mrs. Parker's story?"

"Umm, go home!" She took his hand and pulled him into the direction of the door, but he held her back.

"Didn't you forget something?"

Uttering a "psh", she went back and cleaned up the holo-picture-program. They left the child-care station together. Will exchanged a polite nod with a Plagian officer upon entering the turbo lift. He was the only Plagian on the _Titan_, the only Plagian in Starfleet as far as he knew. Lily couldn't take her eyes off of him. The ensign smiled at her.

She returned the smile hesitantly, moving a little closer to her father. When they had left the turbo lift, she took his hand and whispered. "Why does he move all weird?"

"Because he's from a planet called Plagée, which is very different from this ship because people are lighter there. Walking is a lot harder for him here. And Lily, don't stare at people, even if they look different from anything you've ever seen before. It seems rude to most people."

"Why?"

"If you stare at someone, it makes him feel intimidated, or he thinks that there's something wrong with him. You don't like it when people stare at you either, do you?"

"No", she frowned. "Why are people lighter on…that planet?"

"Every planet pulls you close to it, which is why we're not floating out there in space. And his planet pulls less strongly than Earth would pull us."

"Huh?"

"We only walk like this because we're pulled down to the floor."

"Why?" He sighed, explaining gravitational forces to children was just not his domain.

"Because that's just the way planets work. And we built the same thing on this ship so it feels like home. Only that it doesn't for him, because his planet pulls him down less strongly, so he's heavier here."

"Ah." Lily nodded in a way that was supposed to look mature, even though he knew she hadn't understood it. He enjoyed her curiosity, answering all of her questions. It caused him to think about some things that he had come to take as self-evident.

"Why does he have yellowish skin and we have white skin and Dr. Jay has blue skin?"

"Different people look different. Wouldn't it be boring if we all looked the same?"

"But _why_?"

"We're from different home worlds. You and I are humans, Dr. Jay'Cel is Andorian, and mommy is half Betazoid and half human. We didn't always move around like this and different planets are very different, you see. Some have a lot of sunshine, for example, while it's raining a lot on others. Some have a lot of trees and flowers, but some are deserts. And the people who are living on them have adapted to it over millions of years. For example, people from cold planets need more hair or other ways to keep them warm than people from hot ones."

"How can mommy be _half_ human?"

"Her mother is a Betazoid and her father was a human."

"Evelyn says that her aunt is human, but her uncle is Bro- Braz-…Brazlan."

"Brazlan?" He shook his head, unsure of what to reply. "Are you sure? Did she say anything else about him?"

"Uh-huh, Lissa's mom says that Lissa's aunt is Swiss and that's on Earth. And her uncle is Brazlian."

"Oh", he smirked, "you mean Brazilian. Brazil is on Earth, too. Melissa's aunt and uncle are from different countries, but not from different planets. They're both human."

She sighed and marched towards the door. "That's confusing."

The first sound they heard upon entering the quarters was tranquil piano music. Will followed Lily, who went to the 'living area', as Deanna called it. The details, a few decorative objects, had mostly been arranged by her and that was fine with him. His gaze met the old glass sculpture standing on the small table in the corner, but quickly shifted to the couch, where he found his wife sleeping, a data padd on her stomach. He put a finger to his lips to keep Lily from waking her up and the little girl nodded, moving into the direction of her room on exaggerated tiptoe.

Will slowly approached the sofa and removed the data padd carefully. He didn't know whether it was this movement or the hissing of the doors to Lily's room that awoke Deanna. She opened her eyes and seemed slightly disoriented.. When she saw the padd in his hand, the previous events began trickling back into her mind, washing away the dull sense of sleep. "I guess you fell asleep over this.", he smiled.

Deanna returned his smile wanly and sat up, pushing back a strand of hair that had fallen over her face. "I suppose so." She looked tired, pale, with her eyes small from sleep.

He kissed her lightly. "Night shift? Why didn't you just go to bed?"

"Well, I still had something to read."

He read the title of the text aloud and grinned. " 'Novalis' Blue Flower as an Example for Substantial Symbols in the Vertical Narrative in 19th Century Literature'? Must have been urgent…"

A smirk tugged at her lips. "Maybe I just needed something to keep me from falling asleep."

"Then this fits the purpose perfectly.", he remarked with obvious sarcasm.

"You arrived early this morning and after that, we didn't really get a chance to talk. You'll probably take over the bridge in an hour or so, we'll hopefully conclude the negotiations tonight, it'll get late and I just…wanted to talk to you sometime."

The formulation appeared somewhat odd to him. "Is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine. There are a lot of things to talk about, since we haven't seen each other a whole lot lately."

"A whole lot", he repeated slowly, pulling her closer to himself, "I like that euphemism."

She leaned on him and he wrapped his arms around her. "And I'm leaving next week."

"Oh, that's right, I almost forgot…the annual meeting for strutting around and praising one's own accomplishments."

"I think they left it at 'Annual Diplomatic Congress', it just sounds better. Although your description is much more accurate.", she sighed. "It's basically diplomats and counsellors giving long speeches about nothing." He laughed, shaking his head.

Deanna looked up, glaring at him. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just that you complain about it every year, but you always end up going."

"Well, I have to. When I missed it two years ago, Chmelar repeatedly inquired about my reasons and several other people made allusions to it last year. Let's just say it's easier to get it over with."

At that moment, Lily entered the room, carrying a few stuffed animals and fabric dolls. She spread them out on the floor and sat down in front of them. "Look what I got from Doctor Jay'Cel, daddy!" She held up a tool that looked like an old hypospray, the kind that had been replaced by a better version about five years previously. "That's a hypo!"

"Wow, it was very nice of Doctor Jay'Cel to give you that. Did you say thank you?"

"Uh-huh. Come play sickbay with me!"

"In a few minutes, Lily."

"Promise?"

"Promised."

"So I heard Commander Saunders resigned today…", Deanna said quietly.

"Yes. Yes, he did. Davenport is already looking for a new officer." They fell silent for a moment, a silence that was only broken by the buzzing noise Lily was making while running up and down Kiara's body with the hypospray.

"Will, are we going to be involved…" She looked over at their daughter briefly and lowered her voice, which seemed unnecessary to him because she was too involved in her game to listen. "…in this war?"

"Truthfully, I don't know. This ship was built for scientific purposes, but everything's possible in war. I sure hope we won't have to fight, but at the same time, it feels a bit useless to investigate an ionic anomaly while others are involved in a combat."

"Yes, but it's better than dying."

Of course it was. Albeit…not so long ago, Will would have said that it was better to die for a good cause than to sit around doing nothing. Now, however, he was not so sure about it. Perhaps he had changed his priorities, or he had simply aged, or maybe it was because he thought that they had entered the war too quickly, without trying every diplomatic possibility. He didn't really know what it was. All that was certain of was that he was fervently hoping that nothing would harm his family, or anyone of his crew. Was that cowardice? Was it narcissism?

And then it came to him: To a large degree, it was disillusionment. These past few months had caused him to question everything he had believed in, everything he had defended throughout his adult life. "You know, I'm not so sure if we're doing the right thing."

"With the war?"

"Partly, but also in a broader sense. Everything sounds great in the Prime Directive-a federation of planets, trying to unite different galaxies, exploring the universe without interfering with the development of other species and so on. That's not the way it works, though. Economic, cultural, or personal interests always play a role. We just…aren't the theory we have established."

"That's what makes us human-or Klingon, Betazoid, or Vulcan, of course we are not free from error."

"How can we claim to have the right solution then? How can we say that the Federation is right, that we represent 'good'?"

Deanna shrugged, turning around to look at him. "We can't. I suppose we can merely… 'give it our best shot'."

He smiled at the old-fashioned colloquial language, but the positive expression vanished in a second, when his thoughts were diverted back to the serious matter. "The thing is: I could never agree with what Wilson did, the consequences for our people were too terrible, but I see where he's coming from. And the first thought that crossed my mind when I heard him talking about the war crimes and his son was that if anyone had done that to my child, I would try to find a way to kill them, no matter what. I wouldn't care about principles. There's always this…human aspect."

"And that scares you?"

She hadn't said it in an accusing tone of voice at all, but it still caused him to shift uncomfortably on the sofa. "In a way."

"Will, you-" At that moment, Deanna was interrupted by a stern, female voice coming out of her husband's commbadge.

"Davenport to Riker"

He uttered an annoyed sigh and a "yes!", which sounded quite rude.

"Sorry to disturb you, Captain, but we just got a top priority order to change our course and fly to Ging-Jon as quickly as possible."

"And what's the reason for this course change, Commander?", he asked, alarmed at the peculiar direction.

The first officer hesitated for a moment, a gesture that was wholly untypical of her. "I think you should come up here and look at the information yourself, sir."

"Humph. I'll be up in a minute. Riker out."

"Sorry, I have to-"

"I know."

"What did you want to talk about anyway?"

"It's hardly a good time to mention it now. You should get up to the bridge."

He got up and kissed his wife quickly, which was when Lily noticed that he was leaving. "Where are you going?"

"Up to the bridge, I'm sorry honey, I have to work. It's very important."

"But you promised-"

"I know and I'm really sorry, but we'll have to delay it until later."

"But you _promised_!", the little girl repeated with a heartbraking amount of sadness that appeared unsuitable for the matter at hand.

"And I really intended to keep my promise, I didn't know that I would be called up there, you see? We'll spend time together later, okay?"

"Later…" She crossed her arms in front of her chest and walked over to her mother with a sulking expression on her face.

"I'm sorry. See you later!" He left their quarters without waiting for a reply.

Deanna pulled her daughter up on her lap , softly telling her that it was "not daddy's fault" because something bad had probably happened and he would have to help.

"But why does he have to help people all the time? He's _always_ gone, mommy."

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"Are you alright?"

"Yes, sir, it's just…there's a body with bad burns in there, we need to…recover it. The rest of the building was deserted."

"Okay, but our top priority is the survivors.", Commander Bryson stated matter-of-factly. "Mark the building, we'll return later."

Lieutenant Chavelle nodded, unable to answer. Bryson's gaze lingered on her for a moment, full of sympathy. "That's the sort of thing you never get used to."

"Yes." Sarah wished she could take a break, even if it was just for a moment. Her legs felt shaky and a wave of nausea had hit her when she had discovered the mutilated corps. She had hoped that the fresh air would make her feel better, but it was filled with the penetrating smell of fire, even the sting of burned flesh. If only she could escape this disgusting smell…But there was no time for a break, every minute could count now. Sarah pulled out a red, flashing button and fixed it to the ruin, right by the door. She was just about to follow the second officer(for the time being) to the next house, when a sudden order interrupted his pace. "Riker to Bryson, I found someone in house number thirty-seven and could use some help, the medical team is busy."

"Understood, sir. I'm coming." Bryson looked around for a moment in disorientation.

"Over there, Commander.", Chavelle called, pointing left into the direction of the house he was looking for.

"Thanks." He hesitated for a moment. "Lieutenant, why don't you come, too. Who knows what the problem is."

The engineer followed him, unsure how the captain would react to that. He had insisted on beaming down here to lead the rescue mission, and she had overheard that Commander Davenport wasn't all too pleased with that. Everything had seemed so rushed and she couldn't shake off the feeling that the mode of organization wasn't working.

They entered a flat, circular building, which looked fairly undamaged-but only at first glance. "Captain?"

"Over here!"

Moving around the corner, Sarah saw what she had already suspected: the roof had come down, creating a large area full of rubble and dust. They stepped over the debris, approaching their commanding officer, who was attempting to pull some of it away.

"Someone's trapped in there! Here, help me get this away."

Chavelle tried to lift a gigantic, sharp piece of metal, but even with the help of the other two officers, the chunk hardly moved more than a few centimeters. It was strange how transporters were always overloaded when one really needed them. "This won't work.", she gasped, setting it back down. "We need a lever." Looking around for some sort of solid pole, she was suddenly able to make out irregular, convulsive sobs coming from _inside_ the heap.

The second officer crouched down. "Hold on a few more seconds, we'll get to you."

"Try to lift it again!", the captain called, holding up a kind of long stick.

Bryson shook his head doubtfully. "It's going to break, Captain."

"No it isn't, the angle between the ground and the bar is about forty degrees. It'll work if you and Chavelle manage to lift the thing."

The chief engineer tried to get a solid grip on the cold, slippery metal again and after some struggle and a fair amount of back pain, the lever could be stuck in between the pieces of rubble. The three officers took hold of the end of the stick and pushed it downward and back, which caused the large bar to fall over the other way.

The smaller pieces of debris could be removed more easily and soon, the Starfleet officers were able to see a body, cowering under a table of massive stone. Riker pulled out his standard scanner, silently wishing he had a medical tricorder. Why weren't there enough medical officers anyway?

"My name is Captain Riker, we were sent by Starfleet to help you. Are you injured?"

He only received more sobbing as an answer to his question, which caused him to change his voice to a softer tone. "I am going to get you out of there now, okay?"

Gathering the body in his arms, he carefully pulled it out of the shadow. _It _was a human, a confused and awful looking woman. Her clothes were partly torn, showing off the bruises on her whole body and there were several deep cuts on her face, which was covered in a mixture of dirt, tears and her own blood. The fair hair was soaked with the red liquid in one spot, which suggested that she had received a blow on the head.

Her appearance struck Will at once. "It's alright, the attack is over, we are here to help you. Are you feeling any severe pain?"

The woman shook her head. "No." She was shaking badly, with silent tears rolling down her cheeks. He scanned her, but all that the machine really showed him was that she was alive.

"She's in shock, sir.", Bryson remarked gently..

"Obviously", the captain muttered, barely audible. "Why don't you continue to search the buildings, Commander."

"Aye, sir.", he answered stiffly, walking away immediately. Sarah noticed, however, that he turned around once more, looking at the woman with something in between compassion and remorse.

The stranger gasped, "The- the laboratory…I should have been there today. Was it hit? Maybe they noticed…did they evacuate? What happened?"

"We haven't been everywhere yet, ma'am.", he lied. He was pretty sure he knew what building she was talking about-the one that lay in ruins. "What's your name?"

"Rebecca Leon. I have to go see for myself-"

"No-" Will tried to prevent her from standing up too quickly, but she managed to do so nevertheless. For a moment, she looked as if she were going to pass out, before sinking back down with a groan. On her second attempt, the captain stretched out his hand for assistance.

"Ms. Leon, we are going to beam you up to the sickbay of our starship, for your own safety."

"A starship? No! I have to find my colleagues…I should have been with them…should have been at the lab."

"You can be certain that we'll check every centimeter of the area, and we are much better equipped than you. I'm sorry…Riker to transporter room."

It took the chief a few seconds to answer. "Transporter room here."

"We found another one…one person to be beamed up directly to sickbay."

"Aye, sir." He watched the stranger, who seemed to have resigned to quiet desperation, vanish into blue particles.

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"Beautiful", the ensign muttered, more to herself than to her company because they had hardly spoken more than necessary.

"What is?"

"Those reddish rocks over there, they look just like the ones on Karnasz." Deanna noticed something melancholic in the other officer's smile.

"You used to live on Karnasz?"

"No, but the _Millenium_ was stationed in the orbit for a few months, to help with a climatic problem. It's where Sean and I met." Ensign Callaghan turned away quickly as her voice was becoming unsteady, pretending to take sensor readings from a half destroyed building. Deanna approached her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Helen, you know that if you ever want to talk-"

"I know, Counsellor, thank you, but it wouldn't change anything and besides, I'm okay." The young widow pointed at a distant group of burnt down ruins to their right. "We should get back to the meeting point, since we're done with this area. The others should arrive in a few minutes, too."

They had walked in silence for a couple of minutes, when Deanna stopped without a warning.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone else is here." An uncomfortable wave of fear and anger washed over her.

The ensign looked down at the sensor display and frowned. "You're right, but we just checked these houses."

Following the strong emotions, Deanna turned left into a narrow gap between two small, intact buildings. A big container stood next to one of them, the sort that was usually used to store less sensitive tools if there was no room in the house. A person could easily fit in there, the only problem was that she did not know how to open it, since the lid could not be taken off manually. The display on the side showed a small, green zero. Ensign Callaghan examined it closely and shook her head. "Voice identification. We could try to open it with a phaser, carefully of course."

Deanna was just about to agree, when a humanoid creature jumped down from above, elegantly landing on its feet next to them, startling both.

"Don't move!" The two officers were able to see that the creature was actually a young man, who was aiming a small, phaser-like weapon at them. Deanna looked upward and saw two windows. One of the forcefields had probably been deactivated, enabling the foreigner to jump out. These concerns were secondary to her, though, as she was facing the owner of a weapon.

"State your business!"

"My name is Counsellor Deanna Troi and this is Ensign Helen Callaghan, we were sent by Starfleet to assist the victims of this terrible attack. Who-"

"I'm the one asking the questions here! And don't you dare to move!", he cried at Helen, who had made a slow attempt to draw her phaser. "I'll kill you, I swear!" Troi had no doubt that this was true. He was doing a good job at playing the strong controller of the situation, but he was scared as hell and that made him dangerous. By now, she had also realized that they were not talking to some kind of guard, but to one of the victims-a disturbed kid to be exact. This was not a man, but a boy no older than fifteen, sixteen at most. He was as tall as an average human male, but still more delicate, with a few child-like features left in his face.

"There's no need for any more people to be killed today.", she replied as calmly as she could master. "Go ahead and ask your questions, if you fire now, you'll never know what happened."

For a moment, he appeared confused at her tranquillity, unsure of what to do next. "Give me your weapons first, _all _of them."

"Okay." She sensed that Ensign Callaghan did not quite agree with her fast answer, but she would do it nevertheless. They might have overcome him together if they had drawn their phasers quickly enough, but it was not worth the risk. This boy had no true desire to kill them.

"Throw them on the floor….and no tricks!" They did as they had been told and the kid kicked them their phasers away with one foot, not taking his eyes off of them.

"So tell me…did you guys do it yourself, or did you send your Keionian friends to do it?"

"We didn't attack you, if that's what you mean.", Helen stated. "We came to _help _you because you were attacked by the Keionians. You are a terran colony, what would we gain by murdering our own people?"

"Oh, I don't know…what _did _you gain from being allies with them in the first place, from letting them kill the crews of those ships?" His strong façade was falling, he was close to hysteria.

"It was only a small group of people in Starfleet who were involved in tha-"

"Do you honestly expect people to believe that? That's what you tell the politicians and the news information service the moment everything gets out of control, you find a scapegoat to satisfy the public for a while, but you won't be able to hide it forever, they'll see it!"

"We are at war with Keiona.", Callaghan stated bitterly. "There are always a few black sheep everywhere, a few people who would do anything to take revenge, or to help their career, but fortunately, the majority of all people aren't like that. It's horrible that you were attacked, but it's not our fault."

"No, I wonder how that could be? Maybe the people who ask for a war should fight it, what does all of this have to do with me? I don't _care _about your twisted politics, I don't even intend to leave this solar system. What does that have to do with Keiona, or revenge, or with the Federation?"

"Nothing, and that's what makes it so unfair.", Deanna agreed with him. "There is nothing you did to provoke this, but it still happened. It's horrible, but we can't change it and you can't change it now or face the attackers, either. Threatening us with that weapon won't improve this situation. We just came here to help you and I think you know that."

"I don't need your help, I just want to be left alone! You're messing it all up." He ran one hand through his hair with obvious nervousness and finally dropped his outstretched arm. "Okay, you know what, just go. Tell those other people that you didn't find anyone."

"We can't do that." The boy looked at her incredulously. He had just graciously refrained from shooting them and instead of being glad to leave, this woman insisted on staying. "We need you to come with us to our ship, where the other people we found are."

"And who are you to just decide over my life?"

"How old are you?", Deanna asked, trying to do so without "talking down" to him. "Sixteen?"

"Fifteen.", he replied reluctantly.

"This is the only city on this planet and everyone we found here is with us. What exactly is it that you plan to do here, all alone?"

"I can take care of myself." He released a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry I threatened you and all that, but would you just leave…please? I need to go find my brother."

"We already searched the complete city, he may be up on our starship, you won't find him here. The only way to be certain is to come with us."

"Riker to Troi, where are you?"

The question caught her off-guard, she had completely forgotten about the meeting they had agreed on. "I'm sorry, Will, we had a bit of a problem here, but it's alright now."

"What kind of problem?"

"I'll explain it to you later. You don't need to wait for us, we could just beam up to the ship from here."

"Did you check every building?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's get out of here then. See you up there. Riker out."

The adolescent approached her, a puzzled look on his face. "Beaming?"

"Yes. Were you ever beamed anywhere before?"

"Well, yeah, but I was five years old and I don't remember that day."

"Don't worry, it's safe. There's nothing you can do wrong, just relax."

Helen obviously had no desire to spend any more time on this forsaken planet. "You won't even feel much of it. Ready?"

"I guess." He tried to shake off his insecurity with an indifferent shrug.

Deanna smiled at him reassuringly. "Before I forget to ask, what's your name?"

"Ethan. Ethan Solberg."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"But maybe you simply didn't notice her! She may still be trapped down there somewhere without your sensors catching the signal. Your equipment was never used on Ging-Jon before; there could be some ionic interference or something. And what if…", he swallowed heavily. "I mean if there are no vital signs to be registered, she may never be found at all, right?"

"The whole area was searched thoroughly and there is another troop on the planet right now. We are doing everything that's possible to find survivors. If Miss Melnikow is down there, she will be found."

"You are already recovering the bodies, though, aren't you?"

"Yes, they have started to do so."

The poor man looked shattered at her answer, although he had probably known it before. "Will you tell me if you hear anything about Ava?"

"I'll come here right away.", she promised. "You need to rest now, Mr. Daldry, as hard as it may be." He was severely injured, the internal bleeding had just been stopped an hour or two ago. Dr. Jay'Cel had not wanted to put an even greater strain on his body by giving him a sedative. Although Daldry had been extremely agitated and sleep was out of the question, Deanna sensed that he was beginning to calm down, mostly because his body had no more energy left. His green eyes had assumed an unhealthy, glassy look, almost feverish, which worried her.

"I'll be back later." She smiled, squeezing his hand lightly, and moved away gradually.

"Counsellor, just one last question!" The addressed one turned around again, facing the injured man who was fighting back tears. "Is there still a chance…to find her alive?"

She hesitated, knowing that it was always best to be honest, yet wanting to keep the truth away from him. "It's possible, but not very likely. I'm afraid there's not much hope, but I will try to find out more when the other team returns."

"Thank you.", he answered stiffly, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

Deanna left quickly, passing quite a lot of sleeping figures with more or less severe injuries. They didn't have enough room in sickbay, so the patients lay lined up in their biobeds, row after row. There was old Mr. Huntington, next to the woman with dark skin whose name had escaped her (Miriel? Mira?), and after her the poor, young orphan, Annika. Deanna only checked on them briefly, before approaching the door as fast as she could without making any noise.

She needed to take a deep breath somewhere else, just not here around all of the suffocating pain. Of course she could block the foreign emotions and managed it pretty well usually, but the awareness, the memory of the feelings would still be there and sometimes it just became too much to hold up a shield against. This was what her mother had always warned her about, it meant that one was losing control and that, according to her, was the first step towards madness. Naturally, the powerful telepath's stories had been exaggerated, but Deanna knew that she had to be careful not to lose her individual distance. Perhaps this vulnerability was merely a natural thing right now, it was possible. Still, she had to shut out the foreign emotions now, which also meant not giving in to the desire to cry.

The empty corridor didn't actually feel any different, but she stopped by the door for a moment to collect herself. Going to the arboretum for some meditation might help, but there was no time for it at the moment. She exhaled deeply, focused her mind and was already starting to feel better, when she heard the door slide open behind her.

"Deanna", a friendly voice uttered. "what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing." She turned around, facing the doctor with an easy smile on her lips. "I suppose today was just a hard day for all of us."

"The personal tragedies make it so terrible." Jay'Cel nodded with an atypically grave expression on his face. "And besides that? Not that it wouldn't be enough, but I was wondering how you were feeling."

"I'm fine, thank you." At that moment, she missed Beverly more than ever before. Jay'Cel was a wonderful doctor and a nice, caring man, but they hadn't known each other for that long and of course conversing with him was not the same as conversing with her old friend. She was longing to talk to her because she felt that Beverly would understand her, even though she would probably have criticized her cowardice, too.

"Have you talked to-"

"No, there was no time yet. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you."

"That's alright. The reports of my sensitivity are greatly exaggerated."

"They are not", she smirked, "and that's exactly why you are so highly regarded by everyone."

"I feel very flattered." There was a short pause.

"I should go make some dinner for Lily now."

He nodded and grew serious again. "Don't wait too long with it. It's not a sad thing, is it?"

"No, it isn't. Thank you, Jay'Cel."

* * *

_A Happy New Year to all of you! I know that it's rather late for the wish, but I do hope you have a great 2006. I was unable to update for a while because school is getting so difficult in this last year, there's a lot of pressure on us, which (sadly) doesn't leave much time for writing. In addition to that, my computer broke during Christmas Break and I only just got it back. I also didn't find the time to re-read and edit the rest of my story, so it's going to stay this way, in spite of the countless flaws. If that bothers you…sorry, you'll have to live with it. As the story is coming to a close and I don't really want to put an author's note into the epilogue, I would like to say thank you to everyone who wrote a review. It's nice to hear what others have to say about your work. Happy writing(wow, I sound like Bob Ross) and many inspirational thoughts to you!_


	34. Chapter 33: A New Life

_I can't believe I just finished this fic, after more than two years! I didn't think I would, so I'm sorry it took me a year just to write the last chapter. _

_In case anyone is actually still reading this, which I highly doubt, I would like to say thank you for the wonderful reviews. I hope you enjoyed this story._

"But where will you go to school?"

"I won't. There are a bunch of virtual study programs I could get access to, but that's nothing for me. I'll just do whatever work needs to be done on that land and see where that gets me. It's a rural area, there should be plenty of things to do, even if there are hardly any people around. I don't know. I won't stay there forever. When my dad- I mean…if my dad's alright again after some of that rehabilitation therapy the doctor suggested, we'll move back in with him…I'll make sure Matt goes to school, of course" he added quickly, noticing her disapproval.

"And after that? What are your plans for the future?"

Ethan shrugged and attempted a nonchalant smile. "There's always enough work to be done, you only need to find it. Maybe I _will_ start to travel after all. I'm not a child, I can take care of myself" he stated with a smile that was ever so slight, and yet purposeful in a way that left no room for doubt as to its meaning.

Deanna was going to formulate as sensible a response as she could think of, when a shrill "Ethan!" cut through the noise of the crowd. The addressed one sighed, obviously annoyed.

"Eeethan! Oh, there you are!" A short, freckled boy seized him by the arm. His expression was full of excitement at the prospect of the journey they would embark on.

"Why on earth were you yelling for me across the whole room?"

"'Cause we're leaving. Ariana was looking for you, you know. Let's go!"

"Matt, the shuttle isn't going to leave without us, alright? We have a few minutes left."

"I think your brother is right, Ethan, it looks as if they are about ready to start. You should get on a shuttle."

"Yeah…right…" A hint of disappointment flickered across his features, but he recovered quickly, stretching out his hand full of self-confidence. "Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome." She shook his hand with a smile and did the same with his little brother's. "And good luck with everything."

"Thanks. Well…bye then."

"Goodbye."

"Come on, let's _go_!" Matt seized his brother by the hand and they were quick to vanish in the crowd of people, who were all trying to get on the first transport. A modern _Titan_ shuttle could take up to twenty people, although it didn't look like it from the outside. They had enough such shuttles on board to evacuate the crew if necessary. The last thing she saw of Ethan was a short smile, which was quickly averted when he noticed she was still looking.

Deanna watched it fill up, and soon, an awfully large amount of people were forced back so the gates could be opened for it to leave. There was a general, dissatisfied murmur among those who were left behind, although they were repeatedly assured that everyone would get on a transport today.

She walked around the shuttle bay and tried to soothe the heated tempers, but little could be done by her, and little would they listen. These people had been through too much in the past few days, and most of them were still more or less in a state of shock over losing not "only" relatives and friends, but their home, an entire planet. They were brought to the next starbase, which was only a few hours' travel away, and from there, the lucky ones would be able to move on to friends or relatives elsewhere, who would help them settle down. As for the rest, they would have to make up their mind on a new direction, a new place where they would start a new life, or at least try.

Deanna knew that, for many of them, it would be impossible to move on, that they would be haunted by their memories for a long time, possibly for the rest of their lives. She wished she could have done more for them, but for now, all that she could hope for was adequate support from the starbase staff, and later, those who were dear to them. On top of everything, war created too many homeless migrants, civilians and fighters alike, people who had lost their roots and had no perspective. It wasn't fair.

At some point after the departure of the third shuttle, Will came to find her. "Hey."

"Is everything going as planned?"

"Yeah. I think people are starting to get used to the routine of it."

Deanna took a deep breath and smiled half-heartedly. "How many more?"

"Six, maybe seven."

She shook her head, still stunned. "Ten shuttles, Will…a whole planet."

"I know" he replied quietly. "We came too late…but hey, we've been on duty for days, more or less without a break. I think everything's under control here. Let's get some sleep before the party tonight."

"Right, the party…" She had entirely forgotten about that. It seemed absurd to be thinking of parties at this moment.

"Do you still want to go?"

"Well, I suppose we ought to. For a while, at least." Or rather, _he_ should, as the captain.

Will's expression grew serious. "Strange, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Life goes on."

"Yes. It does." It always did, somehow. She knew exactly what he meant. It was that feeling, that feeling that everything was suddenly so bizarre, such a joke in itself, like flowers in a battlefield, dancing during war time. One didn't have to acknowledge it, she thought, but life always went on, whether one participated or not. "Will, we need to talk. Not later, not later again, but now."

"Yes, you were going to say something-"

"Not here."

He nodded. "All right."

They left the shuttle bay and headed off in the direction of their quarters. "That boy" Will started after a while, "that kid approached you a lot."

"He needed counselling" she explained innocently, already guessing what he was getting at.

"Sure he did" he replied with a smirk. "How convenient."

"William Riker, you are not suggesting that this _boy_ found me attractive in any way?" She had to try hard to keep a straight face.

"Oh no, how would I get that idea?"

She shook her head with a slight smile. "I'm way too old for this."

He chuckled. "Come on, you know you feel flattered."

"Well, I'm only human."

"That's a new one."

These were the moments, she thought, the ones she had missed. Although it was merely light-hearted banter, it belonged into her daily routine. It gave things a sense of normality even during troubled times.

Deanna was beginning to feel the fatigue, now that they had come to some sort of resolution with regard to the fugitives, a natural reaction to her permanent alertness over the past few days. She could sense the same weariness in Will, the wish to just sleep and forget, to be lulled into a sense of warmth and protection. She was tired. She was frustrated. She was disgusted at what she had seen. All that she wanted was to go home and spend time with her daughter, who had been shamefully neglected lately, and her husband. Maybe talk to her mother and catch up with some old friends. Time for herself. Just a bit of time that was not filled with discussions, protocol, and helping others. Was that too much to ask? And still…she needed to talk about this _right now_.

They entered the empty quarters in silence. Lily was still at school – they could officially call it "school", now that she had moved up a level. Will dropped onto the sofa with one arm on the back, rubbing his eyes. "Okay, shoot."

"Shoot?"

"I mean…tell me what's going on."

Deanna sat down next to him on the edge, preparing herself carefully for what she was about to say. Something about this felt wrong. It was not the way she had pictured it. She was supposed to enjoy this, to be happy, gleaming with joy from the inside, or to look like it anyway. This was supposed to be one of the happiest moments in her entire life, but it felt wrong, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. "I'm pregnant."

There. It was out. Too direct? Probably. Will merely stared at her blankly as if she had spoken some foreign language he didn't understand. It was hard to read his emotions, there wasn't really all too much there, and what she could sense was just a conflicting turmoil of everything. "Oh."

Oh?! "I know we weren't planning on it" she continued calmly. "We never even talked about it properly. I know this is not the perfect time – it's a very bad time, actually. I know it may be difficult. But I think we could-"

His jaw dropped as if he were about to say something, but he closed his mouth again quickly.

"I want this child, and I think we could manage. So…what do you say?"

"This is…surprising" he mumbled huskily, still void of all feeling in a way that hurt her.

"Yes."

"But we took the inhibitors. Both of us. How…I mean…"

"There is no absolute protection, you can never be a hundred percent sure."

He shook his head, still baffled. "We took the inhibitors…"

"I know we did!" she exclaimed angrily. How could he be so cold? "Is that the only thing you have to say?"

"No…no, Deanna, it's just…this is surprising."

"I _know_! Do you think this is easy for me?"

"Well, from the looks of it, you've had a few days to get used to the thought" he replied sourly.

She averted her gaze, looking down at her own hands. This was not right. She had wanted to be happy, had wanted him to be happy about this. What had she expected? Sure, it was surreal, in a way…but why could they not embrace it? Was this hurting the baby? She didn't want that, she wanted a happy, loved child, but all she could feel was Will's confusion and her own disappointment.

"I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry, look, I'm tired, I didn't mean-"

"We all are. We need a break."

"I know. Just…" She could see him shake his head in disbelief out of the corner of her eye, and slowly, very slowly, his puzzlement was partly replaced by something else – joy. A bewildered, incredulous kind of joy, but still joy.

She looked back at him, although she had sensed his smile before it actually appeared.

"My God" he muttered, full of astonishment. "That means that we, that you and me…we're going to have a baby."

At that point, she couldn't help smiling back. "That is usually the consequence."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Shore leave?" Jay'Cel asked, surprised at the remark.

"Yes, I think all of us deserve a couple of days off and not many starbases are close to such a beautiful planet. Or is there anything that speaks against it?" He kept a straight face, but there was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "If you have a medical objection to it, we will most certainly not take a break."

"I most certainly do not object to it, Captain." he smiled.

Deanna was not listening to their conversation very attentively, since she had seen Commander Davenport enter the "New World", looking around for a place to sit or an acquaintance to talk to. It was quite strange to see her in other clothes than her uniform, with her hair down. There was a touch of plain elegance in her appearance; she was wearing a nice, crimson shirt and black trousers. She looked like she was unsure of where to go, nobody seemed to be waiting for her. A few people acknowledged her presence with a polite greeting, but they moved on quickly. With a slight nod and a friendly "hello", she passed their table, most seats had already been taken.

Deanna decided to take the initiative. "Ashley, would you care to join us?"

The commander hesitated. "As long as I'm not…intruding…"

"Of course you're not." Will pointed to a vacant chair. "As long as you don't want to discuss warp theory, at least."

She smiled and sat down, a bit stiffly. It was rather obvious that she was not used to spending much time at parties.

The doctor shook his head incredulously. "Can you believe that we've been here for two years already? It feels to me like we just arrived."

"Yes, it's strange how fast time goes by."

"I remember my first day here, it seems like yesterday that Captain Stale told us about the 'true rules of the Neutral Zone'."

"The true rules?" Deanna asked.

The doctor laughed heartily. "Well, his speech was _a bit _unconventional and the vocabulary that he used to explain our job quite…colloquial." Davenport and Jay'Cel exchanged a smile, the way one smiles when sharing the memory of a brief moment that could not be half as special, were it to be explained to a third person.

A new song was being played, a cheerful, light one, harmonized by various instruments. "Would you like to dance?" Jay asked gallantly.

Ashley smiled doubtfully. "Me? I'm afraid I'm not a very accomplished dancer."

"Neither am I" he chuckled, "not with this kind of dancing at least. We could just pretend and hope that no one will notice."

"Why not…" They approached the dance floor together, a little hesitant, but with a sort of timid joy reflected in their expressions.

"Wouldn't they make a nice couple?" Deanna commented, looking after them.

"Those two? That's not going to happen, they're too different. Their personalities don't match."

"Who knows? Differences can be very attractive."

"Not in that case. And she said 'why not' –not a good thing."

"An expert on the matter, are you?" she teased him.

"I refuse to answer that one." he replied with a grin. "Would _you_ like to dance?"

Deanna smirked. "I thought you'd never ask. Why not?" While taking his hand, she cast a quick glance at Lily and was satisfied to find her still sitting at another table with two children, a girl of six or seven and a boy around the age of five. They appeared to have a sort of competition that consisted of blowing as many bubbles as possible into their "Cherry Treat", or whatever the disgustingly sweet beverage was called. Of course it was not a display of good manners, but in this case, Deanna chose to overlook it. At least they were not getting bored, with most of the guests being much older. And she was glad that Lily was beginning to befriend other children, or at least approaching them at all.

The ship's anniversary feast was quite an event, as they had only come to find out a few days before. For one evening, everyone celebrated together in a relaxed atmosphere that disregarded rank and delayed every task for a few hours. It reminded them that they were all "in the same boat" (or rather, ship), and strengthened their sense of belonging.

They started to dance to the fast music, which proved to be quite a task. She didn't know what precisely they were doing, if there was a name to it or anything of the sort. If moving and turning in the rhythm of the music counted as good dancing, then their interpretation of the music was correct. It felt great, liberating, in a way, to just indulge in something as trivial as a party. How long had they not done that?

The music changed as the song was replaced by a slower, less spectacular one. The lights were dimmed a bit, which caused the reflection of the colours off the ceiling to cast mysterious shadows on the floor. Will drew her closer and they stepped from one foot to the other, turning slowly.

"Glad we came after all?"

"Hmm." She nodded contentedly, looking up at his smiling face.

It felt good to be so close again, warm and somewhat giddy, like falling in love, but at the same time, comfortable, established, safe. Whether these were her feelings or his, she couldn't really tell anymore, nor did she want to. She moved a bit closer still, and his arm slid around her further. She could almost feel his breathing. They were barely moving anymore, but rather shifting their weight from one foot to the other, fixed in the moment.

"How do you think Lily is going to take it?"

"I'm not sure what her reaction will be tomorrow, to be honest" she answered quietly. "But I think she'll be fine, and maybe even happy about a sibling. As long as she knows that it makes no difference…"

"Yeah."

She followed his gaze, which was now fixed on their daughter, who was running around the room with the other two children, avoiding the dancefloor. "Time for her to go to bed soon."

He frowned, but nodded at the same time. "Not right now."

She smiled. "No, not right now."

Deanna averted her gaze from the little girl again, looking at nothing in particular, just enjoying the dance. Just feeling. Lily would be all right, they would all be fine. Or at least that was what she hoped. There was no certainty, of course, no one could guarantee that they wouldn't get blown up by the Keionians the next day. They weren't safe. And at the same time, she believed that the three of them- no, the four of them would be all right, had to make herself believe that. They couldn't live in fear, they never had been able to. It was so easy to forget what really mattered over it. You couldn't live without having a life. But was it fair to their children, to expose them to that danger? She had no idea.

She simply didn't know.

**The Beginning**


End file.
